The boss room door loomed in front of me, massive and cracked open halfway.
"…Weird. Shouldn't this be sealed until someone challenges it?"
Curiosity itched at my brain. Every instinct told me barging into a boss room without prep was suicide.
I pressed my back against the cold stone wall, clutching my satchel tight. "Alright… think like a gamer," I muttered. "Step one: prep."
I pulled out the bottle of mana potion, grimacing as the sweet, metallic liquid slid down my throat.
[MP: 200 → 360/360]
Only half mana potion and last healing potion left now. "Ugh, if a boss fight eats all my potions, I'm doomed."
Step two: scout. I shut my eyes, extending my mana sense into the yawning darkness beyond the cracked boss door. If anything lurked there—some monstrous mana pressure, bloodlust, or even the faint ripple of movement—I'd catch it.
But there was nothing. Empty. Silent.
Which only made me more paranoid. "Maybe it's hiding."
Step three: sneak.
I eased through the half-open door, pressing myself flat against the wall like some burglar. I crept along sideways, inch by inch, half expecting a giant claw to burst out of the dark. My heartbeat echoed louder than my footsteps.
Eyes darting everywhere. "Okay… where's the roar? Where's the jump scare?"
Ten seconds. Twenty. Nothing.
Finally, I relaxed a little but was still cautious of any sudden jump scare.
At the center of the chamber sat a pedestal, and on top of it—an open treasure chest.
"Oh hohoho…" I whispered, eyes narrowing. "Loot."
I tiptoed closer, step by cautious step, hands trembling with excitement. Just a little peek—
Then something gleamed leftside in the shadows.
I turned—and a skull grinned back at me.
"GAAAAAHHHH!"
My scream echoed off the chamber walls, bouncing back a dozen times louder. I stumbled backward, nearly tripping over. The skeleton slumped against the wall didn't move, its cracked jaw frozen in eternal mockery. Another one leaned beside it, a ribcage caved in.
I clutched my chest. "You—you damn bone decorations! Not funny!"
After a long minute of glaring, I decided to move on. But I gave one last extra suspicious squint. "Don't you dare."
Then I moved towards the chest.
At least the chest was real. I looked inside, breath held—
Empty.
"…What the hell?!" My voice cracked. "Somebody already looted it?!"
I waved my arms like a madman. "Do they not understand protagonist etiquette?! You leave the first clear to ME!"
The skeletons stared blankly, as if silently laughing.
Grinding my teeth, I lazily scanned the rest of the chamber. That's when I noticed a faint blue glow at the far corner—a magic circle inscribed into the floor. Runes pulsed lightly, still functional.
I crouched, studying it. "A teleporter?"
Beside it, a stone sign leaned at an angle, half-broken, scrawled with words so faded I could barely make them out. But one phrase was clear enough: [Get Out].
"So that's the exit." Relief loosened my chest.
For a long moment, I weighed my options. Outside meant monsters and it was already dark. Inside meant skeleton roommates who may or may not decide to strangle me in my sleep.
I chewed my lip, glancing between the glowing circle and the empty chest.
"…Yeah, no. I'm too tired to risk the forest tonight. Skeletons it is."
I unpacked a blanket, setting up my tiny fire with the last of my branches. The flames flickered weakly, shadows dancing across hollow eye sockets.
I pointed at one skull. "Don't even think about moving, buddy."
The skeleton didn't respond.
"…Good."
Dinner was a sad handful of berries and roasted mushrooms. My stomach groaned, but it was better than nothing. After forcing it down, I pulled the blanket around me and tried to ignore the empty sockets watching me.
I jolted awake, gasping. My hands shot to my throat. Still intact. I turned. The skeletons hadn't moved an inch.
"Still dead. Good job, everyone." I saluted them mockingly before packing my things.
Just before stepping into the teleporter, a small gap in the wall caught my eye. Vines draped over it, hiding a narrow passage.
"…Hidden room?"
Curiosity tugged too strongly to ignore. I pushed through the gap, brushing vines aside, until the path opened into a tiny chamber.
At the center stood another pedestal, topped with a broken crystal. Behind it, a fading mural stretched across the wall.
I squinted. The details were faint, worn with time, but I could make out a glowing crystal and three or four people kneeling beneath it.
"…That's it? A crystal worship fan club?"
I searched the room twice, hoping for a stash of gold or weapons. Nothing. Empty stone.
"AGHHHH! USELESS!" I shouted, kicking the pedestal. "Why does every 'treasure room' here feel like a scam?!"
"Seriously? Not even a rusty sword? I thought dungeons were supposed to cough up loot, not disappointment!"
Frustrated, I stormed back, stepped into the teleport circle, and a wash of blue light swallowed me.
The next instant, I was outside again, the forest stretching wide.
I exhaled. "Finally… fresh air."
But now came the hard part: direction.
I climbed a nearby tree, pulling myself up until the canopy opened. The distant mansion loomed far to my left.
I slapped my forehead. "All that time following the river like some genius survivalist… and it was dragging me farther from the mansion."
Calculating quickly, I groaned. "If I push it, I can reach the mansion in one, maybe one and a half days. If I don't get eaten by some monster."
Dropping down, I adjusted my satchel and started walking, muttering under my breath.
"Next dungeon better have loot. Otherwise, I'm writing a complaint to the gods."