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Chronic illnesses often inflict emotional damage on the partner of the one suffering.
Sario had heard nothing for four hours. He sat in the room they would bring Luca back to, alone in silence. Was this what being a husband was like? Was he going to always be the one making the hard decisions, the tough calls, and then waiting in painful suspense while his husband hung in the balance? He buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes fiercely and trying not to cry.
There was a tap on the half-open door that caused Sario to look up. Noah's boyfriend Camille was standing there, his blond angel curls pulled back from his face in a rare ponytail moment. "Hey," he said, his tone cautious like he was afraid he was overstepping. "Rowan wanted to come, but Darius forbade it cause he's over the baby's due date by two days, so I'm here instead. I hope that's okay."
Sario sniffed and nodded. "Yeah, that's okay." He hated how his voice caught in his throat.
Camille came in and half-sat on the windowsill. "You don't look like you're doing incredibly well."
"Thanks for noticing," Sario snarked.
Camille flinched. Oops. Sario had forgotten he could not speak to Camille like he did to Luca or Darius or even Rowan. Camille was like a small baby rabbit, flinching when people were sarcastic or raised their voices even a little bit. It triggered the trauma he was still struggling to work through. He stayed home a lot for that reason.
Feeling like a horrible human, Sario immediately apologized. "I'm sorry."
Camille gave a small nod. "I know you're dealing with a lot right now, but please don't take it out on me."
"I'm sorry," Sario apologized again. "I'm just so…" He swallowed hard and then admitted in a tiny voice, "scared."
"I'd be scared too if Noah had to have this kind of invasive surgery." Camille was not shaming him or mocking him. He was validating, empathizing. It felt so refreshing and soothing. "And although he'd never admit it, Noah would be scared too."
Sario narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out the point Camille was making.
Camille noticed his confusion and added quietly, "Marlowe's probably just as scared as you are, maybe more. He's probably afraid of the pain. He doesn't seem to like being babied or taken care of, so likely he's scared you're going to see him as weak when he can't do things for himself. But he needs someone to help him, and you're the only one whose head he won't immediately bite off." He shrugged. "Not to promise that he won't try. He probably will. He's prickly, but he'll be hurting. Hurt people raise their walls really high, and those walls only come down when they realize someone cares enough about them to not turn their back on their pain. I know it's a lot of pressure on you, but you're the only person in Marlowe's corner. Just don't let him push you out." Camille laughed softly. "Sorry. That was kind of a long speech."
Sario smiled. That long speech had actually made him feel a bit better. "No, you're good. I needed that. I just…I don't want to fail him. He hasn't said anything, not really, but I know that he's had other people fail him in the past, fail him in horrible, hurtful ways. I need to be better than that, and I'm scared whatever I do still won't be enough."
Camille carefully set a hand on Sario's shoulder. "You'll be fine. I mean, he married you, didn't he?"
"Yeah, but he could've been married in the past for all I know!" How had that intrusive thought just slipped out?
Camille raised an eyebrow. "You think he might've been married before?"
"He's 29! He could've been for all I know!" Sario tore his eyes away from Camille's concerned expression and stared at the empty spot where Luca's bed would go once the surgery was done. "He's admitted to having other sexual partners, though I don't know if it was casual or if he meant boyfriends or if he was implying ex-husband! And…and the damage in his body that this surgery's supposed to be fixing, Noah said it only comes from a violently induced miscarriage. What if he was married, got pregnant, and his husband abused him, causing him to lose the baby and leaving all this damage behind?" Sario sucked in a desperate breath. "I mean, I'd divorce somebody if they made me lose my baby. And I'd never, ever want to talk or think about it ever again. So maybe that's why he's not telling me."
"You're disaster hypothesizing," Camille interjected quietly. "You don't know if that's the case. You don't know anything other than what he's told you. As hard as it might be, trust him. Trust that he'll tell you the truth when he feels comfortable, and believe what he says when he does get up the courage to tell you. Don't make him think that you think he's lying or he's disgusting because of his past, whatever it may be. If he shuts down, be there for him. Telling the truth about trauma is never easy, believe me." After a long moment of silence, he offered, "I can stay here until Marlowe gets back, if you want. If not, I can leave. Either way's fine with me."
"Please stay." It did not feel like begging, even though Sario was desperate for distraction. It felt safe, like something one friend would offer another even though he had never really seen Camille as a friend. Their interactions up until this point had been rather limited, but Sario was glad to have someone so sympathetic nearby. The one thing Sario needed was peace, and Camille was radiating it right now. It was as close to perfect as it could get with Luca in surgery with no news as of yet.
There were a few minutes of light silence and then Noah pushed the door open and stepped into the room. His eyes were bloodshot, though he had appeared well rested about four hours ago. "Surgery's over," he reported. "It went well. With any luck, if the things we worked on heal properly, he should only need one more surgery." He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and pointer finger and then continued, "He's going be very hormonal while he recovers. You need to stick near him, release lots of calming and soothing pheromones, and, once the initial pain fades, get skin on skin with him as much as possible. No sex until about the one-month mark. After that, I would recommend doing it a couple times a week. It will help his body recalibrate."
Fuck. This situation was too good for Sario's misled and continuously horny brain. The only problem would be restraining himself during that one month Luca needed to recover. No, he could do this. His husband deserved a nice, calming rest, so that was what Sario would give him.
Noah was still talking. "And he will probably have bouts of the kind of pain that brought you guys into the hospital in the first place. Just do what we did. Knees up, feet down, heating pad on stomach. If that's not enough, you can give him ibuprofen. Not a lot, since he could get hooked on that rather quickly with his drug use habits. He'll be brought back to this room in about half an hour. We just need to closely monitor him for a few minutes after he wakes up from the anesthesia. Also," he added, "try and make sure he doesn't move too much or roll over or anything before he gets released."
Sario nodded and waved goodbye to Camille as the blond omega accompanied his boyfriend out of the room. He sat alone again, but it was only for a short time.
Like Noah had said, it was only about thirty minutes before a couple nurses wheeled the bed in, Luca surrounded by pillows and looking like he had just lost a battle with a truck. He looked so exhausted, so drained, and his brown hair was dark with sweat. But his eyes were open, and the fear in them receded when they found Sario. It might be a contract marriage, but Luca's whole body seemed to respond to Sario's presence as if they were actually in love.
Once the nurses had left, Sario approached the bed and set his hand on one of the pillows, easy for Luca to grab if he wanted to.
He wanted to. His cold fingers weakly wound their way in between Sario's warm digits, and he instantly seemed more at peace.
"How are you feeling?" Sario asked softly. "Other than like shit, obviously."
Luca flashed a tired smile. "I'd laugh, but it kinda hurts to breathe."
"Sorry. I'll try not to say funny things."
Luca rolled his eyes, and Sario had a feeling he would have opted for a smack if he had not just come out of surgery. "Don't change just for my sake. Besides, I'm sure I'll be miserable enough for both of us."
Sario smiled. "Is that your tsundere way of telling me that you want me to keep being funny?"
Luca scowled. "Just shut up."
Sario made the classic zipping motion across his lips and obediently shut up.
Luca turned his head on the pillow, obviously struggling to get comfortable, and closed his eyes after a minute. "Don't go anywhere," he muttered.
Sario grinned and held his hand a little tighter. He had sat for four hours. He could stand for four more if that was what Luca needed. He watched as Luca fell asleep, feeling almost like a parent watching over a child. He could not help the thought.
Luca was so small, so weak, so hurt right now that he might as well be a child. His long eyelashes rested on his flushed cheeks, his skin hot like that of a napping baby—like how Aiden's skin got when he was swaddled in a couple blankets.
Sario brushed fingertips lightly across Luca's forehead and then ran his fingers through the slightly sweaty hair. His heart clenched when Luca whined softly in his sleep and pushed his head into Sario's hand like a puppy begging for pets. With a smile, Sario obliged. He loved making Luca feel safe and comfortable. And if head petting was the best way to do that, that was what Sario would do.