Team Eleven returned to Konoha the same way they had left—through the massive gates, where the ever-bored guards greeted them out of habit. To pass, it was enough to show their unique shinobi numbers, which the trio did in sync and without the slightest tension. This time, everything went quietly: no drunk clients, no sudden ambushes from roadside ditches—so the journey back took only a single day.
The air in the village smelled familiar—fried flatbreads, fresh firewood, and morning dew. After the echoing forest trails, Konoha's noise cut at their ears, but it was also oddly pleasant: homes, people, safety.
"You can go rest, genin," Yamato said calmly as soon as they crossed the border. His voice was tired but firm. "I'll hand in the mission report myself."
"Wait, is that even allowed?" Karin immediately pushed her glasses up, as if ready to record a rule violation in her notebook. "By the book, if a mission undergoes as many changes as ours did, every member of the team has to file a report."
"I'm glad you remembered my lessons, Karin." The corners of Yamato's mouth twitched in a faint smile. "You're right: if a mission is bumped up by one rank, a full written report is required. And ours was bumped up by two."
"Then why are you going to the office alone?" Menma asked evenly, though inside an alarm bell was already ringing.
"Because you're still only genin," Yamato explained gently, "and I'm the commander. Responsibility for the mission lies with me. My report will be enough. By the way, Menma, hand me the scrolls with the bodies. I'll archive them, and later you'll get your payment."
[Oh, Yamato definitely wants to speak to the Hokage alone. Smells like some kind of conspiracy.]
"Of course, Yamato-sensei," Menma replied calmly aloud, handing over the scrolls.
"I expect the nickname 'Twin Demons' to be on everyone's lips in the village by next month," Naruko cut in, eyes burning as she stared at their teacher. "Otherwise, I'll be very, very disappointed. First thing I'll do is torch your favorite trees…"
She bared her beast-like fangs, and with her red hair and predatory glint in her eyes, she looked less like a little girl and more like a miniature devil ready to set half of Konoha on fire.
"I would never trick you!" Yamato threw up his hands, as if to shield himself from imaginary flames. "By tonight, your personal files will already show completion of an A-rank mission!"
And not tempting fate any further, the teacher hurried off toward the Hokage's tower at almost a jog. From a distance, he shouted back:
"Rest up! I'll find you tomorrow!"
Naruko instantly dropped her "demonic" mask, turning back into her usual mischievous, beaming self.
"Mass Shadow Clone Technique!" she roared across the street so her teammates would brace themselves for the arrival of seven clones. "Ladies, you know what to do!"
The clones saluted playfully in perfect sync and scattered through the village with excited shouts.
"Where'd you send them?" Menma asked lazily, though he already suspected the worst.
"To our friends!" Naruko narrowed her eyes slyly, her grin stretching ear to ear. "I want to brag about our first serious mission! Too bad Team Seven isn't in the village—they're probably out on assignment. I'm really gonna miss Sai today."
"I don't get what you see in him." Karin crossed her arms, her voice darkening. "He's weird. Pale, like he lives in a basement. Always rude. And that stupid, fake smile of his… infuriating!"
"That's exactly why I like him," Naruko winked carelessly. "Anyway, no time to chat. We need to greet our guests properly—feed them! I'm heading to Ichiraku!"
And before anyone could respond, she bolted forward, kicking up a whirlwind of dust behind her.
"Karin," Menma sighed, sounding drained, "please go with her. If nobody stops her, she'll order Uzuramen for the entire village."
Karin heaved a heavy sigh but nodded dutifully and rushed after her.
Menma stayed behind, standing in the street, watching the two girls disappear into the distance.
///
For the first time in a long while, Menma found himself in the Shinigami temple alone—without his two eternal companions, who usually either chatted nonstop or stirred up some kind of chaos. The silence of the ancient hall felt especially thick. Wasting no time on sentiment, he immediately descended into the hidden cellar next to the mask altar.
The damp air greeted him with the smell of old paper and stone. There lay scrolls containing Mito Uzumaki's writings, a dark slab carved with a message from the Sage of Six Paths, and endless layers of dust, as if even time itself had stopped visiting this place.
[Well… how many years has it been since I came down here? Five? More? I even had plans for a whole workshop, a secret lab for my ideas. No matter—we'll make up for it.]
He placed the hilt of the legendary sword on the dusty table, let his gaze linger on it for a moment, then turned toward the exit. Just in time—because only a minute later the familiar sound reached him from above: the bickering voices of his sister and Karin.
"How could you set the meeting for just an hour from now?!" Karin's outrage shook the walls.
"What's wrong with that?" Naruko asked lazily, her hands stuffed into her pockets.
"First of all!" Karin raised a finger, her glasses flashing. "We haven't even washed up after the trip. Second, you're introducing me to your friends, so I have to look flawless."
"But Karin-chan, you're stunning as you are," Naruko remarked serenely.
"Only a boy would say something like that!" Karin rolled her eyes. "Clearly the side effect of spending too much time with your brother. Fine, let's go."
"Uh… where?" Naruko faltered for the first time as Karin firmly grabbed her hand.
"To the place where pretty girls turn into gorgeous ones. The bathhouse!"
Summoning a dozen shadow clones, the girls locked themselves inside the bathroom, and soon loud splashing and shouted commands echoed from behind the door: "Faster, get that mask on!" and "Clone number three, don't forget the hair!" They were attempting the impossible—cramming a full spa marathon into a single hour.
Menma, a true minimalist, simply tossed his dusty clothes into the laundry basket and dumped water over himself from a barrel outside. Ten minutes was all he needed to become "presentable," and he was entirely satisfied with the result.
By the appointed time, punctual Hinata and Shino were the first to arrive. Soon after came Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji together with Kiba, and last—as always overly energetic—was Rock Lee.
Menma greeted them in his usual shorts and a plain T-shirt, expecting nothing more than a casual hangout. A little later, Karin and Naruko appeared in dresses, standing straighter and more self-assured after their hasty beauty marathon.
"Can you imagine?" Karin immediately began sharing her indignation with Ino and Hinata. "Naruko scheduled the meeting only an hour after we got back. One hour! Do you know what that's like?"
Ino gave Naruko the stern look of a fashion judge. Even gentle Hinata was watching her friend with a soft but unmistakable reproach.
"For violating all the laws of style," Ino declared solemnly, like a prosecutor delivering a sentence, "I hereby condemn you, Uzumaki Naruko, to three hours of intensive shopping."
"Ino-chan, not that!" Naruko dropped to her knees and raised her hands in theatrical despair. "I can't survive it!"
While the girls staged world-class drama, the boys' conversation was far simpler.
"Why'd you call us together?" Kiba asked, scratching Akamaru.
"To tell you about our first C-rank mission," Menma explained, as if offhand.
"Oh, cool," Kiba nodded.
"There'll be free food," Menma added.
"Even cooler," Choji gave an approving thumbs-up.
At that moment, Naruko suddenly dashed into the house and soon returned holding a cage. Inside sat a snow-white rabbit with red eyes and an utterly unimpressed expression.
"Meet my new best friend!" Naruko announced proudly. "Kaguya-chan!"
"She's adorable!" Ino instantly leaned closer to pet the white fur. "She needs a ribbon."
"Pink," Hinata added softly.
"No ribbons!" Naruko cut her off sharply, hugging the rabbit to her chest. "Kaguya-chan will be a fighter!"
She pointed at Akamaru, perched on Kiba's head, and declared with challenge in her voice:
"Tremble, Akamaru! Your future rival is growing strong!"
"Such words brim with the power of youth!" Rock Lee couldn't hold back, his eyes shining with passion. "Naruko-chan, you are magnificent!"
Akamaru barked furiously, ready to prove himself in battle right then and there. But Kaguya-chan, completely unfazed, kept slowly and blissfully gnawing her carrot. Her red eyes seemed to say: "What's up, Doc?"
That only enraged the pup further, forcing Kiba to hold him back.
[Yeah… I think I'm starting to get why my sister, who loves driving everyone crazy, likes this cheeky, unbothered rabbit so much.]
When Naruko's order from Ichiraku arrived, the table instantly filled with the aroma of broth and spices. She had memorized everyone's preferences and ordered perfectly: Choji got ramen with a triple portion of meat, Shikamaru his simple but hearty one, Ino seafood, Hinata a light sauce, and Shino with minimal spices (Naruko had figured his bugs probably couldn't stand anything too hot).
"Well then, tell us about the mission," Kiba said, already tearing into the meat and nearly dropping his noodles back into the bowl.
"We should probably start with our client's sheer idiocy," Menma began calmly, leaning on the table.
The story they told together: Menma dry and ironic, Naruko with theatrical gestures and exaggerations, and Karin adding facts and details so the "story would sound more convincing."
Half the room was doubled over with laughter when Menma described Gato's army as "a collection of clowns armed with random household junk and their own stupidity." Choji nearly choked on his noodles, Shikamaru almost collapsed onto the table from laughing, even Ino snorted, covering her mouth with her hand. Only Lee sat frowning in deep thought:
"I don't understand… What's funny about wearing a fur hat in summer? That's a harsh test of one's spirit!"
"Lee, it's too soon for you to understand," Menma sighed.
[Some truths only reveal themselves through personal heatstroke.]
Once the laughter died down a little, Shikamaru narrowed his eyes.
"Funny, sure. But the part about your enemies is way too much. If a Mist swordsman was involved, that already screams 'tall tale.'"
"What?" Naruko blinked, genuinely surprised.
"This sounds like the usual stories," Shino said in his flat tone. "Genin always like to embellish their first missions, claiming they fought some dangerous missing-nin and barely survived."
"Wasn't it like that for you?" Naruko squinted at him.
"No, Naruko-chan," Hinata said softly but firmly. "We just escorted a merchant. It was peaceful."
"Same for us," Choji admitted, looking away.
Naruko turned her eyes to Rock Lee, as if searching for support, but he only spread his hands.
"All right, all right, you'll have proof," Menma said calmly. "My personal record already shows we completed an A-rank mission. I think that's weighty enough."
"That will serve as acceptable proof," Shino concluded, and everyone nodded, acknowledging the fairness of it.
"You're seriously going to check?!" Kiba exploded. "It's obviously fake! And there's no such thing as an 'Uzumaki Bridge'!"
"Kiba-kun," Naruko cooed sweetly, her voice dripping like honey, "I just came up with a great prank. Want me to show you?"
"M-Maybe don't…" Kiba instantly paled. "I never said you were lying! That's not what I meant at all!"
"Too late," Naruko grinned predatorily. "Just. Stand. Still."
"HINATA!" Kiba ducked behind his teammate's back. "Protect me!"
Ino snorted into her fist, the others burst out laughing. The temple filled with cheer, and the evening turned into a proper noisy Uzumaki-style party.
///
Meanwhile, in the Hokage's tower, the atmosphere was entirely different. The office was thick with pipe smoke. Hiruzen, unhurried, held a mission report scroll in one hand and his favorite pipe in the other.
"An amusing adventure," he chuckled, rolling up the scroll. "My student could write a whole book about it. But… this isn't what I expected."
"My fault, Hokage-sama," Yamato knelt on one knee, head bowed. His voice was hollow. "I underestimated the jinchuriki's willpower. I thought their first kill would shake them. They were shaken, but they recovered far too quickly."
"Exactly," Hiruzen exhaled grimly, sending a smoke ring toward the ceiling. "This mission was supposed to knock the hunger for heroics out of them. Instead, they came back even more confident, even more defiant. Mark my words, Yamato—by tomorrow they'll be demanding another mission outside the village."
"Perhaps…" Yamato began cautiously. "Perhaps we should arrange another 'chance encounter' with missing-nin. This time, ones we can control. I believe if Karin were injured, she'd never leave Konoha again, and the twins would stay bound to her."
"Enough," Hiruzen cut him off sharply, his voice like steel. "They've had their fill of heroics. Any more, and they might start to get used to it."
He drew on his pipe again, his eyes flashing with cold resolve.
"They'll get their C-rank mission. The most ordinary. The safest. The dullest. And then a dozen more just like it, until every illusion of glory and adventure is beaten out of their heads."