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Chapter 67 - Arcane Solutions: Shop-Chapter 67: Stupid Dog?! Snivellus

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"By the way," Gemini said, breaking the tense silence with diplomatic grace, "Coby mentioned you have a gift for me, Professor?"

Snape shifted uncomfortably in his frame, clearly wrestling with some internal conflict. "I recall you possess one of those Muggle communication devices—the kind that captures images?"

Gemini nodded, mystified. "My phone? Yes, it has a camera. Why?"

Without explanation, Snape pressed a folded parchment against the front of his portrait, turning his head away with characteristic disdain. "Photograph this. Quickly."

Gemini fumbled for her phone, her hands trembling slightly as she maneuvered to capture only the document's contents. She was acutely aware that this portrait couldn't move—if Snape later discovered she'd accidentally included him in the image, her life wouldn't be worth living.

"There, Professor!" Gemini examined the photo on her screen, and her breath caught. "This is... this is your improved Felix Felicis formula?!"

Snape methodically refolded the parchment, his movements precise despite his obvious discomfort. "Something I perfected during my... corporeal years. No student ever proved worthy of such knowledge." His black eyes fixed on her with surprising intensity. "Now that I exist merely as pigment and canvas, I suppose it serves no purpose gathering dust in my memory. You operate a commercial establishment—you'll need something exceptional to distinguish yourself from common merchants."

His voice took on its familiar warning edge. "Though you must brew it yourself, naturally. Should I discover you've destroyed any cauldrons in the process, you'll spend your evenings copying incorrect potion procedures until your fingers bleed."

Gemini hunched her shoulders guiltily, immediately thinking of the several cauldrons that had met explosive ends under Tony's enthusiastic "assistance." Mental note: destroy all evidence.

"Ah, how fascinating," Snape continued, his attention shifting with predatory focus. "Potter's contribution to the festivities. Do enlighten us, Potter—what magnificent offering has the Chosen One bestowed? Please tell me it's not some Weasley confection or juvenile prank device."

Harry looked like a scolded puppy, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly. How could he argue with a portrait? Especially one that would undoubtedly win any verbal sparring match.

Gemini bit back a laugh, carefully unwrapping Harry's gift to reveal an ornate metal box decorated in brilliant gold and crimson.

Both Snape and Gemini recoiled as if struck. The color scheme was so aggressively Gryffindor it practically screamed defiance at their Slytherin sensibilities.

"That design looks familiar," Gemini murmured, studying the device with growing recognition.

Harry bounced with nervous enthusiasm. "Press this button here—the activation switch is right on the side!"

The word "switch" triggered Gemini's memory. This was identical to the resurrection device Tony had created for Fred—but who could this possibly contain? No one in her circle had died recently.

She pressed the activation button and glanced upward, grateful that Fred's device remained intact upstairs for reference.

Harry suddenly smacked his forehead in horror. "Oh, Merlin! I forgot to install the personality stabilizers! Can we shut it down?" He clutched several loose components, spinning in panicked circles.

Before Gemini could respond, streams of golden light erupted from the device, weaving together in complex patterns. Harry watched the rapidly forming figure with growing dread, the unused components heavy in his hands.

The holographic projection solidified, revealing a man whose features bore an unmistakable resemblance to Gemini—the same aristocratic bone structure, the same piercing gray eyes, though his were filled with confusion rather than her usual calculating intelligence.

He blinked, focusing on the young woman before him. "Who are you?"

"Stupid dog?!" Gemini gasped.

"Snivellus!" The figure spun with fluid grace, his attention immediately drawn to the portrait behind him. Recognition and fury blazed across his features in equal measure.

"Sirius Black," Snape observed with silky malice, "how delightfully... diminished you appear."

Sirius threw back his head and laughed with manic glee. "A portrait! You actually became a bloody portrait! Who managed that miracle? I need to send them flowers!" He clutched his translucent stomach, tears of mirth streaming down his face.

Snape's expression could have curdled milk. "How amusing. At least I'm not some Muggle technological abomination."

"What are you—" Sirius stopped mid-sentence, staring at his semi-transparent hands with dawning horror. His gaze swept the room before settling on Harry. "James? No... you're older. Harry?"

Harry's eyes filled with tears as he nodded frantically. "Yes! It's me—it's really me! And this is your daughter!"

He grabbed the shell-shocked Gemini and practically thrust her toward the projection.

"Daughter?" Sirius looked as if someone had told him he'd been elected Minister of Magic. "Mine? Are you absolutely certain she's mine?!"

Gemini's face darkened to match Snape's portrait. She should never have allowed herself to hope. Professor Snape had been right—the man was a complete fool.

Harry realized his catastrophic error too late. He'd been so focused on giving Gemini the father she'd never known that he'd forgotten Sirius's talent for saying exactly the wrong thing at the worst possible moment.

"No, no, that's not what I meant!" Sirius backpedaled frantically. "I just... I had no idea I had a daughter! Who's your mother? Lisa? Martha? Sarah?" He moved toward her hesitantly, as if approaching a dangerous animal.

Gemini's expression grew positively arctic. "I'm well aware that my mother was nothing more than a one-night stand to you. But your social calendar was apparently so packed that you can't even remember which conquest produced offspring?"

Sirius wisely fell silent, sensing the murderous aura radiating from the young woman who was apparently his child.

Snape chuckled with genuine amusement. "Don't distress yourself, Gemini. You've grown into a remarkable young woman without this particular genetic contributor's influence."

"Snivellus!" Sirius snarled, his attention snapping back to his eternal nemesis. "Since when do you involve yourself in Black family affairs?"

"Since one of them demonstrated actual intelligence," Snape replied smoothly. "A trait conspicuously absent in her paternal lineage."

"You greasy-haired git!"

"Mangy mutt."

The insults flew with practiced precision, escalating from personal attacks to creative threats involving each other's ancestry. The small parlor echoed with their verbal warfare.

Gemini sat motionless on the sofa, her smile sharp enough to cut glass. "Thank you, Harry. What a truly... memorable surprise."

Harry felt his face muscles cramping from his frozen grimace. "I had no idea Professor Snape's portrait was here. The timing is rather... unfortunate."

Gemini watched the two men progress to questioning each other's legitimacy and species classification. Her patience finally snapped.

"ENOUGH!"

The word cracked through the air like a whip. Both Snape and Sirius fell silent instantly, though they continued glaring at each other with homicidal intensity.

Gemini rose gracefully, her smile never wavering. "Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me for just a moment."

She glided to her study with predatory calm. The sounds of purposeful activity—drawers opening, objects being moved, magical implements being arranged—drifted through the door. When she emerged, her expression remained serenely pleasant.

With surgical precision, she deactivated Sirius's projection, draped Snape's portrait in black cloth, and systematically removed every camera and monitoring device from the room. Coby appeared to assist with the relocation, while Harry followed at a safe distance, recognizing the signs of Gemini's truly dangerous moods.

In the study, she'd prepared a specially modified containment box—just large enough to house a portrait and its accompanying holographic projector. She positioned Snape's frame against one wall of the box, installed Sirius's device on the opposite side, and carefully arranged the activation controls.

With theatrical flourish, she removed the black cloth and reactivated Sirius's projection. Both men found themselves confined to a space roughly thirty centimeters square, face to face with their most despised enemy.

"Gentlemen," Gemini announced with angelic sweetness, "I imagine it's been far too long since you've had the opportunity for proper conversation. This room features excellent soundproofing, so please don't restrain yourselves on my account."

Harry shivered at the doorway, recognizing the particular tone that meant someone was about to suffer creatively.

"I typically visit this room once weekly for inventory purposes," she continued conversationally. "Do try not to let my brief appearances interrupt your... reunion."

She curtsied with mock formality, tapped the containment box with her wand—undoubtedly adding additional security measures—and swept from the room.

The door closed with a soft, final click.

From within the study came an immediate explosion of renewed hostilities, muffled but unmistakably violent in tone.

Gemini dusted off her hands with satisfaction. "Now then, Harry—shall we continue with the rest of Christmas morning? I believe there are still presents to unwrap."

Harry stared at the closed door, then at Gemini's serene expression, and decided that perhaps Sirius and Snape deserved each other after all.

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