We thought the "black-tech arms expo" at the abandoned airport was already absurd enough. But fate, as usual, refused to let us off easy. It always likes to add a cruel little comma after the word survival.
The convoy rolled down a broken highway, the sky as gray as if someone had taken an eraser to it. The air stank of burnt plastic and ash. Erin was hunched over her data terminal, trying to analyze the makeup of those nightmare soldiers. I lounged in the back seat, attempting a nap.
"You can actually sleep?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Sweetheart, I've already died once," I yawned. "Sleep's like a prepaid card for me — swipe whenever I feel like it."
The words had barely left my mouth when the road ahead erupted. A massive shockwave flipped the lead vehicle, fire blooming and tearing the night apart. Our driver slammed the brakes; the car spun sideways, skidding perilously close to the ditch.
"Ambush!" Erin shouted.
"Oh, fantastic." I clapped sarcastically. "Airport horror, now highway horror — this mission package really gives value for money."
Gunfire cracked through the darkness. Crimson laser dots danced on us, and shadows surged closer — dozens of them. Not ordinary men. Their movements were twisted, disciplined yet unnatural, like nightmares fused with a special forces squad.
"Hybrid soldiers," Erin spat. "They've started mass production."
"Mass production, huh? Guess that means their resale value's plummeted." I lifted my gun, muzzle flashing black fire. "Let's hit them right in the wallet!"
Chaos detonated around us. Bullets and nightmare energy tangled in the night sky, turning the highway into a war zone. The enemy fought with cold precision, but under it all pulsed a mad frenzy. Every time one fell, black mist leaked out, drifting away like shards of souls mocking us.
I kept firing, muttering between shots: "You know what this feels like? Like someone turned the apocalypse into a same-day delivery service. And tonight's courier is definitely working overtime."
Erin rolled to dodge an exploding round, gasping as she fired back. "Less jokes, more fire!"
Before we could stabilize, a black armored vehicle roared into view, symbols of nightmare energy etched across its body. It looked less like a machine, more like a beast charging down the road.
"Great. They brought toys." I gave a weary laugh. "Knew it — villains never settle for normal rides."
The cannon on its roof flared, loosing a lance of black light. It slammed into the car behind us. In an instant, the vehicle became a fireball, screams drowned in the explosion.
Erin's face hardened. I just sighed. "Good news — we won't have to worry about writing reports anymore. Nobody's counting corpses tonight. Bad news — we'll probably be the next statistic."
The darkness closed in as enemies pressed forward. What was left of our convoy clustered together, backs to each other, ready to make a last stand.
I licked my cracked lips, grinned, and muttered to myself:"If this is what passes for diplomatic hospitality… I'd really like to file a complaint. Shame the hotline's probably been eaten by nightmare energy too."