"Of course, Mr. Dursley," the man called Jelloth replied with a squinting smile. "Just wait a moment."
What Dudley wanted was a cat—specifically, a cat with magical creature blood.
In the wizarding world, there were two well-known magical felines. The first was the Japanese Nekomata, which looked like an ordinary cat most of the time but could grow massive and destructive when agitated, its telltale feature being a forked tail. The other was the American Wampus Cat, far more dangerous with a XXXXX classification, matching the likes of dragons or basilisks. Resembling a cougar or jaguar, it could walk upright, run faster than an arrow, and was rumored to have hypnotic eyes capable of Legilimency. Most alarmingly, when struck with a lethal blow, a Wampus Cat could split, dividing from one into two, two into four, practically unkillable.
But Jelloth clearly wasn't offering either of those. Selling dangerous creatures like Nekomata or Wampus Cats openly in England? That was a one-way ticket to Azkaban.
Soon, Jelloth returned from a side door of the pet shop, carrying a cradle. Inside was a sleeping kitten, which he placed in front of Dudley.
"This one has some Kneazle blood and a bit of unknown magical creature lineage," Jelloth explained. "Most importantly, it's incredibly clever. I think it's exactly the kind of pet you're looking for."
It was a fluffy orange kitten—or rather, its chubby round belly made it look like one of those stereotypical fat orange tabbies. In truth, it was more of a red Persian with long, glossy fur that shone with health. But its face was squashed flat, as if it had once barreled headfirst into a wall, and its tail was thick and bristly, like a bottlebrush.
Those traits didn't exactly scream "cute."
Dudley didn't mind, but he had to ask, "Jelloth, you're not trying to offload some unsellable cat on me, are you?"
Jelloth's smile grew strained. "Wh-what? Of course not!"
But Dudley had hit the nail on the head. This kitten, despite its intelligence and magical lineage, was a tough sell because of its looks. Wizards, it seemed, cared more about a pet's appearance than its bloodline.
If Dudley hadn't specifically asked for a magical creature, Jelloth wouldn't have even considered this one.
"Kidding, Jelloth. I'll take him," Dudley said with a grin.
Jelloth let out a relieved sigh.
Dudley promptly handed over a handful of Galleons to cover the cost. "What's its name?"
"Crookshanks," Jelloth replied. "But it's smart enough to learn a new name if you give it one."
At that moment, the kitten stirred, twitching its ears and slowly opening its eyes. It didn't fuss, just gazed at Dudley with curiosity. It looked rather well-behaved—if you ignored the flat face.
"Hey, you my new keeper?" The kitten's meows rang out, but to Dudley, they translated into words.
Magical creature language. It really did have magical blood.
"Seems smarter than that idiot Jelloth," Crookshanks added, circling Dudley and meowing again.
Jelloth, oblivious, beamed. "Look, Mr. Dursley! It's greeting you! It's taken a liking to you!"
"No, it's not greeting me. It's insulting you," Dudley thought, ignoring Jelloth's enthusiasm.
"Hey, keeper, don't you think I look a bit plain? I reckon I need some style. A pair of boots, a belt, maybe a hat…" Crookshanks kept meowing, chattering like it couldn't stop.
Dudley's face twitched with amusement. Boots? A cat in boots?
An idea struck him. "Oh, Jelloth, could you spruce it up a bit?" he asked, pointing at Crookshanks.
The kitten's eyes lit up. "Aha, new keeper, you've got an eye for style! You know I need a proper look!"
A short while later, Dudley left the pet shop carrying a newly decorated basket. Crookshanks sat inside, looking thoroughly unimpressed. No boots, no hat—just a giant red bow tied around it. If it was a gift, how could it not have a bow?
Dudley soon found Hermione at Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, trying on a robe. "Happy birthday," he said with a grin, handing her the basket with Crookshanks.
Crookshanks meowed twice. "Alright, you're my real keeper. Hope you're smarter than the big guy."
Hermione's face lit up with a sweet smile. She didn't care about the kitten's shedding fur and scooped it into her arms. She was clearly a cat person.
"What's its name?" she asked excitedly.
"Meow-Meow Freak," Dudley said without missing a beat.
"That's awful! Crookshanks is way better!" Crookshanks yowled, swiping at the air in protest.
"Er, that name…" Hermione tried to find something nice to say but came up short. "Okay, let's stick with Crookshanks. Though I think 'Boss Cat' would be cool too."
"Boss Cat's not bad," Crookshanks meowed, but only Dudley could understand.
"Dudley, aren't you fluent in cat-speak? What's it saying?" Hermione asked.
Crookshanks' eyes widened, staring at Dudley as if to say, You can understand me?
"It says it loves the name Meow-Meow Freak," Dudley lied with a straight face.
"Liar!" Crookshanks yowled in protest.
"Look how happy it is," Dudley said, pointing at the flailing kitten.
"Er, I don't think it's happy," Hermione said skeptically.
In the end, Crookshanks kept its original name. Meow-Meow Freak was just too much.
"Oh, Dudley, there's something I want to talk about," Hermione said, cradling Crookshanks. She pulled out a densely packed timetable and looked at him seriously. "Do you think I should take this many classes?"
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