To Ben's surprise, he didn't take the usual route back to his own dorm. Instead, he silently fell into step beside Ben.
"Isn't your dorm the other way?" Ben asked cautiously.
Sean nodded. "I have some family work on this side."
"Oh." Ben didn't push.
Sean pulled out his cellphone, thumbing through it with his usual detached focus. Ben, despite himself, leaned over for a peek and nearly laughed out loud. The screen was filled with pictures of coffee beans, café interiors, lattes with intricate foam art, and the names of drinks that sounded more like spells than beverages.
"Hyung," Ben said, brows climbing, "are you some kind of coffee enthusiast or something?"
Sean didn't even look up. "No."
The reply was so flat that Ben had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from snorting.
Okay, conversation over.
Except if he let his brain wander, it'd go straight back to Daniel, and that was not safe territory. So he scrambled for a distraction.
"You said you like Idol music and dance," Ben tried again. "Why didn't you ever think about becoming an idol?"
This time, Sean's scrolling slowed. His thumb hovered over the screen. He gave a soft sigh and said in his usual blunt tone, "I don't have the voice for it. And I have stage fright."
Ben blinked. "Oh."
That tracks. Sean did look pale and clammy before going on stage in both the second and third rounds of the NDC. But Ben hadn't expected him to be so candid about his own weakness. Sean was reserved and rarely offered pieces of himself, so it was always a mild surprise when he shared anything remotely personal.
Ben sneaked a peek at Sean, who was quietly scrolling. He was always fascinated by Sean's commitment to saying absolutely nothing. When he did speak, it was with such blunt honesty that it felt less like conversation and more like a public service announcement.
A mix of curiosity and poor judgment nudged Ben to ask before he could stop himself. "I wonder, hyung, were you always this introverted? Or is it like a lifestyle choice?"
Sean finally lifted his gaze. His dark, unreadable eyes studied Ben, as if weighing whether he was joking. After a pause, he countered, "Aren't you an introvert too?"
Ben chuckled. "Yeah, sure. But nothing like you."
Sean exhaled and shrugged, like the whole thing wasn't worth more than a breath. "I just prefer to listen rather than talk."
Ben tilted his head, trying again. "That probably makes you popular with women." He paused before asking with mock casualness, "Have you dated before?"
Sean's expression didn't budge, but a faint line appeared between his brows. "Not exactly."
Ben snorted. "That's not an answer."
Another short silence, before Sean said, flat as ever, "I was the only one who liked her."
Ben nearly tripped over his own feet. He'd expected Sean to either clam up or deflect, not hand him a one-liner that felt like a punch in the gut.
"She… rejected you?" he asked carefully.
Sean's face didn't change much, but there was a faint shadow now. He just nodded once.
Ben went quiet. So, Sean knew what it was like to want someone you couldn't have. For him, it was Daniel. For Sean, some faceless "her" who had turned him down. Different circumstances, but the same sting underneath and the same inability to talk about it with anyone else.
Sean's unexpected confession made Ben wonder if he should ask him about his own mess. Ben toyed with the question on his tongue. For a moment, he thought he'd keep it to himself, but the silence nudged him forward, and before he could change his mind, the words slipped out:
"Hyung, what did you do when you realised you liked someone who wouldn't like you back?"
Sean paused mid-step.
Ben watched him, heart pounding.
Sean turned to him, eyes narrowed slightly. "Why do you ask?"
"It's hypothetical," Ben said too quickly. He forced a shrug, trying to sound casual. "I just wondered, what if you liked someone you weren't supposed to?"
Sean didn't buy it. Instead, he asked evenly, "Are they unavailable?"
Ben bit his lip. Sean knew this wasn't some throwaway question. But Ben had already said too much to retreat.
He shook his head. "No. They're single. It's just… complicated."
Sean held his gaze for a long moment, as if weighing the question. Slowly, he turned and resumed his pace, as he said softly, "I'd confess anyway."
Ben blinked. "Huh?"
Sean's voice didn't change, still calm and matter-of-fact. "Why decide it's impossible before even trying? Regret sucks more than rejection. So if I liked someone, I'd just tell them."
Ben didn't say anything for a while. He let those words sink in. Sean didn't know how complicated his situation was. He didn't know that his feelings were curled up around someone who danced like a storm and shone like a star.
But still, he was right.
Regret did suck.