After several more painful minutes that seemed to pass like hours, the food was finally finished. Jaemin insisted on doing the dishes alone, pretending the chore was penance, when really it was an excuse to take refuge in his kitchen. He worked in a silent fury, the familiar, sharp scent of citrus-scented dish soap a small comfort against the lingering tension.
When he was halfway through, Junho wandered in. His usual playful demeanor was gone, replaced by a serious concern as he stood beside Jaemin at the sink without speaking for a few moments, before finally quietly asking, "Hyung. Are you okay?"
Jaemin tried not to sigh. "Yeah. I'm fine, Junho. How have you and Jina been? I'm sorry I didn't call you more often. Things have been a bit mad here."
"We're doing alright." Junho grabbed a drying cloth and took a wet dish from Jaemin's hand. "I'm sorry we sprung ourselves on you, Hyung. Up until we were at your doorstep, Omma kept insisting that she told you weeks ago, and that you said yes. I have no idea whether she really forgot, or if she was just being cunning about it."
Jaemin shook his head, the sigh escaping his lips. "It's alright, I know it wasn't you who suggested this. I just… This isn't a great time for you guys to be here."
Junho nodded. "The ruckus all over the media. We know about all of it, actually. A neighbour bustled in one day and showed Omma some of it. She and Appa have been worried sick, but they didn't know how to ask you. Jina and I overheard them drafting messages to you together."
Jaemin shrugged wearily. "I must have missed it, if they ever sent it. Sorry." He sighed again as he recalled what happened earlier. "He just… can't stop bringing up the past, and… I can't stand him always using that against me."
"He still thinks about what happened with you back then," Junho said, his voice a soft murmur of comfort. "Now, with all the articles, the gossip targeting you… He's just trying to protect you."
"I'm sick of his protection." The words were out before Jaemin could stop himself. "All he ever did was build a cage and call it a home, and then he's surprised when I wanted to fly away."
Junho kept quiet, neither agreeing nor denying it. He looked at his older brother, his expression filled with a quiet understanding.
After a beat, Jaemin sighed, wishing he hadn't lashed out at his youngest sibling like that, even more so after he had used him as a barb against his father in their earlier fight. "I'm sorry," he sighed. Then, more gently, he continued, "Anyway, the media will be the way it is. Kang Do-hyun-ssi and I have the situation under control."
Junho paused, a thoughtful look on his face. "Kang Do-hyun-ssi?" he asked, a knowing grin beginning to spread across his face. "Do you mean the tall, handsome guy who brought you oxtail soup?" He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Your boyfriend?"
A wave of dread crept up Jaemin's spine, but he forced himself to stay calm. "What are you talking about? Kang Do-hyun-ssi is my co-worker."
Junho laughed softly, but he was having none of it. "Hyung, please," he cut through the pretense without hesitation. "He may really be your colleague from the orchestra, but it's pretty clear that's not all he is to you. Even though we haven't seen you in some time, I'm still pretty good at reading people."
When Jaemin didn't respond, hoping to prove his innocence through silence, Junho continued.
"Besides, I saw an extra pair of shoes by the door which are definitely not your size. Also, your closet has a couple of shirts that are way too big for you. I bet twenty bucks that they fit Do-hyun-ssi like a glove though. They even carry the same smell."
Jaemin froze, a different sort of panic rising up and making his heart thump wildly in his chest. "The same… smell?"
"Yeah, it's very earthy…" Junho hummed, thinking. "Or, actually, more like a forest… Cedar?" He turned to Jaemin, who had turned very pale. "Hyung?"
Jaemin didn't respond, his hands unmoving under the running faucet. The hot water was rapidly turning his skin red, but the sensation didn't register as he stared unseeingly at the reflection of his own fear in the dishwater.
Concern building, Junho reached over to turn it off. "Hyung?" he asked again softly, voice worried.
At last, Jaemin turned to him. "Please tell me that you didn't present a secondary gender, Junho. Or, if you really did, that you didn't tell Abeoji or Omma."
The younger man started back. "What? No! Nononono, it's not like that, Hyung! I'm definitely a beta, definitely a beta!"
"Then how are you able to sense pheromones??" Jaemin demanded frantically.
"Oh, that." His brother's expression turned sheepish. "Uh… actually, I… I've been seeing someone…"
When Jaemin stayed quiet, pale and waiting, he continued to explain hesitantly.
"She's… an omega, so, being around her so often, I've kind of learned to sense… and she kind of taught me how to, as well, so… I guess I've got a pretty good sense of smell?"
He held up his hands in a helpless shrug, then suddenly rushed to explain, "It's actually really easy if you know what you're looking for, I mean, smelling…? for…? I mean, it's usually botanicals anyway, or natural elements, from what I can gather. Stuff we've all been exposed to, just that nobody really bothers to take note."
"Right." Jaemin's shoulders sagged in relief. He slumped against the sink, trying to slow his heart. "Okay… So… what scent do you smell, from your partner?"
Junho smiled shyly. "Honeysuckle. Wild, sweet, a little untamed. Just like she is, sometimes. And it fluctuates a little, with her mood."
Seeing the happiness in his smile made Jaemin's heart ache. "And… mine?"
Junho's answer didn't miss a beat. "Cherry blossoms. But… they were pretty raw tonight."
Jaemin sighed. "I don't think Abeoji would have taken it very well if his other son had also presented a secondary gender, especially if you turned out to be an omega, too."
"Actually…" Junho's hesitation now was a stark contrast to the confidence he'd just displayed. "There was so much that I learnt, that I've been learning, about her. About omegas. And… I feel like there was so much that we never really knew about you, Hyung. All the things you must have gone through, on your own."
He looked up at Jaemin, soft brown eyes full of sorrow. "I'm so, so sorry we weren't there for you, Hyung. We just… didn't know how. We didn't know anything."
Throat tight, Jaemin stared at him, unable to speak. He knew that if he tried to, now, he would break down completely.
Deciding to push his luck, Junho added, "Appa—Abeoji really is trying. He's just scared for you, you know? He just… doesn't know what to do."
To that, Jaemin managed to respond with a grunt.
The younger man's eyes softened, and he bumped his shoulder gently into Jaemin's. "For what it's worth, Hyung, I'm actually really glad you have somebody here to look out for you." He smiled ruefully. "Especially someone who so considerately buys you oxtail stew in the middle of the night…"
That brought Jaemin's voice right back. "Why do you all keep saying that?? It wasn't the middle of the night, it was a perfectly normal time to have dinner…"
Even as he gruffly corrected Junho with amused annoyance, a rush of relief, so potent that it felt like a physical ache in his chest, washed over him. When he looked up at his younger brother again, his amber gaze was much calmer and gentler than before.
"You really liked that soup, huh?" When Junho nodded, he smiled. "Me too. I'll bring you guys there someday before you leave. They offer a free refill when you dine in."
As Junho whooped and danced his way out of the kitchen, Jaemin finally let himself be still. Taking a deep breath, he leaned quietly against the counter and closed his eyes for a moment.
He really shouldn't have allowed himself to get tilted like that today. It's just that he'd been caught off guard by his mother's call, and the fact that he'd had to deal with his family, his father, being very suddenly and very much HERE, invading the space he'd claimed as his own without giving him any time for any sort of mental preparation.
And in his confusion, he'd pushed Do-hyun away, when all the man had tried to do was bring him dinner and make sure he was safe.
The soft floral scent of his own cherry blossoms, muted and tired, mingled with the faint cedar scent that Do-hyun had imprinted in the apartment. The smell of them, together with the memory of his constant presence in the last few days, was an anchor that finally grounded him for the first time that night.
He had to explain to Do-hyun. He couldn't let the events of the evening linger in the air between them. If anything, they had made one thing crystal clear: his parents might not be ready for the full truth of who he was, but Do-hyun had only ever done his best to care for him and make him feel safe.
Kang Do-hyun needed to know. He deserved nothing less.
But tomorrow held tomorrow's problems.