His fingers are touching my thighs, but his eyes hold no emotion for me to tell his thoughts. It’s unusual.

“Cassian?” I press my hands on his chest, but not in a way to resist him, but to feel his heart’s rhythm.

“I told you it's all about the primal instinct,” he says, bringing his lips to touch mine.

My hands let go off his chest as our lips touch, our tongue having a taste of each other. It feels different, not like it used to be.

He withdraws himself from me, and our eyes are locked to each other.

I have so many questions to ask him, but his eyes on me seem to answer them. His face… he was the werewolf who'd stood beside them, and had chased me out of my home.

“It's true… Cassian, it’s true…” My voice is shaky as I step back from him.

“What's that about?” He asks, feigning ignorance of what I mean.

“My parents… you killed them… you stood beside their bodies!”

********************************************************

Things took a shift after Liam's betrayal of selling me out to Alpha Cassian. It awoke every thought and trauma I'd buried within me, having them come alive to haunt me.

Cassian wanted my essence for his curse, to perform a bloodshroud that was supposed to be his cure and the end of me. But he didn't go on with it. Strangely, he called me his mate. How was that even possible since I was a human and he was a werewolf?

I’d thought a human like me couldn't become a werewolf, but Cassian wouldn't let go of his claim.

I felt darkness and chaos around him, but soon, I started to fall for him. I wanted to keep everything behind me even though the memory of my parents’ death still haunted me.

But at the new leaf I was about to turn, I discovered Cassian must have killed my parents, soaked himself with their blood, and chased me out of my home.

How was I supposed to go on with this revelation?

We've gone over this countless times in just these moments, going back and forth, finding loopholes in my decision.


I don't even know if I should call it a decision, because even if I tell Velora it's my choice, I still have doubts. It's conflicting in me—something deep inside wants me to go with the flow, but another feeling doesn't want me to.


But I can't choose a path in any of these.


If I choose one, then I betray the other. But none of them seem worthy of betrayal.


"I know what I feel," I say. "And I've been… I've been suppressing it…"


I shouldn't admit to that. I don't nod, I don't shake my head.


Her eyes glisten, and I notice the wetness there. I thought this was a matter of choice—my choice and my cross to bear—so why does she make it look as though I'm deciding for her?


"It's all because I believe a connection exists between us. I'm tired of denying it."


Chapter 45 - A decision she can't trust