Need a guy to disable a whale shark with one hit? Maybe you need someone to accurately tell you how far the nearest city is based on the chariot marks on the sand—listen, I'm your guy for all of that, but lying? As you guys know, I'm the worst damn liar on the planet.
When I was a kid, I could never skip school without my mom wringing it out of me the second I got home. Before I left middle school, there was a running bet to see what would happen first: my first successful excuse for not doing homework, or Nancy Bobofit finding a date to the winter dance.
I wasn't winning.
Three months into the year, every teacher I had shut down any reason I gave for missing homework—even the ones that were legitimate, but Nancy, on the other hand, had managed to get a date. It was her cousin…but we never added that clause to the original bet.
All of the other tests, I'll admit, seemed harder on paper. There was fighting, sneaking around, climbing, running, err, seduction, and conditioning. You name it, over this past week, I've done it. Having the game made them all easy, though. If anything, these days felt more like level grinding than anything else. I was itching for some real action.
"Hello, there. My chariot broke down in front of your tavern, and I was hoping you could lend me a hand in fixing it."
"Not buying it," Delta shut me down, almost instantly. "Again."
It'd been the same thing for a while. Delta and I sit in a room, he gives me a general situation, and I have to find possible ways I could lie. Small ways I could twist potentially ambiguous parts of the situation to my favor, whether it's to acquire a favor or information.
For example, let's say he gives me the situation of being in an ice cream shop. I could say "oh, hi, I'm actually allergic to ice cream," in an attempt to gain information about their menu, or "I'm looking for a frozen yogurt place," to gain information on the layout of the city I'm hypothetically in, but he'll just shake his head and tell me it's not believable enough. How is that unbelievable? What kind of psychopathic maniac would lie about being allergic to ice cream?
Deep breath.
Alright, let's go.
"My name is Tom. I'm a traveling merchant, and I was hoping to take refuge in your fair city while this storm passes."
Delta shook his head. "Nope. Not buying it. Have you ever lied before in your entire life?" "Yes," I said, fighting back some annoyance. Not well, but he didn't need to know that! "I guess it's just tough to lie on the spot like that. The context of the lie doesn't lend any credence to its believability. It's basically my word against yours. Isn't that a bit unfair?"
"Mm," Delta said, cracking his knuckles. His face had one of the biggest not-my-problem expressions I've ever seen on it. "Doesn't seem like it to me, cadet. Let's attack the problem at its root. To be able to lie, you need to understand lying—agreed?"
"You don't say," My annoyance got the best of me. Delta, to his credit, didn't even bat an eye at my gloomy outburst. "Lying, to some people, is just telling an altered version of the truth— something that isn't entirely wrong, but not right, either. To others, it's saying something completely random. With me so far?"
"Yes."
"The easiest lies to tell are the ones that you, yourself, believe in wholeheartedly. I like to think of them as subjective truths," Delta continued. "Things that are true if just change the perspective around a little. If you can convince yourself what you're saying is true, you'll have an infinitely easier time convincing someone else of it."
He paused, noting my expression. "Bored, then? I suppose I'm not really connecting with you, as they say. Alright then, let's make it about you. You seem to like doing that."
"Me?" I asked, not even touching on the fact that my boredom was that evident to him. I let the barb about my supposed selfishness slide, too. "How so?"
"Well, you've been lied to your whole life. You're being lied to, even now. And, I'm not a betting man outside the racetrack, but if I was, I'd put my life's savings on the fact that you'll be lied to in the future. If there's a single soul on this planet that needs to understand the value and function of lying, it's you."
That got my attention. "Lied to? How so?"
"This is not entirely your fault," Delta quickly prefaced, and I raised an eyebrow. "Let's take a deep dive. Your track record with the supernatural isn't amazing."
Oh…he's going straight below the belt for this one, already. I guess I kind of deserve it for acting like a brat during his lesson.
"Got your attention now?" Delta smiled again, slightly colder this time. "You're far too complicit…trusting, even. I've seen the way you act with your father. I've heard all about your relationship with the Lady of the Hearth. We've seen your victories, of course, but to the trained eye, there's a lot more going on behind the scenes."
I froze for a moment. My stomach dropped slightly as a cold feeling grew across my chest. Delta and I looked at each other for a few moments, a silent battle of wills taking place. "A lot going on behind the scenes how?"
"I think we both know what I'm hinting at," Delta said knowingly. His eyes narrowed. "Aphrodite?"
"How did you…" I trailed off. He's one of Delta's trusted soldiers, right? Maybe he told him? But why would he tell a soldier about his son's love life? This is going to sound so self-absorbed, but in the movie about me, Aphrodite's scenes are kind of short. If anything, you'd think she's just taken an interest in me. All of the marriage stuff is kept under wraps. Did Delta really glean that much information off of those few scenes? If that's true, what kind of an animal is he?
Delta paid no mind to me. "I think that's the most extreme case, but in general, that's where you mess up. I think you're still thinking of them as your father, your aunt. They're not your father and aunt first, Percy, they're Olympians. Mortals and gods are different entities for a reason. No Olympian ever acts just for the sake of it."
"Aren't you committing treason?" I tried to reason, my mind immediately flashing through the potential motives Delta could have for telling me all of this. Yeah, okay, I know I'm spiraling by this point, but I've just been trying to avoid these stray thoughts for a while and now my boss is just dragging them out in front of me. It's like meeting with your boss at McDonald's because you need to take a day off and he starts listing off your deepest, darkest fears. And your social. He even mentions your girlfriend. Not fun now, huh? Yeah, thought so.
"Maybe. If you tell, I guess I am. You won't, though," Delta continued, his posture still relaxed. His darkened eyes held no hint of worry in them. "Listen. The one power that all immortals have over mortals is their ability to lie—it's a privilege given to all gods. They play with mortals. An immortal can try as they might to pass as human, but the one pitfall they'll always fall into is their need to lie. They subconsciously try to maintain that rift of power, even when they're not trying to show off. They don't want a mortal to ever be on an equal playing field with them."
"Are you seriously trying to tell me that my dad is playing me?" A lump formed in my throat. I didn't think he was, but Delta was starting to worry me a little. "Not exactly. He might be a different cause, as he cares for you, but even he's guilty of deception. Think with me, why would he choose to enter your life when he did? He claims to bring you down here on the excuse of training you, but if that was his intention all along, he could've walked into your life at any given time. Right?"
"The Ancient Laws?"
"Come on, Percy. I know you're smarter than that. We both know those Laws don't mean much," Delta said. His tone carried a faint hint of bitterness, and I filed that information away for later. "He's in your life now, is he not? The loophole he boasts would've been there even when you were a child. Put yourself in his shoes and reason with me. Why claim your child now, of all times?"