Rain had started again, soft at first, then heavier, tapping against the pavement as Ren lingered outside Noelle's apartment building. He didn't knock. He didn't want to alert her. He just needed a moment to see her, to breathe the same air, to try to make her understand.
Her window light flicked on, then a shadow passed across the curtains. She was there. And he had kept himself away too long.
Summoning every ounce of courage, he pressed the doorbell. Noelle opened, startled, her eyes widening at the sight of him.
"Ren…" she whispered.
"I need to explain," he said quickly, stepping closer. "Please, just—listen—"
"No!" Her voice cracked but her tone was fierce. "Don't. Don't come here acting like everything can be fixed by a few words. You don't get it!"
"I do! I do!" he shouted, the rain soaking the shoulders of his jacket. "I should've told you sooner! I—"
"You should've told me what? That you've been hiding your life from me? That you have secrets you didn't want me to know?" she cut in, her hands trembling. "It's too late, Ren."
He took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm in his chest. "Noelle… it's just that I didn't want— I didn't want to lose you. And now, seeing you back in that routine, laughing like nothing happened…" His voice faltered. "…I can't stand it."
Her face twisted, angry and frustrated. "And you think I can? Do you know what it's like to not to tell anyone about you and who you really are? You think I don't notice you hanging around me in school?"
"I'm not—"
"You were! Watching me, waiting, probably thinking you could swoop in and fix everything." she snapped.
Ren's eyes darkened. "I just… I wanted to explain! And the guy at the café—"
"No. Stop." Her voice cut like glass. "He has a name, Ren. Han. HIS NAME IS HAN." She took a step closer, trembling. "Yes, I was… I liked him. I admired him for a while. But that was before you. Before we—before we met. Before we were together. Do you understand that?!"
Ren's stomach dropped. Jealousy and hurt surged together, a raw, bitter mix. "So you… you were simping for him? While we—?"
"Before we ever…" she shouted, cutting him off. "It doesn't matter now."
For a moment, the rain drowned the world in white noise. Ren looked at her, her face flushed with anger and pain and realised just how much he had let his fear and pride get in the way. And yet… the jealousy still burned, sharp and undeniable.
"I… I just… I hate that you ever…" he began, his voice low, almost breaking.
Noelle's eyes softened for a moment, but then she shook her head. "Ren, you need to decide if you can trust me. Or if you're just going to keep letting your jealousy ruin everything."
Ren stammered, "Can we be together like before? I cannot stand knowing that you are going to be with him. With Han."
She turned, startled by the strain in his voice. "Ren, it's not that simple—"
"It is," he cut in, stepping closer. "You either want me or you don't. And I can't keep pretending it doesn't tear me apart every time you smile at him."
Noelle's lips parted but no words came. The distance between them seemed to shrink, drawn by something electric and unspoken.
Ren's hand came up, hesitated just short of her face. "I shouldn't care this much," he murmured, voice rough with emotion. "But when I see you with Han, I feel like I'm losing something I never had the right to claim."
His eyes softened then, though the storm hadn't quite passed. "You drive me mad, Noelle," he whispered. "And all I can think about is—" He stopped himself, jaw tight, his breath close enough that she could feel the warmth of it against her skin.
For a heartbeat, Noelle didn't move. Ren's nearness felt like gravity pulling her in despite every reason to resist.
Then she stepped back, her hands pressing lightly against his chest. "Ren… don't."
The word was soft but it cut through him sharper than anger ever could.
His eyes flickered, confusion giving way to hurt. "Why?" he asked, voice low. "Because of him?"
"No," she said quickly, shaking her head. "Because of me. I don't know what I feel right now and I don't want to hurt you by pretending I do."
He swallowed hard, jaw tightening as if he were holding back a thousand things at once. The wind outside rattled the window, echoing the restlessness inside him.
"I can wait," he said finally, though the strain in his tone betrayed the words. "But it's killing me, Noelle. Every time you pull away, it feels like I'm losing you before I ever had you."
She looked up at him, eyes glistening. "You're not losing me," she whispered. "I just need time."
He nodded but his gaze lingered in part longing, part heartbreak. Ren didn't understand a word she was saying when she pushed him back like this and something in him broke. The restraint he'd been clinging to for days—weeks—snapped.
"Noelle," he breathed, stepping forward despite the warning in her eyes. "You keep saying you need time but I'm losing myself waiting."
"Ren, don't—"
"I can't," he said, his voice cracking with desperation. He caught her wrist, not harshly, but with trembling urgency. "I keep thinking if I just showed you how much I—"
He stopped himself, realising the fear that flashed across her face wasn't from anger—it was from him. The realisation hit like cold rain.
He let go at once, stepping back as guilt replaced the storm in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said hoarsely. "That's not… that's not how I want you to feel me."
Noelle's breath came uneven, her gaze searching his. "Ren…"
He shook his head, his voice breaking. "I wanted you to see how much you mean to me and all I did was prove why you shouldn't."
The silence that followed was heavy. Just two hearts beating too fast, too far out of rhythm.
Ren's anger and heartbreak tangled together until he couldn't tell one from the other. His voice trembled as he spoke, his chest rising too fast.
"Noelle, I can't stand this anymore. I need to know you're mine," he said, stepping closer, his emotions overtaking reason.
Before she could respond, he closed the distance and kissed her, roughly, desperately and thoughtlessly.
Noelle froze. For a second the world went silent and then she shoved him back with both hands, her eyes wide, tears breaking loose.
"Don't you ever—" her voice caught, trembling. "Don't you ever do that again."
Ren staggered a step, the horror of what he'd done dawning on him all at once. "Noelle…" His voice was hoarse, small now. "I— I didn't mean—"
But she was crying, shaking her head. "You think love means taking what you want. It doesn't. It means respect."
He couldn't meet her gaze. "I know," he whispered. "I know. I just— I let everything I felt turn into something ugly."
The air between them was heavy with what couldn't be undone. Ren reached out, then stopped himself, realising the only thing she needed from him now was distance.
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice breaking. "You didn't deserve that."
And for the first time, Noelle didn't look at him with confusion or affection, only with pain.
Ren turned to leave, hurt and angry. Angry with himself for hurting her.
Ren didn't sleep that night. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the look on Noelle's face: shock, fear, the tears that hadn't stopped him soon enough.