IntroductionLying, is perhaps the simplest tactic mental manipulators like to use on their prey. The simple reason is that lying is fairly easy to accomplish and does not require much skill. Truthfully their real reason for lying tends to be to hide information that would damage them or become a barrier to their goals. Because if they did something bad. Well, they're not going to want you to know about it. As while manipulators love to be charming. The thing they love above all else is maintaining appearances. So, if they can keep the appearance that they are a good person through deceit then they most certainly will. We encounter liars every day in our life but, often, fail to realize they are telling us falsehoods. Detecting a liar can be difficult, as some people have mastered the craft of spewing falsehoods, so you're not going to be looking for overt signs like nervousness, scratching their nose, etc. You want to look for patterns of untruthful behavior that you can notice and from there, you're able to slowly build up this pattern as a log in your mind, use that to your advantage. Sadly, the truth is that you have a very high likelihood of detecting a liar in a romantic relationship than you do say the nine to five workplaces. This is because during a romantic relationship emotion is high, therefore this places the emotional stakes higher. This, in turn, means that someone who would do something that crosses these emotional stakes is willing to do whatever required to not get caught. A liar in a relationship will probably take the form of a partner who is never home but always has some elaborate excuse for why they're absent. Also, they may try to quickly divert the conversation from the matter at hand when asked where or what they're doing. Defusing a liar through thought is easy enough, but you must be persistent and firm in your belief of the truth. Do not falter the manipulator will try and get you to become convinced that it is, in fact, you who is wrong and not them, that your version of the truth is the real lie. Remember though if someone is innocent, they will not protest their innocence and will trust you. Simply put, think of the old saying that if you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to fear. Tying well into lying as a manipulation tactic, some people will spin the truth to make themselves look like the victim or to allow blame to be placed on you. This kind of manipulation tends to just be called playing the victim and spin. Most of us commonly associate the idea of spinning the truth with news and politics. But the truth is cover manipulators will do that whenever they can. The partner who is always absent and always seems to have a convenient explanation for them not being present. At times when confronted with this information, they will try and pin it on you by claiming you must be insecure in the relationship and how it has to be you who is jealous since you're so suspicious of them. This covert manipulation tactic works by preying on our own emotions and getting us to question them. Getting us to look at our feelings and actions with distrust allows the manipulator to convince us that we must be the crazy ones, we must be the manipulators. In simple terms spinning the truth works by trying to downplay whatever someone is being accused of in hopes that you will believe and trust them. Flattery will Get You Everywhere Moving on from lying and deceit I would like to discuss one of the more effective methods of manipulation and that is flattery. Flattery is an idea we think of when the thought of relationships come to mind. The husband and wife out to dinner joyfully juking and jiving with each other. Or someone at a bar trying to pick up a girl. On the surface that is technically flattery as in its simplest terms, flattery just defines a behavior where someone goes out of their way to give platitudes to you regardless if their truthful or not. Because of how flattery can make us feel good about ourselves, it can be challenging to view it as something manipulative or bad. And the strange truth is that flattery or outright being a kiss-up is not always a bad thing if you want to get ahead in something. As mentioned, prior this is especially true if you are trying to woo a girl. To be honest flattery in its milder form is one of the integral parts of our whole courting process as humans. Flattery used well in the workforce, for example, can be extremely advantageous for the person doing it. As it allows them to try and endear themselves to their boss or other co-workers. In doing this they will gain those individuals' trust allowing them more upward movement within the company. The issue with flattery is that it can be used to create relationships on false pretenses, i.e. it lures someone into a false sense of security about how someone views them. Trust like this that is easily generated is always something you should be cautious about. For example, you start dating a man and he is overly flirtatious and goes seemingly too far to make you feel good then perhaps consider that maybe his intentions are not quite pure. The line between flattery and genuine true compliments lies first in you knowing yourself and your self-worth. If you are a strong confident person than you will know if someone is trying to compliment you in a way that seems to both try too hard and also be untrue. So, remember generally flattery is not always a bad thing but it can be a segue for someone into getting you to give them a false sense of trust which is not always the best. Remembering this and what kind of behavior to look for will help you avoid being a victim of a manipulator in the future. As the line between simple flattery to be friendly and flattery for malice has a fine line, just as anything does. Remember – Manipulation isn't Necessarily Bad Not all manipulation has to be used for bad purposes. Some forms of manipulation we encounter regularly such as advertising and mass media. It can be used for good, so much so that they can make someone a profit. Or they can be used in the corporate world to climb up the ladder of hierarchy. In simple terms at times, it can be required that you grease some palms and perhaps act a certain way to get ahead. Using manipulation techniques such as bending the truth or flattery may be required here to give you an advantage over the competition. In this case, it could be argued that it can be morally permitted due to the honest fact that if you don't try to push your way into these positions someone else will. At this point you are only playing the game everyone else is playing so by going out of your way to being friendly to your boss or bending the truth in how you present your accomplishments. Yes, you are using manipulation by giving your boss the impression an assignment you just completed may be better than it really might be. Is that form of manipulation so bad? All you are doing is simply leveling the playing field. This type of behavior is less manipulation and more in line with the idea of being persuasive or charismatic. The difference here is you are using charm and ingratiation to convince someone further toward your line of thinking regardless of what that may be. It is still them making the decision in the end, all your doing is guiding and influencing them. This is far different from coercion where you are using subtle threats and fear to get what you want. An example of this type of coercion would be lying to your boss about the performance of another coworker to put them down and allow you to get a position that they currently hold. Now that you understand manipulation from a moral aspect let me explain how you can use it yourself. I am sure we have all been at home watching the television when a flashy add with cool music comes on and it catches our attention. But did you ever stop to realize that those ads are designed purposely like that to draw and suck you in? Pay attention next time you walk down the supermarket at how so many different items have such colorful and unique packaging, it's all done on purpose to draw you in and make the item you may or may not purchase all the more enticing. Marketing and ManipulationFor simplicity sake, think of the mass marketing campaign for popular consumer electronics like the I-phone. Apple the company that produces the I-phone will release a new one every year that is not all that different from the one they released a year prior. The way they do this is first by hosting these big insider conferences and then allowing in only a few select journalists. On the surface, this may just seem like perfectly normal industry practice done to perhaps protect job secrets. But the opposite is, in fact, true, by making access to this new product seem exclusive and hidden they are then able to get people interested in it simply because people will always gravitate to what is mysterious and new. Speaking of new the main tactic most companies like to rely on for sales is a psychological phenomenon called the "fear of missing out" simply put all this means is that, you a potential customer are more likely to purchase a product because it is new. In your mind, if you do not purchase the new fancy phone you have somehow fallen behind the social curve and are now missing out on something exclusive that all the cool people own. This form of manipulation relies heavily on spinning the truth by the fact, that while, yes, the new product they are selling is slightly more advanced than the prior it really is not all that new, and the accompanying excitement around it is somewhat synthetic and not perhaps a natural occurrence. So how can you use this tactic for yourself, well the best place this kind of covert manipulation works is the business world. Especially if you are in a sales-driven business. When trying to sell a service or good people tend to only focus on what said service or good offers, not so much ring home how much it can benefit a potential customer. This may sound like common sense but in plain terms play up and ingratiate yourself to your customer base, let them know how lucky they are for looking into your product and how if they purchase the product they will be amongst some exclusive group. In these kinds of instances, you are not really harming the customer as you are persuading them to your side of the aisle. By making them feel good about this potential purchase they, in turn, leave feeling validating and like they have perhaps earned something useful in their life. While you the salesperson has just sold a said product to the customer, therefore, increasing your profit and meeting your requirements. Moving away from the idea of selling something, you can use this type of manipulation in your personal life to meet new and interesting people. Put on an air that you are someone unique, cool or special when you are acting with someone. They will pick up on this and it will translate into the appearance of confidence, in short sell yourself, why should they be friends with you, what do you bring to the table. These are all the things you can covertly show by how you make yourself appear to them. By using flattery and charm while also being integral you make both you and the people your meeting feel good something that is rarely a bad thing. Some people will call this charm the truth is that this a form of manipulation. Now that you are aware of these kinds of sales tricks you are now armed to defend against them. But how do you defeat something that prays on basic instinct? Manipulation and Basic Instinct Well, the answer lies in your basic instinct. Confidence brings with it the appearance of charm by putting on a confident mask you can get a potential manipulator into thinking that you are a hard target to hit. Think of the common image of the used car salesperson an individual who will try to sweet talk an individual into an overpriced purchase even though they know the person can't afford it. They prey on people they can tell are not going to call them out on their behavior. This stereotype exists for a reason, it is because it is somewhat true if you present yourself as weak and powerless people will pick up on that. Recognizing that confidence is needed is only one step in the battle against manipulation. The second is using a bit of common sense and taking a step back and thinking. If something someone is telling you seems too good to be true, then do not just take it at face value. Start by considering the context of the situation and what could motivate someone to be untruthful or manipulative in a situation. What if someone is cheating in a relationship? They may be willing to lie and be dishonest to keep that relationship going. Or, if someone is trying to sell you something then they have the incentive to lie in that context because their livelihood most likely depends on how many of a good or service, they can sell someone. Knowing this context allows you to look at what your being told as a piece of a much larger picture instead of just an isolated occurrence. Trust and ManipulationWithout trust, nothing can be gained either in business or in personal affairs. You can gain this trust in a variety of ways, but you first want to begin by presenting yourself as trustworthy, because if you were not then why would someone want to pay attention to you. Knowing now how commonplace manipulation is, and how it can occur from your house down to the sales floor. It allows you to defend yourself against manipulation which could harm you and stop you from accomplishing your goals. While also allowing you to use some of the tricks lightly to attain your own. Simply put using your enemies' weapons against them is your best approach to defeating them, there's nothing wrong with trying to be overly friendly and flattering to someone. It makes them feel good about themselves and gives you companionship. This same moral attitude can be taken with business. Think of it this way, if you can get the customer convinced that what they are about to purchase will benefit their lives in some way or the other then you have fulfilled a need of theirs. They will always go to someone searching to fill that need regardless of what it may be, so why shouldn't it be you who fills that need? Finally, you then gain something from a job well done, because you understood these tactics. By fulfilling two needs through one act you could argue that using these manipulation tactics for good could be better than using normal behavior to accomplish a goal. On the other hand, you may sometimes find yourself in situations that require you to use manipulation for survival or to even just get a meal. In conclusion, I will always remember the context of the situation you are in before you do anything regarding manipulation. By knowing how to navigate using these techniques effectively you can go far with them. As opposed to being in a situation you are unsure of and trying to apply manipulation tactics. One of the most important components of manipulation is of course confidence. If you are not confident in what you are doing, then why should anyone else have confidence in what you are saying? It may seem difficult to try and be confident when you know you are being somewhat deceitful. To try and avoid this think of it as an actor would. In short look at what you are about to do and engage in as a performance of sorts. Convince yourself first of what you are saying. Now, this does not mean that you have to wholeheartedly believe every word coming out of your mouth. But what it does mean is that you need to create the appearance that you believe what you are saying. This is the same tactic that politicians like to use when trying to get elected, they try and seem personable, and like an everyday joe. Remember this when you are trying to use manipulation tactics to your benefit. Because if you do you will be amazed at how well it goes and how much you can convince someone of.Chapter 1. NlpHave you ever gone through the effort of trying to communicate with someone else that does not speak the same language as you? Perhaps you speak English, and the other person speaks Chinese. The person speaking Chinese is desperately gesturing for something, but you are entirely unsure what it is that they need. They gesture frantically, but you never figure it out. You make many guesses—you offer a phone, and they shake their head. You offer water, and they shake their head. No matter what you offer, the other person becomes more and more annoyed or frustrated because he or she cannot get through to you. Eventually, the other person storms off without having ever gotten whatever it is that he needed and you are left wondering what it was that was so desperately needed in the first place.Now, imagine that same exchange, but you are both the English and Chinese speaker—one half of you only speaks in English while the other desperately tries to communicate in Chinese. Neither side is able to communicate with the other, and both end up disjointed, frustrated, and without any proper communication. This is actually what does happen in your mind. Your conscious mind thinks in one way, and the unconscious mind thinks entirely differently. You may want to be setting up a life to be happy and successful, but in reality, your unconscious has never received the message. As a result, you find that your unconscious continuously sabotages you. Your emotions do not line up with your goals. Your body language does not fit. You simply run into complication after complication, despite the fact that you know what you want.Keep in mind that your unconscious mind is not meant to be your adversary. It is not something that needs to be tamed or controlled. Rather, it is something to harness and work within tandem. However, this means that you need to learn to communicate with it appropriately. If you can figure out the right way to communicate with that unconscious part of yourself, you can get it lined up with your conscious desires and expectations. You can get it to help you achieve your goals. It is not a matter of your unconscious being out to get you or subvert your attempts to happiness; it is a matter of you do not know how best to communicate with your unconscious mind to get what you want .Neuro-Linguistic ProgrammingThis is where neuro-linguistic programming comes in. NLP is designed to help you facilitate getting the results that you want and need. It helps you figure out how best to act in ways that are conducive to your success. Those who practice NLP say that the unconscious mind is what drives you to achieve your goals, so long as you are able to communicate those goals effectively. NLP recognizes that both the conscious and unconscious minds are important and serve their own roles.NLP helps to bridge that gap between the two, acting as a sort of translator, so your conscious desires are communicated to the unconscious mind in order to ensure that your mind works together rather than against each other. By working together, you will find that you are far more likely to see your desired results simply because you are not running into the problem of having the two parts of your mind clash. Effectively, neuro-linguistic processing is a method of learning to communicate with the unconscious. You are learning to become fluent in your unconscious mind's method of communication so you can finally tell it what you want. It allows for that communication with yourself, but also facilitates the communication with others as well. This means that you can use the processes learned during the practice of NLP to also communicate with the unconscious minds of others as well. You can implant thoughts, facilitate behaviors, and encourage changes in lifestyles all by learning how to tap into the unconscious minds of others. While this may sound manipulative, you actually see people paying others to give them the NLP treatment. People will pay practitioners to help them overcome phobias or bad habits. People can be taught to overcome emotions, create new coping methods, and more all by interacting with someone fluent in NLP.For example, imagine that you have severe anxiety because, as a child, you went up to present something, but you really needed to use the bathroom. You could not go before the presentation, and as you gave it, you accidentally had an accident. Everyone laughed at you, and ever since, you have been terrified of ever getting involved in presentations. Being in front of a crowd became something that you could not possibly bring yourself to do. You failed several assignments all through school because you simply would refuse to present. You would do the work, but you would not go up to present it.Obviously, there are plenty of job choices during which you would never have to be in front of a crowd, but if you happened to choose a job that would regularly put you in front of people to deliver reports, you may find that you struggle. You know that you are not a child anymore and that realistically, you would not be wetting yourself again any time soon, but you cannot get over that feeling of being laughed at and horrified. As a solution, you may have spoken to an NLP practitioner. The practitioner would have access to several tools that could help you process that trauma in order to get past it. You could reframe the situation, learning to laugh at it instead of feeling traumatized. You could learn to create anchors that will have you begin to feel an entirely different feeling when you go up to present. No matter the method, there are several tools that can be used to help you get over that trauma.This is just one example of a time that NLP can be used to benefit. However, it can also be used in ways that are harmful. Manipulators love the tools of NLP because they grant access to the unconscious mind. The manipulator can use NLP techniques to create tendencies to obey almost mindlessly. They can create tendencies to give the manipulator exactly what he or she wants. The manipulator will be able to communicate with the unconscious mind without ever tripping the alarms of the conscious mind. Effectively, the manipulator is able to completely bypass the conscious and tell the unconscious exactly what is expected—and the unconscious will comply. Without any clear way to communicate, the individual will be left frustrated, wondering why they keep behaving the way that they are with no clear answer. The Keys to NLPFor NLP to be effective, there are a few steps that need to be followed. These are the keys to NLP that will help you figure out how to access the mind. At this point, you are being shown a brief overview of what needs to happen. There are techniques that will more or less use these steps on their own and other steps that will seek to change things up a bit. However, at the heart of things, these must happen. These three steps, the keys to being able to practice NLP, are being able to examine and identify beliefs, choosing an appropriate anchor, and then setting that anchor in an efficient manner. If you can master these three simple steps, you will find that the more specific techniques seem to fall into place with ease. You will be able to convince people to do almost anything, simply by knowing how to get into the other person's mind. This is a strategic endeavor, but once you are able to follow that strategy, you will find that the control that you can exert over both yourself and others around you is far more than you had access to ever before. You will become the master over your own behavior, while also having the power and access to other people to be a master over them as well. You can effectively use these NLP techniques and strategies to figure out how best to win the long game. Examine beliefsFirst, you are figuring out the information at hand. This is where you start to piece together what you or the other person think or feel surrounding a certain event or situation. You may find that the other person is highly anxious about socializing and being in front of crowds. When in front of a crowd, they tend to melt down and freak out. You know this and acknowledge it. You will be examining beliefs to figure out why that is felt. In this case, it may link back to that one incident of wetting herself in front of a crowd and then being mortified any time she is under public scrutiny. If you are attempting to use NLP on yourself, which is a valid technique that many people will use, you may take this time to identify the emotion that you have that you wish was not problematic. You may figure out that you tend to feel angry during certain situations, and because of that anger, you struggle to really communicate with other people effectively. That lack of communication usually has the unfortunate result of causing problems in your relationships .As you identify those feelings, you will find that you can figure out where the problem lies. In figuring them out, you can start to figure out how best to target and destroy them. In NLP, this process usually involves the use of anchors—points that are directly related to a certain event or feeling. An anchor for your stress, for example, maybe you bite your nails out of habit, but after a lifetime of biting your nails when stress, just the act of absently biting your nails can make your anxiety begin to flare up.Choose an anchorKnowing that you will be under the influence of several anchors already, certain situations or actions that cause you to feel a certain emotion, it is time to figure out which anchors and emotions you can use to overcome the problem. If you know that you have an anger issue, you may go through the effort of learning how to combat that anger issue through triggering new emotions instead. Whenever you would feel yourself getting angry, then you would make sure that you trigger your anchor, and that would then cause you to feel something else.Effectively, if you are familiar with basic psychology, you are conditioning yourself. You are effectively training yourself to act a certain way in response to certain situations, and in doing so, you are able to make sure that you can overcome the negative feelings that have been holding you down. If you have bad habits in relation to your emotions, you can begin to counter them. You can figure out how to create new, healthier habits that trigger you to behave in new, healthier ways. You can figure out how best to protect yourself from your negative emotions so you can heal and move on in life.Your new anchor can be just about anything. You could use an affirmation or word that you repeat to yourself to help keep yourself under control. It could be a movement or an action that you use to remind yourself to stay under control, such as snapping your wrist with a rubber band whenever you find that your anger is getting out of hand. It could be a scent that makes you feel secure. It can even be a certain thought or memory that you return to during times of distress. When you choose an anchor, you want to make sure that it is something that you can regularly access for maximum impact. You may be best served with a short phrase that you use or a motion of your hands. That is something that you can do subtly and at any point in time .Set an anchorFinally, you must figure out how to set your anchor. This is where you see the most deviation in your behaviors and techniques. There are several different methods that can be used in order to set a good anchor point for you or for those around you, and how you decide to do so will largely be dependent upon what you are hoping to do and how you are dealing with. You may choose to use visualization if you are working with someone intentionally, with the other person knowing what you are doing. You may choose to use something more along the lines of mirroring and subtle mimicry and emotional triggers if you want to be entirely unnoticed. You may choose to do something like intentionally reframing a memory from negative and traumatic into something funny if you want to change your own way of thinking and your own emotional reaction. Ultimately, the method that you choose will largely be subject to who you are attempting to persuade and how you want to go about it.If you want to make it a point to, for example, persuade a stranger to buy something that you want them to, you may make it a point to trigger a mirroring relationship—do not worry if you do not know how to do this. From there, you can subtly influence him to nod his head by nodding your own head, making the other person's mindset far more likely to be agreeable, and leading to the other person being influenced to nod along with you without ever realizing that you had influenced and encouraged that decision. Whether you want to control yourself or someone else, you always want to choose an anchor that is simple and easily implemented, but not so common that it will be randomly triggered by strangers during the course of the day. While you probably could trigger someone to make a certain face every time you do a very specific and common movement, such as giving a thumbs up, it would not be particularly kind or ethical to do so. You would be triggering the other person in a way that will likely be distracting and problematic. After all, no one wants to be grimaced at every time they give a thumbs up to someone else. Chapter 2. Body LanguageBody language points to the nonverbal cues that us as humans use to have effective communication with each other. Such nonverbal signals, according to scholars, constitute a major part of daily interaction. The stuff we do not say can still transmit amounts of knowledge from our body language to our physical movements. It has also been reported that body language can account for about 60 percent and 65 percent of all communication. It is necessary to understand body language, and it is also vital to pay close attention to other signals such as meaning. In many situations, instead of relying on a single event, you must look at signals as a band. When you learn and master how to use body language for effective communication, you will also be able to manipulate individuals psychologically in a positive manner.What Is Body Language? Even when they don't express their opinions verbally, the majority still miss clues about what they think and feel. Non-verbal signals communicated through the formation of the sender's body, physical appearance, voice inflections and intensity of the voice, and various signs are all referred to as non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication is usually not as simple as it is conveyed in words, but how it is expressed could take on a major job by recognizing somebody and interfacing with others. It's a quiet ensemble: mini-expressions (short presentations of feeling that individual attempts to disguise), hand gestures, and the recording of posture in the human mind very rapidly in any event, when someone is not consciously aware of them.These acknowledgment snapshots, however short, can have lasting repercussions on how an individual translates the inspiration, disposition, and receptivity of others as well as how they see their own inner identity. Regrettably, certain psychological well-being issues, particularly neuropsychiatric issues such as mental defect, may make it, even more, trying to test to recognize and respond to non-verbal communication messages.Types of Body LanguageThere are types of body language. This is because we cannot classify the different styles in the same category. Different body languages can be distinguished. So, which body language styles can be differentiated? Generally, the body language is divided into two columns. That includes; Body parts and the Intent So what kinds in each class can be observed?Let us start with the body parts and the language they communicate.The Head - The placement of the head and its movement, back and forth, right to left, side to side, including the shake of hair. Face - This includes facial expressions. You should note that the face has many muscles ranging from 54 and 98 whose work is to move different areas of the face. The movements of the face depict the state of your mind.Eyebrows - The eyebrows can express themselves through moving up and down, as well as giving a frownEyes - The eyes can be rolled, move up down, right, and left, blink as well as the dilatationThe Nose - The expression of the nose can be by the flaring of the nostrils and the formation of wrinkles at the topThe Lips - There are many roles played by the lips, that include snarling, smiling, kissing, opened, closed, tight, and puckeringThe Tongue - The tongue can roll in and out, go up and down, touch while kissing, and also the licking of lipsThe Jaw - The jaw opens and closes, it can be clinched and also the lower jaw can be moved right and leftYour Body Posture - This describes the way you place your body, legs, and arms connected, and also concerning other peopleThe Body Proximity - This looks at how far your body is to other peopleShoulder Movements - They move up and down, get hunched, and hangThe Arm - These go up down, straight and crossedLegs and the feet-these can have an expression in many different ways. They can be straight, crossed, legs placed one over the other, the feet can face the next person you are in a conversation with, they can face away from each other, the feet can be dangling the shoesThe hand and the fingers-the way that your hands and fingers move is powerful in reading other people's gestures. The hands can move up and down, they can do some hidden language that only people of the same group can understand.How one reacts to handling and placing of objects-this is not regarded as a body part but it technically plays a role in reading a body language. This may predict anger, happiness and much more. This includes willingly making body movements otherwise known as gestures. These are the movements that you intended to make for example shaking of hands, blinking your eyes, moving, and shaking your body in a sexy way maybe to lure someone and much more. There are also involuntary movements-this are movements that you have no control over. This can be sweating, laughter, crying and much more .Importance of Body Language Most individuals rely on social networks and texts to connect in the modern digital age, and this is a very reliable way for doing so.While digital communication enables people to speak at convenience and can reduce stress on certain individuals, something can be lost in so doing, and because you are incapable of recognizing the person when you speak to them, you can miss key non-verbal signs in addition to verbal ones such as vocal inflections. Digital communication has become the main method for people around the world, and to satisfy this, there is the likelihood that body language will proceed to develop. Most of the time you may hear the negatives of body language. Maybe you are told not to twist in a certain way, sit this way or that way. However, body language can influence your life positively. Let us look at what you should do to maximize body language.How Body Language Can Influence Effective CommunicationWhile we may feel and wish that interaction is as easy as the phrases that we say, it is not the truth. The reality is that our message is heard more than just our words. If in an email, text, or instant message you've ever been mistaken, you know what I'm talking about. Words alone are not enough. The body language is part of what strengthens and wraps up the message and if individuals see us may be face-to-face or using video cameras, our body language influences our message and presentation. You may find that body language helps the receiver of information read your mind and interpret your thoughts. Acknowledge that there's more to the message that you're sending, there's the meta-message of who you're and the intention to send that message. Body language is constantly communicating to your audience.My aim in this is to offer you some specific advice to help your communication in the body language that you use and to increase the chances that your message will be heard and understood properly. Always Make Eye Contact It is first on the list, without a doubt. You will be surprised to note that, our eyes talk more on our behalf. However, this is prone to some cultural differences. We develop confidence in what we say and believe the other individual once we make eye contact. Our eyes may be the portals to our soul, but they are certainly a way to develop a relationship and provide effective communication. You may say that you are shy and unable to make eye contact most of the time. Well, the shyness may cause you to look down or sideways while communicating. Your audience may interpret this as a lack of confidence in your message. I would advise you to nurture your eye contact. The good thing about body language is that you can learn it with time. Purpose To develop the skills step by step.Walk EnergeticallyPicture the first time you meet anyone. In a sluggish posture, they come to you, ambling towards you. Picture the same scenario now with an individual walking with intent and power–we're not thinking about sprinting, but a deliberate walk. This mere act is the individual's opinion, isn't it? Our walking style sends out a message of trust and authenticity and also beauty. When you walk in confidence, you depict that you know what you are up to and believe in yourself. You know what happens next, people will be able to believe in you too .Bring Out a ReflectionOur feelings and considerations appear through our non-verbal communication which is the purpose of this article. When you need to discuss better with others, consider reflecting their non-verbal communication. This isn't a YouTube snapshot of an infant emulating another person, the fact of the matter isn't to copy or ridicule somebody, yet rather to show sympathy through your non-verbal communication. This must be inconspicuous and will take practice, however, it can enable your messages to be gotten all the more effectively by others. Give Individuals a Chance to See Their HandsWe as a whole utilize our hands to convey a message. You can even watch individuals on the telephone, when the other individual can't in any way, shape or see them, utilizing their hands to present their meaningful conclusion! At the point when individuals can't see our hands, they wonder on the off chance that we are concealing something, if we are anxious, and maybe numerous different things. Your hands are a piece of your effective communication; so, use them and maintain a strategic distance from any negatives that may originate from concealing them from others.Utilize Empowering Non-Verbal Communicatio nTwo quick models: eye to eye connection is referenced as of now, and gesturing with individuals to show that you comprehend and additionally concur. When somebody does that it conveys capably to you, isn't that right? This isn't the main model. Identified with reflecting over, this is utilizing our body development and motions to show individuals we give it a second thought and need to tune in to and gain from them and that what we are sharing is to their greatest advantage as well. Slow DownA few of us speed up our communication. It is advisable to slow down, however, it hinders your signals and development. While some speed conveys vitality, there is an almost negligible difference that we cross that leads our non-verbal communication to show tension, apprehension, or even contemptibility. Take a full breath and relax a little bit. Have an Incredible HandshakeIf you have one, you realize how significant this is. If you are unconscious of this reality, you might just have a limp, dead fish, or overwhelming and over-controlling handshake. A handshake communicates something specific about what your identity is. Work on a firm and welcoming handshake and you will impart believability and certainty to other people. While we as a whole can and should deal with these things, perceive that the beneficiary of our message, the watcher of our non-verbal communication is the judge. Their view of our non-verbal communication runs the day. At the point when we apply the thoughts above however, we will improve the odds that their discernment is certain and will bolster better correspondences and connections. Here Are More Powerful Tips and Their Relevance in CommunicationTo enhance your confidence, undertake the power pose Research shows that actually holding your body in broad, high-powered poses that involve leaning back with your arms behind your feet and head up on your chair, or standing with your arms and legs wide open for as little as two minutes promotes higher levels of testosterone a hormone connected to dominance and power. Do this when you 're getting nervous but want to look confident. Such positions, in addition to triggering hormonal changes in both males and females, lead to increased emotions of dominance and higher risk perception. Act like You're Listening to Encourage ParticipationIf you want your audience to take action, don't multitask while they're doing it. Do not be tempted to check your SMS messages, to check the time, or see how the other members respond. Alternatively, by moving your head and body to face them directly and making eye contact, you can concentrate on those who are speaking. Leaning forward, nodding, and rotating your head are other ways to demonstrate your commitment and attention through body language. Hearing people is essential. Being sure they understand your attentive is just as critical. Get Rid of Barriers to Have a Connection To promote cooperation, remove everything that prevents your vision or creates a wall for both you and the rest of the group. Even as you take a breather, be mindful that by keeping your teacup in a style that seems to shield your body intentionally or separate you from everyone else, you can form a barrier. A senior executive once observed that the higher they kept their coffee cups, he could determine the satisfaction of his staff. To rate the nervousness of the individuals, they tend to hold their coffee cups at a high position. People held at waist level with their hands were more relaxed than those with high chest arms. Shake Hands to Build a Connection The act of touch has been regarded as the most powerful non-verbal cue to create a great connection with people... Touching others with as little as a few seconds on the arm, side, or shoulder establishes a human internal connection. Looking at the workplace, through the handshake tradition, bodily touch and comfort are developed, and this tactile contact gives a lasting and positive feeling. Handshake research showed that if you shook hands with people, you are twice as likely to remember them after you leave. Research has shown that people are more open and friendly to the people they come into contact with and shake hands. Smile to Stimulate Good Feelings A genuine smile not only triggers your sense of well-being, but it also tells those around you that you are accessible, supportive, and reliable. A real smile slowly emerges, crinkles the eyes, and widens the lips, shines up the face, and slowly fades away. Most significantly, a smile has a direct impact on how others relate to you. You may have noticed that when you smile at someone they respond with a smile. Facial expressions have a way of triggering more feelings associated with the smile. When you get back a smile, it transforms the emotional state of the other person in post-trigger corresponding feelings, the smile that you get back actually changes the emotional state of that person positively. When in Agreement, Always Show Through Expressions and the Posture When clients or business partners unintentionally mimic your body language, it is their way of stating how much they like or comply with you in a non-verbal manner. It can be an essential part of developing relationships and fostering shared sentiments when you mirror other individuals with purpose. Mirroring begins by examining the gestures of a person's face and body and then allowing your body to take on similar statements and poses consciously. The other person will feel recognized and welcomed to do so. Always Watch People's Feet if You Want to Learn the Truth As individuals try to regulate their expression of the body, they focus mainly on facial expressions, postures of the body, and movements of the hand/arm. Because the feet and the legs have not been rehearsed, they are where all the reality can be identified commonly. By enhanced foot motions, individuals will often show anxiety and discomfort while undergoing any form of stress. The feet will always fidget together around the seat. The Feet can spread and curl to ease tension, and even jump out to flee in a remotely controlled effort. Studies have found that viewers are more effective in determining the real emotional state of an individual as they see the whole body. Maybe you don't know, but you have been reacting to feet gestures all of your life. Keep Your Voice Down to Command AuthorityAs you plan to make or receive a call or else a speech, you should let your voice relax into its optimal pitch. You will achieve this by putting your lips together and make the voices of 'um, um hum'. Also, take note that your voice does not go so high at the ends of the sentences. It may be confused with asking questions or trying to seek approval. To counter this, if you want to state an opinion use the authoritative pitch that starts with a low note and raises the voice throughout the sentence and the voice goes down towards the end. When you adopt this, you will be able to take control and command authority in each space.Don't Cross Your Legs, You Will Enhance Your MemoryAccording to a study, people in a lecture room who had unfolded legs and arms recorded a higher memory of more than 35 percent compared to those who had crossed them. Therefore, to enhance your retention of information, you should unfold your arms and legs. If you are making a presentation and note these characteristics among your audience, change your strategy and do something that will enhance their listening. You could take a break and make sure that you see a change happen by making them open and loosen up for concentration. Chapter 3. Subliminal PersuasionSubliminal persuasion is the technique of convincing your target, or your group of targets, to do something, without them knowing. There isn't going to be any outward suggesting of the idea, and often the victim isn't going to realize that you were trying to influence them at all. It is one of the types of persuasion that manipulators and others can use, and it uses words, along with some gestures, to get ahold of different people. So, you may find things like smiling, use of the head, eye expression, and more being used, both in a positive and a negative manner. It is a powerful technique, but often a difficult technique, that not only uses words, but uses the meaning behind the words, and body language, to ensure that the victim does what the manipulator wants.In the modern world, the techniques that are used for subliminal persuasion are going to be powerful weapons that can really help you get ahead. They can help you to manipulate others, or even gain an advantage in a market where there is a lot of competition, and you need to stay ahead of the game. According to some experts in the field of marketing and persuasion, many people are resulting in subliminal advertising because it is more effective. As they say, "Persuasion that looks like persuasion isn't persuasive anymore."Even a manipulator can use this information to help then take control of the victim. If the persuasion that they use is too obvious, then the victim is just going to walk away. You see a lot of examples of persuasion in your daily lives that it is easy to recognize the more obvious signs and stay away from them if you don't want to purchase something or do something.If a manipulator comes at their victim with a big sales pitch, lots of bright flashing lights, and other obvious techniques of persuasion, then they will get nowhere. The victim is smart enough to recognize these signs, and they will get away from the manipulator, and this is where subliminal persuasion can come in.Every time that the manipulator communicates with their victim, they are going to be very careful about the nonverbal signs that they are sending out as well. The manipulator is going to try and send out extra messages and extra persuasion through the body language and the nonverbal cues that he/she is sending out as well.Since subliminal persuasion is going to deal with the feelings that the victim has, there is going to be some kind of subconscious element in this kind of persuasion. As a manipulator or another kind of person who needs to use persuasion, you will provide the victim's mind with some feelings of enthusiasm and comfort about doing a given task. Those thoughts and emotions are going to be sent out to the subconscious mind, but then you have to take to the logical mind too. You can then talk to this part of the mind by discussing the things that are rational about the choice.Some subliminal factors are going to influence whether the manipulator is going to be believable. For instance, the way that the manipulator does dress is going to be a factor. The manipulator is going to make sure that the victim sees him/her at his/her very best. The manipulator will dress nicely, make sure that his/her appearance is kept up, and always look like he/she is doing well. Even when the manipulators are trying to play the victim and say that they are hurt or dealing with a big illness, your manipulator will still dress nice.You are programmed to be more likely to help out someone with a nice appearance, someone who is well-groomed, compared to someone who is not. If the manipulator wants to exploit this factor, then they are going to take some extra precautions with their appearance.There can also be a level of subliminal persuasion that is used in the language of the manipulator as they ask for a favor. There is a lot of truth in the idea of "it's not what you say, but how you say it." The manipulator isn't going to say anything that is too out there, because this is something that may raise some flags with their victim. But the way they use their words will make a difference, and usually gets them what they want.The way that the manipulator will use their inflections and intonations will also have a large bearing on the meaning of what you say. If you see a sentence like "I can't promise you that price," you may assume that it has just one meaning, and that is it. But depending on the way that the manipulator, or salesperson, uses it, there may be a few different meanings. Take a look at some of the examples below:• I can't promise YOU that price. This one is going to infer that the manipulator isn't willing to get you that price, but maybe they will promise that price to someone else .• I can't promise you that price. This one can infer that one person can't do it, but maybe there is someone else who can offer that price.• I CANNOT promise you that price. This one is going to infer that there is just no way that the person is going to get that price.• I can't PROMISE you that price. This one is going to infer that there isn't a guarantee but that the manipulator might be able to do them a "favor' and get that price.• I can't promise you THAT price. This one infers that the manipulator is going to see what they can do. They may not be able to offer exactly that, but they could still get you something good.• I can't promise you that PRICE. This one is going to infer that they will still be able to promise you something, even if the price point doesn't fall in the desired spot.The importance of these statements is a great way to utilize the ideas of subliminal persuasion. And there can be so many different meanings based on the words that the manipulator, or any other person, decides to emphasize. And it is sometimes such a subtle process, that you can hear the sentence and infer the meaning, without even realizing what is going on.Think about the intonation that you can use when you say a specific sentence, and then imagine the power that goes behind those words based on what a manipulator would be able to use with them as well. In fact, there are about three choices that come with intonation and the way that it can change up the meaning of the whole sentence. As you go through and say something, the three ways to finish up that sentence would include:• An intonation that goes up• A downward, which would mean that the intonation is a deeper voice• A voice intonation that does not change at allSubliminal Persuasion AdvertisingOne aspect of subliminal persuasion that you need to take a look at with this topic referred to as subliminal advertising. This type of advertising aims to use your subconscious minds against you to profit from another company. The business is going to sneak different emotions, feelings, and thoughts into the things that you consume, in the hopes that you are going to want to purchase more of that same products. In some countries, the idea of subliminal advertising has been banned because it has been recognized how dangerous this kind of manipulation tactic can be against the consumer.However, it is pretty common that an advertiser can get into the head of the consumer, and most of these advertisers are really good at doing it. They sometimes even pay to have potential consumers what the advertisement to monitor how the brain functions while watching that commercial. This helps the advertisers to get a better idea of how the brain is going to work while watching the advertisement, and then they can make adjustments to really make it stronger.The advertisers are going to monitor several things. For example, they may decide to track eye movement to see what part of the commercial is drawing the attention of the crowd more. The advertising company can then use this information to sell a product and to be as effective with the subliminal persuasion as possible. This shows just how powerful advertising can be, and how it has broken into your brains, understanding how to sell you something better than your understanding of capitalism, and what it means to be a consumer.Think about a chocolate commercial for an example. The advertisement could just show a picture of a peanut butter cup. You see the logo, just for a second, but then there is nothing else on the screen that tells you to purchase that treat. However, this is enough to tell you about the candy bar, and the idea gets stuck in your head. This can make it more likely that you will purchase that same treatment when you head to the store next time.Of course, you don't always give in to what we see in advertisements, even with subliminal persuasion. You see thousands of advertisements during the week, and of course, you are not going out and purchasing thousands of items. But it is effective. Think about the reason that you do purchase some of the things that you own. Think about the reasons that you have a tone of stuff around the house that you never use. All of this could be due to the process of subliminal advertising and persuasion .Different Ways of Being Subliminally PersuadedWhether you feel comfortable with the idea or not, it is highly possible that you are subliminally persuaded in one way or another. For example, if someone has ever used a form of passive-aggressive behavior on you, then they have tried to use this kind of persuasion on you as well. For example, your mother could make a comment about how she saw someone at the store that she hadn't seen for some time, and then she makes a side comment about the weight of that person, in a certain tone.The reason that the mother was doing this could be a subliminal message about how that mother feels about the weight of her daughter. The persuasion then is that the perception of that daughter is going to be altered. For example, the daughter may feel like she isn't meeting the standards of beauty that her mother has. And as a result, the daughter could try to alter her life, choosing to stay away from the mother to avoid these comments and not feel bad or try to work and lose weight if possible.This is such a tricky tactic of persuasion, one of the hardest to fight off out of them all. Those who are using this kind of persuasion are often going to be so lost in their own personal delusions, ones that no one else is going to share, and they are never able to recover. Of course, they are never going to admit that they are using these manipulation tactics, and the victim will either need to remove themselves from the situation or be stuck in the cycle forever.Asking for MoreOne method that someone who is a subliminal persuader will use to get something from others is to start out by asking for more than they really need in the end. Perhaps that person needs to have $5000, but they know that is a big amount to ask someone for, especially right from the beginning. So, instead of starting with that amount, they are going to ask for one that is much higher. This is done to kind of shock the victim into thinking the lower amount is more reasonable, and they are more likely to give in to the request.The person who was the victim of this subliminal persuasion may feel guilty at the end of this conversation because they weren't able to give more, and they weren't able to help out for the full amount. Even though that person already asked for something once, the manipulator can keep on coming back because their victim will feel like they hadn't given enough the first time. Or, since they helped in the past, they may feel obligated to keep up with this pattern and offer help again.Doing FavorsSomeone who is using subliminal persuasion on another person may first choose to ask for a favor. With manipulation, it is more of a demand or a blatant telling of what the victim needs to do. But the persuader will ask for the favor so that there is an illusion that they need some aid or help that only the victim can provide. The victim is going to feel like they should help out because they may have some kind of need to care for others, and they may feel good about themselves for doing a favor for someone else.In some cases, the manipulator may do a favor for the other person first. This helps the victim feel like since they had gotten help first, they need to return the favor, and they become indebted to the manipulator. However, with subliminal persuasion, the manipulator is just going to cut to the chase and will focus on appearing like they need help with something.Those who are the victim in these cases may feel like they are someone special just because they get the privilege of helping this other person out. They may feel good about themselves like they had some value because they were able to help someone else. Of course, the manipulator is the one in control of that situation, and they are taking advantage of the need to care in the victim to their advantage they will get what they wanted from the victim, even though the victim is going to feel good about doing the favor.Being FlatteredFlattery can be great at this, but it is definitely something that can be used against the victim when the manipulator gets to work. The manipulator will believe that if they can build up their victim, and if they can make that victim feel good about themselves, then they can get what they want out of that person.You can see how well flattery works when you watch young children use this technique. Children often learn how to use flattery at an early age in an attempt to get people to do what they want. They already understand that using their charm can lead to a lot of happiness in other people, which will lead them to do things for the manipulator .This is something that can occur in abuse, too. The abuser gets into a pattern of building up the significant other a bunch, and then later, when it works for them, they are going to tear this person down and be the one in control of the situation again.You will find that people are much more willing to do something for the manipulator when there is flattery involved. The flattery, even if it is shallow or even if it is from someone we don't know well, makes us feel good. It makes us feel smarter, prettier, stronger, and more like.Choosing the Appropriate Time to Ask for SomethingThose who are going to be using subliminal persuasion are going to make sure that they calculate out the right time to ask for something. They won't just focus on who to go after as a victim. They are also going to put in some effort into deciding when it is the right time to ask the victim to help with the favor to make sure the answer is going to be a yes.There are a lot of times when the manipulator can choose to ask you for a favor. But it will never be at a time when you are at your best. They won't ask you when you are having a good day, or when you are well-rested and happy or ready to think through the answers that you give. This is when normal people would ask because they want to get a good answer from you.But remember that the manipulator just wants to get the answer that benefits them. And they often know that you will turn them down if you are alert enough to catch on to what they are asking for. This is why you must be careful about requests for favors or help when you are tired, or even times when you are in a good mood. The manipulator is going to spend some time looking for these times and then using them to their advantage when they ask you for some favors.Someone who is trying to subliminally persuade you will also try to ask for favors when both of you are in public settings. They believe that this is going to give them the upper hand of the situation. They like to do this because it can take away the chance for a confrontation that is going to be uncomfortable and unfavorable for them.And that is why this kind of persuasion can be so difficult to detect in some cases. When the victim can help, they are going to feel good about themselves. They can see what the other person needs, and then will step in and offer to help in some way. They can feel good about themselves, and they can sometimes look good in front of the other people who are important to them, and the manipulator gets to leave with exactly what they wanted because the victim followed the plan.Chapter 4. Dark PsychologyWhat is Dark Psychology?Having Knowledge is the central point of the existence of a human being. One of the main reasons for us to evolve from primates and to become what we are today is the evolution of our mind yet the human mind is far much more complicated to understand. The potential of the human mind is still not known to us and with all the advanced technologies of the 21st century; scientists are still finding it very difficult to understand the capabilities and the potential of the human brain.Having said the same thing I can say that someone knowing human psychology is far more powerful than the rest of us. Knowledge of psychology can be applied in every aspect of life. With the resources in our time getting fewer day by day and population increasing day by day, the tendency of human being preying over each other is increasing at a very high rate. Dark psychology is nothing but the study of the nature of human beings to prey upon each other. If you are unaware of all this then you must pay attention to what I am saying because anybody can take advantage of you without even letting you know with or without a purposive intent in his/her mind. This is not something only certain people are associated with; this is a human tendency and this does not need to be justified. Taking advantage of our well-being we often try to take advantage of people even if they are very close to us without even thinking of what he or she will go through. So, the human mind indeed is designed like that while some of us find a way to bury down these thoughts and train our brains to sublimate these thoughts, some people act upon the impulse of these thoughts. While most of the times there is always a purpose to why human being does such things, which are going to affect someone and there are some rationale and motivation behind them doing that stuff. But in a very rare case, it also happens that one can develop the tendency to prey upon others without having goal, motivation, and intent. Dark Psychology is associated with the study of the psychological nature of human beings as to why they do such things and it seeks to understand the thoughts, processes, and ideas that lead to the predatory nature of human beings. Importance of Dark PsychologyAs mentioned above the basic principle of Dark psychology is to know the facts and thoughts going inside the human brain that induces the preying upon others mentality in human beings and obtaining psychological knowledge about someone is itself a very tough nut to crack. Someone having knowledge of Dark psychology is a person of far much more important than one can realize. The human brain is filled with numerous thoughts. Even if we sleep our brain does not sleep and keeps generating new ideas and it shows the beauty of our brain. To separate the useless thoughts from the useful ones is a very tough job and only a psychologist can do that. You might not like it when I say that Dark Psychology is at work in the world right now. But you can't change this fact. A person who understands the true meaning of dark psychology has so many advantages over the ones who don't understand it. While it is true that most of us don't even care about understanding the basic meaning of Psychology and remain ignorant about the same, any man who understands dark psychology is rare to find. There are ideas and principles embedded in the dark psychology that can help us grow in every aspect of life. Having knowledge of dark psychology can help you in fulfilling your professional and personal endeavors. You don't need to become a psychopath to do that but, having some common sense and a little bit of curiosity is enough to understand all about dark psychology and how it's going to prove fruitful results for you. You don't need to understand dark psychology;
You can use manipulation from the other side of the perspective as well. If you are the customer and knowing how to manipulate during this time can be highly valuable. As you know, many times the salespeople have been given some room to negotiate with their customers in order to encourage sales. This means that if you are willing to use some manipulation and work with them, you can get a special and better deal. You are able just to take the price, but wouldn't it be much better for you to go through and get a better price if you are able to. Being effective at manipulation means that you can easily manipulate companies to give you the best in deals for services and products. By promising them your praise and services, for example, you can essentially get them in the palm of your hand. They become far more willing to communicate with their managers and negotiate the best possible deal for you so that you will actively buy from them. Salespeople, especially those who are based on commission, are always eager to close a deal. This allows you to use manipulation in order to get the deal to close in your favor. Leading the Desired Lifestyle That You Want Each person has a goal about the desired lifestyle that they would like to have—but the lifestyle that you have right now, and the one that you desire, might not always be the same thing. However, the good thing about using manipulation is that you are able to use it to help you get to the desired lifestyle. There are a lot of ways that you can do this—you just need to learn how to make it work. Let's say that right now you are living in a house that you are renting, and you want to buy your own home at some point—but right now, the types of homes that you are the most interested in purchasing are not within the price that you can purchase. However, with the right kind of manipulation, you may find that you are able to get a better deal, putting you into the home of your dreams sooner as you would like. This can work with any of the big-ticket items that you would like to purchase, such as cars. Another way that this can work is with some of the relationships that you are in. If you are someone who would like to find a new group of friends, the friends who are going to help you reflect your new lifestyle, you may find that working with manipulation is going to help you out. You can also use the art of persuasion to convince others to become your friends and spend time with you—and from that, you will then have the friends that you need to live this new lifestyle. Take this a step further and see how it can work with some of your intimate relationships. If this kind of relationship doesn't look like the one that you would like, then you can bring in some manipulation and see if it is possible to make the right changes towards a better relationship. If you want to have more romance, for example, you would spend some time with fancier places or people. Getting Out of Things Have you ever gotten into a situation where you were asked to do something, but you didn't have any want to do it? All of the time we are going to be signed up for things, or given offers, that we aren't really that interested in—and sometimes, it can feel difficult to turn these things down in a polite manner. Depending on who is asking for the favor, you may feel obligated to help them out with it. However, once you learn how to work with manipulation a bit more, you will find that this is not as big of a problem for you anymore. You may even find that this is a good place to start when it comes to practicing your manipulation. You can bring it up any time that you get stuck doing something that you would rather not be doing. Not only are you able to use manipulation for your benefit to get out of the reunions or things that family and friends want you to help out with, but you can also use it at work as well. If your boss went and signed you up for something that you don't want to do, you can use manipulation to convince them to let you get out of it, or you can convince someone else to go and do the work for you. You can use manipulation in any manner that you would like to make sure that you are able to live the life that you want. It can help you to get the business negotiations to work the way that you want, to help you get the friendships, relationships, and to get yourself out of the things that you don't want to do. There are just so many different things that you are able to use manipulation with, and this can be a great way to ensure that you have the life that you have always dreamed about.Chapter 9. How To Identify And Counter A ManipulationIdentify itThe first key principle about manipulation can identify it. And to identify it, you have to understand the laws of human nature which are gotten from Robert Greene. The first law is that people will attack you if they think that you are weak. The second thing is that people are trying to sense any weakness in you to know whether they should attack you or back off. And the last one is that people are after easy victories. So people are going to sense whether you are weak, and then they're going to think about whether they should attack you or not. If they feel like you're going to be an easy win, then they're going to attack you. And if they think that they are going to get hurt in the process, then they are going to back off and look for the easier victim. And the thing is that these people try to sense your weakness. If they sense that you are weak, they will attack you, and that is where you should use a defensive stand as an offensive stand. So, to identify somebody who is a manipulator, you have to give up the impression that you are weak and that you are a naive person and that you depend on them because you want to see how they react to power. You want to see how they react when they feel like you have them. You want to appear like a weak victim and see how they react to it and see how they react to your weakness. Appear like you depend on them. Test them as much as you can. You want to appear weak to see how the person will react to you. Because that is when somebody really shows who they really are. So to identify them, you, first of all, show that you're weak and see what happens. You want to test them; you don't want to get attached to them. Build a reputation to avoid themThe next thing is to build a reputation to prevent manipulation. Your reputation is what precedes you in life. So to determine manipulation, you must send signals that you are not to be messed around with. You have to send the signals, and you can do that by really taking bold actions. For instance, if you are with someone and you notice that they are starting to get too comfortable with you and they're starting to be late and get too comfortable, you can break it off. You can tell them that you are done, you don't like this kind of stuff with you, and that you have zero tolerance. You are telling him that you could dump him any second if he messes around with you. If he's actually playing again, he's going to change that, and he will know that you are not somebody to be messed with. You want to set the tempo from the beginning. If you noticed that he's deviating from your standard and a healthy relationship, then cut him off.If you see that he wants to act cool on you, then tell him that you are done. The thing is that you have to be willing to fish him out because that is the signal that people feel when you do that. They feel as if you can walk away any second. Most times, people are bluffing, and they show weakness. So, by actually making some bold moves like that, you are actually making them know that you know that they are playing games with you. So, in other words, you should make it like they got you all wrong because they thought that they are good by fucking with you, not knowing that they cannot mess around with you.Do the subtle thing that suggests that you are about to do it. This tells him that you are not paranoid. So if you're with somebody and you want to communicate with them that you're not happy with how things are going on and you're noticing that he is trying to guilt-trip and he's trying to make you do the things that he wants you to do rather, than say that you are going to leave him. Say subtle things that communicate that you are losing interest in him. For instance, not calling him back and telling him that you're not going to call him back or not calling him back when he texts you. So you're responding in a very direct way, but you respond in a very bland way. The thoughts about you go away. There is no emotion when you text. There is no consistency when you text him. Don't stop till thing, and that will show him that you are losing interest in him. And that you are willing to walk away, and the guy knows that you are willing to walk away because of your past action. Now since you are showing that you're losing interest, the guy will start changing his behavior. So you must show people that you don't need them. You must make them know that you have more than you are paying and more than you have. So that if you lose them, you will still be ok. This will make them stop such things. If they feel that you are going to dump them, they will respect you more. The feeling that you are about to dump them or the feeling that you are losing interest because of their stupidity will make them respect you. And when they respect you, they will not play these games with you because they know that you're not to be fuck with. It is important to let them know that if they mess with you, you will not be nice anymore, and you'll be downright difficult to deal with If the fuck with you.You are going to communicate that you are not easy to deal with. So you have to be like that with yourself, or you have to realize that people are looking for an easy win and if you don't give them a hard time when they are looking for shit, they are going to keep giving you shit because it feels good to put all your problems into someone. So one thing that you can do is that you should tell him a story of how somebody did the same shit and you dump them. You may say, "I remember one time that one dude kept fucking up with me, and I stop going out with him. I literally told him that we are done because he kept being late to the date, and I found it disrespectful". And he might say, "for real, you dumped him, and you will say yes if somebody messes with me, I will dump him." I am I like you a lot for one second, but if I feel that you are disrespecting me and you are playing games with me, then I will be done with the relationship".Then you can just change the topic, and in his mind, he will know that you are no joke and that you're not a person to you fuck with. That's one way to do it. Tell them a story in the past of how you dump somebody that fucked with you. Know how you feel around themNow the best way to catch them is by knowing how you feel around them. So, you have to be aware of the way you are feeling around them. Usually, they make you feel discomfort around them. Also, they try to put you down. They make you hurt, and you find yourself thinking about what they said for a long time or finding out that they said some things that hurt you, even though you did not feel it during the conversation. Their behavior is recurrent, which means they try to do it repeatedly. They also push you to do things for them, and they only appreciate you when you do what they want. They are moody about you. Today, you are the best person in the world; and the next day, they cannot believe that you exist in the world. What they really do is that they pretend to be on your side while they're working behind your back. They work behind your back subliminally, and they do that when they find out you are vulnerable. They don't hurt you directly, but they hurt you sublimely, and they do that to serve their real purpose. When you start to know them, they really become aggressive whenever they are confronted or whenever they're told that they are wrong. Whenever they feel that they will lose an argument or when they feel that you are winning the argument, they become very aggressive. You can also tell this kind of people through the words that they use, that they try to manipulate you.They try to look really innocent and easy going with you. They tell you that they are not trying to put you down, but then they say something hurtful or negative to you. They start by putting you at ease and tell you that they are not trying to hurt you, that they really like you. Sometimes when you actually face them or confront them with what they are doing, they start telling that it is your fault. That what you did is making them act that way. They even make you pity them by saying that they hate themselves because of how you make them feel or how you behave with them because you are not giving them all to supposed to give them. You should watch for any subtle statement or sarcasm that tries to put you down. These people are very dangerous when they are in contact with you, especially when they're your close friend, a boss, a co-worker, a wife, or a husband. Run for your lifeIf you know someone like this, try to run for your Life stays away from this kind of Personality because they can do some psychological damage to you. Sometimes you may not be able to run away from this kind of person. You might start thinking about someone who will make you feel hot and uncomfortable, but you are not sure why. It is because they're manipulators. They are extremely smart. If they are in business, they are in a leadership position. And because they know how to manipulate and deceive others, they use it to get to what they need in your organization. Most people will actually have values, and they will trespass on the values just to get their own personal game. This type of person will do anything in their power, whether ethical or let go to get what you want. They are in your personal life and in your workplace. Them now, how do you deal with this kind of manipulative people. Develop the right attitudeFirst, you have to develop the right attitude; you have to know that they are one of the most difficult people to deal with. So, you should remember that it is not your fault about the way they're behaving or a reaction to something bad that you have done even if they try to convince you that it is. Another thing you should remember is that you can never win the first square against them, so don't even do that because they don't even play fair, instead what they do need I to be able to maneuver you were around them and also had them. Remember never to get absorbed by their drama, no matter how good they are. Do not allow them to find the stage for the fight because sometimes, they try to prepare, organize, and then set up a fight in a way to favor them. And also, do not trust anything that they say to you. No matter what they say to you, they are sick. You should also have the right preparation and learn about their tactics. You need to learn about how they act around you. Try to expose them. Learn about them than about what they really are. Also, have social support around you that works which are people who support you and are positive around you. This will help to remove the effects of somebody who is Cunny and deceitful. If you can seek help from a supervisor from somebody, then seek help from somebody in authority or somebody who can help you and guide you whether it's a friend or your doctor. It is ok to seek help. It doesn't mean that you are wake. Engage in physical activityThe next thing is to do a lot of activities that boost you morally, like sports. Sports are very good to help you feel good about yourself. Try to have routines, and disciplines that will help you build confidence in yourself, remember that it's not your fault you there, but that does not mean that you are a terrible person that or you are weak. Or that you are bad. If you feel that, then act. Just get up then from the scenario and trying to find smart ways to deal with that hurtful situation again. Most people fall into the trap of such personalities. Think about the right action. Set the Rules of EngagementOne of the right actions to take is to set the Rules of Engagement. When you are dealing with such a person, make sure that you set the rules of engagement in your favor in a way that you will not get hurt. Do not allow them to drag you into their manipulation. Point out the inappropriate behavior. If they do something that does not make you feel comfortable, point it out, bring it up, and insist that they stop that abusive behavior. If they don't stop their behavior, then do not fight with them because you cannot win against them. Refuse to engage in them refuse to tolerate that behavior tells them exactly what you want them to do or what you don't want them to do. You should remember that they can't be outsmarted. Most of them are spoilt kids. So, speak to their sick mind and tell them what it is for them. Prepare very well against them before having any engagement with them. Try to minimize engagement with them. Give them what they want, so that they will give you what you want. Do not give them anything free. Do not excuse their actions, no matter what they do will not excuse them. Even if what they are saying is relevant or true, know that it is he will put you down and able to manipulate you. They are not hurt by what you are doing. And feeling guilty.They pretend to be hurt so that you will feel guilty, and they will control you. You will mostly see these people at work. And most people do not fit this description, but many people do. So, if you're confronted and have to deal with people like this, then you have to be able to trust your gut feeling. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we are doing something wrong because they are very good at manipulating you. So, you have to be able to protect yourself you need to have your own strategy on how to deal with them. Do not be naive why most people are good at their Hearts. This kind of person is not good at the heart. Remember that not everybody will see their deception because they try to create that deception around you. So that you will doubt yourself they might not use, they are tricky on everybody at the same time. They chose their victims carefully. So do not assume that you'll be able to change them; nobody can change them. Even psychologists can fall into their trap occasionally.Share your experiencesOne way that you can do this and help is to share your experiences. Most people are dealing with this kind of thing daily, and it is not easy to deal with. So if you are sharing your experiences with other people, you be able to help other people with ideas, tips, and tricks that you have tried that worked, and things that try did not work. Manipulation is a major problem even if it is only one person at work that it is doing all these things to you. They will turn your workplace into a very difficult, uncomfortable environment. Also, if you have this kind of person at home, they will turn your home environment into a very toxic, unhealthy environment. The world today has produced more of this kind of people than ever because of the corruption that is around us. We also have the same situation around the world because of the high mentality right now. Almost Everybody now does things because of himself, and they don't care about whether other people are losing. If they are confronted with their problem, they will try to fight you, and they will never admit it. So don't waste your time doing that. Instead, become the enemy, and when you become the enemy, You will be put under scrutiny and put you under their deceitful ways. They always find excuses not to believe you, or to even make it out yourself by saying that this is a waste of time what does this people know it is not me that has the problem it is you that has the problem. You should also try to pray and ask God for help always and it will help you get confident and overcome this kind of hurdles. Chapter 10. Tips & TricksChange of environmentOften times, the environment that you are in can determine how people respond to your requests. In a business environment such as the workplace, it is likely that your colleague perceives you as rivals or competitors. As such, they might be unwilling to help you out when you ask them for one thing or the other. To get more favorable answers to your requests, consider asking for favors when you are out for drinks or at an office party. Jim from Finance will be more willing to consider your requests to expedite the invoicing process if you ask him after he's had a few beers at a party as compared to when he is at the office and buried in paperwork. This is because he perceives you as less of a rival when he is having a good time. While at the office breaking his back, Jim considers you as part of the reason why he cannot get home on time.Make it about the other personHere's the thing--you are looking to learn how to manipulate people for your own gain, but you do not have to make that your selling point. Nobody will be looking to help you advance your agenda if you let it know that this is your objective from the get-go. You are more likely to experience success with manipulation if you instead set out to help the other person, while also looking to help yourself. When a person feels that you have helped them get what they want, they will be more likely to also help you get what you want, be it knowingly or otherwise. Instead of always asking your colleagues or friends for favors, offer your help from time to time. This way, the next time you need something from them, they will likely be willing to help.Speak quicklyWhen people do not understand what you are saying because you are speaking quickly, they will give in to your demands. There are two reasons for this: they might be unable to process what you are saying and do not want to look stupid by asking for clarification, or they do not want to process what you are saying because your energy is overwhelming and they do not want to deal with it. Next time you need someone to do something for you, walk up to them and give them swift instructions on what you need done, and then walk away. Do not give them too much time to process what you just said. This especially works when you are in an authority position and are giving instructions to your juniors. You are an important person and do not have the time to slowly elaborate every detail. You need them to be quick on their feet to respond to your demands. This is a tactic that salesmen, especially car salesmen, seem to love. By speaking quickly to your customer and rattling off all the details of this and that car, the customer easily becomes overwhelmed and settles on the next choice that is offered. It might not be in the best interest of the customer, but it is definitely in the best interest of the salesman.Dress nicelyIf you want to make a good impression and gain something from making this impression, you must dress well. Whatever stage you are at in your life, you must make an effort to dress well. Nobody pays attention to raggedly dressed people. The only attention you might get is having people clutch their purses tighter when you approach them. In many stories told about con artists, you'll hear their victims say how the con artist seemed like a trustworthy person based on how they presented themselves.He looked like a nice guy, they say .You look like a nice guy based on how you present yourself--and clothes have a huge role to play in that. If you want to hear yes more often, invest in some nice clothes and shoes. Keep your hair well-groomed. Buy some nice cologne and maybe a nice watch. The way people treat you when you are well put together is different from how they treat you when you look like you have put zero effort in your overall look. A well-groomed gentleman who smells nice and looks great will have an easier time getting what he wants from a woman as opposed to a man who looks like he crawled out of a hole. And remember, you do not have to buy designer labels or the most expensive outfits on the planet to make a great impression--you just have to make it seem like you did.If you do not believe that dressing nicely works, consider this--studies have shown that males who show up in court well-dressed and clean-shaven tend to get more lenient sentences. If dressing nicely works to your advantage in a court of law, there is no reason why it will not work in your everyday life .Scare tacticsNobody likes to be caught flat-footed. Human beings have a survival instinct that includes wanting to be prepared against everything and anything that might be harmful to them. In the world of marketing and advertising, the fear of the unknown is used on a daily basis to convince consumers to spend their money on certain products and services. All you need to do is convince the said consumer that there is a very high likelihood that a particular thing will go wrong and that they need to be prepared for this likelihood by buying your product or service. If human beings did not have a fear of the unknown (and the desire to survive the unknown), the insurance business would not exist. If the insurance business has made it so far, you can also ride on scare tactics and convince people that they need you for an elaborate number of reasons. This tactic works really well if you are hoping to manipulate people into accepting a solution that you are offering. It could also work in personal and workplace relationships depending on the context and the angle you work it.Consistency is keyThere is a saying that goes like this: a person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person. This is something that you must always remember when you are trying to step up your manipulation game. You must remain consistent in your behavior when interacting with everyone around you, regardless of whether that person is your target or not. Consistency is important because you need everyone to think that you are a nice person. If people have conflicting impressions of you based on behavioral mistakes that you have made, the red flags will start to go up. Red flags are the stop signs that will prevent your potential assets and victims from assisting you in furthering your agenda. Stay consistent. Speak the same way to everyone. Let everybody think of you as the charmer who always has a nice thing to say about everyone. You'll win more people over this way, and once you do, you will have an even larger pool of people to manipulate.Silence is goldenSilences make most people uncomfortable. Sometimes, the most effective thing you can do to get information from someone is to remain silent. This way, the other person will be compelled to fill this silence with some talk, thus giving you an opportunity to gather as much information as you want. The trick is to ensure that you say enough so that you encourage them to keep talking. For example, you can repeat the last bit of every statement they make so that they keep on adding more information. An example:I ran into Robert yesterday.Robert?Yes, at the new Chinese restaurant.Chinese restaurant?Yes, the one that opened down the street last month. I was having lunch with a friend.Notice how you have been able to gather additional information without giving anything for in return. You can keep this going for a while, but you do not want to overdo because then it becomes awkward.Play niceThis tip is somewhat related to tip number 6, but also somewhat different. Here's why: in order to get what you want out of people, you must have the patience to play nice even when you are screaming internally. Even the nicest people have their breaking points, and some people seem to have the talent to push you over the edge. You must be careful to always stay positive and begin your conversations on a positive note even when you are nearing your boiling point. For example, if you want a colleague to do something for you (for example, correct a report that they have messed up on), you'll want to phrase your statement in a way that absolves them of the majority of the guilt. For instance, instead of telling them that they are a dummy and have mixed up all the numbers, ask them whether they sent the right report and if they would like to take a second look and send another version. This gets you what you want without making the other person feel foolish, and this is exactly what you want as you need to be able to keep getting what you want from this individual.Replace the I don't think this is right with have you considered…?Carry your crossThere are certain things that you can do that will make people automatically assume that you are a good and trustworthy person, even when really you are not. For instance, wearing a cross necklace or rosary will make others assume that you are a well-meaning Christian with good morals. Once people make this assumption about you, they will lower their defenses when around you and you can manipulate them to do as you wish.A lot of men have figured out that the accessories that you carry along with you can influence the kind of interactions they have with other people (read women). It is for this reason that you will find some men walking their cute dogs (even when they are not really interested in the dog) or taking their pretty nieces along to social events because these two accessories (while not really store-bought accessories) give a great boost to their appeal. A man with either of these two accessories automatically comes across to most women like a decent, nurturing and well-grounded guy who can make a good father to a baby, be it a real one or a fur baby. This might not necessarily be the case, but it is a ploy that has worked for the longest time and continues to be effective to date.This tip does not require you to borrow your nieces or nephews. The point here is that you can create an illusion of who you are by incorporating a few things in your being .Talk that talkIf you sound smart, everybody assumes that you are smart. If you are not articulate with your words and like to use filler words like a teenage girl would, nobody is going to take you seriously. Widen your vocabulary by listening to great speakers and reading books. Watch documentaries about important topics so that you can have serious dinner conversations without seeming like you are out of your depth. People tend to trust intelligent-sounding people, and you need to ensure that your smarts earn you this trust. Sounding intelligent has nothing to do with using big words. In fact, the more you use ridiculous sounding words, the lower your credibility dips. Learn to be measured in your intellect. You do not want to use up all your big words in one night. Come the next night, you will have nothing left to use.Put the data asideSome people will never be convinced unless you have a set of data to back up your claims. Your CEO, for instance, wants numbers and not stories about how you embarked on a marketing campaign that won over customers. Top level management wants to be convinced that you are doing your job by looking at the numbers that you have to show them. However, the vast majority of people don't care for numbers and prefer stories. If you are speaking in front of an audience, you stand to influence them more if you rely on anecdotes to push your message. Anecdotes lend a personal touch to claims and make you seem more relatable. They humanize your message and win you the trust of the audience. Don't worry if you have not had enough experiences to have interesting anecdotes--you can always borrow other people's stories or make up some of your own. It is not a sin to have an