That night, sleep refused to find me. I lay on my hostel bed, eyes wide open, staring at the faint glow of the ceiling bulb while his words replayed over and over in my head.
I don't just want to be your friend.
It was the way he said it not rushed, not uncertain, but steady, like he had carried the thought for a long time before finally letting it slip. My heart had reacted before my brain could catch up. Now, hours later, my chest still fluttered at the memory, like butterflies had found a permanent home inside me.
"Koko," my roommate whispered from the other bunk, her voice laced with curiosity. "You've been tossing since forever. What's going on?"
I considered pretending to be asleep, but I knew she wouldn't buy it. I sighed, rolling onto my side. "It's… him."
That was all it took. She sat up instantly, her eyes gleaming even in the dim hostel light. "Don't tell me. He finally said something?"
I bit my lip, heat rushing to my face. "Kind of. He said he doesn't just want to be my friend."
Her gasp was so loud, I winced. "Finally! I knew it! That boy has been hanging around you like a lost puppy. It was only a matter of time."
I tried to hide my smile beneath the pillow, but she wasn't fooled. She yanked it away and shook her head dramatically. "So? What did you say?"
"I didn't say anything," I admitted softly. "People walked past, and the moment just… broke."
Her face twisted into disbelief. "You mean he dropped a bomb like that and you just let him walk away? Ha! Koko!"
I groaned, covering my face with my hands. "I didn't know what to do. I was shocked. And honestly, what if he didn't mean it like I think?"
"Oh, please." She rolled her eyes so hard I could feel it in the dark. "Boys don't just say things like that unless they mean it. Trust me. The only question is what are you going to do about it?"
That question sat heavy on my chest long after the lights were off again. What was I going to do? My heart screamed one answer, my fear another.
⸻
The next morning, it was as if my secret had spread through the hostel walls. By breakfast, two of my friends cornered me at the cafeteria table.
"So…" one of them began, dragging out the word with a sly grin, "we heard someone had a little romantic encounter yesterday."
I nearly choked on my tea. "Who told you that?"
"Roommate confidential," the other one said smugly, stealing a piece of bread from my plate. "Now spill. What did he say? Did he confess? Did he"
"Nothing happened," I cut in quickly, but my flaming cheeks betrayed me.
They exchanged knowing looks. "Nothing yet," one corrected with a mischievous smile.
I sighed, pushing my food away. "He just said he doesn't want to be friends. That's all."
"That's all?" The girl nearly shouted, earning us glares from nearby students. "Koko, that's everything! He basically said he wants you. What are you waiting for? Christmas?"
Their excitement was overwhelming, but it mirrored the storm already inside me. I wanted to believe them, to let myself fall completely into what he was offering. But the memory of our sudden silence months ago still haunted me. What if it happened again? What if I gave in, only to lose him twice?
"You're scared," one of them said gently, cutting through my thoughts. "But you also can't stop smiling whenever we mention him. Your heart has already chosen. You're just waiting for your mind to catch up."
Her words hit too close. I laughed nervously and shook my head, but deep down, I knew she was right.
⸻
That afternoon, I found myself staring at my phone, his chat open. He hadn't messaged since last night. Typical him dropping a line that could change everything, then vanishing like it was nothing. My thumb hovered over the keyboard. Should I text him first? Should I wait?
Before I could decide, the screen lit up.
Him: Hey. Are you free later?
My heart leaped. I typed back quickly, trying not to sound too eager.
Me: Maybe. Why?
A pause, then his reply came.
Him: I want to talk. Properly this time.
My breath hitched. Properly. No interruptions. No half-finished sentences. Just us.
I stared at the message for a long while before finally typing back.
Me: Okay. When?
Him: Evening. I'll pick you from your hostel.
I shut my eyes, pressing the phone to my chest. This was it. The conversation I'd been waiting for and dreading all at once.
⸻
By the time evening rolled around, my nerves were stretched thin. My roommate hovered beside me as I changed outfits for the third time.
"You're acting like he's taking you to meet his parents," she teased, lounging lazily on her bed.
"It feels like it," I muttered, adjusting my top for the tenth time. "This could change everything."
"Exactly." She grinned, crossing her legs. "So relax and let it. You deserve this, Bisola. Stop overthinking and enjoy it."
I laughed, though my hands trembled as I picked up my bag. My heart pounded against my ribs as my phone buzzed.
Him: I'm outside.
I stared at the message for a second too long. This was it ,the beginning of something, or the end of everything. I inhaled sharply, steadied my racing thoughts, and walked out to meet him.