Memory Passage 1:2
Night descends; red crimson roses spiral out of control. The luster of blood flows through their petals and down to their roots. Time does not stop; it never seeks to be far apart.
Fragments of my memories suddenly flashed across my mind like a violent torrent. Some of them were dark, some were tender. Between the crystal glasses, there was an icy mirror with a silver luster. It could penetrate through one's eye if one were to stare at it.
Was this repressed in my mind?
It seems that when you arrive, the world doesn't allow you to keep your memories of it. Or rather, they are fragmented, difficult to piece together. The mental capacity required is short of impossible; this silver mirror isn't complete.
The silver mirror also seems to become weaker when I walk away from its radius. This is the domain of my own mind.
While walking past the mirror, what my eyes met with was a cold, icy field. The temperature seemed so low that your breath would immediately solidify into a strange dry ice. It was difficult to wipe away, and once you touched it, the meridians in the hand would stop supplying blood, turning the hand a purple shade. This ice seemed to be in conflict with the dark lumps. Once the dry ice solidified, the lumps would decrease in size. This wasn't a good situation; either way, I would suffer.
While I was thinking, I noticed another silver mirror floating right above me.
This one was much larger and carried more memories, although I didn't feel an immediate connection forming. These weren't my memories; they were possibly someone else's. It could also be a trap. I tried to notice its pattern as it moved around the icy domain. These mirrors never seemed to deviate from their paths.
Once the mirror reached its closest proximity to me, I felt a strange electric force piercing through my forehead. It phased straight through. However, it was painful—my brain was in utter anguish. I felt my memories being forcefully sucked out.
Damnit!! This mirror seems to have been a collective formation of various memories from different people. What to do, what to do!!!
It was forcing its way through the depths of my mind, and I could barely think correctly. These mirrors attracted coldness. I felt the chilling aura pervading the air around me, solidifying on my body. It wrapped around my chest, and I felt my heart drop. In a few breaths of time, I would completely turn into ice, and my mind would be devoured by the mirror.
I remembered a detail. Earlier, when the ice solidified itself onto me, the black lumps seemed to disappear. The logic could theoretically be applied the other way. I had no choice; this was the only solution. If i could destroy this mirror, i could absorb the memories inside. Perhaps i could learn more about the world.
To fear, one had to give in to their shattered dreams, hopes, and despair. Even a moment of despair as long as you dont fall for it, then you can climb back from below. This was the human will!, My eyes closed, and I felt a subtle warmth while the ice climbed its way toward my brain.
I lied. I did fear! We all fear!
Sometimes you have to preserve yourself, and in that, the fear comes gradually. I found myself crying profusely. I let my heart feed its worries to the black lumps. They grew all over my body. This was the only way to solve the situation. Even if I had to expose myself to vulnerability, I knew it would be a moment of weakness. But the black lumps only devoured genuine fear.
This was my way of both preserving my life and, once and for all, annihilating the fear in me. The icy domain suffered huge tremors; the mirror started to lose its luster. It cracked.
And before I let the black lumps feed on my very being, I knew that I wanted to live. I didn't want to die. This fear could only take me so far; I couldn't fear anymore. This was the way to fully eradicate it, in a moment of unpredictability. Death was close at hand.
At the moment of death, do we truly see the world for what it is—realize our emotions and deep drives? The story of the man had one thing wrong: even in the moment of death, you could still cling to your true feelings and not give in to despair.
The world shattered into pieces like a deathly pale mirror, and I felt my mind feeding onto the memories of the mirror.
It felt as if my brain was being electrocuted, i felt so much memories being processed, one by one they were forcefully injected into my brain. After seven breaths of time my body finally eased up from its tensed up position. It took some time for my mind to fully consolidate it, some were lost. This wasnt abnormal, but i somehow managed to absorb most of it. While suffering under this, i heard a strange voice resounding. It was deep and profound.
---
"You! I'm truly surprised, insignificant and weak. You dare to go up against the law of the world. All of this can be resolved if you just move. Look around you! All of these people are the people you cherish—family, friends, lover, mentor. Don't you see them reaching for your embrace?"
He stayed silent, even while the Eye was truly grabbing onto his deep attachments. He stayed silent.
"So what if you resolved your fears? Fear can never truly be eliminated. Fear can only be buried and preserved, or nurtured. You are not special. Do you think you're the first one to end up here? Look around you! See the true state of the world. Let me open your eyes. All you have to do is stare into mine. I will allow you to know fear and understand it. Look at you! Pathetic! No identity, no name. Does the world truly care for your existence? Your way cannot be paved because the path you seek to walk is through my world."
For once, he smiled subtly. He spoke enchantingly, as if his lips were giving a word of secrecy—a brushing wind flashing past your ears.
"Fear! This thing that has both doomed and created history is only a fragment of the true essence of the world. Indifference. Indifference to your gaze, indifference to the world, and indifference to the heavens!"
"You want me to move? I'll only move when your gaze lowers below me, and when you stare at me from below. Even if it's a short time, I'll move. And for each step I do, you will be powerless."
The Eye was amused and chillingly called out:
"Die!!"
The force felt like a shattering of the very sound barrier. "At once, I felt my entire body restrained under an immense amount of weight. The burden on my mind intensified. It seemed capable of using its deceptions to invade my mind and cause internal conflicts."
Move! Move! Move!
"My muscles tensed up and started to deviate from my commands. At once, I felt a threatening aura."
"To what avail do you keep suffering? Futile, insignificant. Let me show you the true state of this world."
At once, the world tore down in black flames. I heard screams resounding in every direction—bloodcurdling screams. Desperate ones, anguished ones, and meaningless ones. Cries for help were sometimes overshadowed by others.
"Your blood is but mere liquid, your flesh but a cover of your bones. When you grow old, they will wither just like these roses. Death is only a step of the way. In this world, all beings suffer what is known as the Five Phases of Incarnation! In this world, no one is worth more than the other. All die regardless.
Your memories and all you have been and will ever be will only serve as a means to an end. Your death will not mark anything in the long lines of the deceased. Your world will turn grey, and you will vanish with the remaining light! Come on, walk!"
No matter what it said or implied, the words carried no weight on Falen's heart. He was unmoved and replied coldly:
"The fear inside my heart is but as meaningless as your words. Once I give it weight by thinking, it would allow you to absorb more of my essence. This has been your whole plan. You always knew I was here, but you were incapable of taking action because I never did move, even after several days. And in these days, I have known hunger, coldness, loneliness, and existential dread. While on the verge of death, I came to the realization that death was never that frightening. Death was just boring.
Why not live? This simple logic defied every other purpose in my heart. Simplicity was much easier to understand.
You needn't lie to yourself. I've learned what it feels like to die. This tempting yet haunting hunger gave me more of a reason to live. I want to learn more, experience more—and you! You're in my way. You're something that should be overcome."
While saying this, his heart felt as light as a feather. There were no burdens lingering anymore. All the expectations he knew in his youth, all the emotions he once felt, dissipated into indifference.
He raised his head high, gradually stood with his knees up first. He used his bloody hands to push himself up, and he stood there.
He walked.
Step by step.
"This isn't real. Your illusion never made sense in the first place. You seem to be a direct clone of your real body, you cannot fully replicate your capabilities, if you did then i would die when i tried moving!! Your real power was in feeding off my fear and constructing this world. Your words were fabricated to move me and sway my emotions."
As he walked, piece by piece, the world cracked. The dark lumps also appeared, this time on his face. After fifteen steps, they grew forcefully more. His body started turning heavy. The lumps grew because they never actually disappeared. The ones already rooted on his body were still there. Now, they were detonating one by one, releasing dark aura from their core. It shrouded him.
Twenty steps!
It appeared as if he was covered in black flames while walking. He didn't falter for a second. He kept on walking.
Suddenly, voices started resounding behind him—some familiar, others oddly familiar.
"Falen, do you remember the day our parents died? Father died first. And Mother? She was grieving and utterly heartbroken. Were you there, to be there for her?
"We were once lovers. We tread lightly across the red ribbon of fate, known each other since childhood. Have you already forgotten all the memories? Even the ones you created? You left me, all alone in this world. Where are you?"
"Falen, your future is uncertain. Your past is forgotten. What do you see in your present? The morning dew, the chirping of birds? Who are you, really? Where are you, in the confines of your mind, that you keep yourself a prisoner of?"
Thirty steps!
After walking, the voices gradually turned into bloodcurdling screams again. They invaded his mind and sought to wreak havoc. The faces once familiar faded away like ashes.
"Where will you go? There is no place for you to head to. I haven't been outside my domain. Do you think I can guarantee your survival? What awaits you might be worse! Ask yourself, what is the use of your suffering? You will never die. Born to live eternally in this world, either through spirit or body. I will assure you—you will never die. And you will go through unimaginable pain. You will remember the words I uttered. I will see how far you go…"
Falen, as if he didn't pay attention, slightly smiled. The road ahead was long and lonely, destined to be filled with blood.