When Axel couldn't find Ivan anywhere in the tuition area, he went straight to the hostel. His steps on the stairs were unsteady, uneven, each one landing a fraction too late, as if his body was lagging behind his thoughts.
He gripped the railing harder than necessary, his fingers stiff, knuckles whitening, because it genuinely felt like he could fall at any second if he didn't anchor himself to something solid.
By the time he reached the door, his chest was already tight. He stopped in front of it and hesitated to knock. His hand hovered in the air, fingers curled slightly.
He could feel Ivan nearby, both his scent and that familiar, undeniable pull that told him Ivan was somewhere close.
His heart beat faster, each thud loud enough that it felt like it might give him away. His breathing turned shallow, uneven, breaking apart before it could fully settle.
Get a grip on yourself.
