"Why?!!".
She screamed and sat up from her sleep, tears blurring her vision as they streamed down her cheeks. Her heart raced wildly, ready to burst. Curling into herself, she hugged her knees and sobbed. The pain inside her rose in waves, sharp and relentless.
As the tears finally subsided, she wiped her face and took in her surroundings. A faint, bitter laugh escaped her when she saw where she was.
Is this my punishment?
She looked up at the roof, demanding for some answers from any divine beings if any were there.
"No. I believe this is hell.", She scoffed and answered herself.
The rain was heavy outside with thunders and lightnings clapped loudly after one another. The house was all dark and the raging lightning was the only source of light to show about the view of her surroundings.
Sounds were also muffled due to the storm which was why she failed to noticed the footsteps and let her heart skipped a deep beat when the doors to the house were pushed opened.
"Y-You?" She gasped, barely able to whisper.
Why does he look so young?
Just moments ago, he had a beard, looked mature… but now, he appeared exactly as he had in his teenage years.
"I'm sorry. Here, take this," the boy said softly, pulling out a piece of bread. He broke it in two and offered half to her.
Still stunned, she took it without a word. Even in the dark, there was no way she could mistake him for someone else.
"This will all be over soon, Ina. I'm glad to have such a blessing like you with me," the boy said gently. "Please don't scold me too much…I even brought you bread! Look, I'm much better now!"
He smiled proudly at her as he spoke.
The boy reached out and tried to take both her hands, hoping to calm her. But the moment his hands touched hers, she gasped and immediately pulled away.
He let out a small sigh and tugged at his ears with a sheepish smile.
"Come on, don't be mad anymore, Ina~ I'm really sorry for going out~"
A certain memory suddenly unfolded in her mind as she watched him.
She then gasped, covering her mouth in shock.
She remembered this night.
It was the night before they entered the Magic Academy!
A month before that night, two robbers broke into their home. When she arrived, the robbers were gone, but she found Leon bleeding from a stab wound. She used water magic to try and heal him, pressing her hands to his wound and praying for his life.
Suddenly, the robbers returned after searching the back of the house. They saw her using magic and realised she was more valuable than anything they had stolen. One of them grabbed her, but Leon, despite his injury, clung to the man's leg. The other then robber kicked Leon, reopening his wound and causing his head to bleed.
Seeing Leon in pain, she slowly lost control and used Impure magic. She crushed the robbers into a thorny ball, but her power also began to harm Leon, binding and suffocating him. So, using the last of his strength, Leon pulled her down and kissed her, calming her rage before falling unconscious.
She tried to heal him, but her mana ran out. The magic closed his wounds, but he had lost too much blood. He survived only because of his will and remained unconscious for many days.
"Y-You just fully recovered yesterday, am I right?" She asked.
Leon nodded right away. "Yes. I need to prepare for tomorrow and need some fresh air so we can do what we planned. Forgive me, just this once, Ina."
She couldn't quite grasp what was happening. A part of her wondered if she had truly come back in time…or if this was some kind of hell.
Lost in thought, she didn't notice Leon leaning in closer. When his lips were just inches from hers, she suddenly jerked up from her seat and cleared her throat.
"I understand. I'll go out for a moment then," she said quickly.
She stepped outside, pressing her back against the door and taking a deep breath.
"Am I actually back in time?"
She whispered and walked to the other side of the house where a mirror hung on the outer wall. She then looked at her reflection, and her heart skipped a beat as a wave of joy rushed over her.
"I look so young..."
Her lips trembled. Tears threatened to fall again, but she slapped both cheeks to keep her emotions in check.
Taking a deep breath, she gathered herself and stepped back inside. Leon was already packing and had lit the candles, filling the room with a warm, steady glow.
"Do you think I forgot anything?" Leon asked as he packed.
She ignored his question and sat on the bed near him.
"Leon, would you ever kill me for power?", she bluntly asked.
"What?"
"Would you ever kill me for power?" she repeated, louder and firmer.
Leon cleared his throat.
"No, Ina. Why would I ever do that to you? Look…"
He stood up and sat beside her, but she immediately shifted away when their bodies touched.
"I know tomorrow is a big day and your mind is probably running wild with all kinds of thoughts, but trust me. I would never harm you. Everything I've managed to do is because of you, Ina. You're all I have."
Leon sighed, confused by how distant Ina seemed that night. He figured it was just nerves about entering the Magic Academy the next day.
He leaned back, supporting himself with both hands on the bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
"Ina, I'm always grateful my parents brought you into our home. It felt like gaining a little sister. But as we got older... that gratitude started to change."
"I don't want to be your brother, Ina. I know it might be hard to understand, but... I just hope you'll leave a little space for me in your heart."
She knew exactly what he meant.
But even as he spoke with such sincerity, the weight of the past pressed heavily on her chest. If Leon truly liked her, if he truly cared, then why did he do those things to her? Why did he keep asking for forgiveness, only to hurt her again, all in the name of "their" cause?
He had sacrificed her in the end. Not for survival, not out of desperation, but for his own ambition. And the worst part was that he asked her to believe in him until the very end.
"I think your actions are clear, Leon," she said quietly, looking away. "I should also leave a space for myself."
She glanced at him, at the young, untainted version of Leon. He hadn't done any of it yet. But he would. Deep down, she knew he would walk the same path. And despite how much she had loved him for as long as she could remember, that night made her realise something even more painful…she had never truly loved herself.
Leon laughed softly, misreading her words. "I knew you wouldn't understand my words~"
He stood up and shut the suitcase with a gentle click, a shy smile still on his face.
"Let's sleep now Ina, a big day awaits us tomorrow!", Leon chirped with a grin and prepared his bed to sleep.
Mr. and Mrs. Bracath, Leon's parents, had died because of Torpan Gramil. That was why they had decided to enter the Academy. It was the only path that could lead them to him.
She lay on her bed, facing the wall while Leon was already fast asleep on his bed.
"I didn't learn much about magic," she whispered to the silence, "because Impure magic took hold of me. What good would entering the Academy again as a maid do to me?"
She let out a long, heavy sigh. Her thoughts were tangled, everything felt unclear. The past, the future, both pressing in on her, making it hard to breathe.
Turning to her side, she blinked in the dim light. It felt strange... and oddly comforting to be young again. No aching joints, no sharp pains in her back, no constant coughing. Her body was light, whole.
She didn't even realise when sleep quietly claimed her.
"The carriage we paid for just came," Leon announced, looking freshly dressed and unexpectedly charming in his formal suit.
When he spotted Ina still in her casual clothes, lying on the bed, his expression turned sharp.
"Why are you still not dressed, Ina? Make haste!" he scolded.
"Oh..." she murmured, blinking away the last traces of sleep.
It had been so long since she last slept that peacefully. Her body still felt light, and the warmth of rest clung to her skin. With a soft sigh, she got up and began changing into her maid outfit.
Soon after, the two of them climbed into the carriage. Leon, began reviewing their plan, how they should act at the Academy, the roles they'd agreed to, the lies they'd have to live.
But she wasn't listening.
Her eyes drifted to the window, watching the passing trees and shifting hills. The world outside moved, but her mind felt still, stuck somewhere between the past she remembered and the future she was walking into once more.
She began reminiscing...
The Bracath family… they had been humble, kind-hearted farmers. They lived simply, selling crops and vegetables at the market to survive. Mrs. Bracath was the one who first found her as a dirty, hungry street orphan who had stolen mangoes at just eight years old. Raised by an old beggar woman who passed away when Ina was five, she had known nothing but the streets. But instead of punishing her, Mrs. Bracath chased her down, learned her story, and slowly brought her into their family.
Life with them had been warm, if modest. But then everything changed.
Torpan Gramil came. He took their land by force, and though the family managed to buy another, it was poor and barren. Crops failed. Hunger returned. With no choice, the Bracaths went to work at Gramil's new Research Tower, where labor was hard but pay was decent, enough to get by, but barely.
Ina first discovered her magic at ten. At twelve, she healed Leon's wounds after he fell from a tree, pressing muddy water to his bleeding knees, praying it would work… and it did. But the Bracaths warned her to never use magic where others could see.
But she broke that rule at thirteen.
An old woman in the market fell and slit her wrist on broken glass. It was bad… too bad to wait for help. She reminded Ina of the woman who had once raised her, and she couldn't walk away. She used her magic and saved her.
But she had been watched.
Grandmage Gerom and his disciples had been passing through. He approached her directly, tested her on the spot, and marked her with his mana. He told her it was her choice whether to come to the Mage Tower and register her name in the 'Book of El'.
She returned home, hiding the truth, because that night, Leon was extremely happy with the cake his parents brought for him for his birthday.
But that was their last gift and soon died afterwards.
The house was filled with silence and grief. And in that silence, she told Leon about her day and her meeting with the Grandmage.
Then, as if summoned by her confession, Grandmage Gerom arrived, drawn by the mana trace he left on her. Ina stepped forward, calm and tired. She said she would go with him.
Before leaving, Gerom handed her a small pouch, heavy with gold. She still remembered his words clearly, the way he looked at her.
"You have beautiful eyes, child. This is a gift from your family…but it will be the last."
With the gold from Grandmage Gerom, they finally had money, but it brought little comfort. That night, they cried bitterly, haunted by the thought that if the money had come just a little sooner, they might have saved Leon's parents.
Two days later, they went to the Magic Academy. To hide her identity, Ina registered under the name Leon Gargain. The mages on duty that day were descendants of pure blood and barely bother to look at her. They didn't question her false name and wanted her gone quickly. Fortune favored them further because Grandmage Gerom was also absent that day.
With two years left before officially entering the Academy, they began preparing for revenge. They used most of the gold to illegally buy magic books from a mixed-blood merchant so Ina could secretly train. More was spent on necessities and appearances, crafting the illusion that they were backed by a noble pure-blood family.
Present time…
She sat in silence, watching Leon sleeping peacefully before her.
"Leon... You took the role of the mixed-blood because you said I'd be targeted, bullied by pure-bloods. You said you didn't want me to suffer more… because of my past." She paused, her chest tightening."But being your maid… all you ever did was treat me like one. No…. You forgot I was even human."
Her voice cracked as she continued,
"You never loved me." A sigh escaped her lips, heavy and bitter."But I have no right to blame you… because I was the one who let it happen."
She turned to the window, eyes fixed on the night beyond.
"What am I supposed to do now?" she whispered, lost. "Why did I even come back here? I should've just died."
___________________________________________________
As she looked out from the carriage window, the gates of the Academy loomed ahead. A shiver ran down her spine. Every instinct screamed at her to turn back, to flee. Her fingers curled tightly around the edge of the window, especially when she caught sight of Amara standing by the entrance, fury etched into her face.
Why did her mind always go blank when she tried to imagine a path that didn't lead to Leon? Was his grip on her truly so strong? Why couldn't she see any other way than to follow him -- straight into that hellhole?
…..
…..
…..
Her dazed, zombie-like trance was shattered by a voice. A voice that had never spoken anything but curses. A voice that had only ever brought pain.
A Praise?
It took her a moment to process it, to believe it had come from her of all people.
She tilted her head slowly to be sure. And yes, it was from her. Amara, the girl who had stood there, watching as she was violated, smiling through it all with sick satisfaction.
Her fist tightened. Whatever might happen in this second life, she could not allow Leon and Amara to become allies again. No matter what, she had to keep Leon away from Amara.
But then… why did those crimson eyes, the same ones that once looked at her with hatred and disgust, now seem so bright? So soft?
With that softness, those crimson eyes almost looked… beautiful.
She watched as Amara pulled her maid away…she couldn't shake the feeling…something about her was different.