"Hey."
That single word appeared on every screen in the entire city at exactly 3:00 a.m. Phones lit up, computers glitched awake, billboards on the sides of skyscrapers flickered from ads to that one word in bold white text: "HEY." No sender. No message. No explanation. Just… Hey.
John Sodus was half-asleep in his trash-filled apartment when his cracked phone screen glowed in the dark. He squinted one eye open. The screen said: HEY. Then it exploded. Literally. His phone sparked, popped like a mini firework, and died in smoke.
"What the heck?" he said, slapping it onto the table while it sizzled. He opened his curtains. Outside, the skyline had gone full creepy — giant digital billboards, holograms, all displaying the same word. HEY.
Across the city, another person woke up: Kimber Likey, a caffeine-addicted gamer girl who had at least eight monitors in her room. She was streaming Roblox obbies at 2:59 a.m. to absolutely no viewers when all eight monitors suddenly blinked black and then showed: HEY. Every single one. Even her smart fridge said HEY.
She screamed, "Bro WHAT?!" and flung her Taco Bell Baja Blast at the screen. The blast exploded like a grenade. She tripped over her chair and crawled to her keyboard. "Who the heck is H-E-Y?? Hello?? Hacker?? Xbox?? FBI?? Quadratic Formula??" But nothing replied.
Thirty miles away, Batus Baro Andutus, a mysterious gangster in a tuxedo and flip-flops, was riding a flaming Lamborghini made of solid gold. His car radio started saying "HEY" in a distorted robotic voice. Then his GPS changed to: "HEY. HEY. HEY." It wouldn't stop.
He threw his sunglasses at the windshield and roared, "STOP HEYING ME!" He pressed a big red button. The Lamborghini transformed into a giant chicken mech and stomped down the highway.
Meanwhile, deep underground, in a hidden bunker, a council of elite weirdos called **The Sigma Shadow Assembly** gathered around a round table shaped like Ohio. Their leader, a bald man with sunglasses named **KellanBigMoney**, stood up.
"The prophecy has started," he said. "The word… has spoken…"
Everyone gasped. One guy in the corner named **Coems** just said, "Coems skibidi hey toilet ohio sigma" and nodded like he understood everything.
KellanBigMoney banged his fist. "We must find the source of this 'HEY' transmission before it destroys the world. Assemble every chaotic entity known to mankind."
One by one, they summoned random warriors and chaotic beings:
- Dr. Sussy, the scientist who communicates through Amogus noises
- Saint Skibidi, a floating head who sings cursed Gregorian Skibidi chants
- Commander Ohio, a military leader who only speaks in TikTok sound effects
- Batus Baro Andutus arrived riding the giant chicken mech
- Kimber Likey crashed into the bunker with a broken gaming chair
- John Sodus literally broke in through a wall like a Kool-Aid man yelling "WHO EVER SAID HEY BETTER PAY MY PHONE BILL"
The bunker shook as they all argued.
KellanBigMoney raised his hand. "Silence. The word is haunting this city. But rumor says… it came from someone called 'The Original Sigma'... also known as... **Macaronius Prime**."
Everyone gasped.
John Sodus squinted. "Who the heck is Macaronius Prime??"
Coems just whispered, "coems macaronius hey coems skibidi yee yee."
Kimber scrambled over. "Y'all, my fridge is still saying HEY. If we don't stop this soon all my Hot Pockets will rot due to emotional damage."
Suddenly, a massive explosion rocked the bunker. Concrete dust flew. From the smoke, a giant 8-foot raccoon wearing sunglasses and gold chains stepped in. It pointed at everyone slowly and said in a deep voice: "Hey."
Everyone screamed. Dr. Sussy fainted and said "amogus" as he collapsed.
KellanBigMoney pulled out a gold-plated shotgun made of Bitcoin. "Raccoon King. Why have you come?"
The raccoon pulled out a pair of AirPods and placed them in his ears. He said "Hey" one more time, then pressed a button. All the screens in the bunker showed the word HEY again, burning bright.
John Sodus was fed up. He grabbed a folding chair and WWE-slammed the raccoon in the face so hard that both of them flew across the bunker. The raccoon spat out a tooth and screamed, "HEY!" louder.
That's when a tall figure slowly walked into the bunker, wearing a trench coat made of ramen noodles. His eyes glowed like microwave lights. He whispered, "Hey…"
Everyone fell completely silent, frozen in fear.
Kimber asked in a whisper, "...Macaronius Prime?"
The figure nodded slowly. "It is I. The Original Sigma."
Lights flickered. Pipes burst. The word HEY echoed across all screens again. The world was shaking.
Macaronius Prime raised his hand. "You cannot stop the hey. The hey is eternal. You are all merely participants in the Great Hey."
John Sodus yelled, "NO!!" and tried to punch him, but his fist stopped mid-air like hitting an invisible wall.
Macaronius Prime smirked and whispered, "Hey there," and John flew backward across the room into a vending machine.
Suddenly, a mysterious masked figure kicked the door open with a katana and yelled: "HEY, YOUR MOM!!"
Everyone turned. It was **Kimber's long-lost cousin: Jaximus OhioFlex III**, the meme samurai.
He clashed blades with Macaronius Prime, sparks flying. Every time their blades struck, screens across the city blinked "HEY" repeatedly like a heartbeat.
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**END OF PART 1**