She would have wallowed in sadness of Myung Hwan's departure longer had she not found Ki Jun smoking that day. Her class finished early. And, not seeing Jin Yang anywhere near her class (usually he waited for her to have lunch together), she ventured her steps to Ki Jun's class. His class had finished, but he was nowhere to be seen. Feeling it rather odd, she asked around but nobody could tell where he was.
So she took a turn and went out to the back of the school, knowing that it was a shorter way from there to the cafeteria. And there she found him, leaning on one corner of the wall, a cigarette in one hand, the other deep in his pocket, looking far into the distance.
For Ga Eun, smoking equals to all the unhealthy things in the world. It's definitely wrong in her dictionary. She was so shocked she stood in silence for several seconds before she screamed, "YAH! SEO KI JUN! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING???"
Ki Jun turned and saw her, and for the first time ever, she saw fear in his eyes. Fear for her anger.
"Why are you smoking? THROW IT AWAY!" she approached him, grabbed the cigarette in his hand and after taking it with blatant disgust, threw it to the nearest bin.
Ki Jun didn't fight her, only burying his hands in his pocket and stared at her.
"Why are you smoking? How long has this been going on?"
At that point he avoided looking at her and turned away.
"Seo Ki Jun! Answer me!"
He couldn't bring himself to say anything, cowering under her furious eyes.
"If any of the teachers find you, you'll be expelled! You who always boast that you're slicker than any of those stupid teachers! Why are you smoking? Huh? Tell me! You're not the kind of guy who'll just do it to be cool. There must be something wrong. Tell me! Tell me why are you doing this?"
".....Mianhae."
"I don't need your apology. I need an explanation!"
He looked at her, his expression told her that he had a lot in his mind.
"What's wrong? Are you in trouble?"
"I....um—yeah."
"What is it? What's happening?"
"Had a fight with Abeoji."
"You? Why?"
"He....found out my sketchbooks and asked what it was all about. I said I like to design clothes. And that I want to study it in university....."
She gasped in complete surprise.
"What did he think about that?"
"He screamed a lot and told me that I have to run the store. Make it bigger and those kinds of crap. I told him it's not what I have in mind. It got worse and he said if I insist, I'd have to leave the house and he won't ever give me a cent again....."
"Oh my God.....he can't be serious...."
"Oh yes he is, Ga Eun-ah. I know him well enough. He always means everything he says."
"And then....what did you say?"
"I said I don't give a fucking care."
"Oh my God!"
Ki Jun shrugged.
"I'm not gonna listen and not learn designing, Ga Eun. Though this is Abeoji. I just can't. I need to do it."
"....I know. I know it's what you really want."
"I need to do it," he said once more.
"But he's your father, Ki Junnie. You can't always be angry with him."
"I don't want to, Ga Eun. But this is something very important for me."
"And—and you'll still do it though you'll be thrown out from your own house?"
"Yes."
"How will you pay your school?"
"I'll work. You can. Why can't I?"
"If you need my help, you'll tell me, right?"
"This is my trouble. Not yours."
"I'll help you, Ki Junnie....."
He smiled. The first genuine one since they started the conversation.
"Come on, we'll have lunch first. You'll feel better with a full stomach," she suggested, pulling at his hand.
He followed her.
"Wait. Do you still have more cigarettes?"
They stared at each other, almost menacingly.
He could never lie to her.
"Yeah."
She outstretched her hand, "Give it to me."
He dug his pocket and gave the cigarette box to her. She opened it, and shrieked when she saw it was already half empty. She broke it all in halves and threw it to the bin.
"Give me the lighter too," she ordered.
He took it from his uniform jacket and she threw it into the bin too.
"I don't want to see you using that ever again. Don't, okay?"
"Ahrasseo," he said, walking together with her. Before they reached the cafeteria, he asked, "Ga Eun?"
"Ne?"
"Am I wrong?"
"For smoking, yes. For fighting with your father, yes. But for insisting to reach your dream, no."
"So I'm not wrong?"
"No. Go to fashion design school, learn everything you need to know, and make your father proud one day."
"Thank you" he said, full of gratitude. "Thank you. That's exactly what I need to hear."
"You can't be anything but a designer. But it's not going to be easy."
"I know."
"Let's put off thinking about it until after lunch, shall we?"
"I agree. But you haven't told me about Lee Myung Hwan's departure yesterday."
Her face turned sadder and he turned to her, hating her troubled look
"You cried last night didn't you?"
"Yes," she whispered, "But can we put off thinking about it until after lunch too?"
"Aye, aye, Captain Kim!"
She chuckled.
"Oh look, there's Jin Yang!" she waved to him. "Let's go take our food, I'm hungry."
They passed the lunch in peace, temporarily freeing themselves from heavy thoughts.
*********************************
Jin Yang and Ki Jun were walking home together from school one day, Kang Jun had been kicking and playing with a pebble the whole block, looking sullen and full of thoughts. He almost hit an electricity pole when Jin Yang suddenly asked, "Do you think she realizes I'm here at all?"
"Huh?" Ki Jun inquired dumbly as he avoided the pole.
"Ga Eun. Do you think—she realizes what I—wish for this whole time?"
Ki Jun took a good look at his friend's face. Jin Yang looked....exhausted. Like he had been walking around in circles to find only dead ends everywhere.
"Ki Jun-ah," Jin Yang began.
He looked so uncharacteristically serious that Ki Jun wished he didn't have to have this conversation. At all.
"Yeah?" he asked carefully.
"I'm tired."
It took a while before Ki Jun managed to respond with, "So what do you want?"
"I want to be someone important to her. I want to—have a relationship with her. You know I've always wanted to."
"She really likes someone else. I've told you that a long time ago, right? But you said you won't give up trying."
"I don't want to give up," Jin Yang said, exasperation filled his tone, "But I'm wondering until when will I just be a mere acquaintance for her.
Ki Jun was torn between knowing that Ga Eun was currently broken because Myung Hwan just left, or to his wish that she would finally wake up from her dream of happily ever after with that guy.
And there's also his own problem to deal with, he mused.
"You know her the most. Tell me what I should do to make her like me."
"Look, Abeoji is driving me nuts recently, so I don't feel particularly creative right now. But if it's Ga Eun....anything you made by yourself would make her heart flutters."
"What do you mean?"
"A letter. A sincere confession. A crazy dance. A homemade food. You know? Those kinda things. She likes something that is originally from you. I mean—um—" Ki Jun dug his brain for words. "Something that you prepared yourself and not bought with money. Something you need to put your heart and mind upon. If you do that kind of things, I don't promise she'll like you straightly, but you'll be cooler in her eyes."
"Jjinjja?"
"Absolutely," Ki Jun said firmly.
"Something I prepared?"
"Yup."
Jin Yang stood deep in his thoughts for a while, Ki Jun waited as other students walked past them. And then he saw Jin Yang's face get brighter.
An idea, perhaps?
"I think I know what to do. Gomawo!" Jin Yang exclaimed excitedly, "If I want to do it, I better start preparing now!"
And then he ran back to their school.
"Oi! You're not going home?"
"No! Mian! You go ahead!"
Shrugging, Ki Jun turned around and continued his walk home.
********************************