Chapter 51:
Biohazard Mission Report, March 28.
I am a member of Umbrella Corporation's security squad. Today, we received a strange order: eliminate the monsters that escaped from the Umbrella Corporation—codename: zombies.
Biohazard Mission Report, March 29.
We successfully arrived at the mission site—a remote village steeped in eerie silence. I assumed the zombies had wiped out everyone, but I quickly realized I was wrong.
Biohazard Mission Report, March 30.
Although the zombies were numerous, their abilities were only at the Genin level, so they weren't difficult to handle—until one of our squad members let their guard down and got attacked.
Biohazard Mission Report, March 31.
It started with a fever, then the skin began to rot. His eyes turned white. Eventually, the infected teammate also became a zombie. Although he couldn't use ninjutsu anymore, he retained his Jōnin-level physical prowess. The sudden transformation caught us off guard, and we lost three more squad members.
Biohazard Mission Report, April 11.
Even after raising our alert level, we still lost another team member. We discovered that zombies had no vision or sense of smell. They relied entirely on hearing to locate us. Their vitality was terrifying—unless you decapitated them, they ignored all lethal injuries. Even if their legs were severed, they'd crawl after living targets.
Biohazard Mission Report, April 12.
We found a cemetery. People who were supposed to be dead were crawling out of their graves. That's when we realized: what escaped from the Umbrella Corporation wasn't the zombies themselves—but a virus that could turn people into zombies.
Biohazard Mission Report, April 13.
Someone claiming to be from S.H.I.E.L.D. showed up, bringing orders from Umbrella's higher-ups and taking over our mission.
Biohazard Mission Report, April 18.
I just learned that the Umbrella Corporation is now a subsidiary of S.H.I.E.L.D.
...
Orochimaru was thrilled. He instinctively stuck out his tongue to lick his own face, but alas, Gray Wolf's tongue was too short and could only reach the corner of his mouth.
Naturally, this report had been meticulously fabricated by Shunhi—costing him no small amount of brainpower. The goal was to deceive Orochimaru and exaggerate the Umbrella Corporation's threat level.
And the second reason? Don't ask. Just say it's for redemption. After all, the most unreasonable force in this world is the protagonist's halo. So what if you have a system? You still have to give face to Naruto and Sasuke.
All those seemingly coincidental intel giveaways were groundwork Shunhi laid in advance—just to pave the way for redeeming himself later.
As for whether Orochimaru would relay this to the Hidden Leaf Village, Shunhi had no idea.
In any case, he'd already done everything he could. Even if Naruto and Sasuke came asking in the future, he could just push the blame onto Orochimaru. But honestly, Shunhi figured Orochimaru probably would tell them.
As the best escape artist in the ninja world, Orochimaru would never put all his eggs in one basket. While working for S.H.I.E.L.D., he'd definitely pass some intel to the Leaf Village too. That way, whether S.H.I.E.L.D. wins or the Leaf wins, Orochimaru could survive—if not with merit, then at least with effort.
Orochimaru's current philosophy: don't aim for great achievements—just stay alive.
"Now then, let me study the Hulk a little."
Ever since Shunhi left, the Hulk had stood motionless in front of Orochimaru, like a deactivated corpse.
"Looks like it's not Gray Wolf who has control over the Hulk—it's S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Deputy Director."
While observing the five Hulks, Orochimaru took out a kunai to pry open one of their skulls. But the blade wasn't nearly strong enough—it couldn't even pierce the Hulk's scalp.
His kunai was bent out of shape by Shunhi's Hulk. Staring silently at the warped weapon, Orochimaru fell into a moment of contemplation.
Indeed, in this world, there's no such thing as something absolutely straight. As long as the force is strong enough, anything can be bent.
Not only a great scientist, but also a great philosopher—Orochimaru had once again gleaned some strange life insight from the moment.
...
"Sasuke, what are you doing here?" Seeing him arrive, Karin hurriedly set down her research, speaking with delight.
Even though Sasuke was already married, that didn't stop Karin from liking him. After all, what if he got divorced one day? What if Sakura died someday? Who knows?
This is what you call the ultimate simp. Among all battle-hardened simps, she is the founder, the patron saint of simping.
Most simps give up when their crush gets married. Not Karin.
What? He's married? No problem. I'll wait for his divorce. Or for his wife to die. Either works.
"There's been some developments in the ninja world. Team Taka needs to regroup," Sasuke said calmly.
Team Taka's roster: brooding powerhouse Sasuke, shameless prankster Suigetsu, kind and steady Jūgo, and the ultimate simp Karin.
"Of course!" Karin nodded eagerly. As long as she could be by Sasuke's side, she was happy. Simps have simple hopes.
Of course Sasuke knew how Karin felt about him. Both Sakura and Karin were simping for him. The reason he chose Sakura? Because Naruto liked her.
Only by severing Naruto's feelings for Sakura completely could Sasuke have Naruto to himself. But Sasuke never imagined—there existed not only simps for him, but simps for Naruto too.
A classic case of "mantis stalking the cicada, unaware of the oriole behind."
Honestly, Karin never accepted that Sasuke ended up with Sakura. They were both simps—so why did she lose? Was Sakura better at simping? Was her simping not good enough?
"This mission will be dangerous."
S.H.I.E.L.D., Umbrella, and the suspected traitor Orochimaru.
Sasuke was no longer the man who once discarded comrades so easily. Now, he cared for his teammates—especially one who'd been simping for him for years, and doing a pretty good job of it, too.
Even a jagged rock will be worn smooth if someone licks it long enough.
"It's okay. No matter when, I'll always be there for you, Sasuke," Karin said with a bright smile. This was the first time Sasuke had shown her concern.
"...After the Chūnin Exams are over, I'll come find you again."
Leaving Karin to stew in her delusions and giggle to herself, Sasuke turned away with a complicated expression.
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