Rin
I couldn't sleep. My bed was warmer than usual. Or, I guess, it was my body that was warmer than usual. Ever since Lord Von Leer helped me earlier today, I've been warm. My perpetual cold was gone.
It was a nice feeling, at first, finally free from the torment of the cold. But now, having been like this for an extended period of time, it was unsettling. Like my Will had gone quiet. I could still feel it, unleash it, but every time I did, it didn't come with the same feeling as essence moved through my body. It felt sluggish.
Even if I created physical ice, it wasn't as cold as it used to be.
Figuring it was lingering essence in my Will, Lord Von Leer having probably used Imbue to warm me up faster, I didn't focus too much on the change.
Hopefully, it'll dissipate on its own.
However, that wasn't the main reason I couldn't find relief in sleep.
The real reason was obvious.
My failure in front of the Lords has left a lingering distaste in my mouth. And my body. And my very being.
The more I thought about it, the more my stomach twisted and spun.
I embarrassed myself, in front of all of them.
The last, and most annoying, reason sleep didn't come easily, was because the party was still going on in full force. Despite my room being on the opposite end of the estate, some special tradition they were doing came with loud noises and subtle rumbling I could feel from here.
It was obnoxious, it made me feel nauseous, and it annoyed me to no end.
All these fancy artifacts in the estate, and they never considered investing in sound limiters!?
By the Monarchs! How do they expect anyone in the nearing city blocks to get any sleep with that racket going on?!
Actually… I guess they wouldn't be sleeping either.
…
Finally, after many long excruciating minutes, the noise had ceased, and the planned time for guests to begin leaving came.
But, all that mattered to me, was that peace and quiet once again enveloped my room.
With the noises gone, I could finally sleep!
…
It's been just over another hour.
I'm still hot, and my mind raced just as loud as ever!
I get it's winter, but this whole estate is already warm. Why would they add to that… With. Thick. Sheets!?
Kicking off the sheets, the cold breeze of air hit my sweaty body. Climbing up the sleeves of my night garments, and washing my limbs in a sweet, cool feeling.
As the air cooled my sweat, a relaxing feeling came over me. The familiar sensation of being cold was joyful…
…wait.
I'm sweating?
Sitting up in a jolt, I ran the back of my hand over my forehead.
It came back slightly wet, and glistening in the moonlight.
Slumping back into the bed in a poof, I tossed my arms away, defeated.
Nothing felt right.
…
More time had passed. I stopped counting after I opened the window.
I'm still hot.
Too hot. It doesn't make any sense. I should be freezing by now with the window opened. It's even snowing. So why am I still hot?
…
Once it was a few hours till sunrise, I decided that sleep had evaded me tonight. It was a battle I had never expected to lose.
Sleep deprived, but determined to start the day, I got out of bed earlier than usual. Skipping my morning run, I headed down to the Training Floor.
As the elevator doors opened without a noise. I quickly skipped through the Training Studio, wanting to work on my Will as much as possible, passing through the doors leading to the hallway.
Standing in front of the Sparing Studio door, I slid it open just as silently as the elevator doors.
Holding it ajar, the flashing of fluctuating light shone from inside, causing me to hesitate.
With a shake of my head and a sigh, I threw the door open and headed inside, closing them behind me.
There, in the center of the room, moving through practice forms, was Lavinia.
Of course she's already awake.
Dressed in simple white leggings and a sleeveless top, it exposed the defined contractions and flexing of the lines on her lean muscular build.
Muscles rolled across her body like a wave as she made her way through the movements. Activating one body part after another.
Her legs moved gracefully, flowing like a dancer on the tips of her toes, before slamming down with force, catching the weight of her body
Her arms swayed and twisted like water, carrying the momentum of her movements to keep balance, until a sudden strike forward with power.
She'd move from form to form, her hair, tied up in a high bun, bobbing along with her body.
The glowing, mythical light of essence would steadily spread from her core, streaming down the many channels of her body. Light would shine from her sternum, down her belly, and into her legs, providing support. Another stream of light would concentrate in her chest, palpitating with her breath and heart. More streams of light would flow down her arms, one or both at a time, before shooting out from her extremities as her hand shot forward. Streaking across the chamber, bathing the room in a beautiful show of light.
Everything was in perfect control. The streams balanced each other in harmony. Every step, sway of her arms, contraction of her muscles, and expansion of her lungs were calculated along with her essence. No strength in a movement was wasted, and no leak or flicker of her essence was uncalled for.
She moved like a practiced veteran, having done these forms hundreds of times.
Her face scrunched in concentration, but at ease of emotions.
Until a sudden scowl snapped across her face, and at the end of her current form a flashing bolt of light shot out… right at me.
Startled from the harmless projectile, I jumped back. Nearly tripping onto my rear.
Quickly straightening myself in composure. "What in the Monarchs was that for?!" My voice echoed as it carried through the chamber.
She showingly lowered her arms, completing her form as she exhaled loudly. "You were just standing there, watching. It got annoying." She snapped. "I thought I should let you know… it's creepy, and rude."
Grabbing a handkerchief that was tucked in her leggings waistband, she dabbed her face dry of sweat.
Raising my hands to retort. "Well, you didn't have to–!" Scratching the back of my neck. "Oh, whatever." I muttered. "Why'd you stop? You were just getting into form."
"We should talk." She said, lowering the handkerchief, whipping her arms. "What are you doing up?"
Her face relaxed a bit, trying to look reassuring. Her voice along with it. "How are you feeling?"
I shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. As for why, well…" I trailed off. "I came to get a head start on training today."
"Then you should run. Like the beginning of every day."
"Well, why are you up so early?" I asked, evading, still shouting across the hall.
"It's not early."
Lowering my head a bit, we kept quiet for some time.
The gap of silence was long, but felt so unbelievably short. As if having something to say, or having something in need of saying made all senses of a conversation threatening.
"I… can't." I eventually said through gritted teeth, responding to her previous statement. "Running won't fix where I need to improve."
Done drying herself, her arms fell flat by her sides. "All forms of training culminate to an overall improvement. You want to grow a stronger Will? Increase your stamina. Improve your essence efficiency. You know that."
"You don't understand. That won't help!" The echoes in the chamber reverberated for longer. Clenching my hands, they shook in restrained anger. "I don't need essence efficiency, or more essence. I need stronger essence! I need my Will to do it's damn job! Be what it's meant to be!" Lowering my head more, I looked at the floor ahead of me. My hair dropped down, obscuring my eyes.
Despite being over twenty meters away, she marches closer. "You think I don't understand the need to improve? Grow?! Not just 'in time', but as quickly as possible. You think I don't understand trying to prove to others I can handle their expectations. And responsibilities! Yet wanting to be free of it more than anything! You think I don't understand comparing myself to the level of others!?" She threw her handkerchief to the ground. Her steps emanated with more power, her voice harsher, "Pushing yourself past limits won't help you! The worst pain of progress is how slow it is! It sucks, I know. But you just have to accept that, and continue anyway!" Reaching me, she pushed my shoulder with muted strength. "Looking down at yourself will only make everything harder. Some people are born with natural talents. Most of them let that carry them as far as it can go, and stop there. But what takes people farther are skills. Things practiced. Improved upon. Controlled. And Refined. That's what you're doing. You're refining your skills. You're… mastering your Will. It all culminates. Even if a step back turns heads away, don't use that as an excuse to think it's a reason to stop. Because… at the end of the day, you're not doing it for them. You're doing it for you." She grabs both my shoulders, squeezing them tight. "Because you're still worth it. You still… must grow!"
There was a long pause as her words settled in the room and the echo ceased.
Raising my head, we locked eyes. Tears had welled up in her lids, but refused to fall.
A faint grin spread across my face. "Asher told you that, right?"
Her eyes contracted, holding back the tears. "Something of the sort." Letting go of my shoulders, she shrugged. "I added my own spirit to it." She chuckled with a sniffle.
"Alright." Nodding my head slowly. "You've made your point. But… right now, I'm still not going on my run."
"Good!" She exclaimed, whipping her eyes dry. "Cause I want you to spar with me."
"What?!" I blurted out.
"I'm Fatigued, slightly. I hate being Fatigued. So, just a Basic duel. No weapons or Will usage."
"That's not what I meant. I mean, why the spar? I've barely been combat trained. I want to improve my Will, not my fighting capabilities."
"Did you not listen to what I said?! You're refining your skills. It all cumulates! Your Will improves with your body, and your body improves with your Will. Lacking strength in one will only hinder the growth of both." She stared at me sharply, studying my reaction. Only to then relax a moment later. "Besides. I need to keep warm."