Siya's POV
I don't know what's happening between us.
Maybe I've done things wrong.Maybe I've hurt her too.
I've never been good with reasons—memories confuse me—but I know one thing:I don't want to lose her.
Lunch break started.
Era was absent.Shela looked at us and laughed.
"What happened to you sticky birds?" she teased."Fight?"
"No," we said together.
She shrugged."Good. Even if it did, I'm happy. At least Anisha will sit with me now."
That hurt.
Because Shela was always there.I was just… new.
I left, saying I wasn't hungry.
I sat in the open area of the school, watching children run, laugh, shout.The space was full—yet I felt empty.
Then I saw Ayyan.
He came, washed his hands, and left.Like I wasn't even there.
Honestly?I didn't care.
I had bigger things on my mind.
"Too much attitude, don't you think?"
I turned.
Anisha.
She sat beside me.
"If you don't want to be with us," she said carefully,"it's okay. You can make new friends."
I stared at her.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes," she said."And that's why I'm here."
"Do you even understand what you're saying?" I asked.
"Do you understand what you said in that room?" she replied.
"I'm sorry," I whispered."But maybe that was the truth."
"Shut up, Siya," she said firmly."I'm here to sort things out. Not complicate them."
I looked at her.
"Do you really think I want new friends?""I want you. Not the world."
Her face softened.
"I don't care about Ayesha," I added quickly."She doesn't matter to me."
"But you still have so many people around you," she said quietly.
"You do too," I replied.
"Yes," she nodded."But if you come, I'll still choose you."
I exhaled shakily.
"We're lying to each other," I said."And I'm tired. I have no one to share things with."
"You think I do?" she asked."You're my best listener, Siya. Maybe I'm the one who messed up."
"Messed up how?"
anisha: well.....!
"What??"The word slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
Anisha nodded. Not dramatic. Not emotional. Just… tired."Yeah."
I stared at her. For a second, the noise of the school disappeared."Anisha… you're joking, right?"
"I wish I was," she said softly. "His parents are getting divorced. He told me last week."
My chest felt heavy."Oh…"
"And that's the problem," she continued. "I don't like him that way anymore. I really don't. But how do you walk away from someone when their whole life is breaking?"
I didn't know what to say. So I didn't pretend to.
"That's messed up," I whispered. "Not you. The situation."
She smiled, a sad one."Exactly. I don't know whether to choose myself… or stay because he needs me."
For the first time that day, I saw her pain clearly.Not jealousy.Not anger.Confusion.
She looked at me then. Properly looked."Okay," she said. "Enough about me. Tell me what's going on in your life."
I laughed. A dry, helpless laugh."Where do I even start?"
"Start anywhere," she said. "I'm here."
So I told her.
About how people suddenly started noticing me.Not because they cared — but because they were bored.About boys asking weird questions, laughing when I didn't understand the joke.About how I thought at least I'm not invisible anymore, until I realised I was just entertainment.
"I thought they were my friends," I said quietly."But they just come to test me. To see if I like Ayyan. To tease. To laugh."
Anisha's jaw tightened.
"And Ayyan?" she asked carefully.
I looked away.
"He's… different now," I said. "Rude. Cold. Like I did something wrong without even knowing what it was."
I paused."I never told you this because I didn't want to sound dramatic. But sometimes I feel like everyone is around me… and still I'm alone."
She didn't interrupt me. That's how I knew she was listening.
"And the worst part?" I added."I started believing that this is normal. That this is what I deserve."
Anisha reached for my hand.
"No," she said firmly. "It's not."
I looked at her, eyes burning.
She took a deep breath, then said,"Okay, Siya. I get it now. I really do."
Then she hesitated.
Siya… can I ask you something?"
I stiffened.
"What?"
"What do you feel about Ayyan?"
"What—Anisha!" I exclaimed."No! What are you saying?"
She smiled softly.
"Liking someone isn't a problem."
"It's not like that," I said quickly."Not at all."
"Then what do you think liking means?" she asked.
I opened my mouth.Closed it.
"I don't know."
She leaned closer.
"Liking isn't always love," she explained."Sometimes it's feeling good around them.""Sometimes it's wanting them to talk to you.""Sometimes it's getting hurt when they don't.""And sometimes…""…it's just confusion."
"
She raised her hand gently."Listen. I'm not accusing you. Liking someone isn't a crime."
"It's not like that," I said quickly. "Not at all."
after this ,I stayed silent.
Not because I was scared.
But because suddenly… my heart was too loud.
Anisha didn't push.She just said quietly,"Think about it. You don't have to answer me now."
The bell rang.
We stood up together.
But my mind stayed behind.
Because for the first time, I wasn't asking what others think about me.
I was asking myself—
What do I feel… and why am I so afraid to name it?