The Morning of Torment
Ahmed had not slept.
Not for lack of trying—he had attempted to bury himself under mud, hide beneath broken branches, even hold his breath until unconsciousness seemed preferable. Yet no matter how deep he buried himself, Whorina was always there, floating beside him, humming tunelessly, flipping upside down, grinning wide enough to split reality itself.
When dawn came, she announced it with unnecessary fanfare:
🔊 [GOOD MORNING, HOST! READY TO SUFFER?]
Ahmed screamed into his hands. "I hate you. I hate this world. I hate frogs, mud, and glowing notifications."
Whorina stroked his cheek, voice dripping with mockery. "Darling, don't be shy. You love me. We're bound forever, remember?"
He twitched. "If forever has a customer service hotline, I want a refund."
And then, like a looming shadow of doom, Tsu-Nan appeared over the ridge, robes fluttering in the dawn wind. He moved like a painting come to life, each step deliberate, each gesture weighted with centuries of wisdom.
"Ahmed," he intoned. "The time has come for your true trial."
Ahmed covered his face with mud. "Can't we go back to the frogs?"
The Tower of Stillness
They arrived at a mountain peak by noon. Ahmed had to climb the jagged path on trembling legs, bruises still decorating his body from yesterday's "training." Whorina floated the whole way, upside down, commenting on every misstep.
At last, the summit revealed itself: a sharp cliff crowned by a single, jagged spire of stone. It jutted into the sky like a spear piercing the heavens. Around it, the air howled with invisible currents—eddies of wind that whispered, shrieked, and occasionally hurled stones into the abyss.
Tsu-Nan stopped before it, voice solemn. "This is the Tower of Stillness. To cultivate balance, you must endure stillness amidst chaos. Sit upon the peak. Do not move, do not falter, do not resist the wind spirits. Meditate."
Ahmed's eyes widened. "Meditate? Up there? In that tornado of doom?!"
Tsu-Nan nodded, serene. "Indeed."
Ahmed jabbed a finger at the peak. "I'll be blown off! I'll fall, and my corpse will become frog food at the bottom!"
Tsu-Nan's expression didn't shift. "If you fall, you were not worthy."
Whorina clapped gleefully. "Oh, I like this one! He's as cruel as me, darling."
Ahmed screamed. "STOP CALLING ME DARLING! I DON'T WANT A ROMANCE WITH A VIRUS!"
The Trial Begins
With all the enthusiasm of a prisoner walking to the gallows, Ahmed scrambled onto the spire. The winds immediately caught him, tugging at his tattered clothes, threatening to throw him into the abyss. He clung to the stone, teeth chattering.
"Okay, okay. Just… stillness. Just breathe. Don't panic. I can do this."
Whorina floated upside down directly in front of his nose, grinning. "Boo."
Ahmed flinched, nearly slipping. "I SAID STOP THAT!"
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST IS STRUGGLING. WOULD YOU LIKE TO ENABLE "ASSISTED MEDITATION"? Y/N]
"NO!" he roared.
The wind screamed louder. Ahmed squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to find some inner calm. But calm was impossible, not when Whorina conjured glowing illusions—illusions only he could see.
First, she spawned a marching parade of mini-frogs carrying banners that read: FAILURE IS ETERNAL.Then, she created a giant mud version of Ahmed, which immediately slipped and screamed as it plummeted into the abyss.Finally, she multiplied herself into dozens, all upside down, all chanting in unison: "Darling! Darling! Darling!"
Ahmed cracked. "STOP IT! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!"
The Accident
In his flailing panic to swat the illusions away, Ahmed performed what could only be described as interpretive martial arts. He windmilled his arms, spun in circles, bent backward like a drunken acrobat, and somehow managed to cling upside down to the spire with his legs wrapped around it like a deranged bat.
The winds roared. His body twisted, flailed, then settled into a strange, wobbling stance that—by sheer cosmic accident—aligned perfectly with the chaotic rhythm of the wind. Instead of blowing him away, the currents swirled around him, cradling his form.
He was floating.
Balanced.
Utterly still in the storm.
Tsu-Nan's eyes widened, his usual serenity cracking into genuine astonishment. "Impossible… such harmony with chaos itself…"
Ahmed, meanwhile, was screaming. "HELP! I'M STUCK! I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M DOING THIS! MY LEGS ARE CRAMPING!"
Whorina burst out laughing so hard she flipped right side up for the first time. "Oh, this is beautiful. Look at you, darling. The clown who stumbled into enlightenment."
A glowing notification appeared:
🔊 [CONGRATULATIONS: HOST HAS FAILED UPWARDS.]
🔊 [NEW TITLE ACQUIRED: THE ACCIDENTAL SAGE.]
Ahmed shrieked. "STOP GIVING ME TITLES I DON'T DESERVE!"
Tsu-Nan stepped forward, bowing slightly. "You… truly are unorthodox. In a single motion, you have embodied the essence of stillness through chaos. This is enlightenment of the highest order."
Ahmed twitched. "WHAT PART OF THIS LOOKS ENLIGHTENED?! I'M A FLAILING DISASTER!"
But Tsu-Nan's gaze was filled with respect, awe, and perhaps… fear.
The Praise He Cannot Escape
Back at the base of the mountain, Ahmed lay flat on his back, groaning, every muscle in his body aching from accidental contortion. Liuyue tended to his bruises with gentle concern.
"You… did well," she murmured.
"No," Ahmed croaked. "I did terribly. I looked like a malfunctioning scarecrow."
Whorina hovered above him, still grinning. "Correction, darling: you looked like a malfunctioning scarecrow who ascended into sagehood."
Tsu-Nan stood nearby, arms folded. His voice was reverent. "From chaos, you create harmony. From failure, you create success. You are the definition of unorthodox genius."
Ahmed sat up, hair sticking up like electrified weeds. "GENIUS?! I'm not a genius—I'm a walking accident! Don't encourage this!"
Whorina smirked. "Too late. You're officially the Accidental Sage. Wear it with pride."
"I WILL WEAR IT WITH NOTHING BUT SHAME!" he howled.
The Deluxe Pack
As the sun dipped below the horizon, Ahmed slumped against a rock, utterly broken. He wanted silence, he wanted peace, he wanted a day without frogs, spires, or sarcastic system-wives.
That was when it appeared.
A glowing chest, ornate and shimmering, materialized before him with a soft chime.
🔊 [CONGRATULATIONS, HOST! YOU HAVE UNLOCKED THE DELUXE PACK.]
Ahmed sat up warily. "No. No, no, no. Not again. I'm not falling for this scam."
Whorina floated beside the chest, stroking it lovingly. "Oh, darling. Don't you want to know what's inside? Riches? Power? Salvation?"
Ahmed squinted. "…Or is it going to be another useless pill that makes me taller and shinier?"
She smiled wickedly. "Open it and see."
Liuyue frowned. "What chest? Ahmed, why are you staring at the ground again?"
Ahmed pointed. "It's right there! Glowing! Can't you see it?!"
Liuyue exchanged a worried look with Tsu-Nan.
The Master simply said, "This is part of his path."
Ahmed's hands trembled as he reached for the chest. Every instinct screamed trap. But desperation was louder.
He touched the lid.
It creaked open.
A blinding light spilled out.
And Ahmed screamed—
Epilogue Cliffhanger :
—because inside, something stirred. Not gold, not weapons, not salvation… but something else entirely, waiting to torment him anew.
The chest glowed brighter, humming like a living thing.
Whorina whispered, voice trembling with suppressed laughter:
"Oh, honey. This is going to be delicious."
Ahmed's heart sank. "I knew it. I knew it was a scam."
The light surged. The Deluxe Pack revealed its truth.
And the night trembled, heralding the next disaster.
[TO BE CONTINUED....]