I click the Jesko's keys, and the doors swing up. I sit in the driver's seat, and almost immediately, Piper sits on my lap, instantly making me hyper aware of her huge and jiggly ass as it squirms on my lap.
"Why- ungh... why are you moving around so much, Piper?" I manage to say, gritting my teeth to not groan.
"Oh, I was just trying to get comfortable. It feels like I'm sitting on a massive pole..."
"Why would Kill Kill's lap have a pole?" Alicia asks in innocent confusion, her adorable face scrunched up as she sits on Liz's lap.
"N-never mind! It's nothing!" I say quickly, shooting a glare at the still-smirking Piper.
Liz just turned bright red. Those two really are polar opposites. Before we leave, I create a new skill, [BESTOWAL], which allows me to bestow skills or effects onto people or objects.
I bestow [G-FORCE NULLIFICATION] into Alicia permanently, and [HEAVY G-FORCE RESISTANCE] into the entire inside of the Jesko Odin, which I name Mjölnir in homage to my favorite MCU character's weapon.
I'm about to accelerate when a sudden action from Piper catches me off guard.
She shifts and puts her right arm around my neck while kissing my cheek while taking a bunch of selfies in succession with the clearly expensive interior in full view.
I sigh, reminding myself that once I go public, this'll be a normal occurrence... sort of. Without a word, I pull out of the driveway abruptly, causing Piper to fall back on me while grabbing me for support.
I grin, happy at her misfortune, only to have the smirk wiped completely away when she says, "Oh, wow! That was a really clever way to get me closer to you. I have such a cunning future hubby, no?"
"Are you gonna be my Sister-in-law, Piper?"
"No way-" I start to say, only for Piper to interrupt by saying, "No way it doesn't happen, right, babe?"
Before kissing me directly on the lips. If I didn't have [ABSOLUTE BODY CONTROL] and [PERFECTED AUTOMOTIVE DRIVING], I don't think I could've stayed on the road.
"Yaay!" Alicia sings in celebration. "🎶I'm gonna be an Aunty! I'm gonna be an Aunty! I'm gonna be an Aunty!🎶"
Fortunately, I had just left the neighborhood when this madness started, and as I turned onto the side road, I stomped on the accelerator, startling the girls who looked between me and the speedometer with fear. Minus one of them...
"Killian! This is awesome! Go faster!" Alicia says with a loopy grin.
"Aye, Aye, Cap'n Li Li!", I reply, stomping once again on the pedal, bringing our speed to a solid 303 mph.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!?" Piper screams, her eyes wide, and pupils slightly dilated from adrenaline. "AND HOW IN THE HELL IS THIS CAR NOT BREAKING?"
I went faster in response, before slowing down to 135 mph on the highway.
Which... is still far above the speed limit, which is probably why sirens were heard tailing us before long.
"ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US ARRESTED? OR KILLED? CUZ I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE AIMING FOR ONE OR THE OTHER!" Piper yells in my face.
"Relax," I say calmly before turning and saying to Alicia, "Alicia, when you're older, never do this stuff. If your friends do it, call me, ok?"
Grinning with mirth, she nods so enthusiastically that I thought her head might detach from her shoulders.
"Okay, Kill Kill!"
"Atta girl! Now watch... but don't learn... also don't tell mom... or dad...or... anybody honestly."
With that said, I floor it, climbing to 350 mph in seconds. With peak driving skills accredited to [PERFECTED AUTOMOTIVE DRIVING] and [ABSOLUTE BODY CONTROL], I weaved in and out of seemingly impossible gaps that to me and my skills might as well have been as wide as the Pacific.
Not soon after, a chopper was directly overhead, a megaphone screeching,
"SUSPECT IN THE BRIGHT PINK TOYOTA CAMRY! PLEASE PULL OVER AND CEASE FURTHER ACTIONS. THIS IS A BLATANT ACT OF RECKLESS DRIVING, AND YOU ARE ENDANGERING OTHERS IN DOING SO! I REPEAT, PLEASE PULL OVER!"
"KILLIAN! I CAN'T GET ARRESTED! I JUST GOT INTO STANFORD!"
Surprisingly enough, the one who spoke was neither Piper nor Alicia. It was Liz.
And seeing the desperate and immensely frightened look on her pretty face, I sighed.
"All right. I'm sorry, Liz. I'll end this..."
I create a new skill, [ILLUSION]. Upon activating it, I create a scene where Mjölnir disappears, and what remains is whatever car those who are watching were previously seeing is in its stead.
The illusion car then swerves violently before somehow being launched into the air over the rails, exploding midair, and disappearing into the water below. All while we safely get away.
-----------------
"THIRD PERSON'S POV"
Killganon Estate,
Manhattan, New York.
"Yo! Connor! Ryan! Come here, quick! There's a live car chase back home on the Allstott Highway Bridge! A souped-up Koenigsegg Jesko Odin is absolutely shitting on the police!" 12-year-old Jack Killganon sits in the living room on his phone watching this as his other two brothers join him.
"Holy shit! Is this real?" Ryan asks in awe.
"It's gotta be! No way to fake national news channels that easily!" Connor exclaims.
On the screen of the phone, a live shot of the Koenigsegg Jesko zooming away from the police was being broadcast.
They watch until the Jesko flips and sails over the rail, then explodes midair with a dramatic BOOOOOM!!!
"HOLY SHIT, MAN!"
"NO WAY."
"WHAT IN THE GTA...?"
The broadcast goes viral hours later, but not for the right reasons...
3 hours later...
BREAKING NEWS!
A NEON PINK 1997 TOYOTA CAMRY WITH A HELLO KITTY CUSTOM PAINT JOB FLIPS OVER THE RAIL AND EXPLODES IN AN ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE LAW ENFORCEMENT AMIDST A HIGH-SPEED CHASE WITH TRENTON VALLEY COUNTY POLICE AND HIGHWAY PATROL EARLIER THUS MORNING. ANY INFORMATION IS WELCOME. PLEASE CONTACT US AT THE ANNS TIPLINE 00098 OR ANNS.COM WITH ANY INFORMATION RELEVANT TO THIS STORY. OR, CONTACT YOUR LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT BY DIALING 911.
"Hey, Ryan...", Connor asks, looking at the National broadcast's headline describing a pink Hello Kitty Toyota Camry, then looking at the cool-as-fuck Koenigsegg Jesko Odin.
"Yeah?"
"Isn't it, like, illegal or something to be high while reporting?"
"I 'ont know... prolly..."
"So then... what the fuck are they smoking?"
"I 'ont know. But whatever it is, it must be good as hell... whatchu think, Jack Jack?"
"Fucking boomers, dude." Jack says.
"Goddamn boomers." Agrees Ryan.
"It's always the boomers, dude..." Connor finishes with a shake of his head. "It's always the boomers..."