NEW Legend of Cú Chulainn
"Sétanta, Mother wishes to eat a dragon's heart."
"What are you talking about, Ma."
"Will you not grant Mother's wish, Sétanta?"
"...Well, gotta be filial, I guess."
『What business do you have with me, a dragon, boy?』
"Ma says she wants to eat a heart. So just get hunted, will ya?"
『Foolish—』
"Hot! That hurts, dammit! Spitting breath right off the bat... I'll take that as you wanting to die!"
『Wh—』
...
"Right, I'll be taking that heart."
『』
He defeated the dragon solo. Took a dragon breath head-on but remained unscathed. Instant kill with zero damage taken.
Came with complimentary crushing of the eyes and wings.
"...It's too big to carry home."
"Yo, are you the Resistance brats? I'm Cú Chulainn. Well, let's take it easy."
(Hey, why is the Great Hero of Ulster, the enemy's final boss, standing right in front of us!?)
(I don't know, this makes no sense! The enemy boss coming as reinforcements! Greeting us casually! It's so meaningless I feel like I'm going crazy!)
"Hey! Both of you!"
""!""
"Father has announced his proud name! If you are heroes too, shouldn't you announce your proud names as well!"
"O-Oh...? How old are you, Missy?"
"So cute! Aren't you smaller than me?"
"Ah... I-I am, um..."
"This is Connla. My son."
"My!?"
"Son!?"
"He's a daughter now, though."
"Now!?"
"Daughter!?"
Gorgeous Produce Negotiation — Part 1
"Even though we are utilizing warps, time is precious. If the Stray Servants fall into enemy hands, it will be inconvenient for them as well. Likely, to prevent them from passing to the enemy, assassins—or perhaps Cú Chulainn himself—will come to dispose of them directly."
Warping out and hovering the Vimana in the sky above the town, the King crosses his arms.
——In the worst case, there is a danger of running into them.
"Indeed. Even if there is no way we would lose, having been distorted by the Holy Grail, it is easy to read that he boasts power far removed from that of an ordinary Servant. ——This is a race against time."
The King nods with a seriousness comparable to when he takes up his sword.
"The time allotted per person is one minute, three minutes at the latest. If the Servants complain, consider abduction or execution. ——I shall conduct the negotiations. Ea, you are to constantly pay attention to the surroundings. If anything approaches, we retreat immediately. This is merely recruitment. It is not a place to stake one's life."
——Understood. If there is a reaction suspected to be Cú Chulainn, I will inform you immediately.
...Even with the King and I giving our all, the existence known as Cú Chulainn is far too powerful and troublesome, a handful to deal with.
And if that is the Mad King, merciless and cold-blooded. A sinister existence, even more so—
...This is by no means an easy battle. In the worst case, a battle determining the fate of the Singularity might begin immediately. I must stay sharp.
(If that's the case, hurry up, hurry up! If you croak, Ea disappears! I won't allow that!)
Kyau kyau, Fou taps on the vessel, hurrying them.
"I know. Do not frolic so. ——Now then, shall we begin the King's battle!"
The Primordial King leaps from the edge of the Vimana.
——Now, let us begin the rapid and precise expansion of tactics!
And so, the Servant who was at the spot where the King flew down and landed was...
"Heart goes prickle-prickle, Sheltered Roman♪ That is the Maiden's Iron Maiden. Locking up my beloved you, skewering you with a storm of bloody kisses. Cheating is a no-no, serious love is a no-no. Because I'm right by your side, okay?"
Displaying a singing voice that sounds like every beautiful sound was put in a mixer and the resulting sludge was scattered all over the area to the uninhabited town... A lizard wrapped in a gaudy outfit that looks like poison to the eyes.
——We saw her in Orleans, right? That Death Metaller...
"Beast, I have words for you."
(I don't. Go negotiate already. Look, time is pressing.)
"I came to search for a Servant! I have no use for a biological acoustic weapon installed on a mountain where thunder roars like that!"
(Who cares! You said Servant, but who would have thought it was such a dangerous hazard! I don't want to go near it! My ears, accustomed to Ea's fluffy voice, will rot!)
biting down on the misfortune of being able to recognize sound, the King's camp begins infighting in two seconds.
——K-King! Um, how should I put it... she is undoubtedly a Stray Servant! I think she is perfect for wiping out a large army with that roar!
"Umu! In short, capture her! I feel as though dark clouds have gathered over our destination immediately... but I shall accept it as fate and destiny!"
(Enough with the preaching, just go already! My and Ea's ears are at stake! Show us something amazing!)
"Watch in silence! There is nothing for me and Ea to fear other than Mapo Tofu!"
Making up his mind, the King calls out to her as she scatters destructive thunder.
"...To think that I would ever speak these words..."
"——Gorgeous!? You're Gorgeous, aren't you!? No way, why are you here!? My secret practice spot! My secret practice venue... Don't tell me! A chaser!? Did you become a fan!?"
"I have but one word to gift you. ——Do you not feel ashamed showing your face so many times, mongrel?"
Spitting, the King mutters with a voice and expression as if he had chewed thoroughly on a hundred bitter bugs.
"Sudden slander right off the bat, as always! No! More importantly, what do you want! As you can see, I'm busy practicing! Busy polishing myself! If you have no business, leave!"
"Haa—... Then I shall speak bluntly. ...I shall become your Producer and set up a live concert for you."
He announces it flatly, with dead eyes and a monotone voice.
"This—For real!?"
Shaking her frilly outfit that looks like poison to the eyes, her hat slipping off, Elizabeth screams.
"Seriously!? Seriously, right!? You're not lying, right!?"
"Umu. I do not go back on my word. I shall support your activities to perfection. If you cooperate with me... that is."
"I will! I'll do it!! I've been looking for this forever! A sponsor! A Producer! Who will invest in me! And make me shine!!"
After all, it is important! SSR incoming without delay! Confirming Elizabeth dreaming of an impossible dream, Gilgamesh quickly leaps back to the Vimana.
"Moving to the next one. If I have her word, the contract is sealed. Time is precious."
Operating the console fluidly, he turns on the warp function and wraps an ether anchor around Elizabeth directly below.
"It's VIP treatment. Be grateful."
"VIP!? It looks like nothing more than a single lifeline wrapped around my body though!?"
"Vimana, launch!"
Fire lights up in the core of the stationary Vimana, and it accelerates while swinging Elizabeth, who is far below, around like a screaming attraction.
"Gyawaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Accel——eratingggggggggggg!!!"
The variety idol is swung around while distorting her face so much it would need to be covered by a "Cannot Show Face" telop.
"Next. ...Umu. In a sense, she was an easy opponent. Umu."
——...When the Singularity is repaired, even if there is a Holy Grail, it is unavoidable that Stray Servants will be unsummoned. I don't think there will be time to set up a live environment though...?
"Ea. You are sharp of hearing. If only that foolish dragon had your sharpness, she would have been fortunate."
Sigh, the King shakes his head.
(Yeah, yeah. It's the fault of the one who doesn't notice. It's Elizabeth's fault for forgetting her status as a Servant. You be careful too, Ea? Make sure to confirm the contract details thoroughly beforehand.)
——This is Negotiation...! The adult world where those who show weakness lose...!
Inside the warping Vimana, the King's vessel, Ea learned just a little bit about the depth of bargaining...
——Changing location: A town distant from the one where they picked up Elizabeth
(There is a Saber here. Yep, there's a Saber. I don't tell lies. I swear to Ea, I don't tell lies.)
Sniff sniff, Fou sniffs. Indeed, there is a strong Servant reaction directly below.
"That phrasing... seems like another eccentric one, Beast."
At the King's pursuit, Pui, he looks away.
(I don't know about the quality. How you use it depends on you. Now, bring them down swiftly and accurately. Show us your Charisma A+, King of Heroes.)
"Hahaha, this fellow, hahaha. ...Shall we brace ourselves, Ea."
——Since they are an Anti-Hero, let's consider the worst case where we can't even communicate.
"Umu. Truly regrettable, but we may have no choice but to dispose of them."
Solidifying his resolve, the Golden King jumps down to the lower world.
Aiming for a flawless victory, what awaited the King who stretched his legs to gather the scattered stars was...
"Hum hum hum~♪ Alright, the foundation is laid. With the current townscape, unfortunately, we can only film a Western... but what of it! With my rare and excellent acting, even a Western will surely snag an academic award!"
Humming with a cute voice while handling the stage, the Pure White Emperor. It was Nero Claudius.
"Haaaaaah..."
The King sighs with force enough to reach the abyss.
"I am tired of seeing that face... How many times has my sleep been disturbed, how many times has she crawled into my bed..."
——America was Rome...
(Ea, Ea, that's wrong. That Romulus meme is dangerous.)
"...Time is precious. We're inviting her in quickly."
Totally exasperated, the King calls out. An arbitrator must never make rulings based on personal feelings.
"...And? From where do you intend to procure capital, equipment, and personnel, Emperor?"
Mumu! To the existence calling out to her, the Emperor gorgeously flaunts herself.
"Of course! Assuming I concurrently serve as Producer, Director, Screenwriter, Music, and Lead Actor... No good! There is no cameraman—!"
Holding her head exaggeratedly, Emperor Nero glances at him repeatedly.
"...It is a hassle even to exchange words. I shall settle this in one breath."
Sighing fed up, the King slams down the contract.
(Arbitrators have it tough~)
——O-Oh King! I am by your side!
"Umu, encourage me nicely."
——King! I love you very much!
(Me too!)
——Fou! Love you lots!
(Ah—)
Turning into sand, losing form, and vanishing, Fou.
Fou!?
"I shall speak bluntly. I will prepare a full set of filming equipment, so assist me. After the matter is concluded, enliven the silver screen as you desire!"
"Is that true! As expected of Goldie! Heroic as your appearance suggests! Umu umu! I was just thinking I wanted a sponsor too~!"
"Then our interests align. Now board the Vimana. As Golden P, I have also secured your kindred spirit, Elizabeth."
"What!? ——This is, surely, surely... Oh no!"
The Emperor smiles with a face full of joy.
"The revolutionary docking collaboration of the Golden Theater and the Fresh Blood Demoness... will it be realized—!?"
(Why are these guys actively trying to create a hell on earth? Are you underestimating art?)
——But, wouldn't it be pretty? Golden Theater... Fresh Blood, um, tomato juice levels would be nice...
(Ea's examples are cute...)
"Umu. It is optimal for dragging the era along when the Celts trample America——Ha! Could it be, was your summoning for that purpose!?"
"What are you murmuring about! If we are going, hurry and put me on the ship! Is Elizabeth there——What happened, my rival—!?"
Nero is stunned seeing the limp Elizabeth hanging in place of the Vimana's anchor.
"Do not mind it. It is something like a charm for the Vimana. An excellent item that protects one from Wyverns and Dragons with screams like thunder."
"W-What—!? Elizabeth...! Overcoming your own fate as an Anti-Hero, you finally became a dragon that protects something...!! I, I am happy...!"
Overcome with emotion, Nero sheds tears.
(If that's a Guardian Dragon, complaints from the dragons on the Reverse Side of the World are incoming without delay...)
——Able to shed tears for a friend... Ah, so this is what 'precious' means, Fou...
(The most precious thing is... you, who can accept things straight on, Ea...)
Assessing the teary-eyed Ea, becoming one with a mirror, and quietly shattering, Fou.
Fou...!? Th-That's an amazingly rich variety!?
(To keep it visually interesting, even death scenes must be varied. That is my entertainment commitment.)
"Death acts are a strange style of performance, Beast."
(No, actually, the Precious Power I get from Ea is so tremendous that if I don't turn it into some kind of phenomenon, bursting is the only variation left, so I'm doing it. Eventually, I want to master every way of disappearing in the world.)
——Just because you can revive.
Hup, borrowing the King's body, she lifts him up.
——Don't forget... that there is a lonely princess who will have a gaping hole in her heart if Fou is gone... okay?
((Out of body experience) Of course, Ea. I won't leave you alone.)
"Rewind the tail of the soul. Do not leave the body behind."
(The body is just a vessel. No, maybe I can do it because I have a body?)
——Whatever it is, come back quickly! Hur-ry-up-!
Hurriedly rewinding Fou's soul.
(Thank you, Ea. No good, no good. Must be careful.)
"Hmm~? What is it? Conversing with an animal~? So you have a cute side too, Goldie! Can't underestimate you~? But, I am cuter!"
Smug! Nero puffs out her chest.
"Is that so. That is good. I am relieved too. I am very relieved that the future where your organs are gouged out without sparing a drop can be avoided."
"I-I-I won't allow such a gruesome death for myself! The citizens of Rome across the nation would not leave it be!"
"As if Roman logic applies to Celts. ——Well, that is fine. Trivial talk. Now, let's hurry to the next one. Navigate, Beast."
(Yes, yes. ——Next is a Saber and a Lancer!? Oi oi, don't end with the punchline being that both are Artoria!? ...Wait, it's a Saber. Holding a katana. ...Yeah. If it's a human with a katana, Saber is fine.)
"——Let's bet on a sliver of hope! Now, let us go pick up the next Servant!"
"I'm curious! I'm curious, Goldie! What, what happened to my body—!?"
——Two reassuring Servants have become companions!
Now, let's go find the next encounter!
"Skill worthy of the rumors, Miyamoto Musashi. ...I was surprised by your gender, but that Heavenly Eye's flower, truly a brilliant sword arm. There is no room for doubt."
"Thanks for that. No Second Strike Needed, Li Shuwen-dono. I heard you were a good-natured old man claiming the Divine Spear, but you're like a starving wolf, a raging tiger. It was unexpected."
"Kaka! I feel exactly the same! A withered spirit, a youthful body——therefore, it is not easy even for me to suppress this vigor! Strong ones have nothing to discuss but death!!"
"——Tch."
"Now, stance!! Let us establish on this northern land whether the Eastern or Chinese martial arts prevail!!"
(Hieee~!! Impossible, impossible, impossible!! Instant kill with one strike is too much of a cheat!! I refuse to die in battle without even reaching the sky! Fortune, Feng Shui energy! Anything! Save me and do something about this situation~!!)
"Here I come——hm?"
"Wh-Yes!?"
"——That match! I shall put it on hold!! Sheathe your weapons and listen to the King's words!!"
"Mu——"
(Help has arrived——!! Eh!? Is that Hideyoshi!? He's super glittering gold——!! Or rather, why is he topless——!?)
"I am the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh!! The King who has descended to employ you as war potential!!"
"E-Employ——!!? You'll hire us!? For real——!?"
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