Chapter 174: Teaching Penny Self-Defense
It was almost evening when Ron returned to Los Angeles. He checked his watch - it was nearly Sheldon's dinner time. With his machine-like roommate, there was no chance of schedule deviation.
Even Leonard had been trained to use the bathroom at designated times.
But when he got home, something was different. Just as he was wondering whose food he'd mooch tonight, something caught him off guard.
Sheldon was eating at his usual time, but his three friends were missing. Three untouched takeout containers sat on the table, leaving Penny alone with him.
"Where are Leonard and the others?" Ron asked. "Have they finally had enough of you and staged a revolt? I have to say, good for them."
"No, they've been lured away by the new girl upstairs," Penny said helplessly. "If you haven't eaten yet, you can join us. Their food's untouched. It's my treat today."
"How shocking! You, who always freeloads, are actually offering to pay for once?" Ron unceremoniously grabbed a takeout container and started eating.
"I can't believe they let her manipulate them like this," Penny said indignantly. "She's got them wrapped around her finger with just a smile.
Ron, did you know? Just last week, she had Howard drive her all the way to Orange County to pick up a TV."
"If I recall correctly, you had Leonard do the exact same thing," Ron pointed out. "Your ex even had him and Sheldon's pants torn off."
Penny explained defensively, "Ron, this is different. Leonard and I are friends, but this girl is exploiting them, living comfortably off her looks!
She takes advantage of those sweet, trusting guys, auditions for terrible TV shows, and now she's invading my territory!"
Ron rolled his eyes but held back what he wanted to say.
Penny might have had some ulterior motives initially, but now it was completely different. She genuinely cared about Leonard and Sheldon as friends.
"Ron, I remember you agents being pretty tough fighters, right? How good are your combat skills?" Penny suddenly asked, clearly cooking up some scheme.
"Let's just say, if it weren't for some classified enhancement programs making certain old-timers younger, I'd be the best hand-to-hand combatant in the entire US, no contest."
Ron, who had been focused on his food, couldn't help but show off a bit when Penny asked about his work.
Ron shook his head. "I'm not usually like this. I must have caught it from Sherlock."
"Really? Can you teach me some moves? The kind that's quick to learn and actually useful?" Penny said, looking interested. "Sheldon, want to learn some techniques too?"
"Penny," Sheldon rolled his eyes. "If I wanted to learn martial arts, I would have done so already. There's no need to wait until now."
"Alright," Penny put down her container, straightened her clothes, and was eager to start. "Can we do this now? You're always so busy, and I don't know when I'll see you again."
"Sure, no problem." Ron put down his container and wiped his mouth. He'd nearly finished eating anyway.
This kind of takeout that Sheldon preferred was just enough to satisfy Ron's appetite. He still preferred authentic food from local family restaurants.
"Let me be clear first - my fighting techniques aren't standard military combat. They're based on mixed martial arts I learned from a gym in the city when I was younger. It's called 'tactical self-defense.'"
Ron stood up. He didn't mind some light exercise after dinner. Not that vigorous exercise after eating was good for you, but for him, this level of activity was just a warm-up.
"Tactical self-defense? That sounds so cool!" Penny's eyes lit up, clearly imagining how she'd use these skills on the freeloader who'd just moved in upstairs.
Ron, whose deductive abilities had sharpened 20% after hanging around Sherlock, didn't need to guess what Penny was planning to do with her new skills.
"Okay, first you need to respect the training. Pour me some coffee and call me Sensei." Ron put on an air of authority, though his casual appearance made it look a bit ridiculous. He couldn't help it - this was the closest he'd get to the martial arts training he'd always wanted to try.
"We don't have any regular coffee, how about flavored coffee?" Penny quickly handed Ron a cup.
Ron took a sip and found it sweet. Whatever, it was just some basic moves for fun, so he didn't mind.
"The fighting style I learned incorporates elements from several combat disciplines. It's not traditional martial arts, but a practical system my instructor developed by combining various defensive techniques."
"Among my training partners, the most skilled was this guy we called 'Tank' - built like a brick house, but he transferred to another unit years ago. There was also another guy who didn't quite get it, goes by 'Tommy' now - last I heard he was working private security in Miami. If you ever meet these guys, you should show them respect, understand?"
"OK, I got it all. Can you teach me the moves now?" Penny was getting more impatient.
"Of course," Ron put down the coffee cup and stood up, assuming a defensive stance: "First is this technique - the Eye Strike!"
Ron's two fingers extended like a blade, aimed straight at Penny's eyes, but stopped an inch away: "With this move, your attacker will be temporarily blinded on the first strike."
"Uh..." Penny was startled: "Is there something less severe? I don't want to get arrested for assault."
"Try this instead - put your hands on my shoulders," Ron waited for Penny to position her hands, then suddenly pulled his arms back from above, pressed her arms down, and immediately formed his hands into a cupping motion, gently supporting her chin.
"This move is called the Chin Check. If executed properly, it can knock someone out instantly."
"That's it!" Penny's eyes lit up. "That's what I want to learn. It'll stop them without permanent damage."
Penny mimicked Ron's movements several times until she could execute them effectively. "Are there any other moves? I'm going to teach that little witch a lesson tomorrow!"
"Of course there are," Sheldon perked up nervously, while Ron automatically filtered out Penny's colorful language and continued his teaching duties.
"Next is the Pivot Escape. Once you've mastered these basic moves, I'll teach you a takedown technique I developed that allows you to use an opponent's momentum against them. It's called the Momentum Flip..."
(End of Chapter)
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