Broad wooden doors creak as two guards hand me a pass. They'd been instructed by General Hartman of course, and despite the snow on their shoulders, they simply do as they were told.
A warm gust of air hit my skin for the first time in weeks. Now I could now see that our training center barely counted as a heater. Both guards shivered as we closed the door behind them.
Rosa quickly scanned the environment. She started with the exits, then counted people, and took furniture into account last. "What are you looking at?" Rosa confronted me. I frowned.
"... Just never thought a noble would inspect their environment this carefully." I explain over my shoulder. The nobles I learned about killed servants if their mood ran short. Perhaps my research needs more attention. The hallway, by surprise, feels oddly nostalgic.
A red carpet stretches hundreds of meters beneath our feet, decorated with golden fabric. The price of cotton alone makes me wonder how much money was poured into this one hallway. Sheep herders require excessive food and water.
Cotton in a frozen city like Stronghold Kilo was incredibly hard to produce, so its value nearly reached metal itself.
"So, what are you planning to show me?" Rosa questions. She glares with suspicion because I knew this hallway too well for a commoner. Honestly, she is right to be suspicious.
From time to time I snuck around base during the night, looking for spare food when I ran low on funds. Up ahead stands a familiar buffet-style restaurant catering to senior officers. They always cooked fresh meals to my knowledge.
Officers, the first level of nobility, eat in places most wealthy Nobles preferred to avoid. In addition, most officers who might normally eat here are probably too busy preparing for house Kilo's arrival. We'd have the place to ourselves.
"A restaurant." I decide to retort over my shoulder. No need for manners when the woman keeps blackmail on me. We turn left into a massive grand hall.
Red tablecloths match the hallway carpet above eighty wooden tables. Polished silverware, plates, and condiments lay ready for use. About 200 servants take care of noble complaints and their privileged mess, though today the canteen sits empty.
A fancy buffet counter gives the nobles and officers free meals for all they can eat. It's a massive privilege for a common grunt like myself to even step foot in here. Even one of these dishes would cost more than my deployment salary. "How much do you normally eat?" I question Rosa from the side. She lets out a deep sigh.
"A small bowl at least. What, are you my boyfriend?" She rolls her eyes.
"Eat one, then a little more." I explain with boredom. Bossing people around never felt right to me, especially over trivial matters like food. Again though, my assessment of Rosa needs change. At first I believed she would argue the first chance she got.
Instead Rosa follows my suggestion with moderate care. All the lines I prepared for countering became useless when she just agreed in silence. We carefully eat until Rosa pauses to speak.
"So.. where did a self-taught mana user learn to sense mana?" She questions me with a doubtful glance. I finish a bite of my noodles before speaking. Now I realize that she agreed to my request simply for asking me questions.
"Nearly froze to death after Titans destroyed House Deir Mar… Honestly, most of us did. Our refugee camps were filled to the brim with people who'd never seen snow before. I got lucky because I held onto a feeling that kept me warm… Later, I discovered that I was controlling mana by instinct." I summarize my story to Rosa. She blinks for a moment.
"Did you not learn from someone? Are you being serious?" Rosa asks with doubt and raises her eyebrows. "To my knowledge only the first mage was capable of that.." Her reference to a "first mage" gave me slight concern.
I lack any knowledge about this world's history, so I just assumed people like me were common. If most people learned their techniques passed down by developed families, of course techniques like eye infusion would be seen as suicidal. Normal people would need to start the a technique from scratch unless they learned from a manual.
Mana training would obviously be systematic. It's common sense to make a training method for successors. What shocked me was how standard tutelage became, to the point where self-practice is doubted completely. Rosa's firm belief in a "first mage" came directly from it.
"Is.. that so impressive? I thought Titans do the same..." I retort while creasing my temple. Rosa's genuine doubt that I learned magic from scratch gives me joyful confidence and fear all the same.
"You're completely serious…?!" Now, Rosa gasps and stares at me with wide eyes. What a beautiful sight. It's been five years since anyone looked even closely apologetic- save twenty for a person who looked at me like I had talent.
Maybe this world drives me nuts, but I count Rosa's facial surprise for my messed up apology. Has nothing to do with how she's exactly my type. Those piercing purple eyes and athletic figure just don't seem like they belong to someone who gets surprised often.
"Mana control is just something I learned by pure chance. Should I be more careful about telling others?" My unconscious worry slips away in the wake of my distracted thoughts. Rosa smirks briefly, obviously reading straight through me.
"Yes. Most people would think that you're lying, or use your talent for political gain." Rosa answers my question. People's reaction is common sense really, but the rarity of people like myself impacts my safety. Opportunity crushing is my worst fear of all.
I wouldn't be surprised to hear that noble houses cut down natural mana users on purpose. That, or they found them in time to set a social leash.
"Mmm.." I grumble between a mouthful of thick noodles. Over five years have passed since my last home cooked meal. Mostly, I lack any spare time for meal prepping, so I often eat my food as ingredients. Even between our stressful conversation I find myself devouring the bowl at record speeds.
"Can you eat any slower?" Rosa chimes in from the side, eyes narrow with disgust. My response stays short and simple.
"We don't have time. Eat your meal quickly. You'll need rest for tomorrow." My comment froze her in place. Rosa glanced upwards in suspicion.
"Tomorrow? Isn't there still daylight?" She protests. I shake my head, though Rosa is right in a way. Normally people avoid sleeping at this time.
"Training tomorrow. You can't train properly until you rest. That, and I need to check your mana veins before we start. There's a chance I'll need to update your regimen." Rosa blanks out at my answer.
Maybe she believed I would pull half-effort because she blackmailed me, but no. This dangerous meeting doubles for a great opportunity. Regardless of whether Rosa's survives or not, the way I treat our promise could impact my future connections. Plus, I hate starting a project without fully investing into it.
"... I already told you. There's nothing we can do about my mana veins." Rosa taps her spoon over half eaten noodles. The glum expression she now carried matches her overall change in pace. We slowly continue our meal between awkward silence.
Over forty long minutes I forced Rosa to finish her food. The girl was college age for sure. Maturity-wise, Rosa sat between child and elder. Her high level of experience reflected a woman who needed to abandon childhood joys, only to realize she missed fundamentals. We concluded our meal before heading off to the noble's quarters.
This time an officer greets us right away, who seems in disbelief that I was still breathing. Rosa gives me a knowing side glance. Yeah, I owe you. My head tells me exactly what she meant without needing a word.
"Come in." Rosa interjects past my deep thoughts. For the last twenty minutes we marched past decorated hallways, so I'd been absent minded, thinking about possible reasons for Rosa's "mana syndrome."
The senior officer and I exchanged a nervous glance, on the same page for once. Rosa invited me inside her quarters again to confirm my doubts. My legs moved first before my brain realized that I was closing the door behind us. "Your first time alone with a noble?" Rosa teased from the side.
"Haha.. what did you need?" I laugh with nervous shoulders. Rosa purses her lips, and looks me up and down.
"I just thought that we could connect like this…" By now I need more than a double take or even a triple take. Surely Rosa isn't into me. 'A test..' I conclude past her promiscuous smile. Part of me just wants to cave.
Romance was beyond the question for deployment grunts. Forget dating, most people slated for deployment aren't allowed to leave the barracks. Now I found my hardest resolve being used to resist her beautiful eyes.
"Let's just start with your wrist." My confident words cause Rosa to blush slightly. I shake my head to clear any lingering thoughts. What I need is her mana pathway, not the palm of her hand. My two pointer fingers rest upon Rosa's left arm, which I support with a second hand.
With both eyes closed I immediately begin probing her main arteries. Almost immediately my progress finds a blockage near the bottom of Rosa's hand. She grunts in response.
"Ow.."
"You have blockages. The mana pathways are clear, but I'll need to check a few more places. We'll start on the Carotid artery." My passion for magic drops a name from Earth before I realized. Luckily Rosa just accepts my strange terminology. I check both Carotid arteries on each shoulder, as well as her forearm and other wrist.
After a brief assessment Rosa began massaging sore spots where the mana ran into blockage. "Did you ingest any potion or some kind of elixir in your youth?" The first question I try causes a visible flinch.
"Y-yes.. How did you know?" Rosa stutters, her expression now rigidly stern. The existence of elixirs or mana potions was just a random guess I made, assuming rich families would stockpile medical remedies.
Someone who needed a boost in mana levels would need their energy from somewhere, a problem I found when gathering mana from the air. My guess proved true based on Rosa's visible reaction.
"Your blockages take the shape of crystals. I've only heard about a few cases like this. Arthritis, for instance, involves the crystallization of older blood in common folk. Your solution in those cases is brutally simple. A person with Arthritis needs to endure physical training so they can break the crystals in their joints. For you though, I'd assume crystals formed using mana won't shatter with exercise alone."
"How the hell do you know all this?" Rosa interjected with protest. "My family's head physician told me that my condition was one of a kind. Other healers I've met explained further, but you're the first person who claims they've heard about previous cases. Who the hell are you?" Rosa got straight to the point.
I scoffed in brief laughter. She became really direct at times. Maybe Rosa's guess about her family's planned assassination wasn't a stretch in the slightest. Our earlier conversation today certainly wasn't a fluke. I should have expected her to call me out earlier.
"Well, more than likely, your family physician knew your condition exactly. If taking a strong elixir is a practiced tradition in your family, the physician's role would be to confirm whether you succeeded or not in your family's test. He probably had no reason to actually cure your illness."
My brutally honest guess receives a steady flow of tears for an answer. I let Rosa's wrist go, sensing the heavy personal moment. How someone can survive such a brutal upbringing would've just been a guess five years ago, although my own life from Earth wasn't better. At least I was expected to die on Titan.
"So.. if you fix this.. will my family love me again?" Rosa pleads, though she already knows the answer. We sit quietly while I search for something I could say. Nothing can replace whatever life Rosa lived, and I can only guess the surface of it. She nearly bites her lip as I made my choice.
"Yes… is a lie. Do you mind if I'm honest?" I wonder in caution. Sometimes truth is more harmful than lies. Even still, it's up to Rosa to decide what she'd prefer.
"Just go for it…" Rosa mutters with defeated eyes. The scene tears past my protected heart in no time at all. Empathy still haunts my second life just as much as the first. Part of me believed someone noticed my desperate struggle and took pity, but I knew better.
This rare opportunity amounts to luck at best. We barely have time for a conversation when both of our lives stand at risk. I take a deep sigh and hope the breath will prepare me to break Rosa's heart. Like hell it would.
"You will survive at most. Maybe they'll spare you because your potential is greater, but you might spend a lifetime seeking approval." Rosa turns her head to make eye contact. She wipes fresh tears from her cheeks using the cloth of her jacket. The neatly ironed linens soak up her tears in rapid speed.
"You're a noble, aren't you? From the house of Deir Mar?" Rosa subjectively assumes. "That's why you know all this… and my family is the one that slaughtered yours…" She speaks between sobs, making it very hard for my empathetic heart to deny anything.
Right now I felt deep down that the full truth might truly break her. If she knew I came from humble origins, who knows if she could stand up from that. My head could barely keep up with the rare emotions I had kept back for years.
"It's not your fault." I decide to lie. "You have no reason to blame yourself… I really meant it when I said you needed rest. We have work to do tomorrow. For now, relax." My heart wrenches as Rosa dove for a kiss.
I knew exactly what was happening when we jumped in bed. I knew that my short lie created more problems than I could ever handle. We just let the emotions take control.