"What will other people think?"
I still hear it.
That awful sentence.
"Kavya? Why are you so angry?"
I glanced at my boyfriend with a strained smile.
"I hate the world. All we have is pain."
I must accept it: I am alone. I am disgusting. I'm abnormal, even if I don't think I am.
My heart churned and tears fell from my face. No…I didn't want to break up with him. It's just that…I don't belong here. My emotions swallowed the sanity I had left in front of him.
"That's not true! We had so many good things together."
"You don't get it. It's fine when you're gay, but it's disgusting when it's me."
He grabbed my face and stared into my eyes. His gaze was desperate.
"No! What the hell are you saying? You're not making any sense!"
"If only…we were friends…" I sobbed.
"No…Kavya."
"I'm sorry, Antoine."
I turned away and slammed the door.
*
At home, I glanced at my phone. My headache worsened and my throat burned. I clicked on the app.
The stories I read and watched were typically created for woman. I mean…a lot of times the representation is bad, but I guess I should just be grateful some of them are supportive.
There was a universe they created that supported queer couples. Sure, I didn't like how they had masculine and feminine stereotypes, but it was really…awesome.
If only…Antoine and I could be together in an accepting place…