"Full house, losers!" With a triumphant smirk, I threw the last card—the ace of trumps—onto the table and leaned back in my chair with a satisfied look. The air in the hotel lobby was thick and warm, smelling of dust, old wood, and something elusively sweet. Pentious was probably baking cupcakes again. I took a big gulp from my mug of cold kvass. Delicious. Unfortunately, they didn't have this in Hell, so I had to periodically visit a shop in Heaven and stock up on this divine drink in industrial quantities.
Husk, sitting opposite me, demonstratively rolled his eyes with a theatrical sigh. This old drunk, every time the conversation turned to cards, stubbornly insisted on playing blackjack. And I, in turn, offered to bet his soul every time... Yes, the trolling had reached a new level.
"Big A, we're not playing poker..." Angel answered, a little annoyed, with petulant notes in his voice. He had a whole mountain of absolutely useless cards in his hands. Yeah, the guy was clearly unlucky in gambling, and this fact created a very funny contrast between him and his "friend," the bartender, who, as we know, was quite the card sharp. We were actually playing "Durak" (Fool), which, it seems, no one in this damned world had ever heard of. Even our expert on cards and casino chips looked at me with bewilderment as I explained the rules. I think I should definitely take a trip to my former homeland someday and see how it differs from my world now. I can't compare America; the first time I was there was already during the nuclear war, so I completely missed the greatness of the States, and I didn't like their slow, agonizing decline at all. Although, considering that I didn't like anything at all back then after the death of my beloved, that doesn't really say much.
"Adam, you're definitely cheating!" the Princess of Hell finally couldn't take it anymore, throwing her cards on the table with indignation. Of course, she was upset. Out of the seven games we played, I won seven times (Yes, I'm fucking awesome!). And we had a little bet, the price of which was her mandatory training with the wonderful and irresistible me in the basics of self-defense. Because, even though our sweet Charlie has colossal power, she uses it very... poorly. This was perfectly shown in the cartoon: in terms of power, she's on the same level as the canon Adam, but at the same time, she has a huge advantage due to possessing both Darkness and Light... But that past Adam didn't give a deep fuck about all her "advantages." In that battle, he literally beat the little girl half to death with his bare hands, after which only the intervention of her daddy saved the main characters from my-his "Punishing Hand of God." "You can't just win every time!" Yes, the princess didn't really want to lose, because she had a rather negative attitude towards any violence, even training fights, and resorted to it only in the MOST extreme cases. But with her current skills, she wouldn't even be able to take on one of the Deadly Sins, if it came to that. And if Eve wanted to harm her in some way, the poor girl would have to rely only on luck and help from Lucifer... And on me, of course. Where would she be without me...
"Yeah, yeah, Big A is definitely a cheater! He should be arrested immediately! I even have handcuffs with me! Fluffy, pink ones!" our spider immediately perked up and cheered, discreetly trying to hide his worst cards under his ass, as if they weren't there.
"Angel, my six-armed friend," I slowly put my mug of kvass aside, watching with a smirk as the aforementioned sinner brazenly tried to cheat himself. "You haven't forgotten who I am, I hope? And you shouldn't make such jokes..." For a couple of seconds, a barely noticeable but palpable aura of pure, golden Light began to slowly manifest around me. Panic immediately appeared on Angel's face, his smile faded, and he shrank back into his chair a little.
"Adam, he's just joking..." Charlie tried to calm me down, looking at me worriedly.
"...Or I'll start responding with the same kind of jokes," I interrupted her, smiling broadly again. "And I, by the way, am supposed to set a good example for all of you! As an older comrade and this... spiritual mentor, there! " I finish my tirade, enjoying the stunned faces of those around me. Only Vaggie didn't look surprised, as she was used to such jokes back in Heaven. And Niffty, of course, but she was paying little attention to our "games," being completely engrossed in hunting some particularly fat hell-roach (Fucking roach motel, I'll have to find a solution to this problem someday).
Yep, for all the time I've been hanging out here, I've really shown a rather unexpected side of myself. A calm, kind, reasonable guy who is always ready to help and give good advice. And I didn't even have to act. Next to this positive and almost Saintly Charlie, I just didn't want to behave any other way. So, it turns out, in the eyes of all these residents, I really was a sort of "kind uncle" who doesn't accept vulgar humor and rudeness... Well, you can understand them, although it did happen a couple of times, yes.
"And anyway, kiddo, I've had enough for today," I got up from my chair, draining my glass of kvass in one big gulp. "So tomorrow, at nine in the morning sharp, be ready for training. Okey-dokey?"
"Maybe we don't have to?" Yep, this cunning demoness immediately put on such a cute, pleading face and is looking at me with her huge, puppy-dog eyes, hoping I'll just back down! Wrong person, you little devil. And a pleased Vaggie, standing behind her, completely agrees with me on this. Look how slyly she's smirking, she feels that I'll finally train her wayward girlfriend up to an acceptable combat level.
"We have to, Fedya, we have to," I say, flicking a surprised Charlie on the nose, smirking and winking at Vaggie, and amidst another lewd joke from Angel, I teleport straight to Heaven.
About two months have passed since my "revelation" to Lute. During this time... a lot has happened. A great deal... But the main thing is, probably, that very conversation, right?
I flop onto my huge, soft bed. It's been evening outside for a long time, and Heaven is shrouded in a soft, pearly twilight. I yawn and, closing my eyes, once again immerse myself in those nervous, but so important to me, memories…
Two months ago. The Exorcist Training Grounds.
"I... am not that Adam."
Lute's body in my arms, which a moment ago had been so soft and pliant, instantly tensed. The warmth that had emanated from her seemed to evaporate, replaced by an icy, almost hostile stiffness. She slowly, with visible effort, pulled away, pressing her palms against my chest to look into my face.
The playful glint in her golden eyes died out. Now they looked at me sharply, piercingly, with a soul-chilling suspicion. A real hurricane of emotions swirled in their depths: bewilderment, nascent fear, and a cold, steel-like determination. Her lips pressed into a thin line. She was silent for several long seconds, staring into my face, desperately trying to find a hint of a joke, some stupid, inappropriate prank. But she found none.
"What... does that mean?" she finally said. Her voice was quiet, but in the deafening silence that followed, it sounded like the crack of a whip. Not a drop of the tenderness that had been there a moment ago remained. Only coldness and a demand for an immediate answer. "Adam. What are you talking about?"
"Let me start from a distance, okay?" I sighed, gathering my strength. "One 'fine' evening, someone rang my doorbell. And when I opened the door, I saw on the threshold... Eve... Who gave me the Fruit of Knowledge and... Well, I ate it..." I looked away. Yes, it was damn unpleasant to remember that. Because now, let's say, having "refreshed" in my memory what that damn fruit did to my... to Adam's wife, I simply couldn't think calmly about eating that unknown crap.
The silence on the training ground became thick and heavy, almost palpable. Lute's hands, which had been gripping my shoulders, slipped down limply. She took one tiny, almost imperceptible step back, as if instinctively trying to increase the distance, to wall herself off from my words. Her face turned pale, and in her wide-open golden eyes, horror and absolute disbelief were frozen. The suspicion that had been in them a moment ago was replaced by a shock of such force that it seemed her whole world, built on faith in me, in my purity and invincibility, had just shattered into millions of small, sharp fragments. Her lips parted slightly, but not a single sound escaped them. She looked at me as if she were seeing me for the first time. Not her commander, not her beloved, not the Archangel Adam. But someone else. A stranger.
"You..." her voice was barely audible, a breaking whisper, full of confusion and unbearable pain. "You ate... the Fruit?" She struggled to get the words out. "When?"
"The day before I met Lucifer's daughter..." I decided not to hide anything important from her. About the fact that this whole world is, essentially, just a cartoon, I, of course, won't say, but she was simply obligated to know everything about me and about Adam. "After that, my memory disappeared for a long time; it was replaced by the memory of one... being from another world. But gradually, all of Adam's memory began to return, and today... today the last piece of it finally came back." I turned my worried gaze to Lute, desperately hoping she wouldn't hate me... That would be... very painful...
Lute's gaze, previously filled with shock and disbelief, cleared for a moment. Understanding flashed in it. All those oddities of the last few months, all the inconsistencies that she had undoubtedly noticed but desperately pushed away, suddenly fell into a single picture. The sudden changes in character. The new, uncharacteristic fighting style for the past Adam. That "amnesia"... She took another step back, her hands falling limply to her sides. The strength that had always been in her posture, in her gaze, left her. Now she just looked... broken.
"So..." her voice broke, turning into a barely audible, trembling whisper. "The one I was with... all this time..."
The unasked question hung in the ringing silence of the training ground like a sentence. She looked at me, and in her eyes, there was no longer any anger or suspicion. Only all-consuming pain.
"A... Adam?" she swallowed with difficulty, as if the words were stuck in her throat. "The real Adam? Did... did he die that night?"
A single tear slowly rolled down her cheek. She didn't wipe it away. She just stood there, devastated, crushed, looking at me as if at a ghost. As at a creature that had stolen everything from her—her commander, her faith, and perhaps even her love.
"Who... are you?" the last question came out almost silently, like a dying breath.
"Lute..." Unable to bear her gaze, I took a step towards her, feeling as if my own heart was being pierced by a red-hot angelic spear.
My step only made her flinch; she recoiled as if from a blow, instinctively holding out her trembling hand towards me, palm out—not for an attack, but as a fragile barrier, a desperate attempt to hold onto the remnants of her collapsed world.
"Don't come closer," her voice—now not a whisper, but a strangled, cracked sound, full of unbearable pain. A second tear rolled down her other cheek, leaving a wet, shiny trail. "Just... stay there."
She looked at me, and her gaze was filled with such despair that I hadn't seen even in the most unfortunate sinners in Hell. She was trying to understand something, to piece together the picture of what was happening in her head, but her mind, accustomed to clear orders and unwavering faith, simply refused to accept this new reality for her.
"I… I don't understand…" she whispered, shaking her head as if trying to ward off some terrible obsession. "If you're not him… then where is he? What did you do to him?"
"Lute, I am Adam. I just... How can I put this to you..." I tried to find the most concise and understandable description, and suddenly realized that all this time I hadn't even thought about who I actually was. A God-slayer who possessed Adam's body? Adam who somehow absorbed the soul of a God-slayer? Or some chimera, molded from them both? "Listen, I didn't kill Adam. And he didn't disappear anywhere. Adam is me. I just... re-evaluated a lot of things, thanks to the fact that... I remembered my past life." This wasn't a lie, since I didn't know the full truth myself. I just gave her the answer that first came to my mind. An answer that, I hoped, could calm her down a little.
My words made her freeze. The trembling hand held out in front of her slowly lowered. She didn't come closer, but she didn't retreat either. Her body was still tense, like a taut string, but the panic in her eyes began to give way to bewilderment.
"Past… life?" she asked again, her voice still hoarse and uncertain. She looked at me, and in her gaze, there was a desperate attempt to cling to this new, unthinkable idea, as to a lifeline. "But how?... You're Adam. The First Man. You… you can't have any past life. All these changes…" she whispered, and in her voice, there was a faint, almost imperceptible note of… hope? "Your new skills… that…" she faltered for a moment, choosing the right word, "…kindness… Is it all just because of it? Because of this… memory?"
She still didn't fully understand, but the fear that I was a monster who had killed and replaced her Adam was beginning to recede. Now she saw before her not a murderer, but… The same Adam, who had simply changed under the pressure of someone else's memories?
"Yes, about that..." I awkwardly scratched the back of my head. "In my past life, I was... A little unusual, but still a human. And I lived in a completely different world. There was no Heaven or Hell, no our God… just as there was no Light or Darkness. In that world, I died, and I came to in this body, not remembering anything except my past life." I looked her straight in the eye, trying to show my sincerity. "Gradually, all of me-Adam's memory began to return..."
She flinched at my words, but this time she didn't recoil. On the contrary, she took a tiny, almost imperceptible, hesitant step towards me. Her hands, previously hanging limply at her sides, slowly rose, but froze halfway, never touching me. There was no longer that horror in her golden eyes; it had given way to the deepest bewilderment. Lute saw my fear, my vulnerability, and that, it seems, finally broke down the last wall of her distrust.
"Another world..." she whispered, as if tasting the words. "Without Light... Then..." her voice trembled, and she swallowed with difficulty, asking the most important question for her. "The one I love..." she stammered, choosing her words, her lips trembling slightly. "Is it you? Or?.."
"That's what I should be asking you..." I looked away again. It was damn hard to have such conversations, especially when the topic was… so complex and ambiguous... "Lute, I am Adam. And even though I've changed a lot, I've never lied to you; all my feelings and words were sincere. So tell me..." I slowly extended my right hand and gently placed it on her cheek. "Do you love me?"
At my question and my gaze, which reflected all my pain and fear of being rejected, her composure, it seems, finally cracked. She didn't pull away from my touch. On the contrary, she slowly closed her eyes and, barely noticeably, almost unconsciously, pressed her cheek against my warm palm, as if seeking support in this gesture, salvation from the terrible truth that had befallen her. Her breathing was ragged, uneven. Tears flowed down her cheeks again, but this time I felt no horror, no shock. Only some tenderness and… acceptance. She was silent for several long moments, which seemed to stretch into an eternity, and then, without opening her eyes, she answered quietly, almost in a whisper:
"The old Adam… I respected him. Admired him. I was immensely devoted to him, as my commander, as my savior…" she paused, her voice trembling. "But the one I fell in love with… was you."
She opened her eyes, and now in their golden depths, there was not a single shadow of a doubt. Only love. Pure, sincere, all-forgiving.
"The one who has been by my side all these months. The one who made me smile again. The one who… who looks at me like this," she whispered, smiling happily, and her left hand slowly rose and covered mine, pressing it even tighter against her cheek. "Yes, Adam. I love you…" And then her tone became serious again, but this time I could clearly see that it was just an act and a desperate attempt to hide her embarrassment, which was evident from the bright blush on her cheeks. "But you're going to tell me everything about this 'past life' of yours right now!"
After these words, my soul suddenly felt so light and pleasant, and all those problems that just a second ago seemed insurmountable suddenly seemed like such nonsense that I just couldn't help it and laughed out loud, happily, hugging my woman tightly, who, after protesting for a couple of seconds for show, began to laugh sweetly and melodiously herself. Yes, I always knew that under her "steel lady" mask hid a vulnerable, gentle girl who wants love and care, but now… now I was surprised to learn that I myself, it turns out, am not so far from that…