Running out of the house, Anakin didn't stop, continuing to run further and further away. He ran until he was completely out of breath, and only then did he stop, leaning heavily against a tree. It turned out that he had managed to run to the forest and go a little deeper into it. And by a strange twist of fate, he was now standing in the exact spot where Ahsoka had been found dying almost a month ago. But Anakin had not been present when she was rescued, and afterwards he had not asked where or how it had happened. The grass in that spot had long since been trampled down, the blood had been absorbed by the earth, and nothing remained to remind him of that terrible day. Therefore, Skywalker did not suspect anything and simply stood up, pressing his back against the wide, rough trunk. His breath was ragged from the long, fast run, and now it came out of his chest with incredible pain, his heart beating against it as if it had decided to leave it and hide in the tall grass from the shame he was now experiencing. No one could see Skywalker here, and no one even knew he was here, but he still felt as if he had been completely stripped naked and put on display in the main square. If it had been up to him, the man would not have stopped, but would have continued to run until he dropped dead, but he knew it was useless, because no one had ever managed to escape from themselves. And Anakin now had no doubt that the reason for everything that was preventing him from living in peace was not in his surroundings, nor in Asoka, nor even in her immediate proximity to him, but only in himself. All it took was a tiny step — simply to stop lying to himself and admit what his feelings for Asoka really were. Even if it was in such a nervous and almost rude manner. But, strangely enough, usually when you confess, it becomes easier, but now Anakin felt a new weight descend on his shoulders, even heavier than the one lifted by his confession. This weight was guilt, sharp as a lightsaber and just as hot. It was terribly unbearable, but very persistent, and it would not give you peace until you dealt with it. Skywalker understood this, but he didn't know what he had to do to rid himself of this burden as well. Although, who knows, maybe if he went through with it, Anakin was alone now, no one would look for him, which meant no one would stop him. And Ahsoka... How would she react to his words? The thought made him freeze in fear for a moment, but he immediately dismissed it, thinking that Tano probably hadn't noticed them, had chalked it up to emotions, or maybe had forgotten about them altogether. Not in her current state. Remembering the latter, Anakin felt the notorious guilt weigh on him even more heavily, so much so that he couldn't even stand, sank to the grass, closed his eyes, and mentally transported himself back a year and a half. It was the day Padmé announced she was leaving him because he didn't support her idea of joining the banking clan her former lover, Rash Clovis, worked with. Anakin was terribly jealous of his wife's past, suspecting that in the ten years between their first and second meetings, she had hardly been completely faithful to him. With such beauty and influence. And this Clovis had been hanging around her since school. Skywalker had a particular dislike for him because he knew how he slept and how he dreamed of winning back his love. He couldn't even stand to see him alone, let alone the two of them together... Not surprisingly, he had a serious talk with Padmé about it, which ended with her getting offended and saying that they needed to live apart and think about whether they had a future in such a situation. Anakin was so angry and hurt at the time that he didn't try to stop her, and she left. As Skywalker later learned, she did take part in the operation against the banking clan. But he didn't say anything about it, his resentment remained, and at that time there was no one else around him except his loyal apprentice. Ahsoka saw that her mentor was frowning and, without wasting time trying to find out what was wrong, began to distract him. She invited him for walks, to cafes, to amusement parks. Anakin refused at first, but then agreed, realising that Torguta would not give up. And, strangely enough, after starting to interact with Tano in an informal setting, Skywalker began to look at her not from a mentor's perspective, but as a simple ordinary person. After that, what he saw and discovered in her did not leave him indifferent. He noticed that Ahsoka was not just a cheeky smart aleck who never listened and always did what she wanted, but also a very sensitive, attentive person who was receptive to the mood of those around her. She was a good listener and gave very precise answers. In fact, behind her outward sharpness lay a very fragile, gentle and sincere soul. Ahsoka hid nothing and did nothing shameful. She felt and lived according to her feelings. Anakin saw more and more of himself in her. About a month passed, and Padmé still did not return, nor did she even call. A little more time and Skywalker would have finally given up waiting for her. This feeling of anticipation and the very necessity of it gradually faded away, leaving only a small hope at the bottom of his soul, but at the same time, his attachment to Asoka, this other Asoka, known only to him, grew stronger day by day. A few more days and she began to replace the longing for Padmé in his heart. Just a couple more days and he made up his mind, called Asoka on her comlink and suggested they meet near an expensive restaurant. He spent the whole day preparing what he was going to say. What? Anakin couldn't really say, but he knew he had to confess. There was half an hour left until the appointed time, just enough to get to the restaurant. Skywalker stood at the door, dressed in a clean formal suit, his hair carefully combed and sprayed with cologne. He was about to leave and had already written to Asoka about it when the unlocked door suddenly opened. She was standing in the doorway. Calm, pale, wearing almost no makeup, dressed in simple clothes.
"Eni, forgive me, I am weak, I am a fool, but I love you and I can no longer live apart from you. I have realised that all I need is you and, most importantly, to be with you.
Just at that moment, when Skywalker was about to start a new life. He wanted to tell her everything, but realised he couldn't. That very hope, which had been sitting at the bottom of his soul, embraced by faith and love, rose up and clouded his mind, making him think only of how she had returned and how good that was, and how beautiful she was now, despite her modest appearance. In an instant, it pushed everything else out of his mind, pushing him straight into his wife's arms. And somewhere out there, in the square, not knowing what to think, Asoka was rushing around, waiting and worrying, her comlink ringing off the hook. Anakin didn't even hear it, because Padmé had returned. She had come to him. She said she loved him. She confessed that she was expecting a child. Wasn't that happiness? Wasn't that more important than everything he had imagined before? Anakin decided that it wasn't and didn't think any more about where he was going or who he was going to meet. He only remembered in the morning when he was getting ready for the temple and noticed a bunch of missed calls. And he felt nothing more than a slight awkwardness, instantly forgetting the flash of emotion between him and Tano. She was already waiting for him at the temple and, judging by her appearance, had no intention of giving him a piece of her mind. On the contrary, she behaved as if the missed meeting had never happened and they were still just teacher and student. She never brought up the subject again and never hinted at how she had really felt that evening. If Anakin had pressed her or even looked closely into her eyes, he would have understood, seeing the pain she was carefully hiding there. But he was only glad of her calm reaction. After all, Anakin was a little afraid of scandals and arguments, which would certainly not be good for his pregnant wife. And everything went back to the way it was before, for all three of them. And then there was the terrorist attack, and Asoka left the Order, unable to survive the betrayal. That was the official version, and no one else bothered to put forward any other explanations. Why bother, when everything was so clear and convincing, good enough for the record. About a year passed, during which Anakin hardly thought about Togruta, except to feel guilty for almost cheating on Padmé with her. But then they met again. Padmé was gone, but Ahsoka was there, and so was that feeling, the one that was creeping deeper and deeper into his soul, asserting its position. And today, it finally burst out in the form of that careless exclamation, and now it looks like it will become a wall between them. Something had to be done about it, and right now.
"Somehow fix the situation, make the confession seem different from what it was. Maybe I should be gentler with her, show her care and attention, but at the same time not allow myself to go too far. Yes, that would probably be the right thing to do," Skywalker decided to himself, and, full of determination, got up from the ground and walked with a firm gait towards the camp, where his help was needed.
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