The figure stepped into view, lantern held high, emerald eyes wide with shock and recognition. Her lips parted, trembling with a single breathless phrase.
"Oh heavens," the elf priestess whispered. "The prophecy… it's true…"
Her gaze was not on the glowing runes or the floating screen.
It was on Kael—Kael Draven, standing gloriously, disastrously, and completely naked at the heart of a holy temple.
Kael panicked. His hands shot downward in a frantic attempt to cover himself, fingers fumbling uselessly in the glowing air. Think, Kael, think! Modesty! Dignity! Anything but full frontal divine revelation!
And then—because the so-called Divine Libido System apparently had a sense of humor—light flickered at his waist. With a soft ding, a shimmering fig leaf popped into existence, glowing faintly like some perverted blessing from above. It hovered dutifully over his crotch, far too small for comfort, but just large enough to make the mockery complete.
Kael's jaw twitched. "Oh thank the gods," he muttered. Then, realizing what it actually was, "…wait, did I just get censored?!"
Across the chamber, the elf priestess stumbled back a step. Her lantern clattered against the stone as she dropped to one knee, eyes wide, voice trembling. "You… you are the chosen one… the Harem Overlord."
Kael blinked, stunned. His brain stuttered like a jammed gear. "…Wait, really? That's your reaction? You're not gonna scream? Or arrest me for indecent exposure? Or at least… I don't know… call a guard?"
The priestess's emerald gaze flickered downward. Her face flushed crimson, her lips parted as though to speak—but no words came. Instead, a tiny trickle of blood seeped from her nose, bright against her pale skin.
Kael stared. "Oh gods. Did… did my crotch just injure a holy woman?"
The priestess swayed, lantern slipping from her grip. A heartbeat later, she toppled forward in a faint, collapsing neatly against his chest.
Kael froze, the unconscious elf draped in his arms like some scene from a painting. Her robes were warm, her hair smelled faintly of sage and lilies, and even in sleep, a blush lingered on her cheeks.
He swallowed, hard. His gaze flicked downward, to the glowing emblem branded over his chest. A crown encircled by thighs, pulsing with golden light.
Then upward, to the half-transparent system window still floating beside him, smug and silent.
And then, finally, back to the beautiful elf nestled against him, breathing softly, her face nuzzled dangerously close to that damned glowing fig leaf.
A slow, incredulous grin stretched across Kael's face.
"…Oh. Oh hell yes."
But the temple wasn't finished with him.
The altar throbbed again, light rippling across its surface like a heartbeat. Kael felt it reverberate through the soles of his feet, up his spine, and into his chest emblem. Then, with a cheerful ding, another glowing message popped into the air.
---
[Tutorial Quest Unlocked: Claim Your First Waifu.]
Objective: Successfully seduce a partner without being slapped unconscious.
Reward: Upgrade to Charisma: 5 (barely tolerable).
---
Kael stared, sweat prickling at his brow. His voice cracked like an adolescent bard's lute string. "Wait, wait, WAIT—this is moving way too fast! I don't even have pants! I'm not—there's no way I can—"
But the universe had no interest in his protests.
In his arms, the elf priestess stirred. Her lashes fluttered, ears twitching faintly as she let out a soft groan. A faint trail of blood still trickled from her nose, staining the edge of her robe. Then her emerald eyes cracked open, hazy at first… until they locked squarely with his.
And that was when the system decided to kick him straight into hell.
---
[Irresistible Charm activated.]
---
Kael's breath hitched.
Her pupils dilated, green swallowing black until her gaze looked bottomless. Her cheeks flared crimson, heat rushing across her face so fast it was visible even in the temple's glow. Her lips parted on a trembling sigh.
"M-my lord…" she whispered, voice weak but charged with something Kael's survival instincts immediately recognized as danger. "Take… responsibility…"
Kael nearly had a heart attack. His brain fired off in a frenzy. Responsibility? For what?! For existing? For breathing? For having a glowing crotch censor?!
"W-Wait, I didn't even say anything yet!" he yelped, panic strangling his words. "Responsibility for what?!"
The priestess tightened her grip around him with surprising strength, pressing herself closer. Kael's ribs squeaked under the pressure as her chest molded against his bare skin, warm, soft, and mortifyingly intimate.
"For… for awakening my womanhood…" she breathed.
Kael's eyes bulged. "WHAT?! I JUST STOOD HERE!"
Another ding cut through his panic.
---
[Warning: System detects denial of waifu affection. Harem Stability -5%.]
---
Kael paled so fast he looked like a ghost. "Stability?! It can drop already?! I've only got one waifu and it's already falling apart!"
His brain scrambled for something—anything—that might salvage the situation. He needed to sound suave. Heroic. Noble. The kind of man worthy of being called "Overlord."
Instead, his mouth betrayed him.
"Uh… s-so… do you, um… come here often?"
The words hung in the air like a fart in a cathedral.
The priestess giggled. Actually giggled. Her blush deepened, nosebleed worsening as if his pathetic line had only inflamed her further. She clung to him tighter, sighing like a maiden in a love poem.
The system chimed triumphantly.
---
[Tutorial complete. First waifu acquired.]
[Charisma upgraded to 5: barely tolerable.]
---
Kael sagged, numb with disbelief. "Barely tolerable? That's the upgrade?!"
But the priestess only nestled closer, whispering his title like a prayer.
And Kael realized, with creeping horror, that this madness was only the beginning.
Kael froze, every muscle locking stiff. His mouth worked once, twice, before sound finally scraped out.
"…Wait. That counted?!"
The elf answered not with logic but with warmth. Her arms tightened around him, pressing her body close like she was afraid he'd vanish if she let go. Her voice trembled, soft and reverent. "Yes… you are truly my destined lord…"
Kael's inner voice did not tremble. It shrieked at the top of its lungs.
WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT SYSTEM IS THIS?!
But the universe ignored him. The priestess nuzzled into his bare chest with all the tender devotion of a woman in a romance ballad, and behind her, the glowing altar dimmed, its light softening like a beast satisfied after a meal. The runes' pulse slowed to a lazy rhythm, as though the temple itself approved of this absurd union.
That was when Kael realized something bone-chilling.
This wasn't a fever dream. It wasn't some drunken hallucination after too much mead.
This was real.
This was happening.
And reality came with fine print.
A fresh window blinked into existence, floating mockingly in front of his face.
---
[Main Quest Unlocked: Build the Greatest Harem in the Realms.]
---
Kael's hands trembled as the words burned themselves into his retinas. He glanced wildly around the temple, hoping for some kind of exit, some crack in the wall, anything to let him run from this insanity.
No escape.
His gaze dropped back to the elf still clinging to him like a blushing newlywed, her ears twitching against his collarbone, her soft breaths tickling his skin.
Kael's throat bobbed. He whispered the only words that seemed remotely honest in the face of his doom:
"…Gods help me. I'm going to die buried under boobs."
The system chimed, merciless as ever.
---
[Affirmative.]
---
And so it began.
Kael Draven—penniless, pantsless, hopeless pervert—had stumbled headfirst into destiny. Not as a hero, not as a king, not even as a halfway respectable adult. But as the prophesied Lustful Emperor, the man who would one day shake the heavens, rattle the hells, and topple nations with nothing more than his libido.
All because he slipped on moss. Naked.