Feng Jiu
I coughed. I laugh bitterly after I see the blood that smeared the floor. The taste of regrets and hatred was more bitter than the pain of my stab wounds or any physical wounds I have right now.
I raise my head and look at him. "Is it fun, hmm?" I ask.
I sit properly on the stairs behind my throne. He crouches down and looks at me with such a devilish smile.
"Indeed. Finally! A reign of true leaders will lead this empire. Women should only behave and listen to their husbands. Be obedient and stupid," Liu Shang stated.
In this empire, women sit on the throne. Men were the ones who became the concubine. The empire of Fenghuang had been ruled by women since it was founded one hundred fifty years ago. But it looks like my blindness will end its era for female emperors.
"But this kingdom doesn't need selfish, greedy, and evil male emperors like you!" I roared. I spit blood on his face. He slaps me, and that doesn't hurt me at all.
"Bastard!" he roars.
He stood up and looked at the eunuchs, soldiers, and maidservant who met their demise because of me. My tears fall. Where did this go wrong? Does it start from the selection ten years ago? Did he even love me for once?
"I can't believe I still choose a jinx like you!" I roared.
He laughs and taps my cheeks. "You are just dumb. You believe in those lies that I said. You really think those are promises? How foolish. Too bad that you believe me instead of Ning He," he commented. I look at my trusted maid, who was lying in front of me, surrounded by her own blood.
"Ning He?" I whispered.
"Good thing my sister followed my order. Did you know that he was planning to stop our wedding and tell you the truth? That bastard learned that I have a love child with Xue Ning. Ah, you heard me right. Your cousin Xue Ning and I have a ten-year-old son."
I raise my head and look at him. I can't believe what I just heard! My trusted cousin had been fooling me all these years?! I laugh, and my palm into fists.
"My sister connived with Ning He's servant and drugged him that night. A blazing night happened between the two of them, and Father found out. He left no choice but to marry my sister on the same day we get married."
He swings his sword while walking left to right in front of me. "But he suddenly goes back in the borderland to avoid my sister. What a bastard! My sister was heartbroken and started fooling with other men, which brought disgrace to our family! That's why... I planned his death on this very day. That's why... you will be joining him today!"
He stops and raises his sword. I didn't close my eyes and gave him a sharp gaze, which he will never forget even after beheading me!
"You will never be happy! You will never be happy!" I roared and coughed.
I look at my hand that was stained by my own blood. What a bitter life I have. I should've listened to my instinct that time. My eyes dilated when I felt that warm liquid that smeared my face. I raise my hand and touch my face.
Blood?! I raise my head. I was shocked when I saw Liu Shang's body and that blade of the spear that pierced his heart. His body was thrown away like garbage. My tears fell harder when I saw the man standing in front of me.
"Ning... He..." I mumbled.
He throws his weapon and kneels in front of me. He bows his head. His left hand turned to a fist, then wrapped his right palm on it.
"Greetings, Your Majesty. Forgive me... I was too late," he whispered. I crawled my way on him and held his face. I look at his body, and it's full of deep wounds.
"Why did you come back? Why?! You already knew Liu Shang's plans. How can you be so reckless, Ning He?!" I roared.
He laughs and holds my face. "I want to see your face one last time. I want to confess for the first and one last time, Your Majesty... Forgive me for letting you suffer because of him. If I can only turn back the time, I won't... let him have you."
He leans closer and claims my lips. "I've been and will always love you, Feng Jiu..." He closes his eye. "No... No... Nooo!!"
"No! No! Ning He!" I screamed.
I get up and breathe heavily. I raise my palm and touch my face. "Tears?"
I looked at my hands and saw how clean they were. My fingernails were painted with balsam flower and... "I'M NOT DEAD?!" I roared.
I look around and get off the bed. I run to the door and open it. My eyes dilated when I saw the snow falling from the sky.
"Snow? How come? It's already summer and..." It's still dark, and for some reason, I have doubts. I ran off and didn't care if the ground was cold and I was walking barefoot.
"Ning He... I have to find Ning He!" I screamed. I was running to the gate of my gate when the guards stopped me. "Your Majesty!"
They turned their back. I looked at myself and saw how disgraceful my looks were. "Your Majesty, you must go back to your chamber. It's still midnight. You can't roam around at this hour," one of the soldiers says. I step back. Midnight...?
"What year is it today?" I ask.
The other one answers. "It's the 140th year of Golden Phoenix, Your Majesty, midwinter," he replied. I turn back and run inside my chamber, then close the door.
"Midwinter? Ten years ago?! What is going on here?!"
I went back to my bed and was staring at the ceiling. My vision became blurry again. I remember every single word of confession that Liu Shang told me about Ning He.
I had a crush on Ning He when I was 14, but he left and tagged along with her dad when he went back to the borderland.
The day he came back to the capital, he was already the most fearsome, strongest, and bravest general of the biggest family army of our kingdom. Their soldiers were even larger than the imperial army. I close my eyes.
"If I'm really reborn... Please, I want to change everything about the past."
The next morning, I raise my hand and know that I'm not dead. I get up, and when Dai Leyan enters, I know I'm still ten years back, which I'm grateful for.
"Your Majesty, you have to get up now. The empress dowager will surely scream at you for slacking again.
"She shouldn't be holding the morning court, but because of your hobby, she's still stuck with those... you know," she says.
I look at her and smile. I'm happy to see her cheerfulness again. I didn't notice that before, but right at this moment, I'm glad that I can be able to see it.
"I want to take a bath, Lele," I remarked.
She looks at me weirdly when I give her a nickname. "Your Majesty, are you okay?" she asks.
I went to my bathhouse and told them to stay outside. I have to clean myself. I have a new purpose in this second chance that I get.
I'm the empress, and I have all the right and power to force someone to be my husband. From now on, I'll be the first ruler of this empire who will only have one husband.
I'll never have any consort that will only betray me. HE is enough for me! After taking a bath, Lele helped me in changing my clothes. She also knew how to dry my hair and put on accessories after.
"What do you think, Your Majesty? Did you like it?" she asks. I smiled and looked at her. "Yes."
I was on my way to my mother's chamber. If I remember it right, today is the day that she'll make a verdict and send it to five men that pass the test to be my husbands.
A year after, I choose Liu Shang to be the phoenix consort. I walked as fast as I could until I reached her chamber. "MOTHER!" I roared.
I barge in, and everyone bows their head upon my arrival. Mother looks at me. "What is happening here, my daughter?" she asks.
I saw the verdict that she had already finished writing. I grab them all and throw them on the floor. I grab the candles and throw them on these pieces of paper.
All those men whom I trusted had turned their backs and plotted treason all those years. I wrongfully trusted a man and shifted my feelings for him.
"What are you doing, my daughter?! Those are the verdicts for your marriages!" Mother exclaimed.
"Mother. Don't bother. I already have someone that I want the most. He's the only one I'll marry for the rest of my life." A eunuch enters.
"Empress, Empress Dowager, there's someone who wants to—"
I think it's Liu Shang who... I slowly look back, and my eyes dilate when a familiar man enters my mother's hall. I gulp and my heart stops beating.