CHAPTER 11
Staying alive was our only wish.
AMBER
I had been awake for some time and I could hear sobs. I was surprised because it sounded like a little girl crying, or at least her voice made it seem that way. She was begging to be let go.
She was blindfolded and her hands were tied. She couldn't understand why one leg felt heavier than the other.
She was lying down, immobilized.
My abdomen still ached from the wound. My mind had been in shock seeing his hand inside me, making the cut bigger… which made me feel weak. And perhaps I was.
I felt alone. I felt abandoned.
The other girls started screaming, but somehow I knew it wouldn't work. I saw it in their eyes. I saw it in the other men.
They wouldn't change.
Sometimes it's better to accept that, no matter how much you want to, people don't change.
"Help me, please," one of the girls sobbed. "I'm begging you... please."
I heard another one moaning. Maybe she was hurt, just like me.
Suddenly they caught me off guard and forced me to stand up. I tried to pull away, but they removed my blindfold, untied me, and then pushed me, as if they wanted to get away from me.
I looked around. To my right, I saw women and men of different ages watching us; some armed, others not. All of them staring at us.
Then I turned to the left. Ten people, showing their faces without fear. And among them, my eyes were fixed on one in particular.
I felt the air escaping from me and I covered my mouth.
No. That wasn't true. How was that possible?
Why didn't someone like him stop what was happening to us?
Tears began to fall. I shook my head several times, in despair.
I was seeing things. That had to be it, right?
He watched me grow up.
He told me I was like family.
"Why?" I asked, looking directly at him. "Why did you do this to me?"
The words came out broken from my mouth. My eyes were fixed on Ari's father.
Mr. Gabriel.
He looked at me seriously. He didn't answer. He just settled back in his seat, looking so comfortable… so calm.
"Don't speak to him like that," a voice I immediately recognized told me.
He was standing right in front of me, but all my attention was still fixed on Ari's father and I didn't notice him.
I fell to the ground with a thud, tripping over myself. Behind him, another boy stared at me with a serious, almost cold expression, while the one who had hurt me earlier approached slowly, as if he were enjoying every step he took.
I looked at my left leg. It was chained. The chain pulled at me, dragging me a few inches across the floor; my body slammed against the ground. She stopped, I was stunned, and then her laughter began to resonate, deep and mocking, filling the entire space.
"I really like that you're such an idiot," he told me, as I tried to get up and looked at the scrapes on my leg.
The other girls were also staring at their chains, desperate.
I sought his help, but his gaze… his gaze was no longer the one I knew. There was something in his eyes I didn't recognize, something dark.
"Ah, no... no, he's not going to get you out of here. Not for now. Isn't that right, boss?" he said, turning his head towards Ari's father.
Mr. Gabriel just looked away to the side, avoiding my eyes.
The boy turned to me again, this time with an even colder expression.
"Why can't you do your job?" asked the other boy behind him. "You're stressing me out, seriously, Eduardo."
So… that was his name.
-Brother…
"I'm not your brother, you fucking idiot," he spat angrily.
Eduardo walked away upon hearing that and shrugged, as if he was already used to that treatment from him.
—As you wish, Victor.— Eduardo replied calmly.
Eduardo started clapping and looking around. I felt their eyes on me, and low laughter escaped me, as if everyone was waiting for something to happen to me.
Then I looked behind Eduardo and Victor.
Was she… a girl?
—They arrived at the exact moment, just when our bosses are here— Eduardo turned to the ten people sitting comfortably, all with their eyes fixed on us.
I felt his eyes piercing me, and then I saw him: a man who wouldn't take his eyes off me.
His suit had a diamond engraved on it. Beside him stood another, younger… No, rather the youngest of those ten.
He had the Joker tattooed on him, the poker card. He noticed my gaze and, realizing it, I immediately looked away, lowering my eyes with a strange weight in my chest.
I looked up at him… and he was smiling, but it wasn't a cruel smile, it was measured, restrained.
Then I felt Victor's grip; his eyes remained fixed on me, serious, filled with a weight that was not only a threat, but also... caution?
He leaned forward slightly, just enough so that only I could hear him.
"If you want to get out of here, stop looking at them. Not even at your friend's father. Do you understand?"
They're not the kind of people you want to be in the crosshairs of... and they're certainly not the ones who are going to help you.
"Believe me," he added in a whisper, almost warm, "I'm telling you this so you can survive."
"If you really wanted to help me, you wouldn't be here in the first place," I replied immediately, my anger barely contained, pulling away from him. I stepped back, trying to create some distance.
He was acting all good now, but to me he was still just as shitty as the rest.
Eduardo's expression was one of pure confusion, as if he couldn't understand Víctor's attitude. Then, slowly, he smiled slightly and looked away at another girl who was sobbing beside him…
As if, somehow, I had found in that scene the answer to what Victor was doing. An answer that I still couldn't understand.
But that thought immediately vanished when I saw the girl walking forward; she wasn't chained up like us and could leave if she wanted.
Victor, on the other hand, headed for the exit. As he pushed open the metal door, he made sure it was closed.
Now he stood there, guarding.
The metal cage that contained us seemed reinforced with thick, cold, rusty wire mesh. Every inch reminded us that there was no escape.
And the whole atmosphere—the echo, the suspended dust, the shadows—confirmed what my mind could barely process.
—Shall we begin?—Eduardo asked, looking at the man with the diamond embroidery.
He nodded, without saying a word.
I instinctively stepped back, as if taking a few steps back might give me a false sense of security.
Victor gave me one last look, a mixture of warning and resignation, before opening the door.
Five men came in.
There were five of us girls.
The first blow was aimed directly at the blonde. She began to shake her head, sobbing, her voice barely a trembling thread. She tried to resist, to push him away, but he grabbed her tightly. When she tried to break free, the blow came sharply, brutally, directly.
He fell to the ground without being able to react.
The man pulled her up with a jerk, and this time… she didn't fight back.
The second one came straight towards me.
I saw Victor barely shake his head at me, a silent warning… but I backed away anyway. I knew it didn't matter how fast I ran: we were trapped, with no way out.
I turned my eyes towards him… towards Ari's father.
—Please! I beg you, please! Help me!—I screamed with all my might, my voice breaking.
All I saw was his eyes welling up, as if something inside him wanted to react, but he didn't move. He didn't say a word.
He behaved like everyone else: distant and empty.
He faked it.
He faked it all this time.
—I don't understand why she's doing this to me—I managed to say between sobs— I was always good to Ari… she knows very well that we… that we are like sisters.
The boy held me tightly, dragging me out of the cage. I struggled desperately, trying to break free from his grip.
"You never deserved that family! You never deserved Ari! Your brother was right!" I screamed, filled with rage and pain.
Then he opened his eyes suddenly, as if my words had pierced him.
For a second, I thought he would get up, but he barely glanced at the man beside him—the one who seemed to be the leader—and sat back down.
Pretending again.
But I knew it.
What I had said had hurt him. There was truth in my words, something I was hiding… something Ari didn't know yet.
And when I understood, I felt a chill run through my body.
Because that truth, when it came to light, would break his heart.
And then I understood why Ari and I were so different… and so similar at the same time.
The boy covered my mouth.
My despair erupted and I began to cry; it was the only thing I could do. Everything disgusted me: his violence, his body so close to mine… I felt his complete control over me, and I hated feeling that way.
From my teenage years until now, everything was the same.
They were always taking advantage of the situation.
It made me feel insignificant.
I felt so dirty.
"Shut up already," he whispered in my ear, his voice harsh, as he forcibly pulled me to my feet. He opened a door and pushed me; I fell to the floor, off balance, the thud echoing in my ears.
I looked around.
It was an elegant, immaculate place, like a corporate building, a company where no one would imagine what was really happening inside.
The blonde woman was standing. Her clothes were dirty with dirt. She approached me and, trembling, took my arm to help me up.
The door opened again.
The others entered, holding the other girls.
First, a young woman with brown skin fell to the ground; she looked Mexican like me.
Then one with dreadlocks, of African descent, her breathing ragged with fear.
And finally… the little girl, who was no more than ten years old.
—Well… can you hear me, girls? Can you hear me, little one? —Eduardo's voice echoed through the building's speakers.
I watched as, one by one, the boys lined up by the door through which we had entered. Each one looked us up and down, sizing us up as if we were food.
I didn't take my eyes off the boy, who remained unfazed.
His eyes showed satisfaction at seeing my fear, at noticing that I was clearly scared.
Then I saw the little girl let out a shriek when she realized she was being watched.
I couldn't imagine someone so young in a situation like this, nor the state of her parents having her away.
The man covered in marks and scars frightened her, the one who stared at her with longing, a sickly gleam in his eyes. The girl ran to me instinctively, because I was the closest.
She clung to my leg and lifted her little face to look at me.
Her breathing was ragged; she was trembling with pure panic. Without thinking, I picked her up, pressed her against me, and forced her to curl her head up, burying it in my chest.
Then I felt another gaze fixed on me.
The boy let out a laugh, as if amused to see me trying to protect the girl.
And, with a commanding gesture, he pointed to the one who seemed most eager to approach… giving him the green light to act.
"I haven't given you the order yet, you idiots," Eduardo said, seeing one of the boys trying to approach me.
I clenched my fists, trying to memorize every feature, every detail of them… in case I made it out alive.
The one who had taken the step towards me had his fists covered in poorly healed wounds; you could still see the reddish tone of his skin, as if each blow he had delivered had left a fresh mark.
His eyes were slightly slanted, but I doubted he was Asian. Maybe he was mixed race, or he just had that sharp gaze naturally.
His shaved, white-dyed hair contrasted sharply with his rugged skin. He was muscular, though not as much as Eduardo, and not as tall either. It was clear he hadn't been working out for very long; his strength came more from instinct than training.
And yet, there was something in his expression—that mixture of impatience and restrained pleasure—that made you understand that he was dangerous.
"You have five minutes to hide inside this building. If they don't find you when the timer runs out, you'll have survived. But every five minutes you must leave your hiding place and find another. At the end of the thirty minutes, none of my colleagues can touch a single hair on your head... but during the test, you're allowed to do whatever you want." Eduardo finished speaking, and I knew that even though I couldn't see him, he was wearing that smile, that damned smile.
Immediately, a screen lit up at the top of the wall, displaying a timer that showed five minutes to hide.
We looked at each other, searching in each other's eyes for a plan, a sign, something.
Nothing.
Just fear.
I squeezed the baby girl I was carrying tighter and turned around, desperately looking for a way out, any corner that might help us.
We started running. Footsteps echoed through the empty hallways as the stopwatch ticked down second by second. The other girls followed, panting, some sobbing.
"What do we do? Do we split up?" one of them asked, looking down the dark hallways while trying not to trip.
We were already far from where they were.
I was exhausted too, my body felt heavy, but I couldn't let the girl walk alone.
I knew I could do it, but fear gnawed at my mind: if something scared her, if I ran... I could lose her.
And in this place, losing her would be condemning her.
—There's one minute left before they start looking for us—I said and sighed, looking at an open door.
[•••]
ARI
I looked down the hallway for her. I felt like I was walking in circles, that every step led me back to the same spot. I needed to find her, take her home, give her back the normalcy that had been stolen from us. My eyes felt heavy, and exhaustion throbbed in my temples.
Amber, I'm going to save you... I promise.
My vision blurred. I could just make out a figure in front of me. Its head slowly rose and it looked at me.
I couldn't see his eyes.
There he was again. I was fed up. When I walked toward him, the figure vanished, as if it had been an illusion.
I glanced to the side and there was Amber; she was terrified, crawling on the ground, escaping from something. I looked behind her and immediately screamed:
-Amber!
I startled awake in my hospital bed and sat bolt upright. My mother was asleep in the armchair beside me. I touched my head, feeling dizzy.
I lay back down and covered my face. Amber wouldn't leave my head, and it made me feel so sensitive. I felt the urge to run away; I wanted to, but since I've been here, they haven't let me leave.
I told them I'm fine, but the doctor has refused; the policeman Garcia has refused; my father and mother haven't objected to that decision.
It's been a day since it happened. After they found me distraught in the middle of nowhere, they took me home. I had a breakdown, I wanted to go out and look for her in the early morning, and they took me to the hospital.
I'm not crazy. I'm suffering because I can't afford to lose the people I love and who are precious to me, not just because they're in my life, but because they're innocent of everything. They don't deserve this, because they're wonderful people… and I dragged them down.
It was almost ten o'clock at night, and I'd been suspended all day because, according to them, I might make rash decisions. Jeff hasn't come to see me because he thinks I'm angry, but I was just trying to stop them. It wasn't his fault the blow knocked him unconscious.
Even so, he made a good decision not to come looking for me right away; I wasn't thinking clearly, and my mood has been terrible. I'm angry at absolutely everyone.
The door opened and Liam's presence filled the room. He was carrying a bag of food. As he entered, he looked at me and then at my mother, who was still asleep in the armchair. I sat up and he shook his head several times, as if he already knew what I was going to ask him.
I wanted to get out of that room.
"Help me," I whispered as she approached. She placed the bag on the small table and walked toward me.
I barely raised my head so I could look him in the eyes.
"Your parents are going to scold me," she said in a low voice, glancing nervously at my mother, as if she were afraid that she would wake up or think something strange seeing us so close.
I held out my hands so he could help me up. The medicine was still taking effect; my body felt numb and heavy.
Liam hesitated for a moment. He looked at me with that thoughtful expression he always has, and then met my gaze again. I gave him a small smile, trying to convince him, and that seemed to disarm him.
"Relax, I'm not trying to win you over," I said with a half-smile, looking down. I resigned myself to it, but felt his hands on mine.
"I'll just take you so you can get some air," he finally replied.
I nodded. I stood up, straining to avoid putting all the weight on him.
I managed to stand up and took a few slow steps to get used to it.
He let go of me little by little… and I walked. Slowly, but I did it.
[•••]
"You woke up because you dreamed about Amber again, right?" Liam asked as we looked at the buildings from the hospital rooftop.
The wind was cold and made the silence heavier. We had gone up in the elevator, without anyone seeing us.
"Yes…" I replied. "It's hard for me to think that she's not here. That she might be suffering because of me. And what scares me most… is never seeing her again."
Perhaps I sounded too sincere for the short time we had been talking again, after everything that had happened.
But I felt comfortable. I needed to talk to someone, and he… he was the perfect person. Whenever I needed comfort, I went to Amber, and now that she was gone, he was the only one I had left.
Camila and I always sought her help. It hurts that I can't do anything to save her… not even now.
"She'll come back, I assure you," he said gently, trying to reassure me. "They'll help her somehow."
I gave a bitter smile and looked away, holding back the tears that were burning my eyes.
—It's not your fault, Ari.
"Yes, she is, Liam... and she doesn't deserve it." My voice trembled.
He took a step towards me, but stopped immediately, regretting it.
"Okay," I murmured, "I understand."
—No, that's not it, Ari. It's not what you think.
Of course he was. He didn't want to get close to me so as not to confuse me... or so as not to confuse himself.
"I think so," I said without looking away. "I know what happened during the interrogation was meant to help me, and I appreciate that... it was liberating, in a way. But I also know you're trying to maintain your boundaries."
Lian ran her hands through her hair and sighed heavily.
—It's difficult… everything comes so naturally to us despite the time that has passed. It scares me.
"Are you afraid something might happen to you for being near me?" I asked, knowing that was what was on my mind the most.
"I've never thought about leaving you." Her voice cracked slightly. "You have no idea what I think about you."
I looked at him, and our eyes met. There was something in his gaze that stopped my heart.
"Then tell me," I whispered. "Do you think it's not difficult for me?"
"I know it is," she replied in the same low tone. "But it is for me too. I'm afraid that this…" she gestured between them, "will disappear. That one day we'll forget each other. I don't want to lose you, Ari. It scares me that I won't see your face again, that I won't hear your voice, that you'll make decisions alone, that you'll carry everything and be dying inside without telling me anything."
He paused and held my gaze with an intensity that made me want to start crying, but I held it back.
"If you're going to look for Amber, don't go alone. I want to be with you, by your side. I know I'm contradicting myself," she let out a soft, bitter laugh. "I know what I told you when I fought with Jeff a few days ago: that we'd only be friends, that I'd set boundaries... but I can't, Ari. It's impossible for me. Every time I see you... I want to protect you."
Her voice cracked, and I knew that what was coming was not just an impulse.
"If I could turn back time," she said, looking down, "I would. Just to prevent all of this. To prevent you from meeting Ian… or the idiot behind it all. Amber's kidnapping, your dreams, the fights, the beatings, the pain. I would change everything… just for you."
I remained silent. Neither of us moved, because we both knew that if either of us did, we would destroy what was happening between us. Both of our eyes were filled with tears.
"Sometimes I'd think... what my life would be like if I'd never met you. And honestly, even though I thought you'd become a different person, I accepted that I didn't want to get over it. Not because I didn't want to move on... I paused, swallowing hard, I don't know how to explain it, because you were someone who came to teach me that I can love. Liam... time proved us right. You were always the same person I fell in love with, and I hope you're trying not to think about it now."
My tears began to trickle down my cheeks.
"But we can't be together right now. It's not the right time..." As he said this, everything we seemed to be holding back shattered. He leaned toward me, then straightened up, trying to remain calm, but he shook his head. Tears began to flow from him like I'd never seen them before.
I covered my eyes to hide my crying, which I could no longer control.
"Ari... why can't we ever be together?" she asked, her voice breaking. Her tears flowed freely. It wasn't a complaint; it sounded more like a lament she couldn't accept, just as I couldn't either.
Not even two years ago, when everything started out beautiful but we were both hurt in the process and ended up drifting apart. And now, when everything was supposed to get better, life got in the way again.
"Perhaps... perhaps we were destined never to meet," I whispered, and then he collapsed against me. We hugged each other tightly, as if that gesture could stop the world.
—If I had the choice——her voice broke against my shoulder—that I had never been drugged, that I had been in good health, that I hadn't been accused… but that it meant never having met you… I would choose to be with you every time, even if it meant suffering in the process, just to have you in my life.