Chapter 32
Days had passed, and neither Queen Yseldra nor Nerissea had been seen. When I inquired, I was told Her Majesty had been occupied, which came as no surprise. Nerissea was said to be with her, and that too was expected. Nerissea belonged to Her Majesty, after all.
The snow had begun to fall, blanketing the world beyond my window in white. How lovely it looked. If I could choose to dwell forever in one season, it would without question be winter.
I leaned upon the windowpane in my chamber, and a soft, foolish laugh escaped me. I knew I was being biased, but I adored the color. It was the purest of all, the one most near to heaven.
A knock came at the door.
"Come in," I called, my gaze still fixed upon the falling snow. A large flake landed on the base of the window. I bent lower, hoping to study its shape, but it vanished before I could.
"Lady Naevia."
My head turned at once toward the voice. Nerissea was walking toward me with small smile.
"Nerissea!" I called with delight, hurrying toward her. I was so overcome with joy at the sight of her that all shyness of what had transpired between us and Her Majesty was swept aside.
I halted just before her. She had clearly come from outdoors; her dark cloak was damp with melted snow. "What a lovely surprise. One I most heartily welcome."
"Her Majesty is presently with the ministers. She shall be engaged with them for some time. Might I remain here with you whilst I await her return?"
"Of course! I should be most pleased. In fact-" I slipped past her, locked the door, and returned to her side with barely contained excitement. "Now is the perfect time. I was just about to write a letter to Sister Alethea. Shall we continue our lesson?"
"I would love that."
I reached to untie her cloak but neglected to catch it as it fell. My gaze drifted to her bare shoulders. The chill lingered in the air, yet her gown left everything above her chest so exposed. Her Majesty favors such gowns, and it would seem she does as well.
I bit my lower lip, troubled by the thought of them both falling ill.
I hurried to my dresser, retrieved a warm white shawl, and swiftly returned to her, draping it over her shoulders. "There," I said, smiling proudly. "That is better, is it not? Warmer now?"
Her faint smile softened into something more sincere. "Yes. Warmer. Thank you, Lady Naevia."
"Nerissea, please. Simply Naevia will do. The title feels rather strange. It does not sound natural."
"As you wish."
I seated her at my writing desk, placing before her a stack of blank paper, a quill, and the inkwell. I perched upon the edge of the table beside her, leaning slightly, close enough to guide her. As I began, I moved my hands through the air in exaggerated gestures, hoping to make my meaning clear. She would sometimes chuckle ever so softly, and other times she would study me in silence, piecing together my intent.
The hearth continued to burn, casting a warm glow about the chamber. Shadows shifted along the walls, and all was peaceful. Each time I drew a true laugh from her, my heart swelled with pride.
At last, the letter to Sister Alethea was complete. Nerissea sealed the envelope and handed it to me.
"My handwriting is quite poor," she murmured, that familiar faint smile returning.
"Do not worry," I replied gently, taking the envelope. "Practice will make it better."
"Thank you, Naevia," she said, her gaze flicking to the clock. "I should go. Her Majesty will be finished soon." She stood and handed my shawl back to me.
"Um… Nerissea," I said, hesitating. "Are you free to come back tomorrow? I struggle to speak with the staff the way I speak with you. They do not like you… and so I cannot tell how I ought to feel about them. I have been rather lonely."
"I am leaving the palace early tomorrow."
"I apologize," I said at once, lowering my head, eyes falling to my fingers. Shame curled through me. She and Her Majesty were important, busy women. How selfish of me to make such a request simply because I had no company.
"Naevia," she said softly. She stooped slightly, lowering herself until her gaze met mine. "I shall return the day after tomorrow. Shall we do something together then?"
I nodded quickly, warmth blooming in my chest at the thought.
---
I leaned against the windowpane. The drawing room, situated upon the second floor, afforded a clear view of the main entrance just below. From my vantage, I beheld Queen Yseldra and Nerissea standing before the carriage, kissing.
Servants and guards milled about, not one of them surprised. It seemed all were well aware that the two had been sharing a bed. Woman with woman may be scorned by the world, but a noble with their slave was hardly a matter of scandal. Society excused that, no matter the nature of the gender.
I found myself wishing I was a slave. Her Majesty's slave. Then, perhaps, our affections would never have needed hiding.
Nerissea suddenly faltered. She bent forward, both hands clutching her chest. I stood straighter, my heart tightening with concern. Her Majesty steadied her, then stole another kiss from her lips. Nerissea stumbled, nearly collapsing. Her Majesty signaled, and a guard rushed forward to open the carriage. He assisted Nerissea within, while Her Majesty followed close behind. The door was shut, and the coachman flicked the reins. The carriage began its journey toward the gate. It rocked as it moved, swaying with sharp motion.
I narrowed my eyes. Nerissea was clearly unwell. And yet Her Majesty... was still touching her so? The thought unsettled me. Then again, perhaps I was being foolish. Nerissea had kissed her as well. They both desired it. Perhaps she had merely slipped upon the snow. Or perhaps something within her cloak had shifted. But why had she held her chest?
I drew my gaze away. I must not dwell on it.
I departed the drawing room and returned to my chamber, where I lay upon the sofa, my gaze fixed upon the window. I watched the endless whiteness beyond, the snow-covered world so still and pale it felt as though time itself had ceased. When at last I looked away, I found that two hours had passed me by. I blinked in quiet astonishment. Sister Alethea often scolded me for gazing too long at white things. She had not been wrong.
A knock at the door, and I rose to answer it.
A maid bowed. "Her Majesty summons you to her study, Lady Naevia."
I snatched up the letter meant for Sister Alethea and hurried past the maid without pause, my feet carrying me swiftly to my beloved's study. In my excitement, I forgot to knock. I entered breathless, my heart alight.
"Good morning, Your Majesty," I said, panting from my run.
"Naevia," she said with a playful smile, her eyes meeting mine but a moment before returning to the parchment upon her desk.
First things first. I stepped forward and placed the letter upon her desk. "Might I trouble you to have this delivered to Sister Alethea?"
"Of course. I shall see to it, and have it sent by express."
"N-no, just the usual, if you please. There is no need to waste coin," I replied quickly, though I could not contain the smile that rose to my lips.
"Very well."
I drifted to her side, my heart yearning for her touch.
"I have a gift for you," she said mischievously.
At once, my heart leapt.
She gestured with a tilt of her chin toward a white box set upon the desk. "Open it."
With eager fingers, I lifted the lid. But what I found within brought pause. Inside lay a collar. Plain, black, made of perhaps leather and clearly fashioned for a large hound. Beside it, a leash to match.
I stared in silent bewilderment, my smile faltering. She pushed her chair back slightly from the desk and reached for me, guiding me down gently between her parted thighs.
"I want to feel every wicked joy with you," she whispered. "I wish to see you wear it. Will you?"
Heat bloomed across my skin. I gave a nod. Surely, wearing such a thing would bring no harm.
She removed my white cloak, then took up the collar, brushing my hair gently over one shoulder. "There is a carnal fancy I have long wished to see fulfilled…" she murmured as she fastened the leather about my neck. "Will you see it through, for me?"
"M-may I ask… what manner of fancy, Your Majesty?"
Her lips curved. "You shall see."
She rose and gestured for me to do the same. "Come."
I obeyed, but before I could take a single step, she clipped the leash to the collar and held fast to its end. My heart pounded wildly within my chest. I followed, uncertain what awaited.
She led me to the door and opened it. I shrank back, heart seized with dread.
She gave the leash a tug. "Come."
"Your Majesty… there are people just beyond the door."
"Precisely. That is the point."
"To wear this before others is shameful. What if word reaches my family? What if the staff begins to suspect the nature of our bond?"
"Were you intending to conceal it?"
I tilted my head, puzzled. "You were not?"
"No."
My heart fluttered. And yet…
"S-shall the matter remain stay inside these walls?"
"I swear it to Ombrithar," she said, giving the leash another slight tug.
A vow made to Ombrithar held weight. She had never spoken falsehood to me before. My heart grew a little lighter.
"Your Majesty," a guard approached and presented her golden cloak and a maid helped secure it upon her shoulders.
We walked the palace halls for nearly two hours. My face must have been crimson from the shame. All eyes turned to us as we passed. My feet ached terribly. I was unaccustomed to walking so long in heels. The chambers had been warm, but the corridors were not. Without my cloak, the cold bit at my arms and neck. Still, each time she glanced back at me with playful eyes, my heart warmed in return.
"Your Majesty," came a man's voice from behind.
It was Mr. Blightmere. "All is prepared. We await your command."
"As you can see," she said, still casually scrolling without stopping. "I am working on it. In a few months' time, we shall begin."
"Yes, Your Majesty," he replied and departed swiftly.
She stopped then and turned to face me. "Ohhhh… I nearly forgot. A proper bitch crawls on all fours. No wonder my prick has not yet twitched." She lifted a brow.
Slowly, I lowered myself to the ground, onto hands and knees. She smiled with such radiance that I could not help but return it.
"Come now, bitch," she said, tugging the leash.
So I crawled behind her. My dress tangled beneath me, and my knees stumbled upon its folds, but for her, I would endure anything.
"Does this not stir something within you?" she asked, glancing down at me with a grin.
"No," I admitted quietly. "But it seems that in doing this, you are pleased."
"What?" she sighed, stopping. "Get up, Naevia. If you do not enjoy it, I shall take no joy in it either. Such pleasures must be shared between both hearts."
"Ah! No, truly, I… I do feel something odd. A strange thrill from being watched," I said quickly, the words a lie, though the warmth in my chest came from her concern.
"Right?" she laughed, her voice light as a breeze.
And so we continued. I could only hope that all which occurred within the palace remained within. If it did not, the name Ashcroft would be dragged through ruin.