09. "FEAR vs LOVE"
I feel like I'm caught right in the middle of love and fear, I wanna open up but at the same time I'm facing fear before love, I rather be loved by her instead of me loving her. I know that she could be the apple of my eye and the music to my heart but I'm just having a hard time letting her in.
She make me feel good, loved, needed, seen and appreciated, we've been knowing each other for 7 months and I still feel like she won't be careful with my heart if I hand over my love to her.
She's so beautiful, she has pretty eyes and a beautiful smile too, she walks with such a sexy body, her presence is soothing and I know that her aura could be heal me if I let her but I'm just facing fear before love, I rather be loved than to love her too.
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID"
She said, "why does it seem like you're scared of love? It's been 7 months but you still haven't opened up to me, your WhatsApp settings make you seem like a ghost, you don't wanna love me, you don't trust me, you are playing it safe and it makes me feel like you don't care about me".
But I do care about her, I'm just scared of history repeating itself..
10. "HISTORY X2"
I've been here before, I've seen this happen before, she's falling for me before I even catch feelings for her, she's telling me how much she loves me before I'm able to feel an emotion about her, this is a messy situation but I can't let history repeat itself.
Her love and care for me will eventually get to me because I'm also human, the way she craves for my attention and presence could possibly break down this wall between me and love. I've been here before, I know how this goes and it feels like history is repeating itself.
This ain't even a deja vu, I've been here before with a girl from a same tribe as her, my love has been begged for like this before, a girl has fell in love with me before I loved her once upon a time, so I know how this goes and I hate the fact that it feels like history is repeating itself.
She gives me everything I secretly crave for, she gives me validation, attention, affection and honesty, just like way before, so I'm stuck between running away from love and giving in.
I know how this goes, I've been here before, I'm gonna fall in love with the things she does for me, I'm gonna get attached and open to love for the second time, I can't fucking let history repeat itself.
I say I like her but I know I wouldn't want it to be love, I say I care about her and that's the truth, because when she needs me, I'm gonna be there and I'll give her everything she gives me but not my love.
I can't let history repeat itself..
11. "CHANGES"
Everytime we talk, it's always another day in court, bringing up old shit and all of the things that I refuse to change about me, she wanna have me attached and fucked up over her, it all starts with a kiss and ends with a heartbreak.
Everybody isn't to be trusted, so I'm not gonna give my love to somebody that's gonna wake up loving another dude, she's pulling for my love now but when she changes on me, she's gonna forget about the changes I made for her.
She wants me to change my ways for her, she wants me to open up for her temporal love, I rather be a cold hearted nigga or whatever she calls me, than to suffer the consequences of trusting a girl like her. I don't wanna be played, lied to or misled, because girls that are in relationships always sneak with me, so there's no longer such thing as love, especially from girls that are like her.
Everytime we spend time, she keeps talking about the things I don't wanna change, whilst she's got somebody in her life. Everytime we meet up, I already know that I'm in for a court day, bringing up old shit and all the things I didn't wanna change for her.
Girls like her are too quick change, so I'm not gonna change for her because she's gonna forget about the changes I made for her when she changes on me.