I'm still afraid of the dark.
The dark ceiling, the quiet hallway, the shadowed stairs... all of them feel so scary and mysterious. It always seems like something is hiding inside the cracks and damp, moldy corners, waiting to crawl out and catch me.
"They're still here, living among us. Just like all their other lies."
I quickly turned around. It was Lucy. I said, "I'm not scared of monsters, Lucy! They don't scare me."
"Then why do you still sleep with a candle?"
"I just don't like the dark, that's all! Now, can you please leave me alone?"
"You can't sleep either, can you?"
She was right—I couldn't sleep.
I started whining again, "Why are you still here?! Did you come to laugh at me because I'm scared? Or did you think this is the perfect time at night to check if the rumors about me being a monster are true?!"
Slowly, Lucy tiptoed into my messy, dirty room. She walked carefully, trying not to step on the mold and dead bugs scattered around. Now that she was standing close, I could see her doll-like face from not far away. Her golden hair shone strangely in the flickering candlelight, like it was softly burning! Her big, bug-like eyes made my heart beat faster. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't! There was a kind, motherly warmth in her gaze that felt so familiar. The depth in her eyes stirred blurry memories inside me, like she was trying to wake up a forgotten memory in my heart.
I didn't get it at all! What I said should have hurt her! My voice should have scared her. Lucy is so moody and sensitive; she's scared of most things—like bugs and spiders—just like other girls! So why did she bravely step into a room filled with dead insects?
I think Lucy knew I couldn't resist her mysterious gaze, so she started moving closer and closer.
What is she doing? Why is she kneeling in front of me?!
With her usual smiling face, Lucy whispered, "But I think you're pretty!"
"Huh? Wh... what?"
"I mean, you don't look like a monster at all! You're really pretty, just like all the girls!"
"How... how can you say such silly things?! What's pretty about me?! It's you…"
I stopped myself. What was I saying? I couldn't tell her how I really felt! This was so uncomfortable!
Lucy muttered under her breath, "What about me?"
What is happening? My face is burning, my heart is pounding hard. What is this strange, painful feeling?
Unconsciously, I whispered, "You're really pretty…"
"What? Say it louder!"
Again, I whispered nervously, "P-pretty, that's all..."
"Ah! Come on! Is it really that hard to say? Is it a bad word?"
Finally, I shouted out of frustration, "I think you're pretty and I'm ugly!!! Now shut up!!!"
For the first time, Lucy listened and stared silently at me like one of the dead bugs on the floor.
She gathered her courage again and said, "That's not true! You… you're not ugly at all. Have you… have you ever looked in a mirror?"
"I don't like to look."
"Why not?"
"That's none of your business!"
Lucy is smart and knows how to make people say things they're afraid of. Maybe she was born to be a judge! Or maybe one day she'll be a queen! Probably a queen, because she's pretty—and because women can't be judges! But either way, I won't let her keep doing this! I won't let her know how I really feel!
Lucy shouted, frowning, "Then let me tell you!"
What just happened? Lucy shouted at me? That's impossible!
She softened her voice and continued, "If you don't want to look in the mirror, it's okay. I'll tell you..."
I didn't understand.
Now it felt like she was my mirror and I was watching her. Like the Evil Queen in Snow White, My heart raced as if it was saying, "Mirror, oh mirror on the wall, tell me..."
After a moment, Lucy began to speak: "Where do I start... your eyes..."
She raised her head and stared right into mine. Then, in a barely audible voice, she said, "Your blue eyes… they shine like a moon emerald, so captivating and… magnificent. And with your hair, they glow even more. You know, I love the color of your hair! It looks soft and silky. Its black color… like a crow's. By the way, did you know I like crows more than other birds? Because crows are freer than other birds. Crows live so easily… no one cages them, no one listens to their caws. You hardly notice them day or night. Plus, they have beautiful black feathers… Honestly, it reminds me of you. Though many say my hair is beautiful, and not everyone has golden hair, I feel that unlike your hair, mine is nothing special..."
I begged with my eyes, "Tell me more... more... I want to know..."
"Anyway, what I want to say is, no matter what people say, you're not ugly. You're not a mons..ter.."
"Lu-lu… Lu…cy..."
My body… my body… went numb. I couldn't move. Everywhere… everywhere was dark! Everywhere was dark! Everywhere was dark!!! Everywhere was dark!!!
Lucy… is dead.