By Order of Mother Dearest Spoken by the Shadow Man Himself
"I ain't got time to spoon-feed prophecy, sugar. You get ten. That's it. I'm only doin' this 'cause Mother Dearest scribbled it into the fine print. You want more? Light a candle, call my name six times, and pray I'm in the mood. But I wouldn't hold my breath."
1. Have you ever loved anyone?
I have. Once or twice. Maybe three. But you know how it goes—one vow here, another under a blood moon there. I've had many husbands, many wives, mostly by contract. Holidays are hell. But hey, a harem's a harem. Fit for a deal-making king. I ain't bitter. Just busy.
2. What's your true name?
I've got a list longer than the Mississippi, baby. But you'll never get a single one. Folk who speak my true name tend to… disappear. Ask the ghosts of Jamestown—if you can find them.
3. What do you want with Ayoka and Viktor?
Can't ruin the story now, can I? That'd spoil all the good drama. Let's just say: this tale's got legs. Long legs. Scaled, charmed, cursed—beautiful legs. And I plan to watch every step.
4. Your thoughts on Genevieve?
Keep that glitter-cracked butterfly away from me. And her daddy too—man's a two-bit pimp with a mirror complex. Should've never put my dick in crazy, but here we are.
5. And Sabine?
Don't get me started on that Silk Spinner. She's all lace and venom. Viktor says he needs her for the plan. Fine. I get it. But one day that spider'll spin herself into a corner.
6. Why do you always look different?
Same story, different skins. That's the rule, sweetheart. Stories echo, but people? They shift. So do I. Some see a gentleman. Some see a god. Some see their worst memory in a fine suit.
7. Do you care about freedom?
I do. Freedom comes in three flavors: the kind you earn, the kind you take, and the kind you think you have. Most folks don't know the difference 'til it's gone. But the war's comin'. And some folks are gonna get real acquainted with what freedom costs. Y'all are gonna love that chapter. Or is it an arc?
8. Why do you speak in riddles?
Now that one's funny. Keep it. Frame it. Put it in a damn museum.
9. Are you evil?
I'm what I need to be. If you want a box to put me in, try Lawful Malevolence. Not quite evil, not quite kind—just interested. Some call it neutral. I call it efficient.
10. Will you ever leave them alone?
Yes and no. Technically, they're under my celestial ownership clause. I had to fill out Sonster paperwork and everything—pain in my smoke-stained ass. I could leave 'em alone. But as their primary deity of shadows and inescapable bargains? I'm on the hook. Sonster licensing wasn't cheap either—cost me three black holes. (That's about $3 USD, depending on the soul market conversion rate.)
"Now run along, sugar. Don't go knockin' on dark doors if you ain't ready to see who answers. And remember: a shadow don't follow you. It waits."