Overall, the school day passed without incident. If you don't count the fact that most students shied away from me in the hallways, while the rest carefully pretended not to notice me. By the way, neither Emma Barnes nor Madison Clements were at school today. The only person who acknowledged my presence and talked to me was Sophia Hess. Not to say we were thick as thieves, we just exchanged a few words. Current matters, like what the next class was, and what a bore this teacher is. She also lent me her textbook.
This version of Sophia surprised me. It was somehow unusual to see her... normal. Fifth says she has moral trauma, she grew up in a cult of strength, in a troubled neighborhood. The flood after Leviathan's visit to Seattle, April two thousand three, the city afterward - devastation and anarchy, no electricity, communication, drinking water or food, gangs of marauders and all the other delights of civilization's destruction. In two thousand three, the PRT came up with the brilliant idea of pursuing Leviathan in his native environment, the Triumvirate and a squad of specially selected capes tried to destroy him based on radar readings and Prophets from Think Tank, as a result all attention was diverted to the chase, the city itself remained outside the field of vision of decision-makers. The result - two weeks of complete anarchy on city streets. That's when Sophia triggered, when she tried to protect her mother from a gang of marauders. She was eight years old. What exactly happened there is unknown, my bugs couldn't find any information on the network, the PRT databases hacked by Tattletale with "Top Secret" classification also contained no useful information. However, Shadow Stalker's psychological profile mentioned PTSD and a tendency toward violence. Oh yes, our athlete is the same as me. She doesn't just see Thestrals, she creates them. Simply put, Sophia Hess is a killer. A vigilante. The PRT recruited her after catching her red-handed, right over a corpse with a crossbow bolt in the head. The situation was covered up... however, investigators noted that apparently Shadow Stalker wasn't hunting for the first time. The crossbow bolt tips were treated with a special compound, she carefully cleaned them. Considering that otherwise Sophia wasn't such a neat freak - the conclusion was that these bolts had already seen action.
After the bugs on the tablets read this information, I looked at Sophia with different eyes. A killer, yes? No, I don't judge her, who am I to judge such things? I'm up to my elbows in blood myself, if not deeper. And in general, killing one's own kind is a proud tradition of humanity throughout all of history. So I looked at her with different eyes not to spit contemptuously on her head. A killer? Welcome to the club of Thestral observers. Though... she was there long before I earned my membership card, so she might welcome me, so to speak. Well... she tried. I can't stand her, but I no longer feel anger. The anger has passed. In some ways I even understand her a little, she's infuriated that people live in their made-up world... that they don't understand what chthonic horror lies in each of us, that "Lord of the Flies" hasn't gone anywhere, it's right here, in the heart of every teenager. Just remove the police and superheroes from the streets and you won't recognize this world... until a new order comes. Might makes right absolutely - that's what Sophia wants to say. Do I need to convince her otherwise? I look at her thoughtfully, twirling a pencil in my fingers. I have a lot to do after school today, right now I'm writing orders and directives on three tablets at once, receiving information from the streets and corresponding with Tattletale and Grue. If not for my multitasking, not for my ability - I could never go to school. Sitting in class during history lesson - I can simultaneously receive reports on the situation from my mercenaries, from Tattletale and Grue, conduct meetings, control Bakuda's bomb production... I'll have to talk to her, Tattletale has confused her too much. Overall, I continue to keep my finger on the pulse, although the range of my abilities doesn't reach the main base, but I don't need that. I conduct business through the internet, correspondence, audio, camera control... so there's no need to hold a meeting after school. I'm already aware of everything. Moreover, Tattletale and I have already developed a plan to "strike back at the Empire." And yes, stupid name, but that's Lisa, who giggles over Star Wars references. So after school I'll only deal with what requires my personal presence. That's Hookwolf and Bakuda. Or first Bakuda, then Hookwolf. And in the evening Dad and I will eat apple pie and watch some old comedy.
The bell rings. The teacher breaks off mid-sentence and quickly gathers his journals under his arm, hurriedly says goodbye and shoots out the door like a bullet. The rest of the class empties just as quickly, there's practically a stampede at the door. I just shake my head. Sophia turns around and looks at me. She's in no hurry to go anywhere.
"Classes are over," I say: "So I'll leave you alone for today, hero. Sleep well."
"Never thought it would come to this," she says: "You know what just happened? People are afraid to be in the same room with you, Hebert. You're a damn monster. A monster."
"Is that so?" Sophia's attacks can't shake my composure, though somewhere deep in my chest a little needle of annoyance pricks lightly. She's still clinging to me? Still hasn't learned her lesson? What a stupid bitch you are, Sophia Hess...
"Why aren't you running away, dropping your slippers, Sophia?" I ask, raising an eyebrow: "If I'm a monster? Aren't you afraid I'll devour you? I'm two steps higher on the food pyramid, my dear."
"That's for sure." She leans back and starts rocking on her chair, dangerously hanging back and putting her feet on the desk: "You were always like that. You scared me a little."
"What nonsense is that?" I snort, packing textbooks into my backpack: "I scared you? Then you did a damn convincing job working on your fear. No one forced you to bully me. And what could have scared you, Shadow Stalker?"
"Your eyes," she answers, putting her hands behind her head and rocking on the chair: "Your eyes, Hebert. You know what Nietzsche said - if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. From the depths of your eyes, an abyss always looked at me. You were probably always stronger than me, and I tried to prove that wasn't so. But... I lost. You know, it's even like a weight has been lifted from my soul. Now I know my place for sure. I could rebel, could attack you with fists again, but... I heard you only give everyone two chances, right? How many warnings do I have?"
"One so far," I say: "Don't push it and you'll live long."
"One warning. The Administrator herself, the Fifteenth - wrote me a ticket. Others would have shit themselves on the spot." She turns her head to me and smiles: "But I'm not them, Hebert. You're a rare bitch and I still can't stand you."
"The feeling is mutual," I say dryly and stop at her desk, placing the book on the desktop: "Here. Your history textbook. Thanks."
"You can keep it," Sophia says: "As if I'd touch anything from you. You're a damn monster. And also a shameless exhibitionist who sticks her tongue down some poorly dressed girl's throat right in front of everyone."
"I'm a monster?" I grit my teeth to keep from snapping. It really was a bad idea to go to school. Hess, young chairwoman of the Suicide Club, you're asking for a second warning... why are you provoking me?! I drop my backpack, blinded by blood in my eyes and grab Sophia by the throat, lifting her from the chair: "I'm a monster?! And what are you, Sophia?! What are you?!"
She hangs in my hand like a rag doll, making no attempt to break free or resist, she just hangs and looks at me and in her eyes...
"Who am I?" she wheezes, looking me straight in the eyes: "I'm another monster, Taylor." For some time I still hold her at arm's length, feeling no weight at all, but then the obvious stupidity of the situation reaches me. I unclench my fingers, releasing her and take a step back. What's wrong with her, damn it? She stands and looks at me and in her eyes burns a dark flame.
"What's wrong with you?" I ask: "You should see a doctor, huh?"
"Are you afraid?" Sophia takes a step forward: "You're afraid of me? Come on, go ahead. Hit me, since you're so strong. Since you're the almighty Administrator with a hundred notches on your stock. Half the city is yours, in just a week. I heard you freed everyone from the ABB's underground brothels... is that whore of yours in white from there too?"
"Don't you dare talk about Lisa like that!" I swing and deliver a short slap to Sophia, still restraining myself at the last moment so as not to tear her head off. She presses her hand to her cheek.
"Lisa? Her name is Lisa, right? You're a fool, Hebert. You just fall for anything shiny. She only needs your power from you. She won't understand who you are and what you've been through. As soon as you became Administrator - people like her appeared next to you."
"Sophia!"
"You're a pervert, Hebert. A corrupted girl. A monster in soul, a killer. City girls in white won't understand us," Sophia says and takes another step forward. I restrain myself from pushing her or stepping back, that would be perceived as weakness. It's not enough to have power, you need to show readiness to use it. So I stand in place and calmly meet her gaze burning with dark rage. We're very close, there's no room for a third person between us, I look down at her... she's still smaller than me, shorter.
"How much you know about me, Sophia," I say: "The speck in another's eye..."
"And I'm a monster too," she says: "I'm also a killer. And I'm also a pervert, Hebert." Her eyes are suddenly very close and I feel warm lips touch mine. What?! Something explodes in my head. I recoil from her...
Just as I thought, – a satisfied voice sounds, and the image of the Cheshire Cat's smile dissolves into the air: – The poor thing is just fixated on you.
Don't tell me she loves me! What kind of love is that?!
Oh no, she made it all up herself. Of course, now she'll sing about how "the abyss has always gazed" at her through your eyes, but the truth is, you only make her feel that sweet ache between her legs now that you're the Administrator. Remember what she said about Lisa? People always project their own thoughts onto others. "All she wants from you is your power. She won't understand who you are or what you've been through." That's what she said.
To hell with her! I'm not going to—
Wait. If you push her away now—you'll destroy her. And you can do it. Just like that—one, two. Want me to show you?
Shut up! I don't need her! I'm not like that!
If you don't need her—then turning away now is the wisest choice. Let her slit her wrists in the bathtub. Swallow a handful of pills. Put an arrow bolt through her skull.
I don't care! – I cut off the mental dialogue with the Fifth. I raise my head. Sophia is standing a step away from me, slowly unbuttoning her shirt. She tugs it free from her skirt and lets it drop to the floor, leaving her in a black-and-red sports top. She pulls it off effortlessly, shaking out her hair as it spills over her shoulders. Her chest… under the top, it seemed smaller, but freed from the fabric, it's bigger than I thought. Two perfect spheres with small nipples on ebony-black skin, each fitting easily into my palm… I swallow. What is she thinking?! We're in school!
Scared of me, Hebert? – Sophia says, taking a step forward—and this time, I step back. I can't… I have Lisa! And this is Sophia! Images flash through my mind—too easily, I can picture what I could do to Sophia, what she could do to me.
Poor thing… – a voice echoes in my head: – She lost everything in an instant. But she still craves control, still wants to be stronger than you… in some way. You could refuse to play her game, leave her here alone, naked and rejected. But keep in mind—this took desperate courage from her, Taylor.
- You're manipulating me right now, aren't you? You just want me to spread her out on the desk for all of you to laugh at, that's all. You just want your little show, you bastards… I'm not your puppet, not some doll for you to play with!
- Oh, Taylor. Remember what Doctor Yamada said? It's always your choice. Only your choice. You can turn and walk away. You can break her arms and legs, you could even kill her. What would they do to you? She's asking for it. You could spread her out on the desk for our amusement… but don't justify your actions by blaming our manipulations. Don't lie to yourself. And do what your dad told you.
- What? Since when did my dad tell me to pin down classmates in school?! In a classroom?!
- Heart over mind… that's what your father told you, Taylor. – the Fifth says: – And neither I nor anyone else on this planet can change your heart.
- You're a damn manipulator! You're just saying this so I'll trust you!
- Stop shifting blame, Taylor Hebert! You're a grown woman, you're the Administrator! Act like it! – the Fifth's voice shifts: – You're pissing me off! You're not a child, stop acting like everyone else is at fault… pull yourself together and do what you want. What you must.
… – I swallow the lump in my throat as Sophia unzips her skirt at the side and lets it slide down like a flag slipping from its pole. Her strong, toned, athletic legs gleam like polished ebony.
- You're still afraid of me, aren't you? – A smirk curls Sophia's lips: – Deep down, you're still that scared little girl, huh, Hebert?
I look her over one more time. We're standing in an empty classroom, and no one's coming in. The whole school already knows who I am—coming here was a bad idea. The empty room, bathed in sunlight, and Sophia Hess standing in front of me wearing nothing but white sports underwear, a stark contrast against her dark chocolate skin. Plenty of people would give their right arm for this sight. Her body… too muscular, nothing like Lisa's, built like an athlete, radiating strength and vitality… and in her eyes burns that same dark flame I mistook for rage. But it's not rage. It's resolve. She's going all in.
- Think you can dare me? – I say, stepping forward: – You have no idea who you're dealing with, girl.
I won't back down. – she answers, biting her lip, staring straight into my eyes.
Then… – I grab her by the throat and lift her slightly, just enough to make her gasp, her toes barely brushing the floor. I drag her face close to mine and force my tongue past her tightly pressed lips. I'm in charge here, Sophia. And you—know your place…