"So the beast would have gone mad after losing someone he loves."
"What?"
Javrian's voice rumbled through his massive wolf form, vibrating up from his chest as he sprinted through the winding architecture of the territory.
His enormous paws pounded against the cobblestone streets, each leap propelling us forward at a dizzying pace that sent citizens scattering in fear, their gasps and shouts blending into the wind.
I clung to his soft, silver-black fur, my crimson hair whipping wildly like flames in the breeze while I perched securely on his broad back.
"Nothing," I replied, my voice steady despite the rush.
But that wasn't entirely true, as I needed to tell him what was going on inside my mind, as he might be of some help.
"No, I was just thinking about what I would do if I were in Xen's place."
I let the words hang, piecing together the puzzle in my mind.
If I were him—desperate to save myself from a beast like Javrian, armed with enormous resources and an intelligence network spanning the empire—what would I prepare?
Putting myself in his shoes, it was obvious: He'd have heard the rumors from the city walls, the tales of Javrian rampaging like a mad animal, taking hit after hit without falling.
To someone like Xen, feared for Javrian's legendary strength, it wouldn't point to poison—that would have killed him outright or turned him into an unstoppable killer.
No, madness from emotional breakage made more sense.
He'd conclude that Javrian had lost someone he loved, shattering his iron will.
'It seems like the most plausible conclusion.' Even though I tried to think more deeply, for someone like Javrian to be injured by the soldiers and to break the city wall with his bare hands was clearly a testament to him either going insane or at least being very angry.
However, he was still sane enough not to hurt the townspeople or innocent people, clearly showing that he was just taking out his frustration.
Given that there have been no recent painful events, it was evident that Xen would conclude that Javrian had lost someone close to him.
We moved swiftly, weaving through the outskirts now, the voices of the people rising like a chorus.
"Mom, wasn't that the lady on the wolf? Her red hair was the same as our Lady!" a child called out, pointing excitedly.
I kept my face buried in Javrian's fur to shield myself from the gusting wind, feeling its warmth cut through the cold breeze like a comforting embrace.
"Shouldn't you be covering yourself? People are noticing you," Javrian said, his tone laced with concern.
He could hear the bystanders' murmurs too, even as he distanced us with his speed—whispers of recognition that might spread like wildfire.
"Why does it matter?" I shot back, lifting my head just enough to speak.
"It's not like I want to hide anything from anyone. It's better—the more they know, the more they become accustomed to it."
"No, that's not it," he growled softly before, in a caring tone, he uttered, "I meant, what if they doubt you?"
Before he could elaborate, I caught the underlying worry—he was fretting over my image, how this wild ride might tarnish it.
But with me hugging him so tightly, seated and lying against his powerful form, within which this warm heart was still concerned about my reputation, I felt helpless as I couldn't resist teasing.
"Don't tell me, do you have some kink where you want me to act like some secret lover of yours? That's why you don't want to reveal me?"
My voice was playful yet firm, and it silenced him for a beat, the only sound his rhythmic breathing and the thud of his paws.
We burst into the forest with a huge leap, branches whipping past as he soared, landing with a gust that rustled leaves and sent small animals fleeing.
"You know... If it was my younger self, he might have really trapped you," Javrian admitted as he sprinted on toward the border town, his voice a low rumble. As he recalled how much he had changed from his past self, it was clear he understood how precious it is to love someone.
To him, love was simply possession, an obsession where one desired to tie down the person they loved.
But after meeting her, he felt that love didn't just mean being with the person one loves always. Those three months of separation taught him how the feelings he had for her were strange and strong enough to keep him from ever hurting her.
Even if it meant just loving her from afar, caring about her and being happy in her happiness.
'His heart is racing,' maybe due to sprinting or because of some wild thought he was having. I could hear his heart racing.
I smiled against his fur, intrigued despite having already planned our next moves.
I just wanted to hear him say it.
"What would your younger self have done if I were to meet you?"
"You would have never fallen for that person," he replied without hesitation.
"No one would have."
As his words sank in, I just smiled wider because he was right.
In one way or another, I knew even I wouldn't have fallen for him back then—for a naive woman with a tendency to sacrifice too much for others and numbness, following whatever path she had—how would she even fall for... such a man?
Our past versions wouldn't have been capable of loving this much.
The timing of when we met, when we fell, was perfect.
Suddenly, something clicked in my mind as I hugged him tighter, my eyes shooting open in realization.
'What if...?'
The thought twisted into a smirk as I recalled Xen from my future memories—a man who'd never married, amassing a huge fortune through his ambitious intelligence network that expanded like wildfire across the empire.
And Astoria?
Due to her unwavering honesty, she'd been shuffled off to backwater zones ruled by non-corrupt nobles, isolated from the outside world forever.
She never remarried either. Now, with clarity, I know it was due to her clinging to the memories of her late husband like a lifeline.
So the idea bloomed while I held the beast beneath me, his muscles rippling with each powerful stride, roaring with a force that scattered trees and sent leaves swirling.
What if I tied Xen and Astoria together?
Used their potential love to secure two powerful allies who could benefit us immensely?
But the real issue was, it would be difficult—impossible, even.
Xen was too ambitious to ever truly love someone, and Astoria was bound by grief to her husband's ghost.
Logically, it shouldn't work.
Yet, lying there, feeling the warmth and the unyielding strength of the wolf I rode—the beast I'd fallen for despite every impossibility—I felt a spark of hope.
If Javrian and I could be together, a duo that defied all logic—a savage beast and a woman once numb to the world—then why not them?
It prompted a soft chuckle from me, bubbling up unbidden.
Javrian's muscles twitched beneath me, sensing the shift.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his pace faltering slightly as if he thought the speed was making me uncomfortable, ready to slow down.
I just rubbed my face against his firm skin, inhaling his familiar scent.
"Let's do a good deed, dear husband. Do you want to become a matchmaker?"
"What?"