The forest clearing came into view through Javrian's blood-hazed vision like a scene from someone else's nightmare.
His mangled left hand throbbed with each heartbeat, arrows still protruding from his torso like grotesque ornaments, but the physical pain was nothing—absolutely nothing—compared to what he saw waiting for him.
Luna stood there, tears streaming down her face in silver tracks that caught the dappled sunlight filtering through the canopy above.
'She's still crying.'
The realization hit him with more force than any weapon ever had.
Those tears—tears that hadn't been there when he'd first found her, hollow and empty in that blood-soaked bedroom.
Tears that existed now because of him. Because of what he'd done to her.
'Because I touched her. Because I'm exactly what she said I am.'
Something inside Javrian's chest collapsed entirely, like the final support beam of a structure that had been crumbling for too long.
The small flame of hope he'd been nurturing—the foolish belief that maybe, somehow, he could be worthy of someone like her—died with a finality that left only cold ash in its wake.
His silver eye swept the clearing, taking in the pack members' confused faces, Sally's grateful tears, the way everyone seemed to be waiting for him to explain the blood, the wounds, the devastation written across his features.
But his mind kept returning to Luna's face. To those crimson eyes bright with pain he had caused.
'What did she say at the river?'
Through the fog of self-loathing, a memory surfaced. Luna's voice, strained and desperate: "Javrian! Lila is there! She's watching us!"
She had tried to tell him. Had tried to make him see what his selfishness was doing to someone else.
But he'd been too consumed with his own desires, too focused on claiming what he wanted, to listen.
'If I give Lila what she wanted at that time, maybe Luna will stop crying.'
The thought settled over him as he felt nothing.
He was becoming numb to everything... the flicker he thought had vanished completely.
Just a mind that knew what it did.
It wouldn't undo the damage he'd caused, wouldn't heal the wounds he'd inflicted, but it might—might—ease some of Luna's pain.
And if there was even the smallest chance of that, he would take it.
Javrian straightened, ignoring the way fresh blood began seeping through his hastily healed wounds.
His voice, when it emerged, was flat and emotionless—the tone of a man who had died inside and was simply going through the motions of living.
"Lila."
The silver-haired woman's head snapped up, pale eyes wide with confusion and lingering grief.
She looked between him and Luna with the expression of someone who couldn't quite process what was happening.
"Become my mate," he said, the words falling from his lips like stones dropped into still water. "I want you to marry me."
'Please let this stop her tears. I promise to never let tears come in those again due to... I will leave her alone and never return.'
Even as he spoke, his peripheral vision caught the moment Luna's tears ceased. Her crimson eyes widened in shock, lips parting as if to speak, but no sound emerged.
For just an instant—one blessed, terrible instant—Javrian felt something that might have been relief.
The sight of her tears stopping, of that raw anguish fading from her expression, was worth every lie he was about to live.
'Good. That's good. She's not crying anymore. I just have to stop loving her... if I don't care, I will not hurt her.'
But he couldn't let himself look at her directly.
Couldn't risk seeing whatever emotion might be replacing those tears, because if it was anything other than relief, he might shatter completely.
Instead, he focused on practical matters. On the arrangements that would ensure Luna's safety and happiness once he was gone.
"Sally."
The black-and-white-haired woman stepped forward immediately, her yellow eyes still bright with gratitude from their earlier reconciliation. "Yes, Javrian?"
"Accompany Luna back to her territory and serve her as her assistant." The words came out steady, measured, though each one felt like swallowing broken glass. "She belongs with nobility, not in these broken lands with..."
'With monsters like me.'
He couldn't say it aloud. Couldn't voice the truth that was eating him alive from the inside out. Instead, he let the sentence trail off, trusting that Sally would understand.
Finally—finally—he allowed himself to look directly at Luna.
Those crimson eyes that had once looked at him with something that might have been affection now held only shock and confusion. Good. That was better than tears. Better than the pain he'd caused.
Meeting her gaze with every ounce of resolve he possessed, Javrian delivered his final judgment:
"Leave."
"Huh?" Luna stood there looking at his eyes before he turned, and as he did, she felt her own identity slowly vanishing, the 'I' she thought she had received from him.
I—she—returned to being a withered Luna.
I—she—deserved that place.
Indeed, I (she) should have never received this gentleness to begin with.
And slowly, as if even her heart that had been opened momentarily and poured out all of the buried emotions closed, it again shut down.
Her tears vanished, eyes that seemed to have become like mirrors became once again hollow.
The numbness returned as she stood there, uncaring of the words and the shock of the pack members trying to talk this out, explain things.
Just her looking towards the man who was in front of her yet seemed to have been completely separated, just like a stranger.
'You don't need to speak...' Luna told herself, as slowly it made all sense. Indeed, whenever she tried to open her heart, she got hurt. It was clear that whenever she let her emotions take over her, she would feel pain. Just like what happened today. What happened here has not just destroyed her own remaining flame, but also his.
And the silence echoed much louder than the voice as she just turned into a calm, composed, uncaring Luna—The one who stood tall, always in life, got halted and became numb, handled the territory, and everything returned back. Her eyes sharp before she ordered, "Sally, follow me."
Luna moved while considering this moment of her life as the tree indicated she had reached while walking through her life's journey. Once again, she had to walk alone.
She simply moved, and all the emotions were once again buried as she learned her lesson that she should live without loving or getting attached. "Don't ever show me your face again, Javrian Apheunix."
"L-Luna, Javrian, what happened to her—" Sally was confused, just like everyone else, looking toward them, trying to understand exactly what had happened. But what she received was just a firm glare from Javrian, causing her to flinch. Something had changed in him; he was not what she had ever seen before—just the cold glare made her flinch and retreat a step as she swiftly nodded and sprinted toward Luna.
'I guess... it's better this way.' Javrian stood calmly, eyes composed, then turned and began to move. Naturally, other pack members followed behind, confused.
For Lila, she didn't have the courage to touch him.
Even though he had spoken of marriage, she could sense something in him that made her feel small. Just like the other members, who didn't ask questions, they simply followed behind.
'I will make sure no harm befalls you, Luna... not even my own.'