" To be, where everything begins... I'd rather have a - love without suffering. "
The wind rattled the windows of Lara's chamber, a harsh sound to most, but to her, it was oddly soothing — the melody of solitude. In this quiet,in this hollowed space, she found a kind of peace as she looked out at the Aizdihar Kingdom — a place once called home.
She called it home, but deep down she knew — women like her had no home. Only borrowed rooms in lives that never truly belonged to them.
A place that belongs to them. For when they are born - they are born in their mothers home and when they marry, they are living in their husband's home.
What about their own?
Despite being the first and only princess of the kingdom, Lara is set to be sold off to a neighboring empire for the greater benefit of her kingdom's nobles.
Her life had always been a transaction waiting to be sealed — kept alive not for who she was, but for what she could be sold for.
She once loved her Kingdom and its people, but after they killed her parents, the former king and queen, they became the people she loathes the most.
She admired how the symbol of the empire was and is "prosperity."
Prosperity,
The reason she chose to struggle for her kingdom years ago.
Prosperity, yet it's full of corruption and greed, run by aristocrats and nobility.
How lame...
Since the age of eight, the castle had been her cage — vast and cold, echoing with memories no one dared speak of.
She survived the life battle that happened fifteen years ago only because she was a girl who could be of use later, not because she couldn't rebel against the ruthless king who killed millions of innocent people.
And that... He was also chosen by the people when they overthrew the last monarch.
People often wonder what Lara could even do to change things and laugh as they share toasts in balls and banquets, but she knows the answer to this question, and she has no desire to share it.
She once did, and she alone suffered the consequences.
Why would she help some bunch of people who have accepted slavery like a second life without ever rebelling?
When the poor eat in poverty and the rich become richer, what can you even do?
Lara believes in the natural law that says
"Like people like rulers."
Furthermore, she experienced firsthand what happens when you try to help someone who doesn't need it, and she was sold earlier than expected because of it.
At twenty-three, Lara was to be handed over to a thirty-three-year-old emperor — a man known more for his power than for his pulse, of the most magnificent empire, known for being the greatest dictator, and yet the empire is known for its democracy.
How? This is the question that everyone asks after hearing my statement. But it is no mystery.
No one knows how that works, but once the emperor says something, you are no one to disobey or reject.
Then where is democracy?
The rule of the people?
Well...that exists among the people not the nobles or royals.
I guess it can be explained later.
And about the personal life of the emperor, which is political as well.
He already has two wives and more than eleven concubines from different kingdoms, nobilities and empires.
The women from empires were accepted as wives, and women from kingdoms or from prominent noble families were accepted as concubines.
That too is not managed by the emperor but rather the secretary of the Palace.
Though he has never bed a woman, it's astonishing still how many people sent their daughters to wither away just for political gain.
Lara, who had lost everything, only had one desire left: to have a family with a man who truly loved her.
A peaceful life with lots of children and a caring husband.
Their happy family existing and living peacefully in the outskirts somewhere.
But that desire has been taken away from her, and she knew it would happen.
She very well knew it would happen, but still kept dreaming... She wanted to hold on to that dream for as long as she could.
There was no escape to begin with.
She only accepted (not like she could decline) the proposal and felt happy because of one fact: her childhood friend Nina migrated to that empire because her father was given the title of Viscount there under the rule of that emperor eight years ago.
Lara felt happy because Nina had a comfort zone and a warm shoulder there.
She ignored all the negative and empty feelings just because of her trust issues and care for her friend.
Her farewell was sudden but Lara had known she couldn't have done anything even if she had some more time.
The door of her room opened with a creaking sound as a maid stepped in.
"The carriage is waiting, Your Highness,"
The maid informed her and waited for her.
Lara looked at her, and she nodded.
Lara gazed one last time at the familiar scenery and then closed her eyes and took a long breath as she walked out of that room.
The long and dark hallways were empty, gloomy and like usual unclean.
The maids had already left her place some months ago looking for jobs somewhere else as they knew they would be kicked out.
Only the maids and the spies sent by the Queen remained.
As she entered the carriage without bidding farewell to anyone, she only felt more comfortable thinking of meeting Nina once again. To talk with her and be with her.
Once again...
The sun had already set and the wind had become much more colder than before. It will not be a shock if her doesn't reach her destination.
But she would arrive. Death wasn't so generous — not to women like her.
The long journey left her exhausted, and she felt pathetic as she looked at the passing trees of her empire.
Her heart released waves of pain with every beat that it produced.
The ache pulsed down her arms like phantom chains — numbing her to every other feeling but sorrow.
She had everything planned out, but all she needed was a soul, a single soul that would have appreciated her for saving him/her, a single soul that was against this tyranny and slavery... If only a soul had appealed to her telling her that they were not a part of rebellion happened that day or in the least they were wrong and they apologize and that they need her help.
But such a soul never appeared in front of her.
No one saw anything except for her gender.
Only backstabbing people ever held her hands, and the time came when she entered another territory.
A new empire, a new land, leaving hers for the rest of her life.
Now, what happens here will have nothing to do with her, or so she thought that the very moment she entered the Difin Empire.
She didn't know what the future had planned for her in that land she just left behind, as she was inconsiderate of even thinking about returning.
Even the thought of it made her sick to her stomach.
It was already mid-day when she arrived.
After the long and tiring journey, she stepped out of the carriage only to be met with a single maid, again in a far isolated building of the imperial palace, without an escort to welcome her.
This was probably planned by the two empresses and concubines probably, and it was most likely their way of showing how much they didn't need her presence here.
Or it could be because of the lack of interest shown by the emperor when asked about another nobody entering his palace.
But for Lara, this is something that she does not need to care about.
A maid led her through unfamiliar halls to a chamber not her own. There, a priest muttered blessings over signatures she never got to witness being written. A ceremony without a groom — a marriage sealed in ink and silence.
A ceremony of her marriage ( without the emperor ), only the priest had come with a paper that was already signed by the emperor, had dinner and after dinner, she prepared for her wedding night, her first night as the emperor's wife.
How pathetic and pitiful... Even when they know, he never visits a lady's chamber.
But than again, the marriage papers shocked her... Something she never expected.
It made her curious for she had heard that the woman who entered his palace were given position merely by their backgrounds...it was not like they were given position because of marriage.
That aside,
She only saw him once, when he visited the Aizdihar Kingdom for negotiations eight years ago.
The negotiation went on for three years; within those three years, Lara tried to take her kingdom back and failed miserably... For in that kingdom she was always alone.
In the end, today...their marriage papers were signed, and she has become his wife.
More like she was sold off the moment she became a threat to the current king.
Even after signing the treaty papers, the emperor didn't call for her for the next five years, and she became the fourth empress and the twelfth concubine after being the first empress and the first concubine. Back then there was no concept of concubines or empresses though so, she was the only and the first wife.
Why she was chosen as "wife" instead of a "concubine and mistress" is still a mystery to her, for if she is his wife, she cannot be his concubine it has become so intriguing and stupid...but for Lara, it is simply a thing that perhaps was decided before he planned who to call the wife and who to call the concubine.
Lara... Nonetheless had hoped for a loving marriage even if it was forced... She had hoped for at least some harmony and such stuff, back than she was still young. The first blow that ever broke her to heart after her parents death, was the announcement of the first empress... And then the rest came easily and there was no shock.
Lara couldn't feel a single bit of excitement about meeting him then or about meeting him even now. Not like she will - for all of the women who have entered the Palace has never met once with the Emperor.
When all the preparations were complete, her maid left without uttering a single word.
And as soon as she did, Lara covered herself with a long white overcoat that she had brought with her in her small luggage for the lingerie though liked by her was not suitable for the weather.
Lara examined her chambers with a glass of wine in her hand, slowly and observingly, every nook and cranny.
It had been a long time since she had felt this relaxed.
Back in the castle she would have tons of tons of work to do but here... She has nothing to do except of waiting for a man.
"How convenient"
She thought as she smiled while looking at the terrace.
Lara had drank quite a lot standing on her balcony as she simply enjoyed the cold wind and the flavor of the drink in her hand.
Her body had warmed up quite a bit and she had removed her coat, leaving nothing but lacy lingerie on her naked body.
"I wonder when they'll wake me," she mused, amused at the idea that time might finally be hers.
She muttered as she remembered she no longer has to wake up before dawn.
Soon, when the clock hit 1 and the night became much dark, Lara thought of stopping and going to sleep.
She re-entered her chambers from the balcony and before going to bed looked back once more, at the beautiful sky of the night.
The door creaked open behind her, and she didn't need to turn. Only one man would dare enter a bride's chamber on her wedding night — and not with desire, but detachment.
No one would dare enter the chambers of a bride on her marriage night.
The Emperor stood behind her and the door were closed. Lara didn't look back as she was facing the other side of the room.
"Go to sleep.
For I have no interest in you as a woman, nor I will I ever have.
It will be the best for you"
He informed her before he lay down and closed his eyes.
Lara smiled faintly, recalling the whispered mockery of her maids back at the castle—
"A curse,"
they had called her marriage.
Perhaps they were right.
Perhaps a cursed bride was exactly what this empire deserved.