Chapter 11(206): I'm Not Powerless
Hikigaya clearly understood his situation.
Precisely because everything originated from the curse, he had spent every waking moment trying to identify the curse user.
Before that, however, he also had to pay attention to relationships within the mansion. Someone as perceptive as Hikigaya could feel even the slightest change in how others treated him.
Upon entering this second loop, he clearly sensed the difference in Rem.
But that was as far as it went.
If Hikigaya were a sister-complex, then Rem was unquestionably a hardcore sister-complex herself. Though she never said it aloud, the Witch's scent clinging to him after his return clearly unsettled her.
If he approached her sister now, it would only deepen her resentment.
So instead of consulting Ram, he chose to face Rem directly.
As he took another sip of tea, Hikigaya felt strangely at ease.
"As expected… no matter how many times I taste it, Rem's technique feels incredible."
Rem didn't brighten at the praise. Instead, she replied coolly: "There's no need for flattery. In truth, this is only the first time you've ever tasted tea brewed by Rem."
Hikigaya smiled faintly: "In truth, I understand you better than you think."
Rem frowned slightly: "You're so full of yourself."
Hikigaya: "Maybe I am really the kind of person I hate."
Rem let out a soft chuckle. Hikigaya returned a gentle smile. The cold atmosphere finally began to warm.
"May I ask, Hikigaya-kun… why did you choose to sacrifice your life to save Emilia-sama back then?"
Hikigaya froze briefly, then answered: "Some people enter your life like gifts. Sometimes all it takes is a glance, an unspoken understanding, for you to realize that life itself is just the simplest consumable."
Rem: "That's too profound. I don't understand it at all."
Hikigaya thought for a moment, then put it more simply: "Because you know that, in the same situation, she would throw her life away to save you too. So there's no need for a reason."
Rem took a quiet sip of tea: "I see… By that logic, Hikigaya-kun is a very kind person."
Hikigaya: "No… I'm just someone who compensates others afterward. If anything, Rem is the truly kind one. After all… it takes a lot of courage to gently hold the hand of a complete stranger having a nightmare."
When Hikigaya said that, Rem's face visibly flushed red.
"Hikigaya-kun… if, in the end, you discover that I'm not as gentle a… person as you imagine, what would you do?"
"No matter what your true self is like, it doesn't matter. Because you are you. Even if you weren't human, it would still be fine. Right, Rem?"
"No matter the circumstances, you must believe in yourself. Even if this world beats you until you're broken beyond recognition, never lose your true heart. That's the one thing we both have to hold onto."
Listening to Hikigaya's words, Rem immediately avoided his gaze. Yet as she left, she found herself unable to forget what he had said.
…
Hikigaya had to make use of this loop, continuing to learn the written language of this world and to locate the existence of the curse user.
If he did nothing, he would only end up waiting for death again.
Even if he managed to resolve the current incident, it still wouldn't prepare him for what lay ahead.
Knowing this, he couldn't afford to stagnate.
To survive in this world, relying solely on everything from his past life was no longer enough. Whether magic or swordsmanship, he needed to master at least one of them.
At that moment, he remembered something Kito had once said back at Advanced Nurturing High School, that his physical ability wasn't as weak as it looked.
If that was the case…
Becoming a swordsman like Reinhard might also allow him to survive in this world.
But for that, he needed a teacher.
As he stepped out of the mansion, he happened to run into Emilia and Puck, who were looking for him.
Emilia wore her usual gentle smile: "Hikigaya-kun, how are you feeling? Are you getting used to living here?"
Hikigaya nodded: "Yeah. It's been great. I should thank you again for providing me with a place to stay."
Emilia hurriedly waved her hands: "No, no, no! If anything, I should be the one thanking you. You saved me even though I was a complete stranger, there's no way I could ever repay that."
Puck floated over and sat on Hikigaya's shoulder, crossing his arms with exaggerated elegance:"That's right, that's right. No need to be so formal~. Honestly, if Hikigaya asks for anything, Lia would probably agree, wouldn't you?"
As he said this, Puck deliberately turned his gaze toward Emilia. Hikigaya followed his line of sight.
Whether because of being stared at or for some other reason, Emilia's neck visibly reddened, the color spreading to her cheeks. In the end, she lowered her head shyly:"If it's within my ability…"
Hikigaya let out a quiet breath. He hadn't saved her expecting any reward, but right now, he truly needed this opportunity.
So…
"In that case, I really do have a request for you, Emilia, and for you too, Puck."
"Oh?"
"Please teach me magic. I don't ever want to experience that kind of helplessness again."
While his past physical condition might help him learn swordsmanship, the level of swordplay in this world was practically from another dimension. After witnessing Reinhard's slash, Hikigaya was certain of that.
It wasn't enough to make him give up on arming himself, but in a world this dangerous, magic might be the fastest path forward.
As for teaching magic, Puck didn't refuse. Instead, he circled Hikigaya, examining his body.
"So? Puck…"
"Uh… can't really tell much."
"Then what exactly was the point of you circling me?"
"To look like a master in front of an amateur."
Puck even struck an adorable pose. At that moment, Hikigaya really wanted to throw him as far as possible.
"Anyway, let's check your affinity first. In magic, there are four elemental attributes: wind, water, fire, and earth."
As he spoke, Puck placed a hand on Hikigaya's head. White ripples spread outward.
This was the moment that would decide his path. Hikigaya found himself inexplicably nervous.
"Alright, yup. Hikigaya's main attribute is Yin. Dark and gloomy, just like your dead-fish eyes."
'That comparison was completely unnecessary.'
"So what exactly is the Yin attribute?"
Emilia walked over and explained gently.
"Yin magic is generally used to obscure vision, block sound, and slow down opponents' movements. Overall, it actually suits someone smart like Hikigaya-kun quite well."
'That really feels like you're trying to comfort me. Honestly, I'd rather be like Reinhard and just one-shot everything, no thinking required.'
"Ah, wait, wait, there's also just a tiny bit of wind attribute in you."
'Was that blown out of me by Beatrice…?'
"It's so little it's basically nothing, but it's more than enough for suicide!"
"Who the hell would use it to kill themselves?!"
In any case, after a whole morning of effort, Hikigaya finally managed, though still clumsily, to grasp two spells: Veil and Wind Blade.
Wind Blade's power really was only good for suicide, but Hikigaya knew… someday, he might truly need this skill.
After that, time passed much like before. Everything seemed peaceful, at least within the mansion.
Now that he understood curses were irreversible once activated, Hikigaya knew that as long as he appeared earlier and disrupted the enemy's original plan, things would go much more smoothly.
During this time, the biggest differences were that he constantly practiced magic, paid close attention to Rem, and continued learning this world's written language from Ram.
---
Day Four, Kitchen.
"Rem, it looks like we're almost out of soy sauce."
Ram replied flatly, "That's because Hachiman eats everything too salty. Otherwise, it would've lasted another day or two."
Hikigaya nodded solemnly:"I'm truly sorry, Ram. Since you put it that way, I feel I should take responsibility. I'll go buy more soy sauce."
Rem shook her head.:"Even so, letting you go alone isn't reassuring. I'll go with you, you don't even know the roads."
"Even if you refuse, I'll drag you along."
"Then I'll handle the mansion's chores." Ram said.
"..."
---
[Crusch: "His growth rate is terrifying. He's only died twice, yet with that frightening insight, he's already reached this point. I can't even imagine how far he'll go."]
[Felix: "Yeah. He's way too smart. He's just an ordinary person, being able to live safely in this world is already incredible. If he makes even one mistake, he's probably dead."]
[Wilhelm: "His way of handling things can only be described in one word: perfect. And that gaze of his… that's not the presence of an ordinary man. He's experienced deaths no normal person could endure, making an already logical monster even more terrifying."]
[Anastasia: "Becoming enemies with someone like that sounds troublesome."]
[Priscilla: "Oh? Isn't this delightful? Entertain me more. I want to see just how far Emilia can go with you by her side."]
[Emilia: "I just hope everything goes smoothly for him…"]
[Puck: "Relax~. With Hikigaya's brainpower, it'll be fine!"]
[Hachiman: "You're really heartless, Puck."]
[Beatrice: "Saying that about Brother is too much! If anything happens to you, just go die! Betty absolutely won't save you!"]
[Kirito: "Looks like everyone's pretty excited."]
[Houtarou Oreki: "Even though this has completely strayed from efficiency and energy conservation, it can't be helped."]
[Shirogane Miyuki: "The reason people are looking forward to this is simple. Making it through this world as a mere human is no easy feat."]
[Uesugi Futaro: "That's true…"]
---
After discussing it with Ram and Rem, the two set out quickly. This time, Hikigaya intended to learn from his previous experience and minimize contact with others.
As long as he could return to the mansion and find Beatrice before the curse activated, the culprit would naturally reveal themselves.
Much like last time, after buying daily necessities, Hikigaya and Rem went to the village to visit the villagers. Because he'd been bitten by a dog last time, he was extremely cautious, keeping a very safe distance from the cute puppies.
He would never make some mistakes twice.
Unfortunately… some losses were destined to be repeated.
That same puppy suddenly leapt out of the children's arms and charged straight at Hikigaya.
"Whoa, there's a dog!"
"Slash!"
If Rem hadn't rushed in and taken the bite for him, Hikigaya really would have suffered at the hands of the same dog twice.
But that hardly counted as success.
After all, letting Rem get bitten was the worst outcome imaginable.
Seeing her exposed skin and the blood pouring out, Hikigaya immediately took out bandages to treat her wound.
Rem smiled faintly:"If Hikigaya-kun had been bitten, it would've been even more troublesome."
"Idiot. It's the same no matter who gets bitten."
Though it was a minor incident, something felt off to Hikigaya.
Even for an animal without reasoning, the intent behind that charge had been far too clear.
Still, he didn't dwell on the dog, instead turning his attention back to the villagers.
Since curses could only be spread intentionally, all he needed to do was remember who touched him, and how, and watch for anyone who deliberately tried to make contact.
For someone with Hikigaya's already terrifying powers of observation, this should have been easy.
And yet…
An entire afternoon passed without him noticing anything strange. None of the villagers' eyes held even the slightest hint of malice.
'Was I wrong? Did I misunderstand everything from the start…?'
Now wasn't the time to doubt himself. Perhaps the culprit was hiding with magic. If answers couldn't be found here, he'd need to return and consult Beatrice.
But as he was leaving, his gaze lingered on the puppy that had bitten him in the previous loop.
'…Am I imagining things?'
…
Back at the mansion, Rem returned to the kitchen as usual to clean up Ram's mess. Hikigaya, meanwhile, wasted no time and went straight to find Beatrice. Thankfully, it didn't take long.
"So, what trouble do you want with Betty this time, I suppose?"
"I want you to check whether a curse has been placed on my body."
Beatrice frowned, jumped down from her chair, and slowly approached him.
"Don't move."
Her unexpected seriousness made Hikigaya pause. He knew she was all sharp tongue and soft heart, but when his life was truly at risk, she became completely different.
As her hand touched him, he felt a warm current flow through his body… and then vanish.
Beatrice let out a small sigh of relief before immediately scowling: "If you mess with me again, just get out on your own."
"So… that means I wasn't cursed?"
Though he'd anticipated this result, it still surprised him.
'The timeline could've changed, but… no. Everyone who touched me last loop touched me again this time. If curses can only be spread intentionally, wait…'
Grabbing onto something crucial, Hikigaya suddenly seized Beatrice's hand.
"Hey! What are you doing?!"
"S-sorry, I got carried away. Beatrice, are curses really only spread by people?"
She yanked her hand back, crossing her arms irritably: "Of course. Though… mabeasts can do it too."
"Mabeasts… Can they disguise themselves as animals? Like… dogs?"
"Uh… yeah, that's possible. With special incantations."
Everything fell into place.
Perhaps his original assumption had been wrong from the very beginning.
And if his deduction was correct…
That meant Rem was cursed.
Without hesitation, Hikigaya rushed out. He had to get Rem into the Forbidden Library immediately. If he was too late, the previous tragedy would simply repeat itself.
As he sprinted through the corridor, he suddenly felt a sharp chill.
"Whoosh!"
'Wind magic…'
'If I hadn't dodged just now, that would've pierced my heart.'
'Who was it?!'
If he'd been even a moment slower, all that would've remained here… would be a corpse.
Hikigaya's heart began pounding violently. Even someone who could usually stay calm like him couldn't help but feel nervous when death was racing right alongside him.
There was only one belief, hammering relentlessly at his heart.
'I can't die! At the very least, I can't die for nothing!'
'I have to figure out who this person really is! I have to uncover their identity!'
Once again, blade-like wind magic came slicing in from deep within the corridor. If not for sheer luck, Hikigaya's body would have been cut clean in half.
'I can't just sit here and wait to die!'
Though his legs felt as if they were being dragged down by concrete, Hikigaya still forced himself to take that first step.
At this speed, he was nothing more than a lamb waiting for slaughter, but if he could control his magic…
Without hesitation, despite his poor mastery, he channeled wind magic beneath his feet to boost his speed.
Even Puck had said this amount of wind magic was only good for suicide, but if used properly, it could protect him in special situations.
However…
"Do you really think you can escape?"
"…Ram!"
Hikigaya felt as if his heart leapt out of his chest. His steps came to an abrupt halt, and so did his nerves.
"Why…"
"Why, you ask? That's my line! Why are you getting close to Rem?! What exactly are you after?! If Rem weren't so kind, she would've killed you long ago! You must've used some sweet words to deceive her, didn't you?!"
Hikigaya had never seen Ram like this before. This was nothing like the Ram who teasingly called him "Hachiman." Right now, she looked like a… demon.
Explain himself? But was there really time for that now?
As expected, with the Witch's scent clinging to him, it was impossible to escape their suspicion. If he approached Rem, Ram would hunt him down, and if he didn't, the result would be the same.
'Should I admire how close these sisters are… or curse my own bad luck?'
'Still, if I let things continue like this, even if she doesn't kill me out of gratitude, once the curse activates, I'll become the most suspicious person in the mansion anyway. So… There's only one answer.'
Facing Ram's pressure, Hikigaya casually put one hand on his hip and flashed a triumphant smile.
"Ram, so you figured me out, huh? Since you want to kill me, let's see if you're capable of it. I'll tell you this, my goal is to kill Emilia."
"What?!"
"Veil!"
Boom!
Black smoke surged out like a tidal wave, instantly engulfing the entire corridor.
With her vision, hearing, and sense of smell blocked, Ram couldn't pinpoint Hikigaya's location. All she could do was rush toward Emilia.
From Hikigaya's final words, his target was the sleeping Emilia. Ram was confident that Emilia, protected by Puck, wouldn't be harmed, but if neither of them was on guard…!
At that moment, Ram completely forgot that Hikigaya was the one who had saved Emilia in the first place, someone who would never do such a thing. Even so, she had fallen for his diversion.
While Ram rushed in one direction, Hikigaya dragged his utterly exhausted body toward the kitchen as fast as he could.
Before Ram realized the truth, he had to bring Rem to Beatrice. Otherwise… death was his only end.
---
[Sudo: "Hahahaha! That's my bro for you. He always has a backup plan. I seriously respect him."]
[Yukimura: "He just throws us straight into a life-or-death chase… and he doesn't even look scared. Honestly…"]
[Miyake Akito: "Sometimes the gap between people really is that big. I don't think he even qualifies as human anymore. With that terrifying insight, he's practically on the path to becoming a superhuman."]
[Ike Kanji: "I hate to admit it, but if he's a normal guy, then I'm not human. Even with Return by Death, without that courage and rationality, you'd probably die dozens of times."]
[Hirata Yosuke: "What's scariest is that everything is still under his control."]
[Wilhelm: "I must admit, he's far more terrifying than I imagined. I thought this development was already unbelievable, but he had foreseen it long ago."]
[Crusch: "I sincerely hope the me in that video doesn't become his enemy. That would end badly."]
[Felix: "If even you say that, then this guy really is absurd."]
[Ram: "I'm seriously annoyed. It feels like Ram got completely played."]
[Hikigaya: "Hey, don't be so unreasonable. You were the one trying to kill me."]
[Rem: "Still… knowing that my sister would do something like this for me makes Rem very moved."]
[Hikigaya: "Moved enough to kill me?! What the hell!"]
[Emilia: "This is my fault. If I'd noticed Ram and Rem's suspicions earlier, none of this would've happened."]
[Roswaal: "How fascinating. I'm quite curious, just how far can you see, Hikigaya?"]
[Yukinoshita Yukino clasped her hands together, as if praying.: "Hikigaya-kun… please succeed."]
---
It had to be said, using magic recklessly before fully controlling it was far from rational.
Hikigaya hadn't expected the mana drain to be this severe, even worse than in the morning.
Each step felt unbearably heavy, as if he would collapse at any moment. But he couldn't stop now.
"Hachiman-kun?"
"…Re…m."
Just as Hikigaya was about to collapse from exhaustion, Rem's appearance became the strength that held him up.
"Go… go find… Beatrice."
"You've been cursed…"
Hearing his words, Rem froze. Looking at the barely conscious Hikigaya, her heart inexplicably felt like it was melting. Instead of worrying about her own safety, she found herself more concerned about who had done this to him.
"Hachiman-kun… who did this to you?!"
(End of this chapter)