The gravel crunches under Ruby's tires as I pull into the community college lot, an hour from home. My stomach's a knot. This isn't high school. Not even close.
My school split last year, renamed itself after some preppy city academy and a trendy book. Now we're the Valley West Cats. I went to register, but the building was a mess—scaffolding, dust, chaos. The secretary sneered, said we're stuck here and might end up in motorhomes. Mom didn't take it. She yanked us out, signed us up for homeschool, and dragged us to this college to test for AP classes. She's set on getting us into the city academy. We both aced the tests. Excelled, they said. So here I am, not starting high school in a motorhome but commuting to the big city for college classes.
I'm barely awake, gripping my sketchbook as Mom's rattling on about opportunities, her voice tight with that edge I dodge. Dad's not here to buffer, he's at work. I doodle a face in my notebook. After applying my makeup, my armor.
Classes start today. College-level stuff, not high school fluff. I'm done with freshman requirements already. No study hall, just checked boxes. It feels like a joke. I'm speeding through, but for what?
Boys notice me now. Their eyes linger in the halls, on my blonde hair, fit body, bubble butt and my nervous smile. I like it, kind of. The attention's new. Last year, I was just the girl with the art notebook, giggling at sleepovers with friends. Now I'm an outcast in this shiny city campus, surrounded by older students who know who they are. I don't. I'm lost. I am like the girl next door to nowhere. I try to seem All-American. Whatever that means.
I wonder if I'm missing kid stuff: Prom. Sports. Normal high school things.
My friends are probably picking dresses, cheering at games.
I'm here, buried in textbooks, sketching to stay sane.
Mom says this is the path to something big—college, a career, a life that checks all the boxes. But I'm trying to do everything. Classes, art, fitting in. It's overwhelming.
Every choice feels like a fork in the road. What if I'd stayed at Valley West? What if I'd picked a different path? I'm racing to grow up, to figure out who I want to be. Fast. But every step pulls me further from knowing where I'm going.