The sky cracked open.
Not metaphorically — literally.
Moments after Jin Ye stepped off the arena stage, still sipping tea and carrying his folding chair, black clouds began to swirl overhead. Thunder rolled across the sect like an angry stomach rumble from the Heavens themselves.
Disciples screamed. Birds dropped from the sky. A squirrel achieved enlightenment and vanished.
"Wh-what's happening?!" Mu Shun shouted, ducking under a tree that immediately caught fire.
A bolt of lightning exploded on the main pavilion, melting half the sect's ceremonial bell.
High above, clouds twisted into a massive vortex. At the center hung a growing sphere of flickering lightning so dense it turned day into dread-filled twilight.
Sect Leader Lian stood, face pale.
"That's... that's Heavenly Tribulation Lightning!"
An elder dropped his gourd. "But—but no one in the sect is breaking through to Nascent Soul!"
Lian turned to an aide. "Who triggered this?! WHO?!"
The aide pointed one trembling finger.
"…H-him."
Jin Ye, standing at the noodle stall, inspecting buns.
---
[Heavenly System Admin Console]
User: JIN YE
Cultivation Level: Qi Condensation – 6th Stage
Status: Flagged for anomalies
! WARNING: Unauthorized ascension energy detected
Initializing Heavenly Tribulation Protocol…
Error: Cultivation Path Unclear
Error: Fate Thread Missing
Attempting system reset…
Please wait…
---
Back on the Ground...
A crack of thunder sent disciples sprawling.
Jin Ye glanced up.
"Ugh," he muttered. "Already?"
Mu Shun scrambled to him, eyes wide with panic. "Senior Brother! Why is the sky trying to kill you?!"
"Probably thinks I'm ascending."
"You're in Qi Condensation!"
"I know."
"…So why is it doing this?!"
"I don't know," Jin Ye said, setting his bun down carefully. "Maybe the Heavens are just bad at their job."
Another bolt split the sky and struck just a few feet from Jin Ye, blasting a 10-foot crater into the stone path.
Mu Shun screamed.
Jin Ye sighed.
Then, with a bored expression, he looked up at the swirling maelstrom.
"Alright, alright. Let's get this over with."
---
Up Above – Celestial Tribunal
A team of Heavenly Bureaucrats scrambled around a giant glowing scroll.
One pointed frantically. "He's triggering tribulation energy without reaching the required cultivation threshold!"
Another slammed a jade keyboard. "I'm telling you, his file is corrupt! His karma's unreadable, his Dao is classified as 'Undefined,' and his last three spiritual breakthroughs were labeled 'Possibly Dream-Induced.'"
"Who signed off on his rebirth?!"
Everyone pointed at an empty chair.
"...Oh no," someone whispered. "It was her project."
---
Back on the Mountain
The sky screamed.
A bolt of purple-black lightning twisted downward like a divine judgment hammer.
Disciples fled in every direction. Elders threw up protective arrays.
Jin Ye just reached into his sleeve and pulled out... an umbrella.
He opened it.
The bolt struck.
BOOOOOOM.
The ground shattered. Mountains rumbled. A wild deer in the distance evolved into a spiritual beast and died instantly from the shock.
When the smoke cleared, Jin Ye was still standing — dry, calm, sipping tea.
"…This umbrella is pretty good," he muttered.
The crowd stared.
Mu Shun fainted.
---
Inside the sect hall, Elder Qiu screamed again. "HE BLOCKED TRIBULATION LIGHTNING WITH RAIN GEAR!"
Sect Leader Lian held his chest. "He's not human."
"No," Elder Ping whispered, eyes twitching. "He's worse. He's a plot device."
---
Meanwhile, the System Logs…
Warning: User Jin Ye has absorbed 43% of tribulation lightning
Spiritual root attempting to convert lightning into tea-flavored Qi
Passive Qi Absorption now interacting with universal constants
Running emergency patch…
---
Back at the noodle stall...
The clouds began to shrink. The sky returned to blue. The birds reloaded.
Jin Ye sat calmly, umbrella folded, sipping the last of his tea.
From the crowd, a tiny disciple whispered, "He survived... a tribulation... while standing still…"
Another said, "Is... is he the Heavenly Child?"
Jin Ye turned, blinked once, then said:
"No. I'm just built different."
---
Later That Day…
A formal decree was carved into the courtyard stone by Elder Zhou's own hand:
"Jin Ye is hereby promoted to Core Disciple by unanimous elder decree. Effective immediately."
Side note: Do not challenge him. Do not approach without gifts. Do not let him cook unless supervised.
Mu Shun stared at the decree. "Senior Brother, you're in the core sect now... That's the highest level before elder!"
"Mm," Jin Ye said, lying in a hammock he didn't own. "Only took a week. Bit slow, honestly."
Mu Shun's brain quietly folded itself and went on vacation.
---
Elsewhere in the Sect
Inside a sealed cave, Elder Ping knelt before a swirling black portal.
"My master," he whispered. "The brat cannot be stopped with mortal means. I request the forbidden scroll."
A voice emerged from the void, deep and full of malice.
"Use it wisely. The child of chaos must not reach Ascension."
A scroll floated out of the dark.
Ping grinned, madness in his eyes.
---
That Night – In Jin Ye's Dream
He stood in a blank void.
A glowing figure descended, wreathed in golden flame and cosmic authority. A Divine Messenger.
"Jin Ye," it said, "you have broken too many rules. The Heavens cannot tolerate your existence."
Jin Ye yawned.
"You cannot possibly continue like this. You will face consequences. Cosmic ones."
"Sure."
The figure glared. "You've broken the Dao of Suffering, ignored karmic fate, and corrupted tribulation lightning into tea essence!"
Jin Ye raised a hand.
"Wha—what are you doing?"
"Trying to skip cutscene," Jin Ye said. "Button mashing."
"THIS ISN'T A GAME!"
"I don't know, man," he replied. "I'm soloing Heaven's endgame content with beginner gear."
The figure screamed and exploded.
Jin Ye woke up refreshed.
---