Chapter 104: Filch on the Warpath
Night fell on the Ravenclaw common room, but Penelope Clearwater had not yet returned.
"Has anyone seen her?"
"No idea."
"I think it started after that Transfiguration Club meeting, the one that was in the Daily Prophet. She's been coming back late ever since."
"My friend in Hufflepuff says she often sees Penelope in the kitchens, feeding some little pets."
At the mention of "pets," the younger witches' eyes lit up. "What kind of pets?"
The girl with the Hufflepuff friend shrugged. "I haven't seen them myself, but my friend says they're very cute little... rats."
"Rats?" a second-year named Marietta Edgecombe asked, her nose wrinkling in disgust. The other girls reacted similarly. To them, rats were the filthy creatures that lived in the sewers. Ron Weasley's Scabbers was a prime example, a creature tolerated only because the Gryffindor girls were even more intimidating than the rat was repulsive.
"My friend said they're a very cute kind of rat," the girl insisted, though she didn't sound entirely convinced herself. "White and round and fluffy."
"Well then, we should go and see for ourselves," Marietta suggested.
"A little nighttime stroll isn't a big deal," one of the older witches said, "but a trip to the kitchens... that's not very Ravenclaw-like. What if we get caught? Think of the shame!" Sneaking out to the library was one thing, but the kitchens seemed so... Hufflepuff.
"We can go to the kitchens first, then the library," another girl proposed. "If anyone asks, we just say we got hungry while studying."
"And if an older student leads the way, Filch will never see through our Disillusionment Charms. We'll just have to hope we don't run into any professors."
The adventurous young eagles agreed to the plan. And so, a large contingent of Ravenclaw students, led by a few older witches skilled in concealment, slipped out of their common room. If anyone had entered at that moment, they would have found it practically empty.
Unfortunately for Argus Filch, he did not have the authority to enter the common rooms, and his magical abilities were so pitiful that he couldn't detect a Disillusionment Charm to save his life. The older students at Hogwarts had long since ceased to fear him, having amassed a wealth of knowledge on how to evade the cranky caretaker, passed down from generation to generation.
Tonight was a particularly frustrating one for Filch. Guided by Mrs. Norris, he could hear the distinct sound of footsteps all around him, but he couldn't see a single person. He would lunge toward the sound, only to find himself grasping at empty air. After a particularly enthusiastic lunge, he slammed into a stone railing, the impact sending stars bursting behind his eyes. Mrs. Norris meowed in frantic sympathy.
"This is no ordinary student!" he raged. "They have no respect for my authority! I'll have Dumbledore ban the use of magic outside of class hours! I'll write to the Daily Prophet! I'll have the Ministry ban all unlicensed spellcasting!"
A ripple of suppressed laughter echoed through the seemingly empty corridor, a clear mockery of his impotent fury. The footsteps then scattered, heading off in different directions to regroup at their destination.
"Aaargh!" Filch howled at the ceiling, his frustration boiling over.
"Merlin's beard! We just walked right past Filch!"
"Ryan once theorized that Filch's magical ability is so low, it's connected to his lack of talent. He views all talented students with an equal amount of envy."
"So we're the perfect targets?"
"Only if he catches us. And we're not about to let that happen."
The scattered groups of Ravenclaws all converged on the entrance to the kitchens. One of the older students tickled the pear in a still-life painting, and it giggled, transforming into a doorknob.
"What are you all...?" Penelope, who had been watching a performance of Doro and Her Many Friends, looked up to see that nearly every girl in Ravenclaw had just poured into the kitchen.
"We heard you were keeping pet rats in here," one of her year-mates said. "We were curious." She then fell silent, her eyes, and the eyes of every other girl who had just entered, fixated on the miniature playground Penelope had set up.
They were mesmerized. The playground was filled with dozens of small, round, fluffy white rats, all playing with a small, pink-haired creature that was right in the middle of the adorable chaos.
"They're so cute!"
"Look at them!"
"I've never seen anything so adorable!"
The little witches were instantly smitten. The rats, having lived in the playground for some time and benefiting from its various alchemical life-sustaining features, were perfectly round and healthy, like little white puffballs rolling around.
The girls gathered around the playground, some scooping up the tiny creatures and letting them scamper in their palms, others gently poking the ones still playing.
"Is the pink one a rat too?" Marietta asked, pointing to the most energetic of the bunch.
"No," Penelope said with a smile. "That's an alchemical life form created by Ryan."
"Alchemical life?" Marietta gasped. "That's impossible! Hasn't that never been achieved in the history of alchemy?"
"Well, more like a sentient alchemical creation, infused with thoughts and memories," Penelope clarified. "Not a completely new, independent life form. An 'alchemical intelligence,' I suppose you could call it."
"Alchemical intelligence..." the girls repeated, mulling over the new and wondrous term.
~~~
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