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Chapter 85 - Painful Memories

And then, the light began to fade. Shadows stretched long across the ground, twisting unnaturally. The forest that had seemed so eternal began to bend, to warp, and she felt the first stirrings of fear. She turned, just in time to see the horizon crack, and the sky above burn with a color that was not natural.

Illyria's eyes opened—or perhaps they had never truly closed. Time had no meaning here, no cadence, no ticking to remind her of the worlds outside this void. She knelt upon the fractured stones of a Spirit Realm that once thrummed with life, and yet now… now it was a ruin. A testament to greed, to betrayal, to everything she had lost.

The rivers, which had once gleamed silver and hummed with song, now ran like molten obsidian, swallowing light and hope alike. The spires of her kingdom, once tall and proud, twisted in unnatural angles, shards of their former glory jutting skyward like frozen screams. The air smelled of ash, faintly metallic, carrying the echo of a thousand silent cries. And there, at the center of it all, walked Azeriel.

He did not need to strike. He never had. His mere presence brought the ruin to life, the weight of human ambition, of unchecked desire. He was the god of the Human Realm, the orchestrator of emotions , and the one who had claimed her for his own designs. His gaze swept across the desolation, and with every step, Illyria felt the tremor of lives extinguished, the grief of her people pressed into the bones of the land.

Azeriel came first as a whisper—a shadowy presence that grew, coiling like smoke over the hills. His eyes were intent, gleaming with the hunger of a hundred lifetimes, and when he spoke, the forest shivered. He was human, yet more than human; a god-shaped figure, commanding the earth beneath him, bending the rivers, twisting the trees.

"Take her," the voice commanded, though it was only Azeriel. "She is yours to claim. She is ours to wield."

The white forests recoiled from him, petals shriveling to ash midair, and the silver rivers turned black, as though the world itself wept for what was to come. Illyria stepped back, but her feet, as light as whispers, barely left marks in the dying grass. She watched, helpless, as the beauty of her home—the Spirit Realm, the endless light, the laughter of those she had never truly known—began to crumble.

The cliffs fractured. The rivers boiled. Trees twisted and screamed without sound. And above it all, the human greed, embodied in Azeriel, pressed forward, devouring, consuming, desecrating what was once sacred. Illyria could see it all, every moment, every death, every betrayal, like a tapestry woven in fire and shadow. She could not stop it. She had no power here—only memory, only vision, only grief.

She remembered her family, now gone. Her mother, Serenia, whose love had touched even Kaelus's unfeeling heart. She remembered her people, the clansmen, the friends, all vanishing under the cruelty of human ambition. She remembered the laughter, now silenced. The joy, now turned to ash. And in the distance, the last echo of her mother's voice, as if carried by the wind itself: "Live… survive… remember…"

Tears threatened, but her hollow form could not shed them yet. The void had trained her in restraint, had made her a weapon, had stripped her of self. And yet, even as the landscape of her childhood disintegrated, a spark flickered deep within—a memory, a pulse, a fragment of warmth, fragile and tremulous.

Seraphine's hand lingered in her hair as the queen disappeared beyond the horizon. "We will meet again," Seraphine's voice whispered. "No matter the time, no matter the war, no matter the ruin."

Then came the crushing presence of Azeriel. He stepped forward, and in that moment, Illyria understood the betrayal of fate. He was not merely an invader; he was the instrument of everything she had lost, everything she had been forced to endure. He was the god of human greed, the one who coveted what she could not willingly give. And yet… he had also nurtured her, paradoxically, in the five long years of her forced servitude.

The duality was unbearable. Rage, grief, confusion, helplessness—they all mingled in the hollow spaces of her chest. She could feel it—the truth that she had been manipulated, controlled, shattered, remade. And in that moment, the voice of the void whispered, deep and resonant, not her own, not even Kaelus's.

"Why do you cry, child of ancient blood?" it said. "Why do you tremble in the ashes of what was? I have seen this countless times. Why can you not change it? I have given you power. I have given you sight. I have given you essence. Yet still, you falter. Do you think the world owes you mercy? You were not meant to exist, yet here you stand. Do you hate your father, or do you hate yourself for surviving?"

Illyria froze. The question burned through her hollow shell, through the carefully constructed walls of obedience and restraint. She did not answer. She could not. And yet, for the first time, she felt something stir—not the calculated awareness of a weapon, not the cold logic of obedience, but the faint, trembling ghost of emotion. Pain. Sadness. Love. Grief.

Azeriel advanced. The forests shattered under his step, rivers boiled and turned black, and yet she did not flinch. She watched, and in that watching, she felt the first taste of freedom. Not freedom in the sense of power or battle, but freedom in the choice to observe, to carry, to remember, to feel.

Her gaze drifted to the horizon, to the ruins of the Spirit Realm. Light still flickered in the fragments of silver trees. Dust swirled in the air like tiny galaxies, and she could see—if only for a heartbeat—the lives that might have been. The people who had loved her. The friends who had never betrayed her. The laughter that could have filled the air.

Seraphine's necklace pulsed faintly, a heartbeat against the stillness of the void. She held it close. Even in the hollow, weaponized shell she had become, she could feel the tether, the essence of connection, the whisper of loyalty and love across the fabric of shattered time.

And then, a scream of the past, jagged and pure, tore through her consciousness—the echo of destruction, the moment the Spirit Realm had been shattered, the moment she had been taken, bound, and forced to obey. Azriel's hand, the human god's greed, the flames, the rivers boiling, the forests collapsing—it all collided at once in her mind, a kaleidoscope of grief.

She fell to her knees, but not with surrender. She fell with awareness. Not with despair. She fell with understanding. She had lived, she had endured, she had been a puppet, a hollow dagger, a weapon forged without heart—and yet, here she was. Witness. Survivor. Something more than mere steel and obedience.

And the void whispered again, softer now, almost pitying: "You were the bane of existence, forgotten monarch. You are the blood of the ancients. You are the consequence of power untempered. Yet still, you remain. Why do you think it is happening to you? Can you bear it, child? Can you endure the grief that is your inheritance?"

Her chest ached, her mind spun, and for the first time in centuries, a single tear slipped—not in anger, not in hatred, not in joy, but in the pure recognition of what she had lost.

The white forests, the silver rivers, the laughing spirits—they were gone, yet not entirely. Their memory lingered, fragile as a breath, as delicate as the pearl in her hand. And even as the grief threatened to engulf her, even as Azriel's presence loomed like shadow, Illyria's heart, hollow no longer, trembled with the first faint flicker of choice.

The dream was far from over. The void held her, suspended, timeless, infinite. And she would live in it, remember it, feel it, until the threads of the past had woven themselves into the strength she would need for what came next.

The last whisper of the void, resonant and eternal, faded into silence:

"Change… or be consumed."

Illyria's eyes closed, but the vision remained. The ruins stretched before her, jagged spires of silver stone twisted into shapes no longer recognizable. The rivers she once knew, pure and humming with life, had turned to molten black, reflecting the sky that bled red and ash. The screams of her people were silent echoes in her mind, haunting without sound, each one a note in a symphony of grief that pierced deeper than any blade.

She sank to her knees again, her hands trembling as she pressed the pearl from Seraphine's necklace to her chest. Its warmth was faint but unwavering, a tether to the love and care she had been allowed for a fleeting moment. The memory of Seraphine brushing her hair, the gentle touch, the whispered promises, came to her in fragments, glimmering through the despair. "We will find each other. Always," it had said. And even now, in this desolation, that promise echoed louder than the ruin.

Azeriel stepped closer, yet he did not strike. He did not need to. His presence alone carried the weight of destruction, of every greed-laden command, every life snuffed under his human ambition. The Spirit Realm had fallen because of him—because of men like him. Yet as he stood there, triumphant, Illyria did not feel fear, nor hate. She felt the hollowness of someone who had been a weapon, and for the first time, the flicker of something else—a consciousness that could observe, understand, and bear witness without being consumed entirely.

She let her gaze drift to the fragments of the world she had lost. Light still glimmered faintly in the corners, the stubborn persistence of what had once been. Tiny flowers of silver still clung to stone, shimmering faintly against the shadows of ruin. And in that fragile persistence, she recognized the reflection of her own survival—delicate, frail, yet enduring.

The pearl pulsed again, and in its heartbeat, she felt a pull—a direction, a purpose, a faint whisper of the path she might take. It was not vengeance. It was not anger. It was understanding. The Spirit Realm was gone, her mother and family lost, Seraphine gone from her sight—but she herself remained. Hollow, yes, but aware. Alive, in her own way, even if she could not yet grasp the fullness of life.

The void around her shifted subtly, responding to the pulse of power that now throbbed in her chest. Time remained still, but within her, a storm moved, a current of energy that had once been her father's, now flowing through her. She was the heir to both devastation and power, to destruction and creation. She could feel it, raw and untempered, clawing at her mind, demanding acceptance. She could feel the ghost of grief intertwined with possibility.

Her fingers curled around the pearl, holding it tighter. "I am here," she whispered, her voice barely a sound, yet resonant in the vast silence. "I am still here."

And the void answered—not with words, but with the sensation of wind across endless white plains, of light threading through shadow, of the memory of warmth and connection she had almost forgotten.

In that silence, she allowed herself to fall forward into the remnants of her dream, into the infinite space of her own mind. She did not yet weep. She did not yet call for vengeance. She only observed, felt, and remembered. The devastation of the Spirit Realm, the destruction wrought by Azriel, the grief of what she had lost—all of it passed through her without breaking her entirely.

And in that quiet observation, the first subtle embers of choice began to glow. She would live. Not as a weapon. Not as a hollow dagger. Not as a puppet bound by others' greed. She would live. And someday, she would decide what to do with the power, the memory, and the pain she had inherited.

The void held her, endless and timeless, but she felt no fear. She felt only the slow, certain unfolding of herself, the recognition that even in grief and ruin, even in the wake of absolute destruction, she had emerged—hollow yet alive, fractured yet unbroken.

And somewhere, faintly, the whisper returned, the voice of something older, divine, eternal:

"Change… or be consumed. The choice is yours, child of the ancients."

Illyria closed her eyes, and for the first time in centuries, allowed herself a small, trembling breath—not in despair, not in sorrow, not in hope, but simply because she could.

And in that breath, she felt the first true stirrings of herself—the hollow dagger, the survivor, the phoenix yet to rise, waiting for the day she would awaken fully.

The dream stretched endlessly before her, the ruins of the past and the fragments of memory mingling, until finally, she surrendered to the timeless space. She sank into it completely, allowing herself to float in the quiet, suspended reality. And there, in that infinite, eternal silence, Illyria began to sleep.

In the silence, in the void, in the echo of a destroyed Spirit Realm, she remained. Witness, survivor, hollow dagger, bearer of power, and a soul beginning to awaken.

Not the sleep of oblivion, nor the sleep of escape—but the sleep of rebirth.

A phoenix gathering strength, gathering power, gathering the fragments of a soul long broken, ready to rise again.

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