How could he sleep without any reaction or discomfort during so much commotion? Even now, as the silence faded and everything returned to normal, some students had the nerve to throw things. They started with soft things like paper balls and pencils, but now they were throwing erasers, pencil cases, and anything heavy they could find. His friends couldn't do much, not if they didn't want to see Tsuna sad. It was painful, sometimes humiliating. Tsuna was too soft inside. He could go through hell many times, be on the brink of death, injured and beaten to the limit, but he didn't cry about it, or feel as sad as anyone else would. He could get sad, or even cry, about truly useless and stupid things, but never for himself—at least, not that they knew of. However, the most incredible thing was that he was sad for them and for people he considered innocent. Yet, if they were the cause of something like that, it would be much worse to be so quiet, since he would try not to show it, but they would never be blamed. It was disconcerting.
Neither of them could bear to see Tsuna sad, let alone cry, let alone both at once. Even though it was silent and usually rare, that didn't stop them from knowing if they paid due attention. The best thing to do was to wait for him to wake up and put a stop to it himself, but it didn't seem like he would wake up soon; he must have been beyond the fifth cloud. Not to mention he was a pacifist. He looked like a living rock, unaffected by anything that was thrown at him or how it was thrown, not by the noise or the lack of it. In fact, this wasn't the first time they'd wondered if he was dead—as horrible as it sounded—but that wasn't the case. His chest rose and fell slowly, almost imperceptibly, with no sounds to give it away.
When the bell rang, the vast majority ran out to lunch. No teacher seemed to care about their behavior, or maybe they didn't even notice. Whatever the case, the two friends were now alone and somewhat lost. They never thought that Tsuna was a heavy sleeper, not with Reborn as his full-time tutor. But what did they know? They had only been formal friends for five months and best friends for two. Although, if they thought about it, Tsuna knew them more than they knew him, probably due to his great attention to almost everything. Besides, he never had friends before Reborn's arrival, which brought many bad and good things they had yet to see, and one of them was a great deal of time to look at what he longed for: friends. Perhaps that's why he knew everyone around him very well, even if he wasn't accepted by them.
"Please, Tsuna… wake up…" "…Don't do this to us. You deserve to live…" "We're really sorry!" "Please! For whatever you want… don't go…"
"Hey, it's time to wake up, sleepyhead," she said playfully, pushing his shoulder, trying to wake him up. "Yamamoto-san?… I'm very comfortable… hmm…"
Yamamoto and Gokudera blinked in perplexity. Was he talking in his sleep, or was he not fully conscious? And where did that "Yamamoto-san" come from?
"Yamamoto-san, hey, I don't know what's going on, but you have to wake up." "Let me, Gokudera-san… please…"
Now they both felt very lost. "-san?" Since when? And even better, since when was he begging them? They were not liking this at all. Was that what he called them in his mind? Or what the hell was he dreaming of? They knew that he was reserved and very fearful with them, but this was new. Somehow, they didn't feel as close as before. Friends didn't call each other with "-san," unless it was out of mockery or something very important, but not like that. Well, it didn't matter. Tsuna was his best friend and nothing could change that.
"Wake up… please…"
They didn't want to move him much; they didn't want to hurt him by accident. And they wouldn't admit it out loud: they were scared and too surprised to think properly, so they just moved his shoulders slightly. After groaning in resignation, they could see his eyes slowly open. They looked sad and tired. He blinked before sitting up with confusion written on his face, as if something was lost. He shook his head a bit before looking at them with a bit of joy, as if he was seeing his birthday present in his hands.
"Gokudera-kun? Yamamoto? Is something wrong?" he asked, a little curious, but he already knew the answer to his question.
"It's lunchtime and you didn't want to wake up." "Wow, you're a heavy sleeper, Tsuna."
For once, they didn't start arguing as usual, which made him happier and gave them a small smile of apology, which they couldn't help but return before helping him up. He looked very tired. Did it have to do with his sprint to get to school? They were tired, but not so much. Although they were not acrobats like him, nor did they drag anyone. Rather, it was absolutely the opposite. Overall, the day had been full of surprises, so many that they were already exhausted, and it was barely halfway through the day!
Tsuna, seeing their expressions, decided to give them a silly and light lie—anything that sounded logical, believable, and a little silly. After a few seconds, he knew exactly what lie to tell them, and with a slight smile and pretending to be tired, he said:
"I'm sorry, I didn't sleep very well last night… Reborn made me study the history of the formation and creation of Italy… and then he gave me a test… I didn't come out very well, let's just say."
Both Gokudera and Yamamoto noticed the lack of sarcasm and hatred towards their tutor, but they didn't take it very seriously; he must be too tired to make an effort to be sarcastic, or so they both thought, unintentionally omitting the calmness with which he spoke. After all, it would be logical to expect bitterness or anger—in little, moderate, or a lot depending on the mood—in such a statement by a teenager, but it did not cross their minds for a moment. They accepted the explanation without much hesitation, making Tsuna smile slightly in relief and follow them.
They walked silently to the rooftop and took their usual place, and took out their lunches, looking at the contents with curious eyes despite knowing exactly what was there beforehand. Then they looked at Tsuna to ask what his was, only to be surprised to see him comfortably leaning against the wall, with his hands on his lap and his eyes halfway closed, looking up at the sky with nostalgia. They both made an internal face. What had they missed today?
This is too long to be a dream, and I highly doubt I'm in a coma. This is too real… and Primo has already told me it isn't. Why do I find it hard to believe him? He has never lied to me, and I am sure he will not do it now. Maybe I'm just very suspicious. This is real life, I don't see anything that denies it now, but… Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine this, but I also didn't imagine being the head of an entire highly feared and wealthy mafia family, let alone being trained by a baby… a baby who was the best hitman in the world and the most sadistic tutor I have ever met… Even now, it sounds totally like something from TV. Maybe I've already lost my last thread of sanity. It could be, but I doubt it very much; I still reason perfectly well…
"…Are you not going to eat?"
Tsuna left his mind at the unexpected question, one that he must have seen coming, but he didn't. He slightly frowned before telling the truth, or the closest thing to it anyway. He couldn't tell them something like, "I'm not from this era and where I come from I don't eat much." That would end up in a lot of trouble for his liking after the third repetition, because they wouldn't believe it at first, thinking he was joking or something. That, and he didn't want to see Reborn in interrogation mode so soon, thank you very much. He didn't want that so soon at all.
"I'm not very hungry, Yamamoto… if I eat, I doubt it'll be much…"
Silence. Tsuna spoke as casually as if he was talking about the weather, not taking his eyes off the clear, bright sky above them. They both looked at each other, wondering what they had missed or what was going on. Tsuna was acting very out of character. In the middle of their visual debate, which wasn't much and wasn't helping, they heard Tsuna mutter to himself:
"I wish I could be like this… as clear as the sky…"
If before they did not know what to say and what to do, much less what was happening, now even less! And Tsuna was not helping them at all, quite the opposite. Tsuna didn't seem to notice or care about the awkward silence that formed after such a sincere statement. He was too deep into his own mind and sight to do so. He had not seen such a beautiful sky in a long time, let alone felt the warmth of the sun, since he was "shut up" in the mansion, so to speak. Finally, Yamamoto couldn't take it anymore and decided to ask the question that he was dying to get out for the entire course of the day:
"…What's going on? You've been acting weird all day…"
Tsuna blinked and looked at him, confused, until his mind connected the dots and left him wanting to just leave the place and say nothing. But he couldn't do that, let alone say what he wanted to say, unless he wanted to see them in a frenzy, which would be a lot of fun. In the end, Tsuna settled for:
"Me? Really nothing. It's just that…" he sighed to make it more believable, and looked away with the same intention. "…I feel lonely… and I know I'm not… It's just one of those days when nothing cheers me up…"
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw them become slightly sad and a little understanding. Well, he told himself, they were falling for it easily, and that was very good for him. Less effort and simple. In a nutshell: less work he had to do, and less trouble and hassle, too. He had never thought about it, but in this day and age they were very gullible, too much in his humble opinion—a double-edged sword.
"Don't worry so much. It's just a day, not a life." He mentally applauded himself for the rhyme. "It will pass. Until then, it's better to relax and rest."
And let me be. I will not be able to act like the Tsuna of this time, even if I remember. I think I'll call him Tsunayoshi-sama from now on. Not only is he better than me and he's who "my family" wants at any time, but calling him Tsuna… I'm going to get confused on my own, more than usual, especially when I get depressed, which is very frequent… huh?
"But… how is that?" Yamamoto asked slowly, as if searching for the right words, letting go of his shoulder at the same time. He had to get his attention somehow.
"Hmm?" Hell, he thought to himself, what could he tell them now? I don't even understand the question! So he played dumb. Maybe he should have said something else. It's not that he didn't enjoy talking to them, but he never liked being questioned, especially when he didn't want to talk.
"How come you have days like this? Juudaime shouldn't be sad…"
Tsuna grimaced in his mind at what was said. I had forgotten how much of a given Gokudera-san was. Thank goodness I didn't hint at anyone, or I would have already done "boom." But… shouldn't I be sad? I can't always be happy! Although that's not the point. I'd better just go with the flow and stay calm and without a headache… I wish…
"It's not something that can be controlled, but it can be managed," he began, trying to calm the situation before it went too deep or escaped his control. As funny as it was, he didn't want a discussion right now and less about this topic, even if in the end they would discuss anything but that and probably Hibari-san would come and bite them to death for disturbing the peace and interrupting their nap. "Have you ever had days when you feel different and almost nothing changes your feeling?"
"…"
"I'll take that as a yes." He didn't think it was a no with those faces. It was fun to see them speechless, but also quite painful…
"…"
"Hey guys, be happy and leave those faces." It hurts a lot to see you like this… I've got an idea… I just hope I don't regret it later… "What do you think if I see the food to see if something tempts me?"
Even though I'm not hungry… but I'd better eat something from now on, otherwise they'll start to worry more than they should. And it's not like I can hide the long-term effects, or deceive them. Someone has to see me eat, at my house or somewhere else. How can I avoid that? It's impossible without them noticing. I also have another concern… I have to organize my mind. Even with these pathetic lies that work perfectly and are logical, if I use them too much, they will start to doubt me and worry too much. I'm a pathetic creature, a bloodthirsty monster. I shouldn't be here… but… My ring has granted me my wish in some way, so… If I'm going to be here, I could at least help my past self a little bit, like payment for stealing her body and… his life… and… Are?
"Sleepyhead~~, how about this?"
Tsuna blinked several times, making Yamamoto laugh slightly, who was holding a piece of his lunch in front of Tsuna. However, Tsuna recovered just in time to stop Gokudera from shouting things at Yamamoto along the lines that he shouldn't treat him like that, that he was an idiot and blah blah blah. Frankly, it wasn't important to him, and no one gave him much attention at that time. Although he appreciated care, sometimes Gokudera exaggerated, at least that was the case in the past, that is, in this era.
"…Sushi?…" he asked carefully, not really knowing what to say or do. When was the last time he had been offered food? Except for his mom and today's breakfast, of course. He had no idea, but he wasn't hungry, so…
"At least try it. I did."
And there was the winning card. He couldn't refuse something like that. Well, it's not that he could eat it all, even if he wanted to. He hadn't eaten a bite so as not to make anyone uncomfortable after the incident, and then because it didn't tempt him anymore. So he was oblivious to everything edible except water. If the latter was considered edible, logically anyone would think that he ate something secretly to stay alive, but the fact is that no, apparently, that wouldn't kill him. He looked at Yamamoto's smiling face as he handed him his food, and he wasn't so surprised to see Gokudera do the same, as the self-proclaimed right-hand man must serve his boss in the best possible way. He still disagreed with that stupid phrase; he hated it, actually. Stupid mafia. Oh well, he would just have to try both, right?
"A-arigato…" How he managed to say that and not vomit, he would never know, and he didn't want to know.
With that, he took both, since he didn't want any fight. He wasn't in the mood for it, and they seemed to know it. He took a bite of the sushi before the expectant looks of both of them. He did the impossible not to show his tremendous desire to vomit such a delight. He sighed mentally; this was going to be a long road. The problem was not his body, because it wasn't his exactly, but his mind. So long without eating… it was normal that he didn't accept it the first time. He swallowed gently and returned the sushi with a smile.
"Yamamoto… bless your hands… it is truly delicious."
With that, he cut off any questions and left his friend very happy, so much so that he didn't notice carefully that he only ate one bite, which was a great relief. Then he proceeded to taste the giant sandwich. He chewed slowly, then swallowed and gave another smile. Even though he wanted to go to a bathroom and vomit everything. A normal reaction for cases like this, which wasn't really helping him, not at all, to be honest with himself.
"For a sandwich… giant version… it's the best I've had in years… thank you."
And it's not a lie… I haven't tasted a sandwich in two and a half years, nor sushi either… He returned the giant bread and sighed softly, looking at his two friends too happy to realize that he didn't take anything more than a small bite of everything. As they ate and talked, he couldn't help but think about what he was doing to keep them safe and happy. His past self could do that job very well, but because of his selfishness… he was here instead. He took his own food and began to fiddle with it. It was better to eat something, so he killed two birds with one stone: he didn't worry anyone that much and he would start to assimilate this action again. Although frankly, he didn't want to. He sighed and was hugely scared—thank God he managed to stay calm and not hit anyone as a first reaction—when he was stroked on the head, specifically his hair. It felt very good.
"You're not going to sleep with this… or are you?"
Yamamoto didn't get an answer, and both he and Gokudera were quite surprised to feel him move more comfortably against them, giving them more access to his hands. For all they knew, Tsuna would be like a tomato right now, too embarrassed to say anything to them, let alone stand still and not start stuttering and trying to change the situation or leave. He was quite shy about these things. One thing was a bit playful, but this would surely make him quite nervous at the very least. But here they were, and Tsuna was rather completely calm, and silently giving him permission to continue. Gokudera forgot how to speak for a moment and only managed to hit Yamamoto for his daring, who didn't notice, curious and still surprised.
"You like it?"
Again they did not get a response. However, they stopped almost suddenly when they felt his breathing slow and slow, a sign that he was falling asleep. But when he stopped, he returned to reality so to speak, as he moved a little and looked at them perplexed and curious, but said absolutely nothing. They looked at each other out of the corner of their eye; they already had an idea of how to wake him up and relax him at the same time if he fell asleep in class again, even though it was a very rare thing that he would stay still and peaceful, and not embarrassed and trying to leave or something like that. Tsuna looked at them even more confused than before, silently asking them what was going on, and they remembered exactly why they caught his attention in such a way.
"If you don't want to eat that, why don't we swap it out?" "We could give each other half and half if there is no problem…"
I really liked that… to be touched again… but I don't want to eat anything… heck, I can't say no or that I've already eaten, or tell them anything else or worry even more… and they are very capable of forcing me to eat… what a remedy, and what a tragedy… He gave them a smile before giving them his food. Why wouldn't he want it? they both asked each other in silence, because it looked very good, even though it was something so simple: rice and meat in stew, nothing extravagant or strange, but certainly very good looking and smelling. Leaving those thoughts to themselves, they carefully gave him half of each, and their own they exchanged to assure Tsuna that it was okay to do that and do something new to brighten up the atmosphere. In short, no one would eat their own food today. Unknown to them, Tsuna wasn't even giving them the slightest attention; he didn't care about the truth, it was just food, and he didn't want to eat.
"Hahaha, Juudaime, you would have seen his face when he saw that you totally nailed it," he paused to murmur, "stupid professor, hahaha…"
Tsuna just blinked, ignoring Yamamoto's laughter just remembering the moment. He didn't see how funny the situation really was, but it did make them happy and distracted them. They might as well laugh about it all day. Although no doubt many people would call him crazy, but what did that matter? The mafia was very strange and crazy, so frankly something like this was very normal in that topic, and since when did he care about the opinion of strangers?
"…Seriously?" he decided to continue the conversation, between curious and looking for a way to forget about what he was forcing himself to eat.
"Yes, hahaha, he spent about ten minutes looking for some mistake… and he didn't find it, hahaha…"
Tsuna made an internal grimace. What the hell did I miss because I was sleeping? I don't understand so much laughter, but at least they are not arguing, that's a relief, less headache for me… although sadly I already have a stomachache…
"And the others? Even we were with our mouths on the floor, hahaha…" Yamamoto continued, clearly enjoying the memory.
"Only the first two minutes…" Gokudera defended himself. He was not like any of those idiots! Thank you very much. However, he continued happily: "They still don't believe it! Hahaha… I will never forget their faces… they deserve it."
Oh they can't be serious… Tsuna thought with faint amazement, mentally patting his forehead. He knew very well that he was Dame-Tsuna, and that it was rare to answer something right, but this was an exaggeration!
"True, true…" agreed the baseball player. "They looked like they were watching the woman coming out of the TV right in front of them… hahaha…" he paused. "What was the name of that film?"
Oh for God's sake… I think I'm going to throw up, but I don't know if it's from the embarrassment of this or because of the food… Thinking about it, surely the second one. Maybe I should have been softer… No, but what do I say? Of course not, I have to rub the answers in their faces. I was not Reborn's student for nothing, and for nothing am I the Tenth Vongola, so they have to put up with it as I put up with all those insults and intimidation almost for life… Yes, nothing soft, I will be normal, easy, simple, and they will leave me alone.
"And not only that… now it's the whole school! Be careful, there goes Juudaime, to beat everyone, yooooohoooooooo!"
One of Tsuna's eyebrows shuddered. What…? "Very well, I will also include you in the Gokudera-san package. I will refute every bad answer you give in class from now on, which are several…"
"Ma ma, that's an understatement. I'll imagine what it will be like when the rest find out…" she rubbed her hands eagerly. "And sleeping in class! No more, no less… ha ha ha…"
Outwardly, Tsuna heard everything with a small smile on his face, carefully and slowly eating the last of his left. Inside, he was quite embarrassed. Yet, to be there, hearing them laugh so happily… it made him feel warm and calm inside, as if everything would be fine. It made him feel good, if only for a little while, and allowed him to find strength to be able to move forward with nothing but a slight upset in the back of his throat… and the urge to vomit of course, but it was passable. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he felt so warm, so… dear. It hurt, but it made him feel… beloved. It felt good. And he wanted it to be maintained, but… that was impossible. He didn't belong there, and nowhere for that matter. Although, if he could do something for them… it doesn't matter what it was… he would do it with pleasure.
"Was it so surprising? I just wanted to sleep at that moment…" It was the truth, but this topic already had him quite embarrassed and wanting to leave. He never liked this kind of attention.
"Surprising, surprising, is that all you have to say?"
Tsuna blinked, and before he could open his mouth and answer, Gokudera practically shouted:
"You were spectacular! There are no words that can describe it!" "We are proud of you… for this and much more!"
…First time that…
"…Tsuna?" "…Thank you… thanks a lot…"
…First time you tell me that, and not my mom… first time that… they tell me that he has done something right… without me asking them… This is quite humiliating and embarrassing.
"…Are you okay?… Juudaime?" "It was not our intention to…"
They were both alarmed at the sight of the tears, but Tsuna cut them short before they could ask any further. He didn't want to hear any of that. He sensed very well what they would say, so he didn't need to hear something he already knew, and he didn't want to hear so little.
"I'm fine, it's just… they have made me very happy…"
That was pretty cheesy, but it's the best thing I could think of. They should not know. No one should know. He didn't want anyone's pity, and he thought Tsunayoshi-sama so little. He had already been humiliated enough with Reborn-san; he didn't need more. It's better that way anyway.
They couldn't help but sigh in relief, to then wipe away his naughty tears and gently hug him before he could pull away from them. He was very embarrassed, and they couldn't blame him for that; they would be in his place too. Something told them that nothing would end very well if they squeezed it too tightly, but that didn't stop them from smiling. It wasn't supposed to be very cheerful nowadays, but they were. He was happy, so much so that he cried about it. Or so they supposed. It was something moving and… they wanted him. They wanted him to be as happy as he made them feel, to take care of him as he took care of them, if not more.
"Thank you…" "Ma ma, no problem." "…Soon the doorbell will ring, what do we have now?" "Two hours of Social Sciences and we can go home." "Doesn't it bother them if I go to sleep again?"
"…"
"What's going on?"
"…Juudaime, how come you can sleep with so much noise and under so many blows?"
Yamamoto nodded his head in confirmation of his friend. Tsuna rubbed his eyes lightly. Somehow, it wasn't surprising, but it was strange not to see Gokudera yelling at Yamamoto for his daring. And the news was frankly strange; he hadn't expected something like that, but at the same time he felt that it was something normal.
"Punches? They were throwing things at me, weren't they?…" was the only logical explanation he could think of, in a classroom with the teacher present anyway. "Puff, as if he could feel it… just now and if I feel Leon, and he weighs more than a ton if he wants…"
"…It's true…"
Either I'm a good liar, or they're very naive too… maybe both… but I shouldn't be overconfident, they always have the rarest moments to discover things… Wait, not only them, but the whole family except Reborn-san and most of the Arcobalenos, and yet they also have their rare moments…
"...As for the noise…" he continued slowly. "I live in a house where screaming and explosions are common…" He didn't remember if that was true or not, but he was sure it wasn't silent most of the time. "I don't really like the noise of a classroom."
They nodded; that made sense.
"Besides, I'm still sleepy… and at home they won't let me sleep…"
They nodded again. However, unknown to them everything was a lie. Absolutely everything. To be honest, he was a very light sleeper and any noise could wake him up. He just didn't want to get bored in class, and for the most part, he was pretending. He was a great actor for things like that. It helped that he was tired, but otherwise he doesn't sleep even 5 minutes in that room. He had to be a great actor if he didn't want to die, either for Reborn-san, for the enemies, or for his Family. Although the first one was very doubtful; he hadn't seen Reborn-san since the day of his first murder, to which he continually wondered why he didn't kill him that same day. Anyway, now he didn't have time to think about it. They had to go to class. He arranged his things and helped the others before going to his destination.
Once in the living room, Tsuna went to sleep, under the watchful eye of his friends. Perhaps he could not feel the blows, but they did not want them to hurt him, no matter how small it was. It was a pity that they didn't know that Tsuna was awake and he wasn't foolish enough to let himself be hurt by anything they threw at him, but he was bored and a lot.
"Is Tsu-kun okay?" Kyoko asked very worried when she arrived at the class and saw Tsuna going to the moon again. "Yes, he's just tired, he had a hard night." "Oh, I see… may you rest well then, Tsu-kun…"
Unnoticed by them, Tsuna smiled slightly upon hearing them. The class went smoothly and was soon over, leaving only three people, one of them sleeping peacefully, without any worries in the world, slightly baffling his friends with it. They rarely saw him so calm. It was like winning the lottery. But now… It wasn't that they didn't like him, in fact, they liked him much more than seeing him scared or nervous, which is almost all the time. It's just that… they felt that something was not right.
"Tsuna, it's time to wake up." "…Hmm… coming…"
They sighed with relief; he wasn't begging or anything strange anymore. He got up and stretched hard before taking his morale. He smiled softly.
"Thank you, guys." "No problem, Juudaime!" "Ma ma, you're welcome, Tsuna. It's time to go… You know, we have some time…" "How about we go to your house, Juudaime?" "I think it's a good idea, can we?"
They were answered with a friendly little smile, and then like a soft laugh like the breeze, Tsuna seemed to find this amusing somehow. Sadly, they did not know which one. They ask for permission when they never did… hehehe…
"They know that they will never receive a no. They are more than welcome, so… why do they ask?" That was the truth; it was silly and funny.
And so, they went home and spent hours playing, talking, and laughing, much to the surprise of the rest of the family who were present—a very pleasant and welcome surprise. Reborn had a smile on his face as he listened to them in the kitchen, took another sip of his coffee. He knew they would fix everything. They were his closest family other than his mother. They knew him better than him, so they could do a lot to help, even more than the rest of the family, but… something felt strange, something had changed, but what? And why?… And would he be good or bad? He would find out soon; he was not the best hitman in the world for nothing.