Part-1
It was a cold night. Winter had arrived early that year. Ishan was sitting in his room, reading, as it seemed.
But he was unable to concentrate. Something was odd about the night.
Normally he would study late till 3-4 am, but he felt exhausted that night much earlier than usual.
He decided he needed to sleep, so he kept his books aside and went on to sleep.
Could he sleep??.
Ofcourse not, as it was a strange night.
First he felt like sleeping, then he felt like waking and then he put his efforts to sleep again.
He tried hard to keep all his thoughts and imaginations aside, tried to escape them, but the more he tried, the more he fell into his never ending thoughts.
The fear of his exam, the joy of going to college and start a new life, the excitement of making new friends, the sorrow of losing his old ones, all these emotions were bursting inside him one after another.
Finally, he decided, as all his efforts to put him into sleep were in vain, to go outside in the nearby park.
Maybe after some walking,he could fall back to sleep easily.
He went into the park in the middle of the night.
Except for a few sleeping dogs, there was no one there.
Perfect place for an introvert who needed an escape from his own self.
So, he started walking, feeling the pleasure of the cold winds brushing past his cheeks.
He felt much relaxed.
He was alone, away from everyone, just him with his thoughts.
The night belonged to him and him alone.
But not for long.
A sweet voice landed on his ears.
"What are you doing here, so late??".
He jumped away from the voice.
Why he jumped, that question came into his mind as he looked towards the source of the voice.
There she was, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen was standing in front of him, smiling.
She kept smiling and then burst into laughter.
" Why did you jump? Did I scare you?? Sorry, I didn't mean to.".
Said the girl, still trying to hold back her laugh.
Ishan was confused and pretty much excited at the same time.
He didn't know what to say, and how could he, he had never talked to a girl before.
Finally after he came back to his senses, he said, " Yes, you did scare me, but no need to say sorry, the night is to blame".
The girl gave a smile, such smile which melted Ishan's Heart.
He couldn't believe that he spoke a full sentence to a girl and even that his sentence brought a smile on her angel like face.
Then the girl replied, " You still didn't answer my question??".
Ishan then tried hard to remember what she had asked in the first place as he had focussed only on the sweetness of her voice and not what she had said.
He gave up and then asked, " Sorry, can you please repeat your question??.
" Well, I had asked what you were doing so late here".
" Nothing, I was just trying to relieve my stress" he said.
"Why are you stressed?", she asked
" I was stressed because I had been thinking about my upcoming exam, my study,my preparation among other things. Actually I have a habit of overthinking, I don't know why, but sometimes this overthinking causes too much stress."
He paused for a bit to wait for her reply but she just gave another smile.
He continued, " Well, I believe after passing my exam, and after getting into a good college, everything will be fine".
This time, she didn't smile.
"Why do you think your life will be fine AFTER you get into college, is there no reason for it to be fine now?" "NOW in the present, where you actually are, are you not fine"
" Well, you are breathing, walking and to my knowledge you can run too. You can taste the good food, you can feel the air, you can talk to whomever you want, you can imagine whatever you want, you can sleep, you can dream, you can feel sadness, can become excited and happy, you can see this world with every tiny detail, can appreciate the beauty around you and above you, you can look at the stars and wonder what we are"
" If you can do all these things, then my friend this is what we call life, and life is not something you wait for, it's something you live now, in the present".
Ishan was shocked to hear such response from her.
Her speech was amazing.
But nevertheless it was only a speech for Ishan, he didn't figure it out, he just heard it and appreciated the words spoken in such beautiful way from such beautiful girl.
He had already heard things like this many a times as motivational speeches, these words didn't really had an effect on his overthinking nature which was solely superimposed by his goal.
But, now he had to appreciate her for her encouraging words, not because he was encouraged but because he didn't want
this conversation to end.
" I am really flattered, thanks, what you just said was amazing, I...I will surely try not to stress now, you just opened my eyes" Ishan said thinking whether he had said too much.
She again gave her ecstatic smile.
Now it was Ishan's turn.
He asked, "Well, what are you doing so late, if I may ask??".
" Nothing, It's just my habit to walk in the night. I am a late sleeper, Also I love to scare people who forget to sleep and come out of their houses to take a midnight stroll." She said still keeping her smile
" I am seeing you here for the first time, where are you from?? Ishan asked.
" I am not from here, I just came to visit my Uncle who lives here, in the neighborhood" she said, winding her hair with her fingers.
Ishan then asked some more questions about her education, schooling, her hometown escetera (as these were the universal questions which didn't need any extroverted courage) and she also did the same.
They sat on the park bench, to continue their interaction.
It was all quiet except for the sudden blow of wind which made the leaves flutter, apprising them of their surroundings momentarily.
Ishan was very nervous.
If only he had tried to talk to the girls in his class in full sentences, instead of phrases like, "Thank you", "Okay", "Excuse me", he wouldn't be shaking now, sitting next to her.
"Aren't you going to say something?" she asked.
Just not the question Ishan was ready for.
"Well.. I...um... Look! isn't the moon beautiful tonight ?" finally some words came out of his mouth.
Horrible and embarrassed he felt after saying these words.
Why in the world would someone say something like this, he thought to himself.
"Indeed, I was gonna say the same" she said.
"Really?, do you also look at the moon and stars, I...I mean I really like looking at them. Earlier I used to go to my roof and spend hours looking at the night sky. Sailing in my thoughts, dreaming but with open eyes. I really miss those days".
He said so much, not sure why, maybe because of the excitement that she was also gonna say the same thing.
The same excitement he felt as a child, when he used to talk so much.
When he used to express whatever he felt without thinking for a second.
But with time, he became more comfortable with expressing everything only to himself.
A long time had passed since he felt such an urge to talk, and to listen.
" I too enjoy looking at the night sky.
The moon and stars. To think that we are so small, so timid in this vast universe. To think that we are alone in all these magnificence or maybe not. " She said.
" Well we may be small in all this vastness.
But I think it all exists because we do.
Otherwise what would be the point of the creation if there was no one to appreciate.
He created everything for a reason".
Ishan said.
She looked at Ishan, with a curious face. Ishan looked at the glow in her eyes.
"You are right.
Everything happens for a reason.
Like us talking here"
She said with a smile.
" I wonder what will happen after we die.
I just want to see everything, all of it.
The stars, the Nebulas, and what not.
I want to know everything. But I know it's not possible in this lifetime.
I hope I get to see after death. That's how I imagine what death would be like.
I want it to be the beginning and not the end"
Ishan was not sure what he had said, he just knew he wanted to say it all for a long time and it was so relaxing to get it off from his mind.
He saw some tears in her eyes or maybe it was just her eyes, shining like water shines under moon.
" Yes I believe that death is not the end.
I also wish it's a beautiful beginning.
You know Ishan, most of the time we are just looking for an escape.
Escape into our own world.
A world made of just imaginations be it the books, movies or the daydreaming.
Isn't it enough to prove that we aren't made for this world."
She said looking up at the moon.
Ishan was also looking sideways at the moon.
" But that beautiful beginning after death is not meant for those who don't value this life.
I believe to value life is to make it good for others.
Am I right, Ishan??"
"Yes" he said.
Ishan felt like a child again when he used to think about life the way he was talking now.
He began to remember what was missing for a long time.
" So tell me about your school Ishan"
Their conversation continued taking various turns, moving first at a slow pace with breaks of complementary smiles, then picking up the pace, they arrived at various topics of interests, sharing similarities in them and how one topic led to another was the very reason they weren't slowing down.
Sitting on the park bench, with their faces towards the moon, they were talking to each other like there was no tomorrow .
Ishan had never felt so relaxed, so happy before.
He had no idea how sharing your past, your views and listening to the same can be so relaxing.
He knew one thing for sure that he didn't want to stop.
He was living each and every moment talking to her,
Finally he was in the present, not giving a damn about future.
In fact there was no past and future, it was only him and her surrounded in a bubble made only for that moment.
Hours went by, they kept talking.
The moon was witness to the two souls, who had never met in this world before, enlightening each other as if they had some previous bond, perhaps in another dimension in another timeline.
It was almost 3:00 am, the girl said that she had to leave ( though she didn't want to leave).
Ishan was still in shock as to how fast time had moved.
He asked her to drop her to her house but she declined saying it's not that far.
Ishan had to oblige.
He looked at her eyes one last time and then said, " I hope to see you tomorrow Sarah"
Yes, it was her name, he had managed to ask her name in the middle of their conversation which he should have asked way before.
" Umm.. maybe, maybe not.
It was good to meet you Ishan."
She said and smiled, and then they both parted their ways.
The bubble had burst.
Part- 2
The train was moving at a fast pace.
Ishan was sitting on the window seat, looking out on the green fields and trees moving away from him.
Lost in his thoughts he was, which had become quite normal for him.
He was thinking how far he had come from his past life, yet it felt like he hadn't moved at all.
All his achievements were floating in his mind, none of them giving him the sense of pleasure he was expecting before getting them.
He had passed the test, got the college, started a new life, made new friends, made a lot of memories, but something was missing.
There was always something in his mind or perhaps in his heart which made him uneasy, restless and gloomy.
Maybe it was regret, regret that he couldn't say proper goodbye to her when she left that night 5 years ago, and never came back.
If he knew, he was seeing her for the last time that night, the same night he met her for the first time, he would say something, something which could find a way in her heart, something which might give her a reason to come back, not in his dreams but for real.
Or maybe it was his expectation, which he had been assuming to come true every day since then, that he would talk to her again, walk with her, share everything with her, become her bestfriend and care for her.
These thoughts, these feelings which he had been soaking his heart into, had begun to devour him.
Nothing could be done now, he thought, even keeping hope was painful.
Maybe time would heal everything, but till now, it had done nothing except making him bear the fact that he has to live with this pain forever, at least till death.
But why was there any pain to begin with, he wondered, there was no reason to be sad, it was just one night, one moment.
One wonderful moment, where he was all by himself, not having to pretend, not having to care what others would think,but only feel the serene breeze of their ongoing conversation, which he felt should have lasted forever.
Such moment never ever came back, not when he was with his friends, talking to them, hanging out with them,not when he would go on some trip to the mountains, or along the seashore, not when he was at home meeting his family after long time.
Nothing seemed to excite him anymore.
That night had changed everything.
He tried to find happiness many a times, but somehow memories of that night caught him first everytime.
He was living in a dilemma, one in which he was tired of keeping a happy face all the time, when inside he was aching.
Solitude had became an escape for him from the loneliness that he felt around people.
It's always about the company,not the place, he had realised.
Why she never came back was the question to which he himself gave the answer everyday, the answers varied depending on whether he had to console his heart or make up his mind to forget everything and move on.
He tried to move on thousands of times, just like he had tried to find her, each time failing and falling into the same cycle again.
How did she look now, is she even alive, is she married, how is her life, is she happy, these were some of the mysteries which he tried not to dwell into because all he found at the end was one painful truth that she is gone forever.
The train had stopped, people were getting down, a man slammed Ishan's head with his bag while being in a hurry, not sure what was his hurry as it was the last station.
Ishan was shaken awake from his state of incessant thoughts.
He got down, took a cab at the exit and headed for his home.
For a long holiday of almost 1 month he had come home after giving his final year exams.
However, he didn't like being at home.
Maybe because of the park which he had to see everyday, where he had gone to walk many a times at night, hoping to see her again. At home he had nothing to do, nothing to keep his mind occupied.
He got home, welcomed by his father who was strangely happy that night, his mother as well.
He went back to his room and fell asleep.
Next morning, when he was having breakfast, the reason for that strange smile of his father and mother came onto him when his mother told him that they had found a girl for his marriage and were hoping that he meet her tomorrow.
It was bit of a shock for Ishan but after some consideration, he agreed to meet her.
He had to agree because he thought this could be a way for him to forget her, perhaps after getting married, after getting to live with another person, he would finally be free from her shadow.
So, the meeting was arranged, he went to meet her in a restaurant.
To his surprise, she had arrived early and was waiting at the cornermost table.
Ishan was very nervous, as he should have been.
This was not a date, it was an arranged meeting, between two people who had never met, who had to decide about living together.
This was a tough job indeed because they also had to pretend that it's just a normal meeting where they could get to know each other, ask naive questions of one's hobby, one's liking and disliking and so on.
But the truth was that they had to analyse each other from various aspects, and take a decision based on the similarities they share.
Atleast Ishan was aware of this situation.
He had thought a lot about this, the previous night, as his overthinking nature permitted.
Most humans, when it comes to make a relationship, follow the same pattern, they talk, they express and then they listen, looking for similarities in the opposite person, they don't care about the other person's ideas, hobbies, stories unless it shares the fragments of their own life.
In logical terms, the conversations are only a matching test, in which one passes (gets liked) if they match more than a certain threshold to another person.
And then there were those conversations which happened after the relationship was established, in which one talks only to express themselves, with no desire to listen.
When one of them eventually stopped listening, the bond is broken, followed by separation.
This was true for most of the cases, according to Ishan, except for some conversations which happened randomly in the middle of a night, in an isolated park under the vivid moon.
Considering all these things, Ishan began the conversation (test).
Her name was Alisha, she was in the same college year as Ishan.
They talked for quite a long time, this being possible because she was an extrovert who kept their conversation going, putting Ishan at relief.
She had passed, Ishan liked her, the main reason being that she was okay with Ishan being silent most of the time.
Ishan could be with her not having to force a conversation, just listening and saying a few words in between.
This is what he had become, a silent listener ,saying a thousand words all the time, only in his mind.
He didn't want to express himself, reason being the last time when he had opened himself, when he truly spoke out loud his thoughts, he was hurt, the wound still unhealed.
They met again 3 times at different places
, getting to know each other more with each meeting.
Finally, the decision was made, they agreed to marry.
Parents on both sides were happy.
Dates were decided for the ceremony, and invitations were sent.
Ishan was happy, finally he was moving away from something which bothered him for the past 5 years.
Alisha was good, he would keep her happy and care for her.
Let the past be buried and let's look for a new beginning.
Ishan had decided.
So, to bury the past, he had one thing left to do, he had to pay one last visit to the park, the same park.
Scared he was to go there, he had last visited the park almost one year ago.
But now, he had to do this, he had to face his emotions one last time before he could be free from them.
He was thinking about paying a last visit to the park for quite some time, he just couldn't muster up the courage to do so, because it would mean he was ready to forget her, he was ready to move on.
Everytime he had tried to do this, the fear of failure stopped him, or perhaps the fear of success.
But now he had got the reason, he had to it for Alisha.
So he went to the Park.
In the middle of night.
When everyone was asleep.
He was all alone, standing at the same spot, where he first saw her.
For a moment it all became quiet.
He felt relaxed looking at the moon.Cold breeze was brushing past his cheeks.
He felt kind of free.
All the emotions which were bursting inside him for the past few years seemed to slip away one by one.
He was thinking of his future, his life with Alisha.
"Are you free now?"
He heard a voice.
He heard the Voice.
It was her.
He thought.
He moved.
He looked.
There she was, standing, smiling, shining.
Her face, the one he had never forgotten was there, with those eyes which no poem could describe.
How could she be there, she wasn't supposed to be.
It was all going to be over now.
But there she was, after all those years she came back.
Ishan was in shock, so many thoughts were running inside him.
He couldn't move.
He didn't know what he was feeling.
Maybe it was just his imagination.
But she felt real.
He saw her now, when he did not hope to see her.
He was senseless as what to do , what to say.
Finally, he responded.
He responded with tears.
He wanted to say so many things at the moment, but all that came out were his tears.
"How could you do this to me? Why did you come to my life if you had to leave me like this ?Do you have any Idea how much I have suffered thinking about you all the time? You took away my peace. You left me nothing but sorrow and hopelessness And now, when I was finally moving on, you had to come back. You shouldn't have done this to me. You shouldn't have come to my life"
His mind was telling him to say these words.
But in the end, it was his heart that spoke.
" How are you?"
She was not smiling now.
" I am good",
" How are you?"
" Broken" he said.
Then there was silence for a minute or so.
" Why did you leave me?" he finally said.
" I never left you. I was just waiting. " She said.
" What do you mean?
I searched for you everywhere.
There was no trace of you.
It's like you never existed.
Sometimes I think that night wasn't even real, you weren't real.
Maybe it was all just my imagination
Maybe I have been living in delusion"
He said with tears still falling from his eyes.
" I am as real as the moon.
It's not always visible, but you know it's always there" she said, smiling now.
" So do you want to forget me? she asked.
Ishan just stood there in silence.
After a long pause, he said
" I don't know what to do anymore.
Maybe I am just stuck in that night, not able to leave or not wanting to leave.
Maybe I just want to sit on that bench again with you by my side.
Can we do that??"
" Yes we can do that" Sarah said
So again they sat down to talk.
Hours went by, they kept on talking like nothing ever happened between that night and this night.
She kept asking about his life and he kept answering.
Ishan again had forgotten everything .
The bubble had formed again.
After a long conversation, which mainly revolved around Ishan's life, Sarah stood up.
Ishan had not yet asked Sarah about what happened in her life.
" Where are you going?" he asked.
" It's time to go.
I just wanted to meet you one last time.
Don't worry you will forget about me eventually.
Go ahead and live a good life" she said hiding her tears.
" No.. no .. no..please don't go.
Please stay. I can't live another day. I don't have the courage. Please just stay forever"
He was crying.
" No I can't stay here.
I cannot even if I want to"
She said not looking at him.
" Then take me with you.
I want to be with you.
Till eternity"
Now she looked at him.
" Are you sure??"
" Yes I am sure" Ishan said looking in her eyes.
Now the breeze had stopped.
Everything seemed to pause in that moment.
She held out her hand.
He took her hand.
They both walked together.
The moon was again witness to the two souls leaving as one.
In the morning there was a huge crowd gathered in the park.
They were all talking to each other in low voices.
Ishan was sitting on the bench smiling.
But his parents were around him crying.
Two old men were saying something in a little distance.
" Such a tragedy. I believe this park is cursed. Earlier that poor girl who came to visit his uncle many years ago and now this poor boy. Both dead at the same spot".
The End.