6th May
I had awoken from my peaceful slumber by a loud thud from the other side of my door. The sheer aggressiveness of the poundings had made me jump out of my bed and cower behind it like a child. I remember distinctly the same continuous pattern that had continued for so agonisingly long that my mind began to lose hold of itself.
Knock Knock.
Silence.
Knock Knock.
Silence.
Looping inside my head, the sound had implanted a certain reaction within my body that as I write this, my hand continues to profusely shake with immense fear. That is probably why my entries have started to become less and less understandable. This unusual experience continued over a few hours until it abruptly stopped.
However, after a day of absorbing all that had happened to me, it has given me time to reflect on my own life and my own beliefs. I have never been an avid believer of the supernatural. A mockery is what I call it. The world has advanced so much to the point that we have finally sent man to the moon and yet this belief that people hold onto has become an addictive drug for those who cannot accept logic and science as the only answer. However, after my previous occurrence, my will began to shake slightly if I dared say so.
Fear is such a potent killer. It sneaks within us silently and holds onto our hand as a mother would do to her child and accompanies us to feelings that we would never have expected. It can diminish the most formidable foes into the smallest of cowards and others, who would normally dare not raise even their tone throughout their meaningless life to savage animals. Mankind has underestimated this irrational feeling, not realising the true potential it has. I have continuously had the thought that, if harnessed, we could create our very own savage army, beasts yes but valuable, nonetheless. As a man of science, I can not contain this continuous thirst for answers, and it eats inside of me. I have not yet disclosed everything that has occurred that night. It is 9.54 am. I must leave for my work, but I shall return to complete my story. The train shall not wait for anyone who doesn't have the urge to conquer and explore. Godspeed!
6th May -Continued
9.54 pm. Time really is a hilarious thing. The thought that everything my life revolves around is split into various sections throughout the day, by mere numbers we have created ourselves. These shackles on our wrists have stopped us from reverting back to our primitive state, however. Without the concept of time, we would not know when it is best to do things. And yet, we have no understanding of it whatsoever. I find it even more amusing that I have completed my journey full circle. I am finishing at 9.54 am. to continue the story at 9.54 pm. Destiny truly works wonders.
But, enough of that, we have some things to discuss. I have continued to contemplate the ideas inside me. Can we harness fear into creating mindlessly savage creatures who can continue to obey through the constant stimulus of fear?
For this to make sense, during my unusual experience, I had in some trance reached for my gun that was placed inside my draw beside me. Only after the knocking had stopped had my mind realised what I was holding. A puzzling reaction indeed. Yet one that has always made sense. Humans would grab anything to protect themselves as whilst in fear they do not think rationally. We are, in theory, mindless beings living in that brief moment.
But this inner thought continues to provoke me. It continues to edge me on, and I can't help but wonder. Can we control this? Use it to our advantage? This could help us in such aspects that we could live without trouble. Security, war, even labour. We could create our own mindless slaves that, in the continuous sense of fear, obey. I continue to feel my excitement growing as I write down my thoughts. My own personal experience has shown me the blueprints. If I can succumb to such lengths that I would do anything to protect myself in the state of fear, then perhaps I can alter that to my own wants.
I would need to acquire funding however and people to experiment on. This could be revolutionary if successful. And if not, then failures only pave the way for success. It is getting late, and I need these sudden urges to settle down. I have no idea when my next entry will be, but until we meet again.
Adieu!