"Damn it, I ran into Madara again!"
Kushina slumped in her chair in front of the computer, letting out a groan of despair.
"I'm starting to think that guy is haunting me."
"You saw him again?" Mikoto paused, a thoughtful look on her face. "Is the Pure Land really that boring?"
"What kind of question is that?" Yuto couldn't help but laugh. "You think they're working a nine-to-five in the afterlife?"
Ahem.
"That's not what I meant," Mikoto said, clearing her throat awkwardly. "I'm just saying Madara seems to have an incredible amount of free time. He's been playing this game for over a month now, and his rank is still exactly the same as Kushina's: Black Iron IV!"
"Mikoto-chan, what are you trying to imply?" Kushina's face instantly darkened.
"Nothing at all," Mikoto replied with an innocent, sweet smile. "Just that you're both... remarkably dedicated."
"Dedicated, my foot! I can hear the sarcasm dripping from your voice!" Kushina fumed, her voice rising in pitch. "You're totally making fun of me for being bad, aren't you?!"
"Oh? You actually noticed?"
"Go die!"
"But seriously," Mikoto continued, resting her chin on her hand, "I never thought The Uchiha Madara would have zero talent for gaming. Has he even won a single match on his own merit?"
"Once," Kushina shrugged. "But that was only because someone on the other team went AFK. I was on his team that time."
"Wow, that's just sad," Mikoto sighed, speechless. "A legendary shinobi said to rival the God of Shinobi, and that's his only path to victory. But even if he wins his lane, he probably still can't protect his parents from the chat, can he?"
"Pffft—hahaha! That's way too accurate!" Kushina burst out laughing. "Every time I get matched with Madara, his parents get dragged through the mud by the entire team. Looks like this time is no exception."
Mikoto glanced at the computer screen, where sure enough, the public chat was already exploding with insults.
[TrashTop (Four-Tails)]: What the hell are you even doing, playing as Uchiha Madara? Did you even graduate elementary school, bro?
[HopelessOldMan (Third Hokage)]: Graduate? I doubt this idiot ever went to school. His dad just popped out a placenta and called it a son before unleashing him on us to ruin games!
'Placenta?'
Mikoto completely lost it, covering her mouth as her shoulders shook with silent laughter.
"These gamers are really something else..."
"They have zero filter," Kushina sighed. "The gaming community has become so toxic—it's slowly making everyone aggressive. But to be fair, Madara's gameplay is painful to watch. He's supposed to be jungling, but he keeps stealing the mid-laner's minions."
"Wait, Madara is actually talking back this time?" Mikoto said in surprise, pointing at the screen.
[NotAMagicalGirl (Uchiha Madara)]: 'Your dad popped out a placenta?' Impressive. So you're out here making friends with a placenta?
[HopelessOldMan (Third Hokage)]: ? Your mom's getting reported!
[NotAMagicalGirl (Uchiha Madara)]: Your mom didn't make it.
Watching Uchiha Madara's messages pop up, Kushina wore an expression of shock.
"Unbelievable! The old man is getting fluent in internet slang! Wait... This has to be someone pulling the strings behind the scenes, right?"
As she spoke, both women turned their suspicious gazes toward Yuto.
It was out of character for the usually aloof and proud Madara to suddenly clap back with such modern vitriol. The only one who could possibly be behind such a dramatic transformation was Yuto.
"Pulling the strings is a bit of an exaggeration. I just gave him a few tips on his laning technique," Yuto said with a nonchalant shrug.
"Laning technique?" Kushina raised an eyebrow, utterly unamused. "You mean public chat laning technique, don't you?"
"But this really isn't sustainable," Yuto murmured, his hand absentmindedly stroking the red-haired woman's leg, covered in white stockings. "I'm honestly worried about what Madara might turn into if this continues."
"Hey, how can you say that with a straight face while doing this?" Kushina's eye twitched.
"Are you planning to do something about it?" Mikoto, however, picked up on the mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Madara staying cooped up in the Pure Land isn't good for his... health. He needs to get out for some fresh air," Yuto said, picking up the communicator on the table and pressing the prominent red button.
---
The Pure Land.
Soul lights shimmered everywhere, each green speck representing the soul of a deceased shinobi. It was a realm of eternal, silent rest.
Among them, Uchiha Madara was the sole exception—a complete soul, consciously awakened.
Not only that, he was also wearing a peculiar device on his head that connected him directly to the Land of Waves network.
From his perspective, he had transformed into the Uchiha Madara from the "Valley of the End" within the game.
Unlike others who used keyboards, he was directly possessing the in-game character through neural impulse.
In theory, this should have given him an advantage, allowing for perfect control and reaction times...
But unfortunately, he was, terrible at games.
He had no game sense, terrible macro awareness, and his mechanics were abysmal. As a result, he had become a permanent fixture in the lowest ranks over the past month.
Worse yet, his poor performance often dragged his parents into the fray, offering them up as metaphorical mounts for his teammates to ridicule.
Uchiha Madara had had enough. He wanted to break free from this cycle of humiliation, so he had sought out Yuto, hoping the enigmatic man could offer a solution.
After a few days of... unconventional training, he had finally mastered the art of "public chat laning" from Yuto!
And honestly? It turned out to be incredibly fun!
So far, not a single teammate who dared to trash-talk him in the public chat had lasted more than ten exchanges with him!
He might lose the game, but he won the war of words! This petty victory brought him a strange, vindictive joy that was somehow more satisfying than actually winning a match.
Uchiha Madara was starting to get addicted.
[HopelessOldMan (Third Hokage)]: You worthless piece of trash! I hope your whole family drops dead tomorrow morning!
Heh.
Looking at the new message popping up in the public chat, Uchiha Madara smiled calmly. A cold, superior smirk.
'Did this little weakling really think he could get under my skin? What kind of amateur does he take me for?'
His fingers flew as he began to type his retort.
[NotAMagicalGirl (Uchiha Madara): Heh. For someone like you, who doesn't even have a family to—
Before he could finish the sentence, a sudden, intense sensation gripped him.
A dark green, fluorescent light erupted from nowhere, enveloping his entire spiritual form.
'What is this...?!'
His consciousness fragmented, pulled through a violent, disorienting tunnel.
When his senses reassembled and he opened his eyes again, he found himself standing on solid ground in an unfamiliar, dimly lit environment.
The game was gone. The connection, severed.
"You bastards!" Uchiha Madara's mood soured, rage bubbling up at being robbed of his comeback.
Not being able to send that last message felt like having countless ants crawling under his skin.
"Who the hell dared to use the Impure World Reincarnation on me?! Was your mom in such a hurry because she gave birth to a roasted pork at the hospital?!"
Silence.
His furious shout echoed, and the entire area fell into an eerie, silence.
"L-Lord Madara!" A familiar, wailing voice called out from the side. Uchiha Madara turned his furious gaze toward the sound. "You're... White Zetsu?"
"Lord Madara! I've missed you so much!"
The original White Zetsu lay prostrate on the ground, scrambling forward to hug Uchiha Madara's legs as he sobed with dramatic flair.
"Get off me!" Madara kicked him away, his expression turning dark. "Where's Black Zetsu? Tell him to get his ass over here now!"
"Lord Madara!" White Zetsu took a deep, shuddering breath, his voice trembling with grief and indignation. "That Black Zetsu... he's defected! He betrayed our organization! He defected to the Land of Waves!"
"???"
Uchiha Madara froze, his mouth slightly agape in disbelief.
"Defected to where?"
_____
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