Cursed be the day I decided to think with my dick instead of my head. And that's with me knowing my nervous system by heart. There's definitely no brain in my cock! I came close to death a few times. I'm starting to think demons' low libido isn't an accident. They're smarter than I gave them credit for.
My padawans collectively decided to betray me and join the dark side. Well, their funeral. They were this close to me showing them mercy, but nope. The court unanimously ruled, no appeals. Their pathetic excuses like, "Sir Sensei, the mightiest mage among humans couldn't just surrender to some succubus," weren't accepted. They don't understand shit about life. Some enemies are too much for anyone.
Mary fucked off but promised to come back. Yeah, sure. She won't find any happy dicks here anymore. Meanwhile, I decided to punish the guys for their disobedience. I cut off Vyer's material supply, so now he can do whatever the hell he wants. He's already contributed to my comfort. I've got some slick, coal-black outfits made from my tender ass skin. Sadly, I had no clue how to process it, so I had to buy that info from Mary at an insane price. These suits are worth more to me than all the Gucci and Versace in the world. I don't even know what I'd do to someone who ruins them. And I used to think clothes were just clothes.
Though Mary talked shit about Vyer, she appreciated his talent. The sneaky bitch placed an order directly with him, bypassing my control. He sewed her a cloak while I was passed out. Betrayal everywhere…
I made Grok stand on his head all day, claiming it improves mana control. Later, he admitted it actually worked. Now I'm sitting here thinking: should I try it? Nah, fuck that nonsense. But dumbass Grok's words secured him a comfy spot for all future training.
That's how Mary found him.
"Hey, Pineapple, how's it going?"
"Real funny…" I snapped, pissed.
"What's with the big guy?"
"I'm training…" Grok grunted through clenched teeth. "Don't interrupt, vile creature…"
Mary just blinked, confused.
"Don't mind him," I cut in.
"Man… There's always some weird shit going on here, but whatever. I'm here for something else…"
"Let me guess?"
"How about a little fun?"
"Your 'little' is a fucking ton. And 'fun'? Don't get me started."
"Oh, don't cry. I've got payment."
"Nothing in this life is worth—"
Out of nowhere, Mary pulled a bottle of sketchy brownish liquid from under her (my) leather coat. Well, maybe it's worth something…
"Damn… Is that what I think it is?"
"No, dipshit, it's not a pink pony. How the fuck would I know what you're thinking? It's whiskey. So, you in? To the mattress?"
"I'm underage!" I should've screamed, but back home, nobody gave a shit. I never considered myself a drunk—neither does any drunk—but with all this stress, I wouldn't mind a shot. Plus, drinking blood gets old fast. I'm shocked I haven't died from it. So, my pain-block system glitched out, and I quickly remembered what Grok was training on.
"No! No! No! Take that shit away. You can't buy me with a bottle of whiskey."
"How about two?" Mary ignored my defenses and checkmated me, pulling another bottle from her other hand.
"Listen, even in my prime, I couldn't handle that much. A third won't change shit. In my state, drinking's fucking painful."
"You sure?" Mary pulled out a third.
"Absolutely. Ukraino Popadanos Oblico Morale."
"Huh? You casting a spell or what?" My students tensed up.
"Nah, forget it. Point is, I'm out. My will's unshakable, like Buddha."
"Oh, yeah? Fine…" She seemed to give up. "Here, take it. Your hard-earned, pineapple-level map."
With a smug look, the succubus tossed me a small metal plate and half-assedly explained.
"This map shows info on anyone who leaves blood on it. Do it in the corner, over those ancient runes."
She pointed to a spot. I looked and was floored.
"What the… Ctrl Shift Escape?…"
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Fuck.
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I`m.
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idiot.
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As soon as I said those three magic words, a blue window popped up, like the ones calling me an endurer.
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/ Race --- Human /
/ Level --- 2 /
/ Specialty --- Slave (1%) /
/ Base Stats: /
/ Strength --- 33 Endurance --- 37 Agility --- 18 Magic Power --- 68(+1) Mana --- 105 /
/ Skills: /
/ Concentration --- 123 / Sensitivity --- 117 / Mana Control --- 111 / Thinking --- 105 / Resilience --- 95 /
/ Element --- Lightning /
/ Titles: /
/ Sufferer /
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Mary waved her hands in front of my face for a while until I snapped out of it.
"Listen, Mary, take it back. I don't need it."
"What? You don't need it? I didn't buy this shit for nothing! It wasn't cheap!"
"Gimme the bottle instead…"
Mary looked at my pathetic face and quieted down. I'd paid for that map in full.
"Hey, what's wrong? 'Cause you're a slave?"
"Nah, I'm fine. I just… I don't know."
I don't know why I felt so shitty. Because I'm a fucking idiot, or because the system's mocking me. How do you predict this kind of stupidity? And wait… Fine, my ass! I'm in fucking hell! But, hard to believe, Mary showed a bit of humanity.
"Here," she handed me the booze and patted my shoulder. "On the house."
Then she plopped down beside me and passed bottles to my buddies. She had four of them.
"Uh… We're really drinking whiskey like beer?"
"That's not how you drink it?"
"No."
"I wondered why everyone stared at me in the bar. Almost lost it from the attention."
"Then why didn't you charm them? Or is that just for me?"
"Boss forbids it."
"Oh… Life's tough for you too."
"Yeah. The magic here suppresses hunger and bloodlust, but not lust. Can't draw too much attention in the city. So I hunt victims in dark corners. All sorts of trash."
"Yep, life's a fucking bitch. By the way, anyone around here use ice magic?"
"There's a few, but they're far off."
"Got it… What about Cola magic?"
"Never heard of it."
"See? Life's a goddamn nightmare. Why's there fire and earth magic but no burger magic? Or, say, teleportation? I'd kill for that."
"There's actually a guy with teleportation magic…"
"I'll kill him…"
"Yeah, don't bust a nut. Even I'm scared of that freak."
"He's that strong?"
"Well, teleportation…"
"Oh, by the way, can you show your skills?" Mary shrugged.
"Why not?"
She took the plate and dripped her blood in the corner. After a few seconds, black letters in a foreign script I'd long memorized appeared.
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/ Race --- Demon /
/ Level --- 488 /
/ Specialty --- Succubus (bonus experience for mating) /
/ Base Stats: /
[Redacted] [Redacted] [Redacted] [Redacted] [Redacted]
/ Skills: /
/ Shapeshifting / Charm / Seductive Gaze / Beauty / Body Control / Suggestion / Mind Control /
/ Element --- Mind /
/ Titles: /
/ --- /
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"Tell me, Mary… What the fuck are those skills I've NEVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?!"
"Oh, my... Why should I care about your sorry ass? I need stealth in the city, but here, buddy, fuck off, please. I'm comfier in my true form without skills."
Of course… A feminist-nympho combo is terrifying.
We chilled a bit longer, and then Mary shamelessly took advantage of my drunk state. My torturers were passed out, useless. Weird how whiskey hit them like that. I thought it'd be like milk to a horse, but that damn bitch probably spiked it. She'd do anything to get her way. But something else bugs me. She used my own trick against me. I feel like a used rag. Sorry to the few girls I got lucky with. I really am.
When I could move again, she was gone. Today's some mirror day. Karma's back at it? I felt like shit. Turns out, my technique's useless against hangovers. I was also a bit pissed at humanity's shitty magi-tech. That busted screenshot plate didn't even show stat numbers. So I'm left guessing how far behind I am compared to these damn demons.
Grok and Vyer's levels were lower—378 and 390. When they woke up, they were shocked by the fact they woke up. Probably their first time. They watched me struggle to close the status window with suspicion. Why not use different commands for opening and closing the game menu? So fucking clever and convenient, right? I finally got lucky with Ctrl+Tab+PgDn. No clue what Android these local coders used or what Linux they smoked to come up with that genius solution.
The next few weeks, I had Vyer catch hellhounds for me to slaughter. Harder than I thought. Killing them's a pain in the ass. But after offing a ton, I got my level to 15. Each level gives one stat point. With direct status access, I can distribute them. They can also boost skills. So I learned Mary's stats are at least 488. No idea what her starting stats were or how much she leveled without the main game mechanic. I'm not an optimist. Even hellhounds are level 120 or higher. Despair hit me. My hands dropped. But then I thought, why worry? It can't get worse. I forced a smile at the black clouds above. Everything's fine, I lied to myself.
"Hey, Vyer, I've got an idea for new training. Any clue which way the gate is?"